- Member Since 28th Sep, 2012
- offline last seen Oct 31st, 2020
zyr1987
I'm Zyr1987 (Rhymes with sir) and I'm currently the only person to write stories about Fleur de Lis to any great extent. I also ship extensively and have been taking to combining the two in my stories
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I like it. S'good chapter.
Not necessarily a bad fic, just uninteresting clop.
This is written like how clop with plot would be, except there's far too little plot or clop.
Try to be a bit more descriptive with longer scenes if you're going for normal no-plot clop.
If you're going for some actual plot… you've written enough of that to know.
I know EXACTLY how you feel^^ if i'd write all the stories i have in mind i'd do nothing but write all day^^
You dont like Fleur being shown as a prostitute? then maybe you should give Syncopation a read^^ be warned though, it takes a whie until she showed up^^
Well, this was an interesting read^^ Im curious to see how the week goes on^^ Though im kinda wondering where the mind control part is. (This fic IS listed in the group Hypnosis and Mind Control after all) Hope its not just that small spell Cadance had on the letter but even if thats it im okay with it^^ This seems to be an interesting enough story without that feature^^ Still wouldnt mind to see more of it^^
Done being dumb about not reading comments (Hopefully. It's a recurring flaw of mine that I'm trying to fix)
4862397 Thanks
4866951 I do admit, your criticisms have merit, though, as I said, I'm still figuring all this out, which is the source of the issues you described. I admit, I could have gone much more on the plot but I really wasn't sure quite where I was going (and what I should do with the other characters, which itself forced a certain amount of vagueness), possibly because I got too focused on the clop (which I'm extremely inexperienced writing) than the plot and my beige writing style let me down. it's something I intend to resolve in the future, though. I do have several ideas to add some plot depth that I can utilize.
4883813 Thanks for the suggestion. It looks interesting, even though I never was a fan of Octascratch shipping.
4883896 I'm going to guess that the addition to the mind-control group had something to do with the letter at the beginning, since it had a spell to make the otherwise shy Fluttershy more receptive to the idea. I didn't add it to that group, though, so I really don't know. Mind control+sex feels too rape-y to me, though so mind control will be limited to that, however.
4888837 Well, the shipping is only somethig that happens on the side^^ Granted it is the main ship of the fic but it definitely isnt a pure ship fic^^ If you want a good read (as well as a good laugh) you should give it a chance^^
*waits for next chapter*
As for the mind control thing, I can respect that^^ You still caught my interest so I'll keep reading this fic^^ Curious to see what else you have planned for it^^
Interested to see where this goes... I am also very inexperienced at writing Clop, but I do seem to be decent at it. Some advice for writing it is to read a lot of it, then you'll get a better idea of what people will expect to see. Something else is to be as descriptive as possible, but not down to the scientific level.
Anyway, hope this goes well. I'll definitely be keeping an eye on it!
-Devs
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you have piqued my curiosity, I must see where this is going
You don't make the wife of A DIPLOMAT a whore!!!!1!!1111 even a high class one! But since you have keep it up I like what I've read so far
5307174 As I said, I'm not proud of the fact that I turned a fine character like Fleur de Lis into a prostitute. I hate the characterization myself, but the idea refused to leave my head, and it's good practice for a more tasteful clopfic between the two. BTW, don't expect the next chapter anytime soon, since I'm unconfident in the sex scene thus far (though I think I just need to go into more detail) and generally lazy (and I have to be in a certain mindset for writing clop scenes). It is being written, just slowly.
THE gold question.
WHY THEY DIDNT INVITED SPIKE!?!?!?
LET ME REMIND YOU THAT IT WAS SPIKE THE ONE WHO SAVED THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE AND THAT SPIKE IS BASICALLY THE HERO TO ALL OF THE CRYSTAL PONIES AND THEY DIDNT INVITE SPIKE AS A REWARD POR SAVING THE F*****G EMPIRE!!!
5496733 (sorry for taking so long to respond)
He is a baby dragon, and that colored my judgment in including him. Maybe he'll be rewarded when he's older, though?
I liked it as well and its weird why spike didn't come as well. but anyhoof it is sweet that fluttershy is being treated like the queen she is
This is dead?
😯