• Published 16th Sep 2014
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Yaerfaerda - Imploding Colon



Rainbow Dash and the Noble Jury continue to fly east.

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Duke Floyd of The City Bountiful

"'Duke Floyd of the House of Sehlp?!'" Rainbow Dash blinked from where she hovered. "With all due respect, madame. Would you mind running that by me again? I've got three legs left to pull."

"It was the name he was born with," Duchess Arcanista said as she strolled along the cobblestone path that surrounded the tall manor. Bellesmith, Pilate, Rainbow, and the Duchess' servants followed close behind. "Since the day of his inheritance, Floyd goverened the village of Bountiful and its surrounding provinces for ten prosperous years. And then, he disappeared."

"And you've been ruling this estate ever since?" Pilate asked.

The Duchess nodded. "As is my noble duty."

"For how long?" Belle asked.

The elk's nostrils flared. "Five years. Going on six."

"Yeesh..." Rainbow glanced at the others. "Just how old is Floydien?"

Arcanista spun and faced the three. "I do not know who this stranger is who bears Floyd's name." Her eyes narrowed. "But if he has made it back to Bountiful, then he is not the same Duke who left."

"Why not?" Belle asked.

Arcanista took a deep breath, staring off into the horizon. "He died."

Belle glanced at Pilate.

Rainbow, however, was leaning forward on flapping wings. "Why... do I get the feeling you're not so certain of this?"

Arcanista's hooves kneaded the path.

"Please." Rainbow smiled hopefully. "We're just trying to connect the dots here. If you are too, then maybe we can help each other, huh?"

"Floyd's death was... the result of several calamitous circumstances, all coming to a head." The elk shuddered in her gown. "I've never been able to feel true closure in his passing. What's more, all connections between the House of Sehlp and the Val Roan High Council certainly haven't recovered, in even five long years."

"Recovered from what?" Pilate asked.

"Madame, if it's not too much for us to ask, perhaps you can tell us what happened."

Arcanista took a deep breath, frowning slightly. "An abridged version will do."

"Hey, that's cool." Rainbow shrugged. "I dig bridges." Belle rolled her eyes.

Arcanista spoke: "When the previous Duke of Sehlp passed away, Floyd was considered too young to properly occupy a seat in the High Council. This, of course, raised no small amount of protest among the populace here in Bountiful. A vote was made to challenge the High Council's legislature—an obscure set of rules that appeared to hold a remarkably striking bias against the first new representative to come from Bountiful in half a century."

"And here we flew over two continents and an ocean in hopes of avoiding evil politics," Pilate said with a smirk.

Belle sighed. "Beloved..."

"Your mate is quite correct," Arcanista said. "As much as I would wish it were otherwise, Val Roa's High Council is anything but a committee of saints. Corruption and greed run deep. If it weren't for the predominating authority of the monarchy, the nation would implode overnight."

"Hah!" Rainbow Dash pointed. "Amen to that, sister!" She smirked down at the others. "I' telling ya! Every kingdom needs a princess!"

"Uhm..." Belle cleared her throat and looked up at Arcanista. "So, Bountiful attempted to challenge the High Council on Floyd's behalf?"

"And, naturally, the Council held up the commission to reexamine the law for months. And when Floyd—young and upset—allowed his furious side to show, the Council took advantage of his actions, deeming him too contemptuous for official representation. Through yet another legistlative loophole, they appointed the duke from a bordering province to act as steward for Bountiful within Val Roa Proper."

"Why not you?"

"They had something to gain in all this," Arcanista said. "With the death of the previous Duke, Val Roa decided to pick Bountiful apart from the outside. The Council would have suceeded if it weren't for the swift actions of Floyd and myself. We took our power inward, lobbying against the influence of the steward, maintaining our trade agreements while staving off aggressive taxation. By the time Floyd finally earned himself a seat in the Council, several years had passed, and Bountiful no longer had the influence it once did. We had been marginalized, stripped clean by interpolitical bureaucracy."

"Yeesh..." Rainbow Dash rubbed her aching skull. "I think I prefer the managliders and battleships..."

"What was it that possessed the Duke to leave?" Pilate asked.

"As the years grew by, Floyd struggled to gain back the glory that once belonged to Bountiful within the kingdom," Arcanista explained. "For months... even years, he remained on the other side of the West Gate. The Council's meddlings made him a virtual stranger to his own subjects. But he was strong... and wise. His loyalty paid out, and soon he was in a place of power that couldn't simply be written away with the stroke of a pen. Naturally, his adversaries within Val Roa decided to cross the line."

"What..." Belle gulped. "Wh-what did they do?"

Arcanista was silent.

The Jurists waited with intense patience.

"They... found a way to manipulate him." Arcanista clenched her jaws. "Virtually overnight, his life was turned upside down. I suspect that someone in the Royal Cabinet intervened on the Council's side."

"You mean someone who worked with the monarchy?" Pilate asked.

