• Member Since 15th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Jan 13th, 2017

Finnie Nara


Likes: writing gaming trolling and food lololo, creative feedback Dislikes: cussing needless swearing and not making friends in a minute

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This is a story about the relationship between a filly and a changeling in a forest. Where after the queen of changelings was defeated Twilight Sparkle had a magical freakout and turned into a filly.

P.S teen rating because there is some violence in later chapters just in case right?

Chapters (23)
Comments ( 76 )

Not bad but you should make more.

This is good, the concept is very intriguing especially but it also needs some serious work. That summery in particular, I wouldn't have read this if the first chapter wasn't so brief. I don't mean to be harsh but I would recommend going through the Writing Guide and improving it before moving on.

Still, best of luck with it. :pinkiesmile:

You know originally it was supposed to be born a pony raised a human but that just seemed like a rip-off so i changed it Lol
Also i tried restarting the horn but the problem seems to ensue

Also sorry bout the summary was done when i was half dead... Just wanted to get the idea out first tho

Im watching you on every step.

3644770 please don't kill me... Kill that jerk down the street instead. Please?

Also let me know if u guys want longor short updates
P.s i need an editor so that i can update faster with less errors

3645460
im not a murderer. I judt want to zap you, imprison you in my cocoon and rip out your emotions leaving you as a mindless husk. No harm done :)

3645469 Is that supposed to make me feel better? If so its not working

3645541
ok then i will kidnap you and feed cookies and muffins to you
MUHAHAHA

3645560 Hmm i'll have to consider that offer

3645561
and THEN i will zap you.

3645560 btw dude u wanna see the current version of the new chapter i'm writing need some constructive feedback if i want this story to be any good

well that's certainly... thought-provoking...

3645567
Maybe in an hour? Cant right now.
this is the start of a beautiful feed-i mean friendship

yeah... i'll ignore that typo too

Tell me what i should put in the summary cos alot of ppl don't seem to like it

You seem to have the habit of making several sentences into one. Just one point(.) Would improve the flow.

ah... yeah i have a bad habit of doing that...

just point them out and i'll do the rest after i finish writing the next chapter of course

An update is coming soon just give me some more time to work on it guys!! :twilightsmile:

Gonna edit it and extend it A.S.A.P:twilightsmile:

actually instead of editing i think i'll just write a new chapter and publish it tmr too tired to do so now

P.S i feel as if the most recent chapter was a tad bit rushed and only served to further the plot... let me know what you guys think

One word: paragraphes.
and generally you want to use a bt more punctuation marks. really helps the flow

One more chapter for you guy because i care :twilightsmile:

let me know if i should combine the foalnapping with the conversation in the night...

P.S i know what you guys are thinking: wow Celestia's an asshole and i totally agree she even burned down the damned house to cover her tracks but what can i say being a ruler means making decisions even if you think they are wrong

Anyways get ready for christmas cos i'll be updating a lot on christmas eve

3651082 Wait, what? How does that even make sense? If you think a decision is the wrong one then don't make it! Sorry but Celestia feels very out of character in this chapter. She should be far more able of keeping her emotions in check, even in regards to Twilight.

Hmm ok i'll take the chapter out for abit and edit it but... i still really need an editor lawl

3651238 also Celestia is pissed with Alecia cos all she knows is that Alecia foalnapped Twilight at least from her perspective and since she knows that she's alone she took out her anger on the one person(or pony) she thought responsible for it. i'm sorry if it still does not seem good enough but i'll look at it again tomorrow as it is like 3am in the morning and i can't edit when i'm sleepy. again sorry if you don't like the chapter :P

i mean imagine just for one moment that your mother/caring teacher was the first lady of the united states(no offence) and you being her child was supposedly kidnapped by a person from a hostile country. Now you find your mother finds the person but she doesn't find you. Do you think she will maintain her anger if she doesn't find you in the one place she expected to find you? do you think that she will contain her anger or let loose and beat up the person who supposedly kidnapped you. Now i agree that burning the house down is a bit overboard and i'm willing to change that but tell me which part of celestia's anger other than that did not make sense? again i'm sorry if i have offended you but i just wanted to give you an example that people who have power also have emotions no matter how hard they keep it locked in their heart

Lol just realised that cos of a typo alecia's name became from Alicia---> Alecia
I feel as if Alecia is more unique so maybe keeping it...

Damn! Celestia sure is scary when she's angry. And just who s this pony that has saved our beloved changeling? Curiouser and curiouser... :trixieshiftright:
Random moustache! :moustache:

3651268 I don't doubt that Celestia would be angry, I would be to in a similar situation. What I doubt is that Celestia would outright kill someone in a fit of rage. A lesser pony may be but the millennia old alicorn that has maintained herself a fair and just ruler for hundreds of years and possesses the accompanying wisdom? Combine that with the fact she doesn't know anything about the situation for certain and just eliminates the only chance she has to fined out?

The angriest we have ever seen Celestia is when Discord escaped and even then she wasn't this nasty. All other times she has kept her cool quite well.

Maybe if she knew Twilight had been heavily abused or killed she would be hurt enough to go off the handle like that but I suspect she would have far more satisfaction from forcing such an offender through a trial. At this point clapping her in iron and slapping her around a bit would be what I would expect, maybe burn the house down but not with anyone inside.

And no, I'm not really offended per-say, I just don't think you've accurately portrayed Celestia. Sorry if this feels like a bit of a rant, just trying to make my point of view understood.

This is really good...:yay:

I really like the concept, and I can see Foal Twilight reacting this way to every situation she's been put in so far...

DAT CLIFFHANGER THO :flutterrage: I can't not love you for this story though, curse my kindness :facehoof:

I'm still facedesking and laughing, at the same time, about all of them thinking there is some evil big mastermind behind everything.:rainbowlaugh:

They just won't listen to poor filly Twilight... :fluttershysad:

How dumb can you get, I mean, really. :facehoof:

I expect great thing from you.:moustache:

3665771 Yeah Go Twily YOU SHOW EM WHO's BAWS:rainbowdetermined2:

Btw was thinking of changing the title to [The Unicorn and The Changeling] should i do it?:twilightsmile:

or rather [The Filly and The Changeling]

Also if any of u guys are artists could you please draw cover art for me? i can't draw for shit lol:twilightsmile:

Oh you... Future Twilight and the Doctor? This gonna be good!
threadbombing.com/data/media/2/THISGONBGUD.gif

3670653 Initially it was supposed to be just this story but... :twilightsmile:

Btw are any of u guys getting this glitch in the views column where even tho it currently says i have 392 views when i actually have 2335 views?

Comment posted by Finnie Nara deleted Dec 23rd, 2013

*uses telepathy skills to read Alecia's thoughts at the changeling reveal spell...* "Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap"

3674460 How did you know?!!?!:twilightoops:

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