A Surprise Meeting: 4
I had met up with Dash in a park, just outside of the village and on the other side from the forest. It's a good place to meet friends, but apparently it was a place where ponies were enjoying the day, walking their pets as well. I had never known until today since it had been out of my space, as it were.
Dash had kindly slipped the collar around my neck, just as she had the day before. I had felt the same changes coming over me, just the way it had happened the day before.
I'm following a path that takes me into a lightly forested area, giving me comforting shades from time to time. As Pet, I had started to find a special comfort and joy from this part, feeling the trees standing tall on all sides, even as spares as they were here.
Maintaining a slight trot mere steps before Dash on my tiny Deer hooves made little to no noises out of my presence, which is good for me in my current situation. I'm as shy and easily startled as it was in my regular form. Now, as the Deer it is enhanced manifold.
Then I hear steps further down the chosen path, knowing it is Pinkie Pie, walking a small pet.
I'm trotting silently through the forest along the path Dash had chosen for the two of us. I feel more comfortable alone with her here in the quiet forest, than I used to be before. Maybe there is something more to the changes, or is it that I found a balance within myself in this setting, with just her here in the forest.
Far from all ponies save for Dashie, I feel a joy in life. Then something brought up more joy as I started to sing in a new voice stemming from the Deer within me. It sounded nothing like my old self. I'm not the quiet whispering doormat, or the mean self yelling at every Pony to step out of the way. Now I'm just happily singing a tune from right out of the forest.
Just as I quiet for a moment, as if in transition between two tunes, I happened to look up momentarily, only to look into a pair of eyes. Maybe I had heard Pinkie Pie's hoof steps too, though there is someone else here with us. To my surprise, I recognised him.
I just looked at him and he looked back. Now a shy Deer, much like me, just that he still is the Earth type, while I still am the Pegasus type, even as Deer. Interesting, even as Deers, we are still who we had always been, just as Deers instead of ponies.
All of a sudden, I realised it was Cheese Sandwich. He looked up curiously at me, as if he failed to recognise me for the shortest of instants. Then came the spark of recognition.
I just looked at him and he looked back. Now a shy Deer, much like me, just that he still is the Earth type, while I still am the Pegasus type, even as Deer. Interesting, even as Deers, we are still who we had always been, just as Deers instead of Ponies.
The endearing shy smile and a slight hint to a blush on his cheeks only made it harder, more enjoyable at the same time as well.
“Nice to see you here, Dashie!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed in her more jubilant voice, as she stopped by her side.
“Hiya, Pinkie. Nice to see you too. Seems our Pets are going well together!” Rainbow Dash put forth in a greeting.
“Yeah, you're right. I'm glad they go together. Would have sucked, if they couldn't be friends now!” she merely pointed out with a slight leer in her playful voice.
“I'm with you all the way. Much cooler this way!” Dash exclaimed in a merry voice of hers.
For a moment, I just looked quietly at her, realising that Cheese did too. A curious moment had been built up, lingering for the short duration. Nothing was said, nothing really needed to be said. Just the one glance, and a facial expression that defied words.
A moment passing, then next of uncertainly. We exchanged sniffs and snorts, before standing quietly, looking up to us for recognition.
She just petted me on the back of my head, quietly scratching me behind my right ear, looking fondly at me for a moment. Something told us, Pinkie Pie did the same to her pet; Cheese Sandwich. It isn't as if there was a blame, it is merely feeling like the right way.
Affectionately petting her Deer, awarding me for acting properly, the way one was expecting a good pet Deer would act.
By the looks, Dash was pleased to see Pinkie on her way along the track. Our little unofficial meet and greet had gone off fairly well, at least I thought I read it on her features. I am a pet right now, after all. Maybe I could ask her as we got home, when she slipped my collar off of me?
From the looks, it seems to me as if Pinkie had entertained Cheese as her pet for quite the while, even if Cheese had been free to roam and do what was his place to perform, just as I am freed to perform my duties, when need be. Maybe this is why I had not seen him, as often as one may have expected.