Arcanista went on. "Floyd was so distraught from the threats made, that he fled the kingdom. I tried to intervene, to reason with him, but we hadn't crossed paths in months. There was no chance I could catch up to him in time. He abandoned everything here in Bountiful—his possessions, his entire inheritance, even the Noble Crown of Sehlp. He gave up all but one thing—his prized animal, a highly-trained companion he made among the sanctuary here."

"Simon..." Belle said.

Arcanista nodded. "Floyd named the creature himself. He was very good at naming things, he..." Her voice trailed off.

"What... what happened then?" Rainbow asked.

Arcanista sighed. "Duke Floyd's body... was found at the bottom of a ravine west of here, north of the Green Swamps. A Val Roan Royal patrol reported finding his corpse. They say that they found his body riddled with silver bullets—the work of a marauding band of Green Bandits, loyal to the Cartel."

"You sound a heck of a lot angrier then sad," Rainbow said.

"Indeed." Arcanista glanced up, her eyes fiery. "For the Val Roan patrol refused to provide Bountiful with Floyd's body."

"Preposterous!" Belle exclaimed. "He's a Duke from a sovereign province!"

"How in the heck could they get away with that?!"

"They claimed possession of Floyd's will and testament," Arcanista said. "Which purportedly documented his desire to be buried in the high plains of Val Roa Proper."

"Surely you challenged it."

"I attempted to," Arcanista said in an exhausted tone. "But it was clear to me that where Floyd's authority was marginalized, mine was to be virtually nonexistent. I was never allowed to exhume the body. To this day, I still haven't seen the grave."

"Probably because there isn't one," Pilate said.

Arcanista gazed softly at the three. "For years, I accepted Floyd's death as a consequence of Val Roan meddling. Somepony in the High Council decided to do the unthinkable and silence him forever. Since I've become Duchess in his stead, I've been allowed a seat on the Council, but it's a function in name only. The Val Roans seek to make me a puppet, and all of Bountiful in turn."

"You don't have any allies within the kingdom?" Bele asked. "Anypony who could somehow help uncover this conspiracy?"

"You must understand, when Floyd was forced out of the kingdom, I realized the cost of outright challenging a power as supreme as Val Roa's," Arcanista said. "As much as I would like to vindicate the Duke's murder, I've had a duty to the nobles and ponies of Bountiful all the same. If I was to incur the wrath of the Val Roans and suffer the same fate as Floyd, then there's nothing that would stand in the way of a steward or a rival duke from dividing my provinces like piecemeal. For the sake of the peace, I've accepted my fate, and have filled my days these past five years with maintaining harmony in this part of the Continent."

Rainbow Dash squirmed in midair. "Well, jee... I-I'm all for Harmony, but that's one heck of a cost..."

"Indeed." Arcanista hung her head. "My only hope these long, long seasons is that there is some truth that I've yet to understand, and that what I know may in fact still be unraveled further. The possibility that Duke Floyd may still be alive is something that I've held close to my heart for years, but I haven't had any legitimate reason to believe it..." She tilted her face back up, eyes leering. "...until now."

The Jurists gazed back at her.

"This 'Floydien'..." Arcanista took a few bold steps towards the three. "Has he ever spoken of Bountiful or the House of Selhp before?"

"Well... he sp-speaks..." Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck. "But... uhhhhhh... it sure isn't anything you'd understand... or w-want to hear."

Arcanista glared. "Take me to him."


"NOPE!" ZZzzztt! A tree exploded.

"Four hundred and twenty-eight," Josho and Zaid muttered.

"NOPE! Zaaaap! Pebbles scattered through the forest.

"Four hundred and twenty-nine."

"NOPE!" Floydien—frenzied and sweating—spun his antlers once again.

Arcanista stood in his way. She smiled demurely into the sparkling light of his manacharge. "Hello, Floyd."

"...!" Floydien froze in place, grimacing. He panted and panted and gulped.

Josho and Zaid jumped up to their hooves, glancing between the two elk. They turned and looked at Rainbow Dash, who hovered above two reindeer guards in armored uniform.

"Whoah!" Zaid did a double-take. "Just five more and we can deliver presents around the world!"

"Not the time, pal," Rainbow muttered.

"Uhm..." Josho shuffled over and murmured into the pegasus' ear. "Who's Floydien's cross-dressing doppelganger?"

"That is Duchess Arcanista of the House of Selhp."

"Gesundheit." Josho's brow furrowed as the dust from Floydien's manablasts finally settled around them. "But what in the heck is she gonna do with our pilot?"

"Make things a whole lot more interesting. Shhhh." Rainbow motioned them to listen, then craned her neck.

Arcanista took a few courageous steps towards Floydien. "A part of me didn't want to believe that you were still breathing, because I was too afraid to see who... or what you would become, to have survived the calamity of the High Council so." She tilted her head to the side with a soft smile. "But now, I understand that you need me now more than ever. Please, brother, tell me what's happened to you."

Floydien seethed, hissed, and barked: "Frilly boomer! Spit somewhere else! Floydien needs only to dash the shimmer! Yes yes yesss!"

Arcanista's ears drooped. After a few seconds of utter shock, she frowned. "This... is not the work of Val Roa..."

