• Member Since 21st Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Jet Cannon


I came here to read awesome stories, post mediocre ones, and chew gum. And I'm all out of gum. Well, actually, I never had any gum in the first place, but you get the idea.

E

16/6/20 EDIT: Cancelled. I don't have any more idea of where this is going than I did all those years ago. May or may not revisit.

No biggie. Just trying to chat up the living embodiment of the sun. What could go wrong?

Twilight has finally gathered the courage to confess herself to the stallion she loves, the stallion who is ultimately responsible for every good thing to come her way in life.

Now if only it were simple to do so.


Partially R63 alternate universe, most things are the same otherwise (like, basically everything!).
Cover is a cropped version of this picture right here.
Mention should also go to Bud Grazer for running his eyes over it before I published.

21/12/15: Chapter 1 has been edited a little, in line with hopefully adding in a Chapter 2 soon!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 52 )

Enjoyable thus far..

4523099 Praise indeed. :trollestia:
4523114 Yes, give me your tears... :pinkiecrazy:

4523648 Sorry, I tend to hold off full praise until I get a long taste of the world you're building. Still a promising beginning

Oh wow. You actually made me sad for Twilight. TWILESTIA IN EVERY SENCE OF THE WORD IS GRAND! CONTINUE GOOD SIR! (Why don't they have a luna emoticon? She is literally more favorable than Applejack!)

Yay, it's out! :yay:
So, when's the next chapter?

4525377 Let's tentatively say in about a week? :twilightsheepish:

4524192 Regardless of our opinions on Miss Apple, I do certainly agree that there should be a Luna emote. :eeyup:

Thank you for your support thus far. :pinkiesmile:

R63 needs more love! :rainbowkiss:
Although would rather Dusk X Celestia. :trollestia:

4526226 I'm sorry to disappoint you, then. :trollestia:

I'm wondering if the one maid wanted to date Solaris and is just mad she can't get him, because that seemed unusually petty...

4527378 Welp, he and his bro are pretty much the most desirable stallions ever, so who knows? There may well be a degree of jealousy involved... :eeyup:

Ah excuse me, but..

This fic is Twilight x R63 Celestia?

4528967 Well it was half and half I was wondering at the end who the heck he might like. Still not sure whats going on but looks like shit is gonna hit several fans and get flung into other fans which cascade into more and more fans.

You know, the icing on the pain-cake should be that Solaris is gay for his brother. Twilight would DIE.

4532332 :rainbowlaugh: Made me snort, that did!
Y'know, I'm almost tempted now. Who knows, bonus alt-ending just für teh lulz? :scootangel:

4532868 0.0


YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO THAT FOR AN ALTERNATE ENDING!!!

Looks promising so far. At the risk of sounding dramatic... You have my attention.

Great story Jet Cannon!

I shall fave and wait for next chapter you have my like from me, two if i could.

This story dead? Because I really wanna see more of where this is going

4606893 It's not dead, I am just braindead right now. :facehoof:

4607962 ahhhhhh the worst well I will be faithfully waiting for the next update:raritystarry:

I truly am enjoying this story. I do hope it's not dead!:twilightsmile:

5328833 Oh believe me, so do I... :facehoof:

Hot damn, first chapter and I can already tell this is going in the 'Best of Fimfiction' shelf too

Oh my. Oh my goodness.
*tracking*

5582039 Always relevant.:rainbowlaugh:

Never have I found a r63 story with Twilight and Solaris shipped. All of my yes to this story. :yay:

I just hope I can see more soon. :duck:

5717352 Thus were my thoughts in its inception, and similarly when I published the first chapter... :pinkiecrazy::facehoof:

when will you add a new chapter?

6351775 I would very much like to answer that question in a helpful fashion, but I'm just not sure I'm afraid. Stuck. :facehoof:

Is super awesome

You have one of the biggiest wrighters block or you are caught up with school stuff

6739616 Most assuredly the former, with some terminal procrastinatoritis thrown in for good measure. :applejackunsure:

I can't wait until you write another chapter please write another soon

6847952 I can't wait until I stop being crap at this "doing stuff" thing... :rainbowlaugh::raritydespair:

6848534 I lack inspiration. And will. It makes me sad.

How about you write a chapter that is the maids apologize profusely while Solaris, like Celestia would do forgives them in the beginning and then after that it switches to twilight in her room crying with Spike going up to her room to call her down for breakfast (this is assuming they live in the library) but before he knocks he hears her crying and asks what's wrong. If you want more inspiration then you can just reply to this comment with something along the lines of "Tell me more"

