• Member Since 20th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen Mar 3rd, 2021

Raymanguy


Blah, blah, blah. Words and jokes and stuff.

T

Dear Princess Celestia,

This may be part of a class assignment but do feel like I need to speak to someone that might care. There's been a few things that's happened recently that I need to get of my chest.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 32 )

This was a well written story, I really enjoyed it.
There are a few spelling errors however but they are few and far between.

Sincerely
Silverstain

My only real complaint is the language in the letter, honestly it sounds like an adult wrote it and not a foal. But other than that this is well done, and yes I would like to see more

3959003
Thanks

3959030
Sorry:fluttershbad:

3959046
Thanks. In the story, I put in the part where he said he wasn't sure if his old school was far ahead or if he was just that smart. He's highly intelligent for his age which is why he can process his loneliness to such a level. While his mother was gone, he had plenty of time to read. Thanks again for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it.:pinkiehappy:

3962427
Still... then again he is trying to be all formal for the princess...

Dude write more and this story was fuckin awsome!!

PLEASE WRITE MORE!!!!!!! I want to read more:pinkiehappy:

4412434
I'm working on and epilouge:twilightsheepish: It'll tie everything up that the only way to continue it would be to make a whole legit fic out of it:twilightsheepish: Though I've kinda lost the will to write but I am trying.:twilightsheepish:

Interesting concept. However, the story felt rather choppy and the sentences dodn't flow together very well. I would advise you to make it work together better.

4572618
Thanks! Do you have any idea how I might do that?

4572627 Since this isn't a grammatical or spelling issue, I would essentially have to rewrite most of this. What I would do is try to fix run-on and fragment sentences, give it less of a telling and more of a showing feel, that type of thing.

4572642
Well he is telling her though. He wrote her a letter telling her about his problems just to get it open:twilightsheepish: I'll try and see if I can fix the run on thing.

4572660 Got a point, but maybe explain what happened instead of being vague and mysterious. It left it kinda open-ended and unfinished, if you ask me.

4572671
I'm not teying to negate your points or anything. However, this is also from his point of view. He doesn't know what happened and told her everything he knew. Asfor the Celestia thing. It was open-ended in case those who read it wanted to make up their own ending in their head or if I wanted to do an epilogue, which I am:twilightsheepish:

4572745 Okay then. It's your story. When do you think you'll finish the epilogue?

4572800
Well, I really appreciate your coomments and things and I was just explaining myself. Sorry if I came off as a butthole.:twilightsheepish:

Not sure. You haven't any idea how many different stories I'm working on at once:twilightsheepish:. I'm trying to get it done soon though.

This story was good. Really good. But how did the letter get mailed to her in the first place? (An epilogue tying up ends couldn't hurt either.)
Also I think 'carry' should be 'carried'

4573164
Thanks for the comment and for catching that:twilightsheepish:. Actually, thanks to your comment, it gave me a great idea for the epilogue:pinkiehappy:

4623282
The epilogue is coming and will give even MORE feels:pinkiehappy: If I do my job right:twilightsheepish:

4624160
It's currently sitting pretty at 1444 words and it's only 60% done:twilightsheepish:

4624225
We'll see:twilightsheepish: Hope to finish it and get it out within the week but that may or may not happen. Even when it's done I still have to edit it:twilightsmile:

I actually quite like this. The format is something different, at least to me, and I think the sad tone is pulled off well, especially connecting the subject to Celestia's background.

I did notice one possible error (I suppose it may be intentional), "Still, we would talk for what seemed like hours we stuff we had been doing." - seems like an "about" is missing in there, to me in place of the second to last "we" would make sense.

4944010
Thanks, glad you liked it. And thanks for catching that mistake:twilightsheepish:. I'll go change it.

It's a hard feeling to descirbe.

*describe

5043889
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I need an editor:twilightsheepish: Thanks

61 weeks and 3 days ago you stated “The epilogue is coming and will give even MORE feels If I do my job right“ wha. happened

6390837
Lots of things. Moved house, lost internet, and been trying to get back on track. But I tell you what. I can PM the first section of the epilogue. I'm way further along than just the bit I'll send but since you cared enough to come back and liked the story enough ask what happened so it's the least I can do. Unless you don't want to see it which is cool too.:twilightsheepish:

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