Just A Simple Story

by Nonagon

After the Story

Celestia was silent for a long time. Twilight was completely still, and Celestia was almost prepared to leave until her student spoke. "Princess?"

"Yes, Twilight?"

"Disaster's brand... what did it look like?"

Celestia rose sharply. "It didn't look like anything, Twilight," she said. "It was only a story."

"But-"

"Let it go, Twilight. It's nothing but a foolish old pony's tale."

Twilight was silent for a long while again. "I know that," she said at last. "But I don't feel that you've told me all of it."

They waited again, measuring one another's silence. "I have a book," Celestia said, "of other stories from that time period. When your eyes have recovered, would you be interested in reading it?"

But Twilight did not answer. In fact, she would say nothing more at all until she awoke the following morning. When the book arrived, she did not know why it had been sent.

Comments

[Berry Punch]

This was different. A good different though.

[Triaxx2]

Interesting...

[digital_light]

i approve of this and all head cannon there of.

[Vexy]

I feel that this is symbolic, but the symbolism goes straight over my head.

I loved it.

[Zocarik]

I feel that the author is implying that Disaster's brand is Twilight's mark. I approve of this idea.

[JawJoe]

My student, who is but a mere child, is sick. Better tell her a bedtime story of rape and murder.

[Thorai]

Simply

[blank check]

Just a simple story.

Color me skeptical.

[pinkiepie4th]

Wow, that was very interesting. You write some of the best short stories ever

[AcademicPony]

4772721

I feel that this is symbolic, but the symbolism goes straight over my head.

Likewise. It does a very nifty job of capturing the tone of European legends, but isn't copying the structure. Those legends are usually either cautionary tales ("don't do X or you'll die horribly/suffer horribly") or stories of a hero doing Mighty Deeds (which may or may not be distortions or allegories of historical wars/events). This comes across as half of a cautionary tale (missing the "don't do X" or "perform placating ritual Y to avoid dying" part).

This one is a little bit like some of the Greek legends (squabbles amongst the gods), but those legends usually have a point along the lines of "and that's how X was killed" or "meet Y, your new boss via killing the old boss". I'm having trouble understanding what this legend, by contrast, is trying to say to the listener.

That said, still a great job copying the tone.

Nonagon, are all of us missing something, or is the story just a hook to get Twilight interested in other legends?

[Nonagon]

5613725
Celestia's story has multiple interpretations. That is one of them. Other versions depend on how you answer the following questions:
1. Who is Disaster?
2. Who are his children?
3. Why is Celestia telling this story now?

It's also based on a story that was told to me a long time ago.

[AcademicPony]

5613805
I'd wondered if it was an allusion to or origin story for Discord, or if it was shaping up to be a "where the Royal Pony Sisters came from" story, but both of those seem to be a bit of a stretch. If anything, it seems like an allegory for Discord (or small-D discord) causing strife amongst ponykind (as alluded to by the names of the children). But that ignores the cliff-hanger, and "Just-So Stories" of that type usually have an explicit "and that's where X came from" wrap-up, so I don't have confidence in that interpretation being correct either.

Of the options offered so far, Zocarik's seems the most plausible, but that's less due to the legend's structure and more due to "conservation of detail" narrative tropes ("we're mentioning X because X will be important a few chapters from now").

So, still lost. It's fine if you want to keep it mysterious; that sense of mystery seems to be driving most of the comments on the story, so you're obviously doing something right.

[cleverpun]

I wrote a critique/review of this story; it can be found over here.

[Papa Dragon]

This was good

[PresentPerfect]

Huh. I feel something has been left out, for all that this is obviously meant to make the reader think and question what they've just read.

Mostly, I just want to know more about this magical disease. XD

[Seer]

Excellent piece, you smashed it mate