6849677 Not really the direction I had intended, but we'll see what happens. Thanks anyway.

I'll be here if you need help also I would like to know the gist of what direction you intended to go unless you're uncomfortable with telling me or think it should be a surprise

6851147 I'd like what jetman24 thought how the next chapter is going to be. But when I was reading the first chapter I thought that chapter 2 would be something else because of something you had in chapter one. Like with the part were one of the maids said

“I’m talking about the Bearers of the Elements!” Twilight’s eyes widened. “He spent almost the entire evening in their company, and it’s ever since then that he’s been this way. I should know: I helped serve at the party.”

as well as

1
1 - You Might Get Burned
Everything was fine.
“Psst, hey, look at the Princess!”
Everything was going to be just fine.
“Oh, wow, she looks really great! Wonder what’s going on?”
There was nothing to be concerned about, no reason to worry, and all the castle staff she passed (and certainly couldn’t hear whispering) were probably just looking at something behind her.
“Beats me. Whoever she’s going to see is in for a treat, though.”
They were whispering about somepony else, some other mare who just so happened to be dressed up for the night, and they wouldn’t be drawing any assumptions about what she herself was up to, no sir.
“Yeah, somepony’s getting some leg tonight for sure!”
Princess Twilight Sparkle strode purposefully, although more quickly, along the passages and corridors, her poise absolutely impeccable and her face determinedly neutral. She wore no fancy dress or sharp suit, although she did wear her full royal accoutrements for a change. These had been polished and buffed to a magnificent shine, and the jewels of her crown could be seen to perfectly compliment the colours of her mane.
“Oh my gosh, will you look at that getup!”
“Oooh, I wish I could get my mane like that!”
Her mane itself had been arranged in a simple but stylish bun, and held in place with an antique diamond hairpin. The pin and ‘do were a gift from Rarity, who had also been on hoof to supply her expertise with makeup. A dab of deep purple lipstick, matching eye shadow, just enough mascara to make Twilight’s eyelashes stand out, and a light brush of rouge on her cheeks for the finishing touch.
Twilight smiled to herself as she remembered the scene, not a half-hour beforehoof:
“Et voila!” Rarity cried in triumph, pointing for Twilight to observe her reflection in the room’s bureau, which she did with no shortage of amazement.
“There you are, darling: striking without looking ridiculous, which a sadly high number of mares these days cannot differentiate between. The point is to bring out the best that’s already there, not to try and create something that isn’t. Now, you shall need your privacy and I shall need to get along to Fancy Pants’ fundraiser, but I wish you the best of luck and I have every confidence in you. Go get him!”
Her mind returning to the present, she realised that she was getting close. Soon she would be leaving the public areas of the castle, and moving into the private section containing the quarters of the two princes who actually lived here. With this in mind, she quickly called upon the phrase she had thought up to try and assuage her nervousness:
Okay Twilight, you can do this. Just one hoof in front of the other, nothing to it.
Repeating this mantra in her head as she walked, Twilight made her way along the final public corridor. Each step had been memorised long ago, as she envisaged and acted out her task during ‘trial runs’. It had to be perfect. She had to be ready.
With each step, each padding of a gilded hoof across the plush red carpet in the middle of the passage, her heart rate rose just a little. She was simultaneously excited, terrified, nauseous, and countless other feelings even her extensive vocabulary couldn’t begin to describe. Because she was going to do it. She was going to tell him.
She had spent years hiding her thoughts, her feelings, her true desires from all but herself, but no more! She was a grown mare, a saviour of the land, and now a princess to boot! She could do this!
As she entered the correct wing at last, images of previous visits flashed through her mind. Though she was no longer the curious little filly she used to be, exploring the castle with Smarty Pants at her side, she still couldn’t help but feel a sense of awe as she gazed upon the grand paintings, the exquisite tapestries, and all the other wonders that lined the walls. To say nothing of the pony who resided within these very rooms.
Then she had arrived. One door stood between her and her objective. All it would take now was to raise her hoof and knock, and he would open the door, and then...
She swallowed. He would invite her inside, and she might hem and haw for a few moments, but then she would confess to him. Tell him, at last, that she loved him and she always had, and that nothing would make her happier than to spend the rest of their considerable lives in each other’s company.
No biggie. Just trying to chat up the living embodiment of the sun. What could go wrong?
She swallowed again. One last-minute personal examination revealed that her mane was still perfectly coiffed and in its place, her coat was smooth and silky, the royal jewellery she wore was properly arranged, and her makeup remained intact. A smile flickered briefly across her face as the phrase ‘my body is ready’ flashed through her mind, before it was summarily banished to the recesses of her mind and imprisoned there. Now was not the time for levity.
Her hoof rose from the ground, almost of its own volition, and it hung for a second, poised and ready.
Ok... Here goes.
Three sharp taps echoed through the corridor, followed by a fourth as Twilight’s hoof was brought back to the floor with nervy forcefulness. She held her breath, listening for his hoofsteps in total silence, and was taken aback when the door opened without any warning.
She looked up as she took a readying breath, only for there to be nothing to see. She looked back down to her own eye level, and was quite surprised to be faced with a salmon-pink unicorn mare with a magenta mane, dressed in a maid’s uniform. The maid seemed quite surprised to see her too, but was still able to recover more quickly.
“How can I help you, your Highness?” she asked politely, curtseying as she did. Twilight let out the breath she was holding, and coughed sheepishly before asking:
