Richard "Dick" is a true genius by birth, slacker by choice. However, when he finds himself in a world filled with ponies, he doesn't change all that much. These are his stories and adventures ranging from the silly encounters with crazy ponies all the way to the ways he he breaks the boredom in the small town of Ponyville.
BTW, this is an experiment, I've not tried comedy and I'm working to improve my dialogue (If you can come up with a better title for this story, I'm all ears). Each chapter will be a different event from the silly to the mundane turned silly. Hope you enjoy! Please comment, it helps me improve!
Chapters (5)
Not really feeling it so far. I suppose it'll pop up sometime in the future when more chapters are done.
Does this have anything to do with rvb?
You've got the whole classic comedy thing going here and so far I'm enjoying it.
3627160
No sadly, I wish I was a good enough writer to even think about attempting something as awesome as RvB.
3629305
Glad to here it!
"Because upon seeing how stressed that lovely mare was, I decided it was my duty to relieve her of that tension and give her a good Dicking."
3635776
...Umm, what? I'm sorry but what? I think I'm missing something.
3636157
He groped her. He's being a smartass to annoy Sparklebutt for reasons.
His name is 'Dick'.
Verbing the noun gives you Dicking.
Nap on the floating couch! Sleep the whole way there!
3643401
That's how it's done!
The peanut butter raises more questions than it answers..... a lot more. Many that I do not want answered.
Only thing you can do better is write longer chapters.
it kinda feels like there should be an"of" there.
5039049
Thanks, I'll fix it now.
needs a to.
this part seems like it needs fixing somehow.
5039072
I'll try something
Ok, though I don't know how to fix that second thing
needs an of. or you could word it "on top of the grassy hill."
add a the in there.
would it be rocketship or rocket ship?
add an s
5039099
Gotcha and it's both ways for Rocketship. I believe that's one of those personal prefernce type of things
the
take a guess.
take another guess.
and another.
I'd probably write it like.
"That's the craziest thing you've ever heard?!"
get rid of the comma and add a period after you.
5039112
Awesome, I'll do it now. Thanks for your help.
finished reading.
I'd suggest that you make some sort of flashback scene on how he got to Equestria, because there is not enough back story to really get to know him. and it kind of feels like that there is no thought out story line. so if you haven't already, you might want to figure out what you want to happen by the end of the story. like have a rough and basic skeleton for it.
you probably might want to add some more narration to this, and maybe somehow make the jokes better, they seem somewhat . . . . meh.
well. that was my first proffesional-ish criticism or whatever you want to call it. hope it helps.
5039128
I don't have a definite end but I do have a plot that I was saving the "How he got to Equestria" parts for. A tiny bitof his life before was hinted at the end of the third chapter. Also this was a bit of a large experiment to see if I could show a charaters traits and way of thinking through dialogue alone amoungst other things but I appear to have failed in that front as of now
Thank you so much for the critisim and I'll try to make it better
5039150 ya. the story somewhat felt like.
5039157
Hmmm
The Daring Doo conversation reminded me of this [youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=V98soOyQWKY]
Now I'm curious as to what the other rumors are.
Da fuq? *Pictures one of his ears sliding down the side of his head*
7245546
Whoops
7245995
not mad; we all make mistakes...just that mental image....
7249090
Like this I assume?