A much more cerebral chapter, I see. It was well written. I enjoyed it.

This was... Terrifyingly poetic.

Wait, Princess Luna? Was she even around at that point?

4009401
No, she was not, at least according to the canon of the show. I simply used her name as I didn't expect ponies to simply forget her, and would like to think they still referred to the night as "Princess Luna's".

Can't wait for more

4009403
That's debetable. It looked like, that the ponies in ponyville didn't know much about Luna, but there were the nightmare night festival... anyway, really good chapter, if a touch dark, can't wait for the next

I have mixed feelings about this.

I sort of liked chapter one of this story. This chapter though...

It's only two thousand words and still feels too long, a lot of things are said that don't have any meaning, and others which do have meaning are badly explained, or not at all. The events could have been conveyed in a much more consise manner (about a third of the length) and it would probably have made for a better read.

I had hopes for this story. They have been thoroughly dashed. Such a pity

What was the purpose of this chapter? I understood nothing.

i dont get it im sorry i dont see the point of this chapter

This chapter was far more poetic & yet disturbing on a level that is not easily voiced.
I'll say well done, but I think you may be misjudging the standard audience for this fic (if the previous comments are any indication).

4014756
That is quite the tricky thing. I tried something different with the chapter, and had hoped for responses like yours, but it seems most people simply didn't like it.

Now, of course, comes the dilemma of whether to redo the chapter or not.

4010840
Thanks for the feedback. I am reconsidering this chapter and might simply redo it.

I actually really liked this chapter. It was a little over the head of the average clop reader (guilty ) but I could feel the poetry from it. Most of it was understandable and what I took from it was beautiful. Of course sometimes I was just like AJ and I wanted to say "English please?" This was a great experiment, but this test group is not the best I really want to enjoy this, but sometimes I can't comprehend it I feel uncultured, and writing a story myself the last thing I would want you to do is edit a chapter you finally released I suppose it's up to you. If you can clarify this in chapter three, then leave this artwork up, otherwise I guess you HAVE to edit this a little, if not for me, at least for the others. I will like and favorite, because I want to see where this will go (and the clop in chapter one played no small role ) Let's see where this crazy train is headed

fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/338/f/6/cool_story_kaiba_meme_generator_now_thats_what_by_fox_fire_vash-d6ws8pt.jpg

A good edition, if a bit hard to wrap ones head around, especially after a fifth of vodka... and it being 2:30 in the morning...

4358190

Or.... x3

WOW; very poetic. I like... alot.

I would really like to know more about the why of this. Why did she do it, why does she want to continue. Why is her husband accepting of it. And wasn't the sister mentioned? This, like many decent short stories, could benefit from more detail and greater length. Anyway, faved and upvoted.

Y U NO WRITE MOAR?

aw man its canceled just my luck