"So, let's start with your name."
"Twilight, you know my name."
"Well, I have to fill out this form so I'd appreciate a little cooperation."
"So what your saying is, suddenly, now that your filling out some form, my name has vanished from your databanks, is that it?"
Twilight sighed, she got the feeling it was going to be a long day.
"And I thought we were friends, Twilight. How could you?"
Twilight rolled her eyes, "Just say your name."
"Fine, my name is Dick."
"Your full name."
"Richard Dick."
"..."
"Ugh, Richard Dick Zathandrapuss the Third."
Twilight let out a another heavy sigh, "We both know that's not your last name."
"I thought you forgot my full name, and now your telling me that what I say isn't my name. Will you make up your mind?"
"I will, as soon as you give me your last name," Twilight rebutted.
"You didn't even know last names were a thing 'til I got here, and here you guys don't even have last names, so why is my actual last name so freaking important? And since last names have no meaning here, why can't I just change to something cool like Zathandrapuss, huh?"
"...Rick."
"And while we're on the subject of names, why are you the only one who calls me that, huh? Everyone else is content with 'Dick' or even 'Richard' but you chose that name."
"What, I like that name."
"Well I don't," He said, arms crossed.
"All the more reason to keep calling you that."
"Can we just move on?"
"I suppose. Ok, what is your species?"
"You know that too, Twilight. I'm human."
"See, now was that so hard?"
"Yes, yes it was. I am more than a little sure that a small part of me just died."
Twilight ignored him, "Ok, what is your gender?"
"YOU KNOW THAT TOO!"
"Why do you have to be so difficult?"
"I'M NOT BEI-," Dick put his face in his hands then slid them slowly down it, "Twilight, How long have you known me? Like two months, I've been staying with you. You know more than enough to fill out the basic info portion."
"Ok, I'm sorry. Here, just give me a minute."
"Thank you," Dick said as he got up off the sofa and strolled around the main room of the library in which he, Twilight, and Spike currently inhabited. The main room was large, it had to be in order to fit all of these books. Nothing but shelves of books which were actually the walls of the tree house. Dick chuckled quietly to himself, Twilight really got mad when he made the argument that they lived in a tree house the first time, he was beginning to think that perhaps it was time to bring that back up. It might be just as funny as before or it will become a weird inside joke between them, either way seemed worth it.
"Alright, I need you for this part."
"Why of course, my dear Twilight. I now return to thee." He replied in his best Shakespearean accent.
Twilight rolled her eyes as he took his seat, "Ok, now why are you here?"
"Ok, I'm a nice guy so I'll give you a choice of joke. I can either go the whole 'birds and bees' route or the whole 'I live here' route, your choice."
"I'll take the third option where you don't joke around and I finish this form before the year is out."
"Pfft, you're no fun."
"Now please answer the question."
"I'm here because of the court order."
"Do you know what the court order is for and why you got it?"
"Why I got it, I got it for no reason. I didn't do anything wrong."
"Well, actually you got drunk with Pinkie Pie and vandalized the Mayor's office. When she showed up for work, you and Pinkie were still there and you tried to-"
"I know very well what happened, thank you very much."
"How do you know?"
Dick sighed, "Pinkie recorded the whole thing."
Twilight had to stifle a laugh, "Ok, now back to the other question. Do you know what the order was for?"
"No."
"It's for psychiatric evaluation, make sure your stable up there." She pointed to his head.
"I'm not crazy, I was however incredibly drunk."
"I know, I never said otherwise."
"Not to be rude but how are you even qualified to give a psychiatric evaluation? And since we live in the same house, wouldn't your evaluation by more than a little biased?"
"I've dabbled in psychology and after your last evaluation caused that mare to change careers to become a janitor and live alone forever, the court felt that I was the only one for the job. Biased or not, should a piece of cake."
"I don't need a psychiatric evaluation, ok? Besides, it's not like they're going to send my to jail or something."
"Well, no you're right they won't, but they will send you to Princess Celestia and have her decide your fate."
"Can I take that option?"
"No, just help me finish this form and then you can go, we can do the actual evaluation later, sound fair?"
"Ugh, fine. Let's get this over with."
"Thank you. Now, why did you fondle the Mayor?"
Dick sighed felling that this was going to be a long day.