“Um, I don’t suppose Prince Solaris is here?”
“No, ma’am, Prince Solaris is with Prince Artemis in his chambers at the moment. He went along about half an hour ago, though I don’t know when he means to return.”
Twilight cursed silently, and hung her head in embarrassment and frustration.
I get myself all psyched up and he’s not even here?
“Would you like me to say you called?” the maid asked, looking slightly concerned.
“No! I mean,” Twilight coughed, and tried to mask her disappointment for the time being. “That won’t be necessary, thank you. I’ll just... catch him another time.”
“If you’re sure, my lady.”
“Yes, thank you.” The maid bowed and then stepped back, closing the door as she did so.
Now what?
This was indeed a problem. She could always drop by Artemis’ chambers and ask to see Solaris, but... No. No, she couldn’t do that, not without completely disrupting whatever matters the brothers were talking about. Plus she really wanted to get him alone, and when he didn’t have anything else on his mind. She was quite sure he would make the time for her regardless of prior commitments, but she tried to avoid breaking his schedule whenever possible. She wasn’t a foal anymore; she didn’t need constant attention like she did back then.
She sighed, resolved to having to wait. But wait where? Teleporting was not an option in case it messed up her ‘do. She was flustered enough already just from the walk from her rooms, and couldn’t face the return trip quite yet. Furthermore, if she left now then she would have to face all the ponies she had passed on the way here, again. All of whom had indeed been staring, probably because she looked, quite frankly, like a filly dressed up for a fancy date. Which, admittedly, she was.
Twilight needed somewhere more secluded to spend the intervening time, somewhere close at hoof and out of the public eye. Then her mind struck gold: Solaris’ study! It was private, had comfy chairs, and more importantly it had lots of books she could read in the intervening time before he got back. It was just what she needed!
Twilight clapped her hooves together excitedly, and then dropped them quickly and looked around, sighing in gladness for the hallway being empty. She turned around to cross the hall... only to realise that the study was apparently being cleaned as well.
Oh come on! That was the perfect plan!
The door was slightly ajar, and Twilight saw as a maid passed by on the other side, feather duster floating in a cloud of magic. Twilight might have just given up at that point and gone back to her rooms anyway, but she happened to hear what the maid was saying as she went:
“The Prince has been in a strange mood for the past few days.” Apparently there was a second maid in there too, and she responded after a second’s pause.
“What do you mean? Strange in what way?” Curious, Twilight crept closer and quickly cast a listening spell, as she wanted to remain hidden behind the door.
“He’s been acting very out of sorts ever since Prince Artemis’ birthday party at the weekend: sighing to himself, gazing wistfully out of the window, sighing to himself whilst gazing out of the window in a wistful fashion...”
“Sounds as though he’s being distracted by something, then,” the other maid said disinterestedly, accompanied by the sounds of a surface being thoroughly wiped.
“Yes, or somepony,” the first maid said, relish practically dripping from her words. The sounds of wiping stopped, and Twilight was quick to cover her mouth with a hoof before she gasped. She quickly fought down the urge to panic and went back to listening; who knew what the whole story might be?
“Violet...” the second maid replied, sounding unimpressed.
“I’m serious, Marigold!” Violet cried, as though this was an unfair manner to respond to her juicy scoop.
“Alright then, who is it? And how do you know?” It was clear from her tone that Marigold had yet to be convinced, although this didn’t quite calm Twilight’s nerves.
“I know because, despite what you may think, it’s obvious: a colt in love is a colt in love, even when said colt is thousands of years old and raises the sun as part of his day job,” Violet replied, with a sneer so obvious it could be felt through the door.
“Pfft, whatever you say. I’m paid to be a maid, not a psychoanalyst. Who is it, then?”
“I don’t know for sure, but I have a good idea. You remember what VIPs came to Prince Artemis’ party?”
“Lady Chatterneigh?”
“Yes, but no. Think celebrities.”
“Photo Finish?”
“Try again.”
“Sapphire Shores?”
“And again.”
“Spitfire?”
“You’re not very good at this, are you?”
“Who says I’m not winding you up?”
“Just guess again!”
“... Fancy Pants?”
“What? No!” Twilight could almost feel the maid facehoof through the door.
“I’m talking about the Bearers of the Elements!” Twilight’s eyes widened. “He spent almost the entire evening in their company, and it’s ever since then that he’s been this way. I should know: I helped serve at the party.” Twilight’s spirits briefly lifted.
Ever since he spent time with us at the party? Ever since he spent time with... me?
“So it’s Princess Twilight, then, big surprise. About time she made a move.” Twilight started, her heart thundering in her chest and her stomach sinking to the ground.
They knew I liked him?!
“Oh please, Princess Twilight? Not a chance in Tartarus.” And just like that, Twilight felt as if she had been struck across the face.
...it’s not me?
“That’s not a very nice thing to say, Violet,” Marigold said, chidingly.
“Well, it’s true though, isn’t it? After all these years I think Prince Solaris is the only one who doesn’t know how she feels, she hides it so well around him. The idea that she’d somehow drum up the courage to say something, with all those ponies around, is ridiculous.”
Twilight couldn’t move. She didn’t want to hear another word, yet as the tears started rolling down her cheeks she found herself rooted to the spot, desperately hoping for some kind of light at the end of this dark tunnel.
“Your unkind words aside, exactly how do you know it wasn’t the Princess who caught Solaris’ eye, if any of this really happened anyway? She was there, wasn’t she? She spent time with him, surely?”
Yes! Yes I did! Oh please oh please oh please...
“Yeah, but only for a little bit. She had to keep running off to make sure something or other was ‘going according to plan’.” Twilight brought her hooves up to her face and screwed her eyes tight shut, trying to hold back the soft sobs rising in her throat.

