Fifteen individuals were selected to become the new hope for all of Equestria, bringing together all sentient races in peaceful resolution - Calling Elites from many different fields of expertise so they can hone their skills and become friends.
That was the idea.
However, even the best laid plans can fail. The fifteen are taken by a maniac to a world where logic is thrown out the window and the only way to escape is to murder another!
Who will survive? Who will die? And what is the reason behind being kidnapped just to kill each other?
Chapters (7)
Already this hook me from the very beginning. A nice diversity of the cast and I really love the art you put. Hope you also have a resault of the end of the chapters as those always show accomplishments.Now who is going to be the first victim and the blacken?
Interesting cast of characters. I hope you bring in some world building for the non-pony races in the future. Give them different cues to how they act socially. There's not enough stories where all the races interact with each other. Great job. Also like the artistic touch. We could use some more illustrated fanfics.
The characters were really great and different from what I'd expect. For OCs, they show a lot of promise. I think you should tone down the fourth wall breaks. They're generally considered comedic and random, which is a bit too jarring in a story based on a video game about teenagers killing each other.
On the other hand, there were some spelling and grammar mistakes. Not enough for it to detract from the overall enjoyment, but still distracting from time to time nonetheless. I don't want to be one of those people who constantly nitpick, but if you want me to point out my issues I will.
I'm sorry if I sound too critical, because I did enjoy this chapter well enough and plan on reading more when you post 'em!
4829460
Thanks for the advice and I shall do so.
As for the fourth wall breaks...
Wait till the second game comes out, Ibuki Mioda will shatter that wall.
Nice idea man, will read this
How long did those pictures take you to make?
Because depending on your answer, I might not alert you that you have two Frekis, in fear of rage-assisted suicide.
4830524 Not that a little editing can't fix
looks good so far keep up the great work!!
I can't watt for the rest. Alice in Wonderland is one of my favorite stores ever
On a side note. I will be reading all of Hawkward lins in Vic Mignogna's voice and Misch in Caitlin Glass's
I like this, all the characters look like they have potential. Speaking of which, are you also going to show art of their deaths and executions? I know that would take a lot of work, but it sure would be cool!
4834065
I was actually planning on it.
4834100 Yay! I also hope you show a result screen of every chapter on who is left.
I'm happy to see more art from this story. I'm also hoping to see the "You've got that wrong!" and the students disagreeing with Tracer. Then again, maybe not...that might be too much work for you...
Oh I love the result screen you put here. Day one has pass and I wonder if the motive will be in the next day
Don't worry Tracer. I hear Kabuto pretty good
Motive set and now the next chapter someone is gonna die. Who will go first I have to wait but it will be awesome
Only a matter of time...only a matter of time...
Tracer had pulled himself up to the window and was about to slide in through the window, but when he looked into the room, his eyes widened and his breath suddenly escaped his lungs.
“Ah… Hah…” Tracer stammered before his grip slipped and he fell to the ground. “GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!”
Well so much for that. I thought he would be chapter 3 villain.
this music plays at the end of the chapter
as a picture shows up with tracer and the deceased so far
4865421 Showing Trace in the class picture and Elo playing chess just two seats away
And so the first murder has been committed. I think Godfrey might have been behind this...
Godfrey is my guess, mostly because he took the nameplates, and the red feathers are there most likely because he maybe took care of Lore's wings or something.
But then again our chef is sort of suspicious story telling wise. As we know most about his past so we would know the motive and that does look like kitchen knife.
So Godfrey is my guess and Chef is my secondary guess. For now. Might change later.
Elo's cutie mark in the picture is a King, not a Rook...
But that's just me being nitpicky! A triple crossover (four if you count the Edward Elric Expy), now that sounds fun to me~ You're making me so amped up I'm getting my own equicidal urges! Better get back to mine! *darts off*
4901415 Oh, there's a few more characters that 'shout outs'.
Misch Metal has the same markings as Crow from YGO 5D's
Kopuz has a magatama that's a staple prop from a certain attorney series
And Crowquill... That's just blatantly ripping off another from the same attorney series...
But there are still a few others too -snickers-
Do you mean to write
cookchef? Because you missed the strikethrough whenever you wrote it in this chapter. Nitpicks aside, however, I love it so far! Did you by any chance get the Subrule to Rule 4 from another fic on this site, BTW?I've noticed that you tend to repeat phrases from time to time. I do that too, it's so easy to fall into when you're trying to make the dialogue just right. Regardless, I am loving this! I wish I could draw as well as you/afford to buy commissions for mine, I think that's gonna give you a real edge around here, not that you need it. At last, we have another fic that truly captures the Danganronpa spirit!
