• Member Since 17th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 17th, 2017

Blazing Justice


"Uh... What did you say?" "I said your wife is dead." The tax collector says, "I came to burn your house and dance on her corpse." I give this some thought, "...Okay! Right this way..."

T

Blazing Justice, mostly called Blaze, lives with his best friends in Ponyville. They go on some pretty wacky adventures, along with the Elements of Harmony... Eventually.

What adventures, you ask? Misadventures! