"'Duke Floyd of the House of Sehlp?!'" Rainbow Dash blinked from where she hovered. "With all due respect, madame. Would you mind running that by me again? I've got three legs left to pull."
"It was the name he was born with," Duchess Arcanista said as she strolled along the cobblestone path that surrounded the tall manor. Bellesmith, Pilate, Rainbow, and the Duchess' servants followed close behind. "Since the day of his inheritance, Floyd goverened the village of Bountiful and its surrounding provinces for ten prosperous years. And then, he disappeared."
"And you've been ruling this estate ever since?" Pilate asked.
The Duchess nodded. "As is my noble duty."
"For how long?" Belle asked.
The elk's nostrils flared. "Five years. Going on six."
"Yeesh..." Rainbow glanced at the others. "Just how old is Floydien?"
Arcanista spun and faced the three. "I do not know who this stranger is who bears Floyd's name." Her eyes narrowed. "But if he has made it back to Bountiful, then he is not the same Duke who left."
"Why not?" Belle asked.
Arcanista took a deep breath, staring off into the horizon. "He died."
Belle glanced at Pilate.
Rainbow, however, was leaning forward on flapping wings. "Why... do I get the feeling you're not so certain of this?"
Arcanista's hooves kneaded the path.
"Please." Rainbow smiled hopefully. "We're just trying to connect the dots here. If you are too, then maybe we can help each other, huh?"
"Floyd's death was... the result of several calamitous circumstances, all coming to a head." The elk shuddered in her gown. "I've never been able to feel true closure in his passing. What's more, all connections between the House of Sehlp and the Val Roan High Council certainly haven't recovered, in even five long years."
"Recovered from what?" Pilate asked.
"Madame, if it's not too much for us to ask, perhaps you can tell us what happened."
Arcanista took a deep breath, frowning slightly. "An abridged version will do."
"Hey, that's cool." Rainbow shrugged. "I dig bridges." Belle rolled her eyes.
Arcanista spoke: "When the previous Duke of Sehlp passed away, Floyd was considered too young to properly occupy a seat in the High Council. This, of course, raised no small amount of protest among the populace here in Bountiful. A vote was made to challenge the High Council's legislature—an obscure set of rules that appeared to hold a remarkably striking bias against the first new representative to come from Bountiful in half a century."
"And here we flew over two continents and an ocean in hopes of avoiding evil politics," Pilate said with a smirk.
Belle sighed. "Beloved..."
"Your mate is quite correct," Arcanista said. "As much as I would wish it were otherwise, Val Roa's High Council is anything but a committee of saints. Corruption and greed run deep. If it weren't for the predominating authority of the monarchy, the nation would implode overnight."
"Hah!" Rainbow Dash pointed. "Amen to that, sister!" She smirked down at the others. "I' telling ya! Every kingdom needs a princess!"
"Uhm..." Belle cleared her throat and looked up at Arcanista. "So, Bountiful attempted to challenge the High Council on Floyd's behalf?"
"And, naturally, the Council held up the commission to reexamine the law for months. And when Floyd—young and upset—allowed his furious side to show, the Council took advantage of his actions, deeming him too contemptuous for official representation. Through yet another legistlative loophole, they appointed the duke from a bordering province to act as steward for Bountiful within Val Roa Proper."
"Why not you?"
"They had something to gain in all this," Arcanista said. "With the death of the previous Duke, Val Roa decided to pick Bountiful apart from the outside. The Council would have suceeded if it weren't for the swift actions of Floyd and myself. We took our power inward, lobbying against the influence of the steward, maintaining our trade agreements while staving off aggressive taxation. By the time Floyd finally earned himself a seat in the Council, several years had passed, and Bountiful no longer had the influence it once did. We had been marginalized, stripped clean by interpolitical bureaucracy."
"Yeesh..." Rainbow Dash rubbed her aching skull. "I think I prefer the managliders and battleships..."
"What was it that possessed the Duke to leave?" Pilate asked.
"As the years grew by, Floyd struggled to gain back the glory that once belonged to Bountiful within the kingdom," Arcanista explained. "For months... even years, he remained on the other side of the West Gate. The Council's meddlings made him a virtual stranger to his own subjects. But he was strong... and wise. His loyalty paid out, and soon he was in a place of power that couldn't simply be written away with the stroke of a pen. Naturally, his adversaries within Val Roa decided to cross the line."
