• Member Since 19th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen April 22nd

JrWubMaster


I enjoy watching MLP and while no new episodes are out I spend time reading and writing FiMfictions.

T

An alternate ending to the evil ending to Kiss of the Dark by Soothing Stone. King Sombra survived the attack from princesses and fled his castle with the Queen of Shadows, his wife Twilight Sparkle. This is the story of how they rebuild their empire and overthrow Celestia and Luna.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 51 )

Keep up the good work.:twilightsmile:

Comment posted by Zhero236 deleted Oct 30th, 2013

great I waited this long ago. well done I hope more :yay::yay::yay:

3421187

Thanks mate. Will do.

3421284

Means a lot to know that i'm going a good job. I'll try and make it stay good

You nneed a comment? Well look who just stumbled in here! A Sonic Brony! Well, I have to say, this interested me and actually gave me a great idea on how the story was like even though I haven't read it yet. You did a swell job on making sure the pace was just right and the grammar wasnt bad. This may be your only review, but I hope you're satisfied with it!

3700803 Thank you for your review of the story. I try my best with these things.

Oh yes!! It's good to see this story updated :twilightsmile::heart:

yes

3714498
W!T!F! IS YOUR PHOTO

3714580 Why? Is just a Pinkie clone being destroyed by Twilight's magic

LET THERE BE MORE I TELL YOU!

3714498

Your photo makes me laugh! I can't breathe! I'm laughing to hard!

Sombra was sitting next to Twilight at a table eating some pancakes that Twilight was able to summon up using the creation spell after enjoying a nice shower together.

I SWEAR THAT JUST SAID PANCAKE SPELL!!!!!!!

what happens next lets watch and find out

NEED MORE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:flutterrage:



Other than that, this story is exceptionally well written, if a bit slow on updates.

Sincerely,

Bringer of Despair

NEED MOAR CHAPTERS. PLEASE HURRY UP WITH THEM. :applecry:

A few paragraphs is not a chapter, it's ok to have something
short for the first chapter, but after that you have to work on making your chapters longer. In my opinion the minimum number of words a chapter should have after at least two chapters should be around 3000 words. Be in mind I'm not hating, I am just giving you some constructive criticism.

3955379

Thanks for the advise. I try to make them as quick as possible so the readers get their story as soon as possible. I'm trying my best here.

4089801 No don't do that, Quality is going to go so much farther than getting chapters out quickly. Yes some people can pull of quality and fast updates, but only really experienced authors can do that, and I am afraid that you are not one of them. Personally I would recommend re writing all your chapters and making them longer, much longer, because if you keep doing what you're doing your story is going to fall flat on its face. Once again I don't mean to hate, but I'm going to have to be honest with you, at its current state your story kinda sucks. You have good ideas, but the execution is poor. It's obvious that you are currently a novice, and that's ok, we were all novices at one point, but you should do some serious practicing, and make a lot of improvements to your writing before you start posting more content online. Remember once again this is constructive criticism, and I want you to succeed. I know what you're thinking right now 'This is my way of writing, and I like it this way', but if you want to be a better author then you're going to have to suck your pride up and listen to other more experienced people. If you want, you can message me if you have any questions, because I would be more than happy to help you. :pinkiehappy:

4089861

I'll do that. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on my work.

P.S. I was actually thinking about episode 18 of season 4, which has nothing to do with my story.

Need more and if you need a twist feel free to use my oc Prince Dark Bane the son of King Sombra.

Nice story. I will read the other one but so far this one earns a special sign that me and a friend made :pinkiesad2::pinkiecrazy:

Is this in hiatus, or is going to continue?

so.. beautiful... I LOVE IT!!!!!!!! :rainbowlaugh::heart::heart::heart::pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy::yay: MORE :flutterrage:!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4939611

thanks for the love

will try to get more chapters done soon.

Schoolwork too hard

I can't wait to see what happens next. :twilightsmile:

I know that villins aren't to be trusted, but sometimes the villins desever some care.

Thanks.:twilightsmile:

I think that Sombra isn't all bad... He just had rough childhood.

yay go sombra!!! go twilight!!! let them know true fear :pinkiecrazy:

i cant wait for next chapter :twilightsmile:

I love this story sooo much. Its a fallow up on Kiss of shadow right? It my favoirt Sombra X Twilight story, cus Sombra really falls in love with her. I love you made another ending, there Sombra dosn't die.

5347462

thanks for the love mate. sory it taking too long to update.

too much stuff going on.

Comment posted by Ice Feather deleted Feb 2nd, 2015

5349613

I understand. I have that problem too.

oh, here's something for you to read: Diamond Princess

5912263

Thanks for recommending it. Seems good so far

Are you ever going to complete this?

I hope that you will update this soon, I really like this story and I want to see what happens.

You doing great keep going and i hope you update soon

I know I'm late for this story, but is this ever gonna continue?

Before I read this, what is the Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?

Pokes with a stick Is it dead?:fluttershysad:

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