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A Star is Born...and Promptly Explodes1,280 words
The Essence of Ecstasy1,309 words
Dare to Dream1,274 words
Peering into Percipience1,263 words
Dinner and a Dance1,332 words
Pranks and Paperwork1,459 words

Pranks and Paperwork

The changeling on Orpheus’s back let out a cackle. “So, it appears my name is well known.”

Orpheus snorted. Nineteen-forty, alias Cutup. Wanted for fifteen Thestral slayings around Canterlot. Cutup then pulled Orpheus’s head back by his mane, where Orpheus could clearly see the rictus grin carved into the changeling’s face. “So, you wanna hear how I got these scars?”

Already read how. ALL of the ways how. This is my chance. “No, but I know how you got this one!” Orpheus roared as he reached above his head and grabbed the changeling’s horn and pulled sharply downwards, snapping it off, hearing it clang on the cobblestones in front of him along with the stiletto it was holding in its magic. He then rose to his hooves and sharply bucked it off, glancing at Verdant Night. Verdant Night smiled and waved, pointing at the detached horn on the ground. Orpheus glared and sighed, then picked up the horn in his wing, taking a crouched battle stance.

By this time, Cutup had righted itself and was now pulling out another stiletto from the purple jacket it was wearing, grasping it in its hoof. “Why so serious, Batsy?” it asked as it turned its head upside down, sending a chill down Orpheus’s spine. Orpheus snorted. He didn’t even feel the horn being ripped off. Must be hopped up on something. A flash of realization flashed across Cutup’s upside-down face. “I know what’ll turn that frown upside down, Batsy,” it said as its head slowly righted itself, “a party! So let’s get this party started and put a smile on that face!” Cutup then zoomed directly towards Orpheus, cackling madly with its stiletto raised. Orpheus raised the horn in his grasp just in time to deflect the blow, Cutup reeling back. Cutup then dashed forward and started making wild slashes with its stiletto, Orpheus blocking them all. “Come on, batpony, I wanna see you smile!” it screamed as it continued its wild flailing.

Orpheus kept blocking, looking for an opening, but the changeling was swinging too wildly. He found his chance as Cutup swung wide. Orpheus stabbed down on Cutup’s hoof, causing it to drop the blade. Cutup, however, did not seem phased. Instead, it swung the hoof that was holding the stiletto in a wide haymaker, which Orpheus handily blocked...much to his chagrin. Thousands of volts of electricity ran through Orpheus, stunning him. The changeling then disengaged its hock, revealing a joy buzzer attached to it. Orpheus fell to his haunches, panting. Cutup then dropped to his knees and pumped its hoof. “Nailed it! I always have a trick up my sleeve!”

Orpheus snorted weakly as he reached into his left breast pocket. “Well, you may have a trick up your sleeve, but I have an ace in the hole.”

Cutup giggled madly. “An ace in the hole? How dro—ACK!” it started before Orpheus threw the flashbang, lodging it in Cutup’s throat with one swift throw.

Orpheus stood up and gripped the horn that he had dropped in his electrocution. “What’s the matter, Cutup, cat got your tongue?” he asked as he slowly walked towards the villain. He then hefted the horn in his wing, pointing it towards Cutup’s larynx. “Well, let me help you clear your THROAT!” he shouted as he stabbed the horn deep into Cutup’s neck. A loud bang was heard as light escaped from Cutup’s eyes, mouth, and newly minted neck hole as its head twitched back. Orpheus pulled the horn out of Cutup’s neck, whereupon Cutup dropped to the ground, its eyes burned out.

“That’s not funny…” Cutup said weakly before passing out. The sound of applause was heard from down the alleyway as Orpheus looked up to see Verdant Night clapping in celebration.

“What a marvelous show, Orpheus!” Verdant Night cheered. Orpheus shook his head and trotted over to Verdant Night.

“Do you realize who that is?”