"What..." Belle gulped. "Wh-what did they do?"
Arcanista was silent.
The Jurists waited with intense patience.
"They... found a way to manipulate him." Arcanista clenched her jaws. "Virtually overnight, his life was turned upside down. I suspect that someone in the Royal Cabinet intervened on the Council's side."
"You mean someone who worked with the monarchy?" Pilate asked.
Arcanista went on. "Floyd was so distraught from the threats made, that he fled the kingdom. I tried to intervene, to reason with him, but we hadn't crossed paths in months. There was no chance I could catch up to him in time. He abandoned everything here in Bountiful—his possessions, his entire inheritance, even the Noble Crown of Sehlp. He gave up all but one thing—his prized animal, a highly-trained companion he made among the sanctuary here."
"Simon..." Belle said.
Arcanista nodded. "Floyd named the creature himself. He was very good at naming things, he..." Her voice trailed off.
"What... what happened then?" Rainbow asked.
Arcanista sighed. "Duke Floyd's body... was found at the bottom of a ravine west of here, north of the Green Swamps. A Val Roan Royal patrol reported finding his corpse. They say that they found his body riddled with silver bullets—the work of a marauding band of Green Bandits, loyal to the Cartel."
"You sound a heck of a lot angrier then sad," Rainbow said.
"Indeed." Arcanista glanced up, her eyes fiery. "For the Val Roan patrol refused to provide Bountiful with Floyd's body."
"Preposterous!" Belle exclaimed. "He's a Duke from a sovereign province!"
"How in the heck could they get away with that?!"
"They claimed possession of Floyd's will and testament," Arcanista said. "Which purportedly documented his desire to be buried in the high plains of Val Roa Proper."
"Surely you challenged it."
"I attempted to," Arcanista said in an exhausted tone. "But it was clear to me that where Floyd's authority was marginalized, mine was to be virtually nonexistent. I was never allowed to exhume the body. To this day, I still haven't seen the grave."
"Probably because there isn't one," Pilate said.
Arcanista gazed softly at the three. "For years, I accepted Floyd's death as a consequence of Val Roan meddling. Somepony in the High Council decided to do the unthinkable and silence him forever. Since I've become Duchess in his stead, I've been allowed a seat on the Council, but it's a function in name only. The Val Roans seek to make me a puppet, and all of Bountiful in turn."
"You don't have any allies within the kingdom?" Bele asked. "Anypony who could somehow help uncover this conspiracy?"
"You must understand, when Floyd was forced out of the kingdom, I realized the cost of outright challenging a power as supreme as Val Roa's," Arcanista said. "As much as I would like to vindicate the Duke's murder, I've had a duty to the nobles and ponies of Bountiful all the same. If I was to incur the wrath of the Val Roans and suffer the same fate as Floyd, then there's nothing that would stand in the way of a steward or a rival duke from dividing my provinces like piecemeal. For the sake of the peace, I've accepted my fate, and have filled my days these past five years with maintaining harmony in this part of the Continent."
Rainbow Dash squirmed in midair. "Well, jee... I-I'm all for Harmony, but that's one heck of a cost..."
"Indeed." Arcanista hung her head. "My only hope these long, long seasons is that there is some truth that I've yet to understand, and that what I know may in fact still be unraveled further. The possibility that Duke Floyd may still be alive is something that I've held close to my heart for years, but I haven't had any legitimate reason to believe it..." She tilted her face back up, eyes leering. "...until now."
The Jurists gazed back at her.
"This 'Floydien'..." Arcanista took a few bold steps towards the three. "Has he ever spoken of Bountiful or the House of Selhp before?"
"Well... he sp-speaks..." Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck. "But... uhhhhhh... it sure isn't anything you'd understand... or w-want to hear."
Arcanista glared. "Take me to him."
"NOPE!" ZZzzztt! A tree exploded.
"Four hundred and twenty-eight," Josho and Zaid muttered.
"NOPE! Zaaaap! Pebbles scattered through the forest.
"Four hundred and twenty-nine."
"NOPE!" Floydien—frenzied and sweating—spun his antlers once again.
Arcanista stood in his way. She smiled demurely into the sparkling light of his manacharge. "Hello, Floyd."