"Nrnnnngh!" Floydien spun and fired an electrical blast at a wall of earth, sending rocky chunks rattling all over.

Instinctively, Rainbow Dash flew forward.

One of the guards held her by her tail.

"Dude!" Rainbow stammered. "She's right in the thick of it—!"

"The Honorable Duchess can handle this," one reindeer said. "More than the rest of us combined."

Rainbow blinked at him, then bit her lip as she watched the exchange from afar.

"Floyd... brother..." Arcanista rested a hoof on his side. "Why so much wrath? So much anger—?"

"Raaaugh!" Floydien shoved her back. "Spit elsewhere!" He heaved and heaved. "So many boomers want Floydien's shimmers! They want Floydien's Nancy Jane! But they never... want... Floydien!"

"These are honorable ponies, Floydien," Arcanista said, gesturing back at Rainbow, Zaid, and Josho. "It's obvious that they care for you. They know as I do that—no matter how lost you may be—Duke Floyd does not exercise his generosity blindly." She stepped closer. "I know you to be a good ruler. A kind ruler."

"Stop... sp-spitting!" He howled in her face. "You shuffle shuffle beyond the glimmer veil! No boomer knows Floydien! Only Floydien knows Floydien! So let me be Floydien!" He twirled once again, antlers brimming with elecricity.

Without warning, Arcanista thrust her head forward. Two fixed points on her skull sparked with energy, surging blue bolts into the husk of a tree and exploding it from deep within.

"Gaaah!" Zaid flinched.

"Holy horse balls..." Josho shuddered.

Floydien blinked. His twitching eyes darted to Arcanista.

She smiled. "Taught me everything you know." She let loose an airy laugh. "See what I said, Floyd? Generous."

"Wait..." Rainbow Dash gawked. "You mean all elks can do the zap-thingy?"

Arcanista turned and gave her a graceful look. "Our ancestors didn't become rulers of Bountiful solely for their good looks..."

"It makes no difference to Floydien," the pilot hissed, backing away from the Duchess. "Floydien has had his fill of stabby stabs! They take the form of every boomer they like! Even boomers that Floydien trusts can become stabby-stabs!" He stomped his hooves. "Floydien does not care for boomer's shimmer! Floydien only needs Nancy Jane and the wind wind!"

"Will you tell me about these 'stabby-stabs?'" Arcanista asked, face awash with concern. "Were they the ones who... turned you into this?"

"No no no!" Floydien shook his head, clenching his teeth. "Enough with the spit! Boomer should shove shove before Floydien gives the boom!"

"Floyd," Arcanista said, staring into his eyes. "Midnite Bastion is alive."

Floydien's features paled. He stared at his sibling with twitching, pinprick eyes. Then—starting with a rising growl—he lunged, thrusting his antlers forward at full-spark. "Hraaa-aaaaaaaaaaaugh!"

FLASSSSH!

Arcanista stood her ground. She aimed her skull against the splashing bolts of electricity. Though she initially absorbed the violent blast, her face strained, and her hooves dug backwards through the disturbed soil.

The guards flinched around the Jurists, reaching for their scimitars.

"Liar!" Floydien hollered. "Lying spit boomer! Floydien will hash hash you to dust dust!"

"This... is... m-more power... th-than I anticipated..." Arcanista stammered amidst her strain. "Brother... you... m-must stop—"

"She's dead! Floydien saw it happen!" he yelled. "All that's left is Nancy Jane! Nancy Jane and no other spit!"

"Duchess Arcanista!" one of the guards yelled, struggling to trot closer.

Several errant beams of electricity splashed past the quadrupeds, setting tree branches and patches of soil on fire.

"What the hell did she say to set him off?!" Josho sputtered.

Zaid ducked low, shivering. "S-something tells me they're not role playing!"

"We gotta put an end to this!" Rainbow grasped Josho. "Hey, slim!"

"What?!"

"You gotta 'port me in there!"

"... ... ...What?!"

"His antlers! They're the only way!"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boogers." Josho bit onto Rainbow's tail. "Mrmmmf—holff onff to youff ploff!" Fl-Flash!

Milliseconds later, the two of them materialized in the air above Floydien's backside. A random stream of energy knocked Josho in the side, propelling him into the distance.

"Ungh!" He struck a tree, slumping to the ground. "Ty-typical..."

"Oomf!" Rainbow Dash landed on Floydien's back. Reaching forward, she winced from the spray of electical bolts. Nevertheless, her pendant pulsed, and she lunged with a burst of energy. P-Pop! The antlers came off as Rainbow Dash somersaulted through the still air.

Arcanista stood up, rubbing her aching head. She looked up and immediately shrieked at the sight of Floydien's horn-less skull. "Brother!"

"Boh." THUD! Floydien fell to the ground, fast asleep.

"Uhhhhhh..." Rainbow hovered in the air, grasping the still-smoking antlers. "Uhm..." She glanced at Floydien's slumped figure, then at Arcanista's look of horror. "Eh..." She tossed the antlers behind herself (Cl-Clunk!) and dusted her hooves off. "He'll be fiiiiine."

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