After a few more minutes, Cheese became restless, so Pinkie followed him along the train in the direction they had initially been heading.
Once Pinkie Pie and Cheese was out of the way, Dash continued along our path. There was no point in sticking around, as pleasant as the meeting had been, unexpected or not. I am not sure, neither Pinkie Pie, nor Rainbow Dash gave a hint as to if it had been contrived or not. Maybe it had just been a random meeting, after all.
Even if they had both known the other were taking this path, but never asked when the outing was to take place, it is still a random occurrence in my eyes.
I know Dash is enjoying this little excursion just as much as I do, she knew I enjoy it, just as much as she does.
I feel right at home in the forest, more so now as a Deer than I had before, even if I had felt it from the day I exiled myself from Cloudsdale and became a resident of Ponyville. Ponyville had always made me feel right at home, where I live now, just at the outskirts of the forest, where I could care for the local critters as I saw fit, which was where I belong.
--- --- ---
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sooooo wtf was cheesed petified into then?....
5079092 aquarious, why? I take it, you are referring to a mucisal group.
5079121 Hillarious? how and why? You think you could talk him(?) into it?
5079148 is it Cheese Sandwich you are talking about? Apparently he had agreed to be her Pet, for the time.
5079561 "Splash"?
I hope the chapter titles are not confusing the story they are representing now.
Oh well, when Pinkie Pie is there, there is a possibility of Hillarity and Random, or both if you are lucky?
5081807 not a musical group , a song....
the broken english makes for an amazingly fun run for me , it ends up making all the characters act and say things in ways that no one would ever normally do , which imagining these characters doing it is just fucking hilarious lol.....
for some reason other people are stupid and don't like it though so person that i wanted you to collab with
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/140169/ab-initiofrom-the-startal-principio got proofreaders and ruined that experience for his story half way through :c .....
yes apparently he agreed to it , but he did so in the way that also meant he was wearing that transformation collar , but it was never described what he was transformed into......
not 'splash' , 'slash'
5082844 To a point, it was intentional, even if the exact effect on a specific reader can never be predicted beforehoof? I try to write my stories to be different and unique, without pulling the characters out of character, which is just wrong and bad. I just can't play safe and sacrifice the story on the grammatical altar, as it were.
I could chance it on them, or a large portion of them being 'Grammar-Nazies'? If you go for grammar before story, you could never enjoy a story to the fullest, since you never get the full immersion, even if the story is actually spot on. Oh well, their loss, really.
I checked the link and found a curious image as Icon. Is that what I think she is wearing?
There is the one problem with the summary, I think the name of said Princess was spelled incorrectly, with an extra 'E' in there?
Did the guy express interest in the proposed collab?
If I by chance managed to get a proofreader, I would still maintain the tone and mood of the story, or it is what I imagine I would. There may be better ways to express some of the situations, but I kind of fails to see how I can stay entirely within the border of grammar for what I try to 'say'.
"Transformation Collar", curious notion, maybe I should allow some Pony to wear such a device at some point? Oh wait, I guess both Flutter Shy and Cheese Sandwich have them an already? I love inventing all manner of devices just like it. If the story going with it could be ported to this site or not is left to be discovered. Although I am trying to device just such a means, in a story I plan to publish, once I can get the 1,000 words required for approving it.
Thanks, I guess I could see what you pointed at earlier, once I manage to get these to play?
5083021 well i believe for them loss of grammar is a loss of immersion....
that depends if you think she is wearing a diaper or not....
said princess? but we have yet to mention a princess in anything yet...
idk , i haven't asked him....
yeah , so what was cheese transformed into?....
don't know what you think it is i was pointing at with those songs.....
5083096 I guess I can see their point, if the Grammar is pulling them out of the story, you can never really enjoy the story. I want my readers to go as deep as it is possible, not just sitting by the desk, feeling the chair under their butts, they need to feel as if they were actually there physically, if possible.
I guess that is what I thought I saw in his image.