"...!" Floydien froze in place, grimacing. He panted and panted and gulped.
Josho and Zaid jumped up to their hooves, glancing between the two elk. They turned and looked at Rainbow Dash, who hovered above two reindeer guards in armored uniform.
"Whoah!" Zaid did a double-take. "Just five more and we can deliver presents around the world!"
"Not the time, pal," Rainbow muttered.
"Uhm..." Josho shuffled over and murmured into the pegasus' ear. "Who's Floydien's cross-dressing doppelganger?"
"That is Duchess Arcanista of the House of Selhp."
"Gesundheit." Josho's brow furrowed as the dust from Floydien's manablasts finally settled around them. "But what in the heck is she gonna do with our pilot?"
"Make things a whole lot more interesting. Shhhh." Rainbow motioned them to listen, then craned her neck.
Arcanista took a few courageous steps towards Floydien. "A part of me didn't want to believe that you were still breathing, because I was too afraid to see who... or what you would become, to have survived the calamity of the High Council so." She tilted her head to the side with a soft smile. "But now, I understand that you need me now more than ever. Please, brother, tell me what's happened to you."
Floydien seethed, hissed, and barked: "Frilly boomer! Spit somewhere else! Floydien needs only to dash the shimmer! Yes yes yesss!"
Arcanista's ears drooped. After a few seconds of utter shock, she frowned. "This... is not the work of Val Roa..."
"Nrnnnngh!" Floydien spun and fired an electrical blast at a wall of earth, sending rocky chunks rattling all over.
Instinctively, Rainbow Dash flew forward.
One of the guards held her by her tail.
"Dude!" Rainbow stammered. "She's right in the thick of it—!"
"The Honorable Duchess can handle this," one reindeer said. "More than the rest of us combined."
Rainbow blinked at him, then bit her lip as she watched the exchange from afar.
"Floyd... brother..." Arcanista rested a hoof on his side. "Why so much wrath? So much anger—?"
"Raaaugh!" Floydien shoved her back. "Spit elsewhere!" He heaved and heaved. "So many boomers want Floydien's shimmers! They want Floydien's Nancy Jane! But they never... want... Floydien!"
"These are honorable ponies, Floydien," Arcanista said, gesturing back at Rainbow, Zaid, and Josho. "It's obvious that they care for you. They know as I do that—no matter how lost you may be—Duke Floyd does not exercise his generosity blindly." She stepped closer. "I know you to be a good ruler. A kind ruler."
"Stop... sp-spitting!" He howled in her face. "You shuffle shuffle beyond the glimmer veil! No boomer knows Floydien! Only Floydien knows Floydien! So let me be Floydien!" He twirled once again, antlers brimming with elecricity.
Without warning, Arcanista thrust her head forward. Two fixed points on her skull sparked with energy, surging blue bolts into the husk of a tree and exploding it from deep within.
"Gaaah!" Zaid flinched.
"Holy horse balls..." Josho shuddered.
Floydien blinked. His twitching eyes darted to Arcanista.
She smiled. "Taught me everything you know." She let loose an airy laugh. "See what I said, Floyd? Generous."
"Wait..." Rainbow Dash gawked. "You mean all elks can do the zap-thingy?"
Arcanista turned and gave her a graceful look. "Our ancestors didn't become rulers of Bountiful solely for their good looks..."
"It makes no difference to Floydien," the pilot hissed, backing away from the Duchess. "Floydien has had his fill of stabby stabs! They take the form of every boomer they like! Even boomers that Floydien trusts can become stabby-stabs!" He stomped his hooves. "Floydien does not care for boomer's shimmer! Floydien only needs Nancy Jane and the wind wind!"
"Will you tell me about these 'stabby-stabs?'" Arcanista asked, face awash with concern. "Were they the ones who... turned you into this?"
"No no no!" Floydien shook his head, clenching his teeth. "Enough with the spit! Boomer should shove shove before Floydien gives the boom!"
"Floyd," Arcanista said, staring into his eyes. "Midnite Bastion is alive."
Floydien's features paled. He stared at his sibling with twitching, pinprick eyes. Then—starting with a rising growl—he lunged, thrusting his antlers forward at full-spark. "Hraaa-aaaaaaaaaaaugh!"
FLASSSSH!
