A Shy Moment in Love

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Comments ( 15 )

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goaway

goaway #1 · Aug 7th, 2014 · · ·

Oh, they'll have a pot of tea, a bit of a chat, and go home, right?

Mudkipman98

Mudkipman98 #2 · Aug 7th, 2014 · · ·

Good, but the spelling and grammar really does cripple this story. I left a like because I enjoyed it, but their romance could've been handled better, if just for a few improved conversations and better conveyance of opinions to each other. Also, there are several points where Fluttershy is out of character, mostly due to how forward she is in her advances. This would be okay if you had written in her thought processes before making these choices. If a character is going to act "out of character", then make sure that you explain why by using their inner voices and by showing how they arrived at a logical conclusion.

Pen Quill

Pen Quill #3 · Aug 7th, 2014 · · ·

4815762 i did realize I wrote out of character for Fluttershy, and i had intended to clear that all up in the end with Macintosh asking a question, I dropped the ball at 4am. I'll go back in and clear up all the mistakes and such

Redfirefly8895

Redfirefly8895 #4 · Aug 7th, 2014 · · ·

Pen Quill

Pen Quill #5 · Aug 7th, 2014 · · ·

4815762 I know the revised version still isn't the best of work as many people are used to, I'm still working on perfecting the art of writing

Mudkipman98

Mudkipman98 #6 · Aug 8th, 2014 · · ·

4815801 thanks. And thanks for spending the time writing it. :)

Pen Quill

Pen Quill #7 · Aug 8th, 2014 · 1 · ·

4817815 I enjoy writing stories, whether it be clopfic, horror, or a sappy love story. Writing is something that gives me a peace of mind, something to do when I just need to take a break and clear my head.

Pen Quill

Pen Quill #8 · Aug 8th, 2014 · · ·

i need to write more clop, these stories have gotten more attention in 1 day than my other stories have in almost a year

GameQubb

GameQubb #9 · Nov 18th, 2014 · 1 · ·

I have never read a more heartwarming clop in my life until now, I was wrong, it turns out that FlutterMac is one of the best ships to exist

Adda le Blue

Adda le Blue #10 · Nov 18th, 2014 · 2 · 3 ·

4818344
That way lies feature-baiting and just being an asshole in general. Write what you want, Follow your heart, not the audience. Don't sell out for five minutes of internet fame. I didn't read the story and doubt I will - mindless clop doesn't often do it for me - so I can't say whether you're a good writer or not, but if you want to be one, then practice your craft, not your O face.

Pen Quill

Pen Quill #11 · Nov 19th, 2014 · · ·

5285809 I wouldn't say I'm a great writer or even a good one at that. But if you'd wish to see where my true passion in writing lies then look at God of Chaos or Silent Ponyville: Homecoming

DemonPoneh

DemonPoneh #12 · Feb 9th, 2015 · 1 · ·

Can there be follow up and flutters dose get pregent....

Pen Quill

Pen Quill #13 · Feb 20th, 2015 · · ·

5604235 I've been gone for almost a year, abandoned a few projects, but I am back. So to answer your question, it was originally a one-shot story with no real plan of a sequel. Seeing that this story did get a lot of views and likes, I might change my mind in the future. Right now though, I am working on TRYING to finish Silent Ponyville: Homecoming. So to answer your question, I'm not saying there won't be a sequel, but I can't for sure say that there will be a sequel at the moment.

Warlord1911D1