Celestia was mentioned at least Twice in his summary, wasn't she?
I doubt I mentioned a Princess in this particular story, at least yet, but you never know?
They have been around in some of my stories. I know Celestia, Luna and Twilight are in several of my stories.
Hmm, if you think it would be a good read, you may consider asking, just to see if there is a chance?
From what I recall, he would be an Earth Deer.(Buck) as in male deer?
At least the tunes does play, on the other PC. Instrumantal, right?
Not sure, but you did mean something, right?
Even if it was just to let me sample for myself?
I still need to read the story while listening to get the last on what you suggested you were thinking of?
5083170 lol that's a tall order for a short 1 off clop fic....
done , asked on previous posted link...
k...
what?...
i meant what i said
their names looked similar.....
5083200 What story are you referring to?
I may have a one-shot, but it isn't a clop, even if I may have a few that would easily work os such?
Immersion in my opinion and experience is in how well you can pull them in.
perspective, sensations(not just sight) vocabulary and what ever you can fill out the blanks between your butt and the seat?
The titles for the clippies at the Tubie does look similiar.
I hope the titles of my chapters and stories doesn't leave you with the same confused impression now.
At least I can listen to these tunes now.
5083726 oh right this wasn't clop my bad lol....
what? no it wasn't your titles that had me confused it was my own name organization for those songs.....
5083813 I have several stories of or with clop, even if this wouldn't be one of them.
We all make mistakes ..
I noticed a flood of clips on the tube with close to identical names, even the images looks identical to me.
Thanks, good to know my chapter titles are not confusing.
5316280
The chaptes you are referring to, from the mark are old, more than enough to warrent a serious over-haul, from what I could see.
Could you give any more details, pointing at how and why the writing is bothering you?
The events the story revolves around are mainly what can't be in Canon, thus we know little to noghing about how Ponies would react.
The question would be how far the alternative Universe would permit the changes in the story.
Maybe the closest paralel in Canon is when Twilight had their marks swapped?
I could use some help with that. Could you give me a few hints?
Since the events the story is about up until this point should be anything but, could you elaborate?
For a final point, I would still thank you for trying to say something.
At least your comment does give me an idea as to why it is fairing the way it is.
If only more could take a moment in order to give me as a writer a chance to adress what ever problems you as reader come across, while reading the story.
Oh, and sorry for taking this long in order to respond.
7062859 these Collars are kind of like a wedding ring, and comes with the committments to the other.
7062916 You have that special a friend? or it would explain why you can't ask your friend to wear it for you?
Maybe there is room to explore the underpinning prinsiples of these Collars? Going into how they work and what options are available? The story is focusing on these two as a couple, with the collar to signify, or seal the ship.
7066271 I may not exactly be the expect on Neurophysics and such, but Love isn't a Memory but more of an Emotion. Your situation sounds like a problem with L1/2 caché memory. I gasther tidebits and extrapolate, and it can make for both stories and advice on occasion.
A special some Pony, that is what these Collars are intended for in the first place; while they take you much furhter than the connection of a metal string around a specific finger ever could. It isn't so much in a leather string you hold in your hand in order to real her in, either; if that was the case, you oculd buy one of these in the nearest pet shop.
Looking into the psyké of a pet, there is a special respect continously flowing both ways. It isn't a Master and a slave, but how fun would that have been? Having a Pet is more in managing the relation and the daily life for the both of you in order for both to gain as much from it as possible, while never having one sacrificing to the other. If she has a problem in memory, it sounds as if she needs the Collar more than you.
You need to know her well, and understand which pet she is naturaly leaning towards.
On that note, if you say it at a different time or forget she may notice even if she can't explain how.
7066278 Interesting correlation to the story, regardless of if it is a fantacy or a need built up by some physical problem. Just hope I don't give away too much of where the story is going, or give a mixxed message.
A seemingly self explanatory question but will this be updated? Not read it yet since I usually wait for completion on stories but this is something from a time capsule
No offense