Arcanista stood her ground. She aimed her skull against the splashing bolts of electricity. Though she initially absorbed the violent blast, her face strained, and her hooves dug backwards through the disturbed soil.
The guards flinched around the Jurists, reaching for their scimitars.
"Liar!" Floydien hollered. "Lying spit boomer! Floydien will hash hash you to dust dust!"
"This... is... m-more power... th-than I anticipated..." Arcanista stammered amidst her strain. "Brother... you... m-must stop—"
"She's dead! Floydien saw it happen!" he yelled. "All that's left is Nancy Jane! Nancy Jane and no other spit!"
"Duchess Arcanista!" one of the guards yelled, struggling to trot closer.
Several errant beams of electricity splashed past the quadrupeds, setting tree branches and patches of soil on fire.
"What the hell did she say to set him off?!" Josho sputtered.
Zaid ducked low, shivering. "S-something tells me they're not role playing!"
"We gotta put an end to this!" Rainbow grasped Josho. "Hey, slim!"
"What?!"
"You gotta 'port me in there!"
"... ... ...What?!"
"His antlers! They're the only way!"
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boogers." Josho bit onto Rainbow's tail. "Mrmmmf—holff onff to youff ploff!" Fl-Flash!
Milliseconds later, the two of them materialized in the air above Floydien's backside. A random stream of energy knocked Josho in the side, propelling him into the distance.
"Ungh!" He struck a tree, slumping to the ground. "Ty-typical..."
"Oomf!" Rainbow Dash landed on Floydien's back. Reaching forward, she winced from the spray of electical bolts. Nevertheless, her pendant pulsed, and she lunged with a burst of energy. P-Pop! The antlers came off as Rainbow Dash somersaulted through the still air.
Arcanista stood up, rubbing her aching head. She looked up and immediately shrieked at the sight of Floydien's horn-less skull. "Brother!"
"Boh." THUD! Floydien fell to the ground, fast asleep.
"Uhhhhhh..." Rainbow hovered in the air, grasping the still-smoking antlers. "Uhm..." She glanced at Floydien's slumped figure, then at Arcanista's look of horror. "Eh..." She tossed the antlers behind herself (Cl-Clunk!) and dusted her hooves off. "He'll be fiiiiine."
My plot has successfully been twisted.
Here's something I'm scared of: What if this arc ends in Floydien leaving the Jury?
5102699
How... could you suggest that, Swan?
Rainbow Dash, nonchalant as fuck
Huh. ...here i thought removable antlers were normal. Love that final scene.
That would actually be a good thing, simply for the theoretical possibility of, a few stories down the line, King Floydien arriving with the Val Roan expeditionary battlefleet in time to save the day.
What?
5102699
If that happens... Zaid would pilot the Jury, but...
We appear to be inching ever nearer the Choke.
Thirty side-straddle hops, ):(. Knock 'em out!
5102749 Happened with virtually every other homecoming. We lost Elma to it. We almost lost Kera too (and Pilate and Belle) had Shell not intervened.
Not only that, but Floydien has a huge amount of investment here. Family? Citizens that respected him? A lordship? I mean, I get that he left it all behind, but now with the Jury in tow he might be able to change things and go back to the life he was supposed to have. Or maybe even more, especially since it's rapidly starting to look like Val Roa is gonna be home to our primary antagonists for this arc.
For a while I thought we were done with these things, but now we get a surprise slap in the face from Floydien's craziness. I dunno.
You may STARE, but your mind MAY COLLAPSE
Oh, you poor thing. Floydien is the least appreciated member of the Jury, and now that he finally gets characterization what we learn about him breaks my heart.
House of Selhp
That's Sehlp to you, pleb.
5102762
Even if Floyd chose to stay, I don't think he'd be too eager to leave Nancy Jane on the hooves of my namesake...
5102763
If we deny it long enough it may not happen...
Conversely, if we accept the idea, IC could come up with an entirely different outcome.
5102811
Or, you know, the unthinkable could happen. Duke Floyd seems to have many enemies. He'd be lucky to live through this book.
5102822
That's... a farily decent possibility.
We still don't know what really happened to make Floydien leave and end up in Ledomare, there are still many surprises to be had.
I don't want you to go Floyd, but at least you'd reunite with Simon in the grand white expanse beyond...
5102843
And then the jury would have a vacancy for a cervoid storm-mage
No, but really, as much as I'd love for my namesake to be a member of the jury, I think it would be contrary to what characterization she has so far to abandon her duties.
