• Published 15th Dec 2013
  • 1,056 Views, 47 Comments

Prompt-A-Day Collection - Admiral Biscuit



A collection of random stories from the Prompt-A-Day group's challenges

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10: Nope!

The Rich mansion has exactly twenty-four rooms.

This is a well-known fact around Ponyville. It’s frequently the topic of conversation, as nopony knows what use twenty four rooms in a house would have. Conversations often hinge around the purpose of each room in the mansion. It’s assumed that Mr. Rich and Diamond Tiara each have their own bedroom and their own bathroom; some ponies believe that Mrs. Rich has her very own bathroom, as well. Naturally, no mansion is complete without a kitchen, dining room, foyer, ballroom, and living room of some sort. It’s assumed that Mr. Rich has a study, and there may or may not be a private library. However, a simple count would indicate that is only around a dozen rooms.

Debate continues on what does or does not count as a room, but that’s really irrelevant. The fact is, there are twenty-four of them. Naturally, somepony needs to clean every one of those rooms—except the kitchen. The kitchen is the duty of the cook, who will allow nopony into her domain.

I know twenty-three of the rooms intimately, more intimately than even the Rich family. I have been into every nook and cranny of every one of those rooms with a mop and dustcloth. I have cleaned every pane of every window in the house, inside and out.

I know where every bit and bauble in the mansion is located. I know that Diamond Tiara has exactly 257 dolls, and I even know what order to put them in. She is very upset if they are out of order.

This was not a bad job. I wish to stress that I enjoyed the job very much, from the time before Diamond was born, throughout her foalhood, and through most of her education. I enjoyed the job until yesterday afternoon, in fact, when I quit suddenly.


I usually did a little tidy-up in Diamond’s room right before she got back from school. It was kind of a routine for me—major cleaning was done on Moon’s Day, as she had spent the weekend messing up her room. For the rest of the week, there was little enough to do, except for a quick tidy-up. I nosed the door, expecting to just have to neaten her bed, straighten out her desk, and be done.

The door was locked, which was odd. Of course, I had a key. When I pushed the door open, I heard an odd scuffling from inside, but the thing which caught my attention immediately was a large crate in the center of the room. One side had been pried off, and splintered boards were strewn about the floor haphazardly.

I levitated the crate and all the boards out into the hallway. I could deal with those later. I was curious what had come in the crate—and who the idiot deliveryponies had been that had just left it in the room like that—for there was nothing new in the room.

Strangely, her bedspread was also gone. She’d had a habit of hiding her covers when she was a foal and still wet the bed occasionally, but that was long ago. The rumpled sheets were still on the bed, so that was an unlikely theory.

Sighing at the confusing behavior of young mares, I opened the closet intending to find another bedspread. Whatever had happened to the other was none of my business anyway.

Inside her closet, in the very back—beyond her formal dresses and saddles—the comforter was draped across some large . . . something. With a exasperated huff, I grabbed it off with my telekenesis and pulled it towards myself. I took one step back out of the closet before I realized that there was some kind of . . . creature hidden under the blanket. It had skin like a pig, but weird monkey arms.

I flung the blanket back at it and slammed the door shut, just as Diamond walked into the room.

“What’s all the commotion?”

“Get back, miss! There’s a monster in your closet!”

“Pfft.” She waved a hoof at me. “That’s just a human. Lyra was talking about how all the cool ponies had them as pets, so I asked daddy and he got me one. It came this morning, but I didn’t have any time to play with it before school.”

She boldly walked into the closet and with some scuffling and a meaty thump, coaxed it out. It was clutching the blanket around itself with one hand, while the other rubbed its backside.

“See? Nothing to worry about. You just have to hit it a couple of times, and it cooperates.” She grinned at me. “I’m sure you’ll have no trouble with it.”

“Me?”

“Well, I have to go to school, so somepony will have to take it on walks and give it baths. And feed it too, I suppose.” Her eyes hardened. “You have to, ‘cause you’re my maid.”

“Not anymore.” I tossed the feather duster on the floor. “I’ll have nothing to do with this monster.”

“I’ll tell daddy!” She shouted as I left. “He’ll fire you.”

“He can’t,” I said smugly. “I already quit. Good day, miss.”

