My Element is Honesty. My Sin is Envy.
Fifteen foals (and one dragon) believe that they are in for the adventure of a lifetime after a mysterious mare tricks them into playing a game for the future of their world – a game played with one-on-one combat between metal monsters the size of mountains. But all is not as simple as it first appears, and saving Equestria may come at a far greater cost than any of them can bear.
(Art by blu-red. Comments will contain spoilers.)
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Art by BLU-RED...
A story about robots...
DANG YOU MANN VS. MACHINE.
FINALLY! A STORY THAT ACKNOWLEDGES THE EXISTENCE OF SEA SWIRL!
But, yeah, this seems promising. Can't wait to see how this'll turn out.
By the way, may I ask just what the crossover is with?
New Nine story? Count me in!
Very interesting, if not a bit hard to follow; for example, wouldn't Pina Colada not be there because she decided not to join? I probably missed something, but that did come off a little strange.
Also, is Sunny Days not being there a reference to Death Note: Equestria, or a basic conflict in this? I doubt it's the former, and it being the ladder might not be correct, but I'm just simply curious.
1115807 The manga/anime this stems from is Bokurano, a deconstruction of the mecha genre. It's an under-appreciated gem.
1117414 We're just on introductions; all will be explained in due time. This story takes place a few years before the events of Death Note: Equestria. The two stories aren't connected, but they take place in similar "universes" if you get my meaning. Characterizations, if not events, remain constant between them.
1118055
i have a question....do you already have all the giant mechs thought out ?
this also reminds of shadow of the colossus were you are a single teenager with a sword,bow,and a horse that has to 12 giant colossi that get harder the more you kill
1118595 Yes, although they're not set in stone.
Bokurano! One of my favorite obscure mecha series of depression and death. I look forward to seeing what you do with it! Though I must point out that the fact that the earth of Bokurano isn't supposed to be the earth we live in is part of what makes the series effective, leaving the reader (I read it instead of watched) with the possibility that it could happen to us. I therefore wonder if this is that one series which would actually benefit from a bunch of OCs or not...but would it be interesting then? What's the point of it being Equestria instead of a normal fanfic detailing a different earth's round of fights, if it's not the Equestria we know and love? And so on. I suppose the only way to know will be to wait for more to read.
1118055
Ah, alright! Thanks for the clarification!
Hm... A very straightforward adaptation so far.
Poor Scootaloo. Poor all of them.
Oh no. Oh no no no.
No.
This will not end well.
Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!
1277924
.....Never watched or read Bokurano, have you?
For the actual story.... What everyone else has said. This, will not end well. For ANYONE. Ending Bokurano well would be.... Well, I almost challenge our writer to do it. Not yet, but, Maybe next chapter i'll make the challenge.
I'm very happy to see this update!
I'm curious just how close to the source you are going to stay. I haven't read the manga but I did read up on what it is about.
This could be some really dark stuff depending on how you go with it.
3285031 You know how Death Note: Equestria starts out as a deceptively faithful adaptation and then strays further and further from the source material with time? Yeah, this is probably gonna turn out like that.
3286220
Excellent! I really liked what you did with Death Note: Equestria and can't wait to see what you add to this one.
I have a friend who read the manga... dark stuff there. I'm interested to see how closely you will follow the plot...
It came from beyond the extreme reaches of our reality,
It came to laugh at our naive existences.
I am puzzled by the truth that slips through my hooves even as I cover my ears.
Where in this thin body do I find the strength to stand?
Uninstall, uninstall.
I was told that I am just one of the countless specks of dust on this planet,
But that is something I cannot yet comprehend.
Uninstall, uninstall.
I have no choice but to pretend that
I am a warrior who knows no fear.
Uninstall.
The Bokurano manga incited glorious amounts of sheer rage in me, the series not quite as much, but still good. The good kind of rage, where it's because of the events in the story, and not the bad kind, where it's because the story is stupid.
Though if this is in continuity with Death Note Equestria I would figure the events about to occur here would be mentioned, since it's pretty guaranteed that several children very close to main characters in it are dead. Including Spike. Though if they're just similar universes I will let that slide.
I look forward to seeing all those empty chairs.
God I hate Bokurano.
That's all.
Love that you are updating this so regally now. Great chapter, keep it up!
1118055
Huh, I actually guessed right about what this was based on from the summary. That kind of surprises me; I looked at the TV Tropes page for Bokurano, decided it sounded way too depressing for my tastes, and stayed the heck away from the series. (For the same reason, I haven't actually read any of the fic; I just looked down to the comments from the story page.)
Loving this story so far. Very interested in how all of this plays out!
cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/anchorman-well-that-escalated-quickly.jpg
I actually read the manga after finding out this was based off Bokurano and I was not disappointed. I can't wait to see more of this story and see what other changes you do to this!
New chapters!
I just want you to know that you are an amazing writer. The characterization, the fight scenes, all of it is so wonderfully written.
On a different note this story just turned super sad. There are no happy endings here. I can't wait to see how this goes and how you diverge from the manga.
3382962
I'm actually pretty new at fight scenes, so that's great to hear. My main focus has been coming up with robot designs that could conceivably fit into the canon of the Bokurano multiverse; Cricket is definitely my favorite so far.
3383166
That Cricket eating it's way into Equus, and by extension Diamond Tiara, was horrifying. I loved it.
Good choice on robot design there.
This is awesome, I cant wait to read more. Bokurano is a gem of an Anime, and our equestria gives me the same feels and vibe that it did, thank you for this story! I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter.
Great chapter! Nice to see Diamond's character and I especially can't wait to see next chapter how all of them handle the reality of what is going to happen.
Why does this remind me of Sword Art Online lol
oh well it has caught my interest so i will give it a read when i can
Not gonna read the story, but... given the title you chose and the subject matter of giant mecha, you get a Like regardless, as well as this gift of my appreciation:
God bless you sir, and long live Hisoutensoku: the Pride of Gensokyo :')
>>>“You’d do well to not get on my bad side, little one,” he said over her outraged roars. “I’ve been patient with you so far, but even I have my limits. >>>
*Alondro glowers as reality begins to bend and crack under the sheer infinite power of his limitless rage* As do I. And the wicked creatures behind this have passed them.
So, those responsible wish to play a game with my favorite little world and drain the life from all the happy ponies... they shall beg me for death and will not allow it. They shall know the true meaning of hell...
Scoots got her cutie mark?
WHAT!
Man, I'm glad this popped into the feature box when it did. Otherwise, I never would've found it. I can't claim to know anything at all about the source material here, so I have no idea how closely this runs to the original plot of whatever it is you're apparently crossing over with. That being said, you handled a large cast of characters incredibly well considering the scope of the narrative and the final word count, and the fact that I'm honestly more interested in seeing how they all continue to interact with each other than I am to see giant monsters kick the shit out of each other is one hell of an achievement on your part. I hope you're not offended if I call this a diamond in the rough, because given how few views this has and considering what the feature box normally spits out, it's definitely far better than any circumstantial evidence would've led me to believe. In any case, I hope you're planning on keeping this thing going a little longer, because God knows it's been too long since I found an active multi-chapter fic I was really interested in following.
Oh God, I just want to put this line on a plaque or something under a title of "IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE A STORY WORTH EXPERIENCING". And then I could mail copies of that plaque all over the place. To the people who made Equestria Girls. To most of the writers in this fandom. To the people who made Equestria Girls again just to make sure it gets through.
But I digress. As I'm sure it's obvious, the character interactions are once again superb, and if the other comments are to be believed, some really fucked-up stuff is going to happen to said characters before the show's through. I like that. I like that a lot more than I probably should.
Well, short but sweet, but again: stellar work on characterizing the CMC, particularly with Scootaloo and the whole "wisdom from the mouth of babes" thing she's got going on there. Jesus, I'm blazing through these chapters.
Clever bit of craftsmanship with Scootaloo's tactics there, and in fact exactly the kind of thing I was hoping to see. Fight scenes are always more interesting when a writer plays them towards a character's weaknesses and forces them to find a work-around. And given Cicada's reaction to Scootaloo not getting curb-stomped, it feels like a safe bet to say that it won't be easy guessing which of the fifteen kids are most likely to come out on top in their battles. I'll have to look into this manga to see how it compares, and in the meantime keep reading to see what you do differently with it here.