Let's just hope she's a major character for this book, like what'shisface- um, was it Teak who was the crystal marksman? Yeah, something like that would hit the spot.
She certainly seems to be shaping up to be the character they need to help end the corruption of Val Roa.
Silly Zaid. Where will you find the elves with which to make presents?
Almost forgot: the Duchess was not called a cow.
5102762
- Excerpt from Yaerfaerda Chapter 200: "If We All Die, Blame Zaid"
5102868
Well, I'm sure some of those Goblins can be reformed.
5102912
You.
Suck.
So, the elks are supposed to be local nice guys, Ffloydian had a really bad falling out with the controlling council because he didnt want to be a power hungry corrupted tyrant, and yet his speech didnt occur due to the actions of the council? Meanwhile, all elks have lightining wave cannon?
Oh My Faust, the strange flying horse just ripped the Dukes horns off his head.
This is the way the forest ends, not with a bang, but a sizzle? Oh well, at least Rourke will be able to tell where to land.
5102699
5102749
You think this will happen? I don't see it, but now I REALLY wanna know who Midnite Bastion is. Either child or past love is my bet.
Ok so the horns are clearly not meant to come off. Also Duke Floydien, this is interesting, there is one good thing I see from this right away. If the whole (or majority of The) Jury does have to leave Rainbow Dash before she goes into the Dark World (which I'm still skeptical of mind you) they could easily stay in Bountiful as Floydiens' guests/granted citizenship by him (if he can do that) so they would be pretty safe I would say; depending on how things go here.
5102912 This is quoted from somewhere… no… somewhen. It's from a future chapter, isn't it? You went back in time to post this now. If IC doesn't eventually write these words, the time loop shall become unstable and collapse! How I hate time loops.
This is either a massive coincidence or you REALLY did your research.
Pardon me while I continue to freak out.
*jumps and backflips around room for an hour*
...
...
...
*comes back from freaking out* Okay...
Amen to that, stripsey. *sigh* Politics...how tiresome.
Jesus Christ, no wonder Floydien attempted an aerial U-turn and "nope"d the fuck out of that place. I would too if I were manipulated that much by political hacks.
Well...um...nice save, Rainbow?
I jumped up to this chapter. HAIL FROM ORDSJOT STORY CHAPTER 170!
just going to send this quick message (i read nothing here)
i will catch up to you people soon...
heheheheheheheh
5102928 umad?
5102983 Does research of my own… Your character's name from Project Horizons? That is literally the only other occurrence of that name on the entire web apart from this chapter.
5103024 Ch. 170 of Odrsjot? Boy howdy, you're in for a FUN time! Hit us up when you finish.
5103069 The thread says "Project Horizons RP", so it's probably not directly from PH. Anywho, congrats 5102983 ! Your cameo is alive!
5102912
Looks like teach didn't make tenure.
33.media.tumblr.com/4c863cdc9f9efee9da70794dad87cb6a/tumblr_n90q8tBOJg1sxduo6o6_400.jpg
5103024
See ya soon, pardner. Hope you have a nice, relaxing stay in Lerris, where nothing bad ever happens. Seriously, it's picturesque.
5102983
You got #mindshrekd
5103031 But time isn't a line, it's more like a ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff.
Also, please don't take your humour in the comment section meta. It breaks the blogosphere.
Also, I'm surprised that you didn't resurrect Rayvinne.
5102913 Reformed goblins making presents… for some reason that brings to mind the movie The Nightmare before Christmas, where the residents of Halloween Town make Christmas presents. Even if possible, probably not a good idea.
5103135
I'm sure she caught Roarke and they are currently waiting Rainbow Dash on the other side of the plane.
WIth candles and a smooth jazz album on the background.
5103069 5103120
...I keep forgetting how Google makes things easy nowadays.I take that back. Try finding Midnite Bastion tied to me without using the name. Still pretty hard.
RP character, not from Project Horizons, but RP takes place in FoE-verse. Only other appearances are (not by name) in some drivel I wrote for a contest, and miscellaneous arts.
5103174
Also seeing all these Floydien/Arcanista scenes and I just be like
i.imgur.com/Q4ecVzG.jpg
Can you tell that that is one of my favorite things.