Author's Note:

Prompt: Screw it, you didn't sign up for this! 500-1k

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Comments ( 11 )

4379924 That would be a disaster worse than an extinction level event. :rainbowlaugh:


4379929 If I went into an abandoned factory I'd leave with every little bit of old machinery I could find. :raritywink:


4379946 Online arguments are fun, when you're on the side-lines with the popcorn watching, and not actually in it. :derpytongue2:


4379977 Yeah, I can see it too. I can see it very well actually...
derpicdn.net/img/2014/2/17/554626/full.png

(Though this is the earth pony master race version. :rainbowwild:)

4380020

Though this is the earth pony master race version

Or maybe these from the show . . . and let's not forget the Royal Guards; there are a suspiciously large number of blue-eyed white-coated stallions.
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130218084132/mlp/images/3/32/Crescendo_ID_S3E13.png

4380137 Yeah, but somehow I don't think those mares have the swastika cutiemark. :rainbowwild:

... Or are as glaringly bright blonde and white.


Isn't it canon that the Royal Guard's armour is enchanted to make them look like that? Celestia must be part Nazi. :moustache:

No matter, grey will always be better. :raritywink:
fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/142/8/4/octavia_evening_gown_commission_by_longinius_ii-d6666gp.jpg

Octavia my love. :heart:

:derpytongue2:

4380180

Isn't it canon that the Royal Guard's armour is enchanted to make them look like that? Celestia must be part Nazi

I don't think it's official canon. We've seen one earth pony guard remove his helmet, and his mane matched the crest on the helmet, and of course we've seen Shining not in armor, but that could be coincidence.

Based on the variety of colors that the ordinary ponies have, and the very few different colors the Guards have, I do think that their armor is enchanted, but it has not been confirmed in canon, to the best of my knowledge.

4380222 Hmm, I thought it was canon. Either way though, I agree that it's the most likely explanation, seeing as how finding that many identical stallions would be near impossible with what we know of ponies and their colour patterns. :rainbowwild:

5732262

I think the link to "Associated Blog Post" goes to the wrong place.

You're right. Odd. There is no blog post for this story, and never was.

Perfect for an 8 year old kid. Dozens of Quonset huts, including what had been the base Hospital, decaying frame buildings, lots of deserted nooks and crannies - it's amazing that I lived through it. Much fun was had.

In the small town where I grew up, there was an abandoned cannery a few blocks from our house--easy bike-riding distance. No fences, security patrols, or anything like that. Just lots of concrete to ride the bikes on (loading docks were fun!), and plenty of broken windows to let us get inside.

5878994

"Do Not Enter" could become the start of some sort of post-apocalyptic renewal story, I think.
How much time had passed, that the village forgot about the coal mine?

It could be, although I wasn't thinking of it that way. I was imagining that the mine played out, or else it wasn't safe. The way I imagined it, all the locals would know it had been there, but that it had been closed long enough that nopony really thought much of it any more.

If they happen to have a blacksmith (who could also be a farrier) they'd want coal for the forge--even if it was the soft bituminous type described. Even soft coal burns hotter than wood.

Only if her forge would still take coal--otherwise it's pretty useless. I've seen abandoned ore processing facilities up north, and some of them still have iron-bearing rocks scattered around (presumably dropped during transportation) that aren't valuable enough for anybody to bother with. I'd imagine if you walked along the railroad tracks in the Powder River Basin or in the Appalachians, you could get all the coal you'd want--but what would you do with it?

Having a coal mine about five miles away could eventually turn that village into an important place. There'd be a sombre time when they found those nameless victims--maybe they'd name the mine for them? "The Lost Fillies" or something.

That's true--the alternate view is that more modern mining techniques could make it a productive mine again. It would make for an interesting continuation if they did, and they discovered the bones of the lost fillies inside the mine.

Bravo on not only knowing what an adz (alt: adze) is, but how it was used and what sort of marks it left. Nice researching!

Thanks!

5880043

The only power greater than that of an alicorn princess: The Schedule.
Of course, nopony will ever ask where she was or what she was doing that made her nearly late at her own show.

Technically, I don't think she could be late for her own show, since the sun won't rise until she tells it to.

Why did it stop in 2014?

8286093
The prompt a day group kinda fizzled, unfortunately.

The way the folders were grouped, it was stories for prompts 1-10, 11-20, etc., so that's how I made my stories.

And then I wound up having other things I wanted to do, so I never went and did all of them. Every now and then I think about picking up where I left off and doing a few more.

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