4884111
The knife is the least probable murder weapon since there is no blood on the blade and besides that would be way too obvious. My thoughts for now are that the victim tried to commit the murder using this knife (just like in the first Danganronpa), and to do so they left a letter at someone's door (someone vulnerable) but they mistook the room since all the tags were gone and ended up fighting with someone way stronger.
But then again we still have an investigation to go and I'm sure more evidence will be gathered.
Also, MangaKamen, are you going to do the illustrations for the Climax Inferences as well? That would be great!
You should also add music suggestions (not the whole youtube videos, simply something like: *Play Despair-Syndrome here*) to different parts of the story. I tried to read while listening to the games OSTs but since I don't know what will happen it's hard to get the right one at the right time.
4943968
Well, I'm gonna try to get the illustrations for the climax inferences, but it would take some time to get them done. Then again, I'm just waiting on my Beta so who knows?
Also, I might just make a Youtube soundtrack with music that might be appropriate for parts (like how DR2 Displays the song in the corner)
4865302
This one sounds better imo:
I actually opened the body photo on the other window, enlarged it and started moving around while playing the track. It worked out pretty nicely :)
4953749 I was looking for that one!
Its about time. I can't wait to see how this goes. Also if you want here is some elevator sounds you could use for that moment where everybody is using that elevator.
... Is it bad I already know who's the killer?
Eh, maybe not.
4966027
Well, it was kinda obvious in the first trial of the first game... At least I didn't slap the name of the perp upside down.
4966034 Yeah, Leon was an idiot for not noticing that.
That said... Are the Executions going to be drawn, or only written? Just curious...
So that's what Tracer look like. We never really did see his art before, did we? Anyway, I look forward to the trial. This really feels like Dangan Ronpa material already.
Huh, looks like my theory was right.
By the way do you consider including minigames like Panic Talk Action or Hangman's Gambit? (I think that's how the anagram one is called). You don't need to illustrate them considering that you're planning to make Climax Inferences (if you are) etc.
Either way the Chapter's great, the soundtrack was a good addition, and I cannot wait for the trial :)
I'm wondering are you going to do the credit scene that happens at the end of the animation showing a picture of the protagonist and the deceased?
4969488 Oh I really hope he does
4969721 thank you for agreeing with me
4970138
Now I got no choice but to do that, now don't I?
Tell ya guys what, we get more people reading this story, liking it and giving it thumbs up, not only will I make that pic to appear at the end of each segment...
BUT I'll also take the climax inferences and I'll make them into videos with me acting as the voice of Tracer... Unless someone else wants to try voicing the stallion.
But that's only if this story gets more noticed.
4970477 okay, anyway I like how you add the pictures to this story are you planning on showing the execution too ? upupupu
4970570
Thanks, and as for the execution...
-shrugs-
Who knows?
4970578 monokuma: upupupu
I already have an idea about who did it... I'll think it over, then if I can figure it out for sure I'll send you a PM.
4970477
Wow, that would be pretty cool!
Come on everyone, let's gather more Pony/Danganronpa Fans and if you don't know any
bodypony who likes both, then gather your Brony friends, introduce them to Danganronpa franchise and MAKE THEM REEEAAAD! *Gundham Tanaka's Laugh*I dread to see the execution next chapter. It's like a car wreck, it's not a pretty sight but you can't help but look at it anyway.
5010513
Especially when they're so spectacular/ironic. Plus that music... ♪ Reach for the stars, reach so high... ♫
As always it was an amazing chapter. I like how you mixed the events from the first and the second game. Of course something original would be better, but hey, I'm thinking of making some Danganronpa comics in the future and I know how hard it is to come up with something. At least you're not that type of guy who just copies everything from the original and splatters some ponies on it. :P
I was a little disappointed the Climax Inferences weren't illustrated but who am I to demand anything. You're not earning money from it (at least I don't think so), so there's no need to overwork yourself.
Throughout the trial I was convinced that the culprit was indeed Godfrey, however I also was suspecting Francis a little, simply because in SDR2 the first culprit was also the
cookchef (poor Teruteru by the way :/).Nothing left to say besides: Keep up the good work!
Also forgot to say the pictures were wonderful!
5011144 Trust me, the next case shall be completely different from the two games -smirks-
kinda figured that francis was the culprit since of his title as chef
anyway can't wait to see the execution. UPUPUPUPU
5011328
Don't forget about...