Verdant Night put a chin to her hoof. “Well, I heard you call him Cutup, but that name doesn’t ring a bell.”

Orpheus sighed. “That’s Nineteen-forty, alias Cutup. He’s an Individual.”

Verdant Night raised an eyebrow. “Individual?”

Orpheus nodded. “A group of changelings that have been excommunicated from the hive. They apparently don’t like bat ponies, for some reason. They’re extremely dangerous.” Verdant Night giggled. Orpheus glared at her.

“Well, it appears your training has finally been put to good use.”

“What? That’s all you say? I could have been killed!”

Verdant Night shook her head, turning back into Princess Luna. “But you weren’t. Now let’s get this ruffian in the castle dungeon.” A blue glow was cast around the changeling as Luna picked it up, then flew off. Orpheus shook his head and followed after her.

----

After locking Cutup in the palace dungeon, Orpheus proceeded to the least favorite part of a bust:Paperwork. He sighed as he shuffled around the dungeon office, looking for the right forms to fill out, pleased to find that they were all well-stocked. He then sat down at the desk, grabbed a quill in his bat wing, and started the laborious process. First, there was the Victims’ Assistance report. That was me, so I don’t really have to fill that out. He put that to the side. He then picked out three more forms and labeled them Assault with a deadly weapon, attempted murder and unlawful possession of a weapon. He then sat there for a second, thinking if he was forgetting anything. He got up and grabbed another form and sat down. Loitering. Orpheus grinned. There, that should cover all the bases. He then got to the protracted process of filling out all of the papers correctly. After two hours, he was finished. He looked over the paperwork, checking if every i was dotted and t was crossed. Satisfied that there were no errors, he continued on to his least favorite part of his least favorite part: the arrest notes. These took about an hour as well, as he went into the gory details of the incident and how the ghoul had come into custody. Satisfied with his work, he leaned back in his chair, savoring the small break he afforded himself. He then heard a knocking at the door, causing him to sit up sharply. Who could be knocking at this hour? “Come in.”

A blue glow wrapped the door, revealing Princess Luna. Orpheus quickly got out of his chair and bowed. “My liege.”

“You may rise.” Orpheus rose, wondering where the flighty mare he had been with had gone. Princess Luna bit her lip, then paced around the room. “It occurs to me that my actions tonight were...less than royal. I abused my power to force you to violate workplace policy as well as the laws that Equestria holds so dear.” Luna then looked into Orpheus’s eyes. “And besides that, I put your life in danger for my own amusement. It was wrong of me to place those burdens upon you, and I hope you can accept my apology.” Orpheus chuckled at that, to which Luna raised an eyebrow. “Why are you laughing? I’m being completely serious.”

Orpheus stopped chuckling and said, “You have no need to apologize, your majesty. Although I may have been cross with you earlier, that was just my Night Guard training kicking in. In all actuality, I’m glad that you didn’t intervene in the scuffle earlier today—”

“—but he electrocuted you! From what I understand, that’s dangerous to ponies!”

Orpheus waved a hoof. “Nonetheless, I’m glad that you didn’t intervene. It gave me a chance to test out my skills in a real fight, which I should be thanking you for.” Orpheus snickered. “Plus, now I have a good story to tell my wife and kids when I go home later. As for the lawbreaking, I didn’t enjoy that as much. Please never ask me to do that again.”

Luna nodded, a smile dancing across her features. “That sounds great.” She then took a seat at the desk and rolled out a huge map of Canterlot, with areas circled that were marked with W’s. Orpheus trotted over and looked at the map.

“What’s this, your majesty?”

“This is a map I found in the guardroom with sightings of another Individual, Nineteen-ninety-three, Codename, ‘Woe’. I figure we can hunt him next.”

Orpheus looked around uneasily. “Isn’t that the changeling that broke Mare-Do-Well’s back?”

Luna nodded eagerly. “They very one! Now what do you say you give him the old what-for?”

Orpheus gulped.

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