Dusty Armor, though he prefers Dusk Armor. Only thirteen years old but full of adventure and even showing a talent for magic...today is his fourteenth birthday and Princess Twilight is pulling out all the stops to make it the best yet, but when a gift sparks questions she doesn't want to answer, he seeks out the answers on his own. Learning more and more about his father takes him down a path that Twilight can only pray he rejects....
( Little something I made for Dusty Armor because I like the idea of Dark Magic and punk ...)
Sequel based off of Kiss of the Dark by Soothing Stone
Art by Izeer
Chapters (10)
Thank you for writing a sequel, I look forward to reading more :)
Um I might be just tired/ buzzed but how is he thirteen and just today is his tenth birthday??
corona320 Yeaaaaa....two drafts got mixed and I missed that one, i'll look over it again today and make the necessary edits.
Hmm i was thinking about making sequel based on the evil ending but i doubt i will make it anytime this century due to my endless flip flop between witch story i want to write and add that i get one new idea of stories per day...
But enought of my rambling lets get reading
Done reading it and i think i have seen before
You know the "keeping father or mother identity hidden and then its found out anyway" witch could lead to the dark side if you aren't careful
Now ahem!
MOAR!
Finally!
Could use some looking over, there are a few things that dont seem quite right. I'm reading this on my phone, so it's hard to point things out (I might try when I'm on my laptop later), but it's just a suggestion.
I liked the original story, even if the writing hit a few problems near the end, and this looks like it has potential. Will track it.
3194604 I don't doubt that it could be revised better but for now Im going to rest and take the next chapter a bit slower now that i've gotten the initial starting excitement out of my system. I would love to hear a critique though.
Since it's looking like I wont be able to get to my laptop today, here's a few poorly composed thoughts before they are all lost to the void.
There are a few persistent grammatical errors. Example: You tend to, and since I don't know the proper term for it, bear with me, make pauses happen like this:
The mad author, with his...Interesting ideas on penmanship, continued to scribble away, cackling madly into the night.
What you want to do is simply put a space between the three dots and the follow-up. Like so.
Discord, with his giant lazer rifle-minigun... Thing, destroyed the city of Germane, and then proceeded to laugh with his good friends Boba Fett and Carmen Sandiego.
It may have been a waste of time to create small scenarios just for the purpose of explaining a small grammatical error, but fuck it. Also, my generically dispensed advice to you would be what you already plan to do: Take things a little slower, and reading over what you already have written with a tad bit more scrutiny, as such can protect your story from small errors such as what is written below.
"Alright alright, it sounded like you had a blast. Now when we get in you need to shower and get dressed, Princess Celsestia and Luna is coming down to have dinner tonight."
I am about eight-five percent sure that she should have said "sounds" instead of sounded. Is should have been are... There are a lot of little things that don't mean a lot on their own, and mean nothing to a large group of people, but will irk some. Another bit of generic advice to dispense might be to get an editor: Another set of eyes, willing to tell you when something is wrong, and even possibly when you're about to make a horrible mistake. Believe me: Editors save lives.
It's too early to tell whether it will actually be a good story, but there is potential. Good luck, and remember: It's not a race. People worth paying attention to will understand that quality takes time.
[P.S. OH GOD, WALL OF TEXT I AM SO SORRY.}
3195046 Holy cow! You're right about taking it slower, I never saw that mistake until now so i'll review the current chapter before I start the next one. As for getting an editor, i'm hoping that Soothing Stone will have the time to take a look every so often. If not i'm sure someone I know might, thanks again and I hope you like the rest of the story!
Oh, and can I feature this in my next feature blog?
3200647 By all means!
3200661 Here it is!
TheOverlord wants Dusk Armor to embrace The Darkness.
Hmn, this looks like it could be interesting, I take it it's based on the "good" ending?
As a close friend of Soothing Stone, the author of Kiss of the Dark to which this story is an unofficial sequel of, I must say I am interested in how you will take this. I am adding this to my Read Later list.
Fun Fact: Soothing's OC (Twilight and Sombra's supposed child) was supposed to be named Dusk Trail, not Dusk Armor.
3238420 Thanks, I hope you like it and just as an update, after more proofreading and editing I should have the next chapter up tonight and hopefully within the hour. With nothing to do but wait working a seven hour watch I should have this up no matter what.
And I know about Dusk Trail, I talked with Soothing because I already had a name idea and was working different things around it so I used a good compromise I think
3238649
Alrighty then. Just making sure, because that little change bothered me a bit, but not anymore!
I'll read this tomorrow when I have time. Working on a fic of my own.
King Sombra even in death your crusade for revenge continues
First Whats up with the codenames second Sombra is invading others minds now how long before somepony turns into Sombra 2
I found no problem with the writing but i think i somtimes lost track of who was talking at some places also you can never have too many paragraphs in my oppinion easier too read that way
3280475 in retrospect I couldve explained why sombra could do that. The way I see it he still isnt attached to anything except the crown and memories. Being a guard long before kotd and he knew what happened at the crystal empire and it was all he needed. The only code name i used was for sombra, stuff like HMCS is a title, not a name. Kilo Sigma was for looks, pure and simple but it adds a connotation that deep down their all still afraid of sombra so their trying to disassociate him and make the king a list insted of a person. I'll go back and add to explain better and spilt some longer paragraphs once im off duty.
3280587
Well my first questions where retorical but good awnser anyway
Well I've read the first couple of chapters and I have to say I am very impressed with this. I think it is a worthy sequel to KOTD and would love to see this to fruition. I had an idea for a one shot of KOTD with my own interpretation of Sombra and Twilight's son.
3281169 im glad you liked it, i'd love to see what your interpretation is when you submit it.
sp1.fotolog.com/photo/17/54/80/darth_xeviuz/1201302345_f.jpg
this entire chapter in a nutshell.
Note: That's my great great great great great grandson.
I played this at the very first word of the chapter, amazing
oh god, yes!
Please say this happens
Twilight gets custody of Dusty during the week.
Sombra gets custody of Dusty on the weekend and holidays.
Nuff said
so is this where it ends or is there more
3576022 im trying to wrap it up, so its almost done!
3577523 understood
Why is Applebloom being referred to as a guy??
And it ended so tragic...
3589157 I looked it over again, can you pull out the moment applebloom is referred to as a guy? 3589310 I hope you liked it still!
3589526 I still do
wait this is how it ends..........NOOOooooooooooooooo!
3599449 YES...YES!
3599631 1.2.3 Explosion!
This is adorable!!!
3678556 i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/162/317/2vA1a.png?1313349760
Whhyyyyyyyy??
ugh just... tell me why...
I'd seriously have preferred that you kept sombra alive... cuz he's evil awsomesauce
and the gloating was entirely unnecessary andmade no sense
just... why? Ugh...
3764275 Here's why
Um. I know this is your story and everything but....wasn't he named Dusk Trail at the end of Legacy of the Dark and have a dark purple coat and black mane? Or did you start your sequel before Soothing Stone wrote Legacy or the Dark?
4086449 I did start before LotD
OH NO NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, Nooooooooooo!
How is he still alive
I have a bad feeling about this here situation
wile this book wasn't as good as its prequel, Kiss in the Dark, it did do a good job on continuing the story.
sir Author, I give to you.... 5 moustaches
your not bad
5306274 Me too.
I love this story...
And can I use some of your characters?
For one my stories, and I credit you.
Night
6204722 Sorry my response has been so late. I suppose theres no harm, send me a link of what ya make with them. ^=^