From reading all that Twilight will run all the way back to ponyville and cry her heart out. And when her friends go to her to chear her up. Maybe say somthing like. "There is no way he will like me because he likes one of you!" And after Twilight saids that the other members of the main 6 will get made at Solaris for braking Twilight's heart and wants to get pay back. As well as find out which one of them he likes. I don't even think Solaris would even know what happen until chapter 3 unless you make chapter 2 really long beacues of this part of chapter one

1
1 - You Might Get Burned
Everything was fine.
“Psst, hey, look at the Princess!”
Everything was going to be just fine.
“Oh, wow, she looks really great! Wonder what’s going on?”
There was nothing to be concerned about, no reason to worry, and all the castle staff she passed (and certainly couldn’t hear whispering) were probably just looking at something behind her.
“Beats me. Whoever she’s going to see is in for a treat, though.”
They were whispering about somepony else, some other mare who just so happened to be dressed up for the night, and they wouldn’t be drawing any assumptions about what she herself was up to, no sir.
“Yeah, somepony’s getting some leg tonight for sure!”
Princess Twilight Sparkle strode purposefully, although more quickly, along the passages and corridors, her poise absolutely impeccable and her face determinedly neutral. She wore no fancy dress or sharp suit, although she did wear her full royal accoutrements for a change. These had been polished and buffed to a magnificent shine, and the jewels of her crown could be seen to perfectly compliment the colours of her mane.
“Oh my gosh, will you look at that getup!”
“Oooh, I wish I could get my mane like that!”
Her mane itself had been arranged in a simple but stylish bun, and held in place with an antique diamond hairpin. The pin and ‘do were a gift from Rarity, who had also been on hoof to supply her expertise with makeup. A dab of deep purple lipstick, matching eye shadow, just enough mascara to make Twilight’s eyelashes stand out, and a light brush of rouge on her cheeks for the finishing touch.
Twilight smiled to herself as she remembered the scene, not a half-hour beforehoof:
“Et voila!” Rarity cried in triumph, pointing for Twilight to observe her reflection in the room’s bureau, which she did with no shortage of amazement.
“There you are, darling: striking without looking ridiculous, which a sadly high number of mares these days cannot differentiate between. The point is to bring out the best that’s already there, not to try and create something that isn’t. Now, you shall need your privacy and I shall need to get along to Fancy Pants’ fundraiser, but I wish you the best of luck and I have every confidence in you. Go get him!”
Her mind returning to the present, she realised that she was getting close. Soon she would be leaving the public areas of the castle, and moving into the private section containing the quarters of the two princes who actually lived here. With this in mind, she quickly called upon the phrase she had thought up to try and assuage her nervousness:
Okay Twilight, you can do this. Just one hoof in front of the other, nothing to it.
Repeating this mantra in her head as she walked, Twilight made her way along the final public corridor. Each step had been memorised long ago, as she envisaged and acted out her task during ‘trial runs’. It had to be perfect. She had to be ready.
With each step, each padding of a gilded hoof across the plush red carpet in the middle of the passage, her heart rate rose just a little. She was simultaneously excited, terrified, nauseous, and countless other feelings even her extensive vocabulary couldn’t begin to describe. Because she was going to do it. She was going to tell him.
She had spent years hiding her thoughts, her feelings, her true desires from all but herself, but no more! She was a grown mare, a saviour of the land, and now a princess to boot! She could do this!