Given he's only done battle three, it's got a long, LONG way to go yet. ...I can't manage anything else aside from that i'll be following this closely. I know too much...
And, now that i'm on chapter two and a few others have said it... Yes, this will end badly. There will be... Well. Stuff will happen, children. Just watch. But, yes, as Keiaran said... Poor Scootaloo. Poor Everyone. Not just the kids, either. EVERYBODY.
Starts out faithful, but then starts to stray with time, huh? ...Yep. This is going to be... Interesting.
Well. One down. Don't worry pal. We ALL hate Bokurano. We're only really reading this to see just HOW horribly it goes for everyone. My bet's on horribly.
Yeah. Now that it's revealed... Yes. EVERYBODY IS GOING TO DIE. And whether it goes like the anime or the manga, it's only going to get worse... Or get much, MUCH worse.
3418972
Eh. You're late to the game. The Bokurano multiverse was..... Dealt with some time ago. The amount of paperwork and repairs was ABSURD, believe me. But, yeah, it's not just Equestria that'll wind up getting harvested if the kids lose. It's the whole universe. Peachy Pie dies next though so... Fun times!
3418651
Eh. SAO wasn't NEAR as dark as Bokurano. Came out long after it too. I think? Anime wise anyways. Manga and LN wise i'd have to actually look...
Oh, so that's the type of story this'll be... nice, nice. This ought to be good.
My ignorance of the source canon is showing again, but I have to wonder whether there are (or will be) exceptions to the fact that victory in the battles seems to go hand-in-hand with a bad case of the deads. It'd be possible to maintain emotional intrigue once all the kids clued in to how the process worked, but much tougher than if there were certain ones who managed to survive and others who didn't make it.
Case in point from my last comment: this would be the kind of place where either possibility for the survivability of the battles would be intriguing. If DT goes out the same way Scootaloo did (or just gets stomped in the battle and kicks it that way), then we get to see how perceptions of the class bully change once she's cold in the ground. Conversely, if she does somehow survive, everyone in the group--especially her--is still confronted with their own mortality, as well as the fact that DT is somehow playing by different rules... which, now that I think about it, would fit in quite nicely with the theme Cicada just touched on about money and power. As far as my entertainment's concerned, this looks like a win-win to me.
... and shit, why is all this making me want to start planning a non-shitty Battle Royale adaptation? Why does seeing a bunch of little ponies get killed in a story make me think, "Yo, I should write a story like that too"? There's something wrong with me. There's something wrong with both of us.
Shit, it's getting lonely down here in the comments. Guess that comes with the territory of updating so quickly. Anyway, I've never been one to get too worked up about sounding like a broken record, so I'll repeat that your portrayals of the Ponyville kids are spot-on, to an envy-inducing degree in Diamond Tiara. Next chapter ought to be real fun.
And that answer my previous questions. I suppose, given that this is a crossover, I can't exactly praise you for creating that clever mechanic, but it's certainly a unique choice of source material, and it definitely leaves me excited for how the rest of this is going to work out. Wonder if anyone's going to blame Twist for it, or try to off themselves early to get out of their battle...
Jesus Christ, I need help.
See, this is why I love writing about life-or-death situations (or... I guess death-or-much-worse-death situations, in this case): you get to set up characters with all their aspirations and personality quirks, and then in an instant boil them down to their most basic internal strengths. I think in a previous comment I said it might get boring if it was just as simple as "You're all going to die", and I said that because I was worried you wouldn't try to make things play out that way. Thankfully, it seems I had no reason to be concerned. I know you said you just wanted to take a month to mow through as much of this as you could, but should you feel like continuing it afterwards, I'm in for the long haul. I'll also try to check out Death Note: Equestria sometime soon, since (very thankfully here) I'm not just into this fic for the plot and characters here, if you catch my drift.
(Seriously, though, Battle Royale adaptation. We should talk.)
Is Scootaloo...
Dead?