5103207
I wonder if Duchess Arcanista has a ship called "the Ascendant" which is an off-color Noble Jury.
Then she and Floyd can go do brother ship hip things together.
5103173
You're just not giving them a chance!
5103238
wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/comicsalliance.com/files/2012/07/xmen14.jpg
Goblins are evil scum. Even if they were not directly responsible for Duke Floyd's disappearance, they are the butchers of thousands of innocent equines. They must be culled. Support the goblin-registration act of Val Roa.
5103236 (These really should be concatenated into one comment, bruh)
I feel like any ship named the Ascendant would be a battleship of similar tonnage to the Steel Wing and Lightning Bearer. It's a fairly martial-sounding name for a battleship.
5103185
Congrats on finally getting to be a part of this grand saga!
5103257
Listen, you just can't generalise an entire race based on the misdeeds of a few.
Sure, they've had a less than stellar record so far, but that doesn't mean they're not capable of good.
We don't know how they got to the way they are now, we don't know the hardships they may have faced, we don't know what drove them to the point of being bandits, and I'm just saying we should at least be willing to give them a chance because that's what Harmony is all about.
We can't just deny them the opportunity to make ammends simply because they've made mistakes and sure, they've hurt people, they've caused a lot of pain to a lot of ponies, and giraffes, and elks and who knows what more, but so have the changelings, and they got a second chance. Why do we deny the goblins the same chance we offered the changelings?
Sure, they were being controlled by an evil Queen, but the point still stands that we don't know anything about the goblins' backstory, and I just think that we should at least give them a chance to redeem themselves in the name of Friendship and Harmony.
A chance to say they're sorry for what they've done.
It's what Rainbow Dash would do.
It's the Harmonious thing to do
...
And they can make us presents if we train them, god damn it.
5103290
But they ALL DESERVE TO DIE
TELL YOU WHY, MRS. LOVETT, TELL YOU WHY
Because in all of the goblin race, Mrs. Lovett, there are two kinds of them and only two-
There's the ones staying put in his proper place
And the other with his foot in the other one's face
Am I the only one who caught this?
Floydien is the new Element of Generosity.
I believe this is not the first time phrases like this have occurred; specifically, Roarke was marked as Honesty IIRC.
Wombo Combo!
Welcome back, Floyd!
5103383
Yeah, she says this, but I'm not sure we have enough to back this up as of now.
And I thought Roarke was supposedly Generosity herself?
5103408 I know I posted preliminary thoughts on this last book. And someone (Jake the Army Guy of Aatxe360 IIRC) suggested Floydien as Generosity.
Current theories posit:
Roarke: Honesty
Floydien: Generosity
RD: Loyalty (possibly Eagle Eye, if RD's deaths caused her to lose the Element)
Bellesmith: Kindness
Zaid? Props?: Laughter
Kera: Magic
5103434
I thought this scene from Innavedr was made to establish her as Generosity?
What surprises me is the long distance that Floydien has been transported. My best guess so far is that the Val Roans sold him into slavery to... whatever did this to him. It's hard to imagine the possibility of Floydien going back to the way he was at all now, it's just been so long.
Hey at least no squirrels went flying this chapter.
5103466 I don't see anything in that passage implying she's Generosity. However, I have seen numerous instances where Roarke can't lie to save her power armor.
5102983
Dude, want to know where Elma came from? One mention of this in November of '13
Several months later, there was a turtle named Elma.
5103494
That series of chapters is all about Roarke putting her neck on the line(When we barely know anything about her other than that she's ludicrously badass) to help Rainbow, Imre, and a bunch of captives for no reason other than her own altruism.
Also, Roarke Most Rare meant something pretty as well.
So here's a theory:
Changelings took over Val Roa. Floydien was acting against what the changelings wanted. They had already infiltrated Nightshade Industries. One drugging/kidnapping later, hide the lack of a body, bada-bing, bada-boom.
5103576 I can see why you might think that about Roarke. However i think it's pretty clear that she's not Generosity. For example, while Roarke was all "You owe me a new manaship," Floydien was giving them free passage on his and has been ever since.
5103851
Just like when Roarke was like, 'I'm going to rip your skull out of your head and beat you to death with it because you insulted my gf' back in Urohringr, we're pretty sure she didn't mean it.
i.lvme.me/60sqsld.jpg