As she entered the correct wing at last, images of previous visits flashed through her mind. Though she was no longer the curious little filly she used to be, exploring the castle with Smarty Pants at her side, she still couldn’t help but feel a sense of awe as she gazed upon the grand paintings, the exquisite tapestries, and all the other wonders that lined the walls. To say nothing of the pony who resided within these very rooms.
Then she had arrived. One door stood between her and her objective. All it would take now was to raise her hoof and knock, and he would open the door, and then...
She swallowed. He would invite her inside, and she might hem and haw for a few moments, but then she would confess to him. Tell him, at last, that she loved him and she always had, and that nothing would make her happier than to spend the rest of their considerable lives in each other’s company.
No biggie. Just trying to chat up the living embodiment of the sun. What could go wrong?
She swallowed again. One last-minute personal examination revealed that her mane was still perfectly coiffed and in its place, her coat was smooth and silky, the royal jewellery she wore was properly arranged, and her makeup remained intact. A smile flickered briefly across her face as the phrase ‘my body is ready’ flashed through her mind, before it was summarily banished to the recesses of her mind and imprisoned there. Now was not the time for levity.
Her hoof rose from the ground, almost of its own volition, and it hung for a second, poised and ready.
Ok... Here goes.
Three sharp taps echoed through the corridor, followed by a fourth as Twilight’s hoof was brought back to the floor with nervy forcefulness. She held her breath, listening for his hoofsteps in total silence, and was taken aback when the door opened without any warning.
She looked up as she took a readying breath, only for there to be nothing to see. She looked back down to her own eye level, and was quite surprised to be faced with a salmon-pink unicorn mare with a magenta mane, dressed in a maid’s uniform. The maid seemed quite surprised to see her too, but was still able to recover more quickly.
“How can I help you, your Highness?” she asked politely, curtseying as she did. Twilight let out the breath she was holding, and coughed sheepishly before asking:
“Um, I don’t suppose Prince Solaris is here?”
“No, ma’am, Prince Solaris is with Prince Artemis in his chambers at the moment. He went along about half an hour ago, though I don’t know when he means to return.”
Twilight cursed silently, and hung her head in embarrassment and frustration.
I get myself all psyched up and he’s not even here?
“Would you like me to say you called?” the maid asked, looking slightly concerned.
“No! I mean,” Twilight coughed, and tried to mask her disappointment for the time being. “That won’t be necessary, thank you. I’ll just... catch him another time.”
“If you’re sure, my lady.”
“Yes, thank you.” The maid bowed and then stepped back, closing the door as she did so.
Now what?

meaning that Solaris wouldn't even know that Twilight was even there until one of the Royal Guards tells him that they saw Twilight in the castle running and crying. Which would make him wounder what happened and for some chapters he trys to find out on his own only to find out by one of the two maids, Luna, or giving up and going strate to Twilight. Or the maid that was on Twilight's side goes to hime and tells hime everything that her fellow maid had said and that it made Twilight cry. Makeing upset that that had happened.

But that is only what I think could happen for only reading the first chapter it could be somthing eles. I don't know it is your story and what ever you put in you next chapter when you do get to it is up to you. Hope you have a good day.:twilightsmile:

6914410 Dunno whether you meant to quote ALL of that stuff, but in the future, I'd recommend doing it like this:

From here:

insert short quote

To here:

insert later short quote

Just a tip. :raritywink:

Now regarding your suggestions, they're not bad ideas, but again they're not really what I'm aiming for overall. Might take a few little pointers here and there. Theoretically, I'm actually almost done with chapter 2, so expect it... in five months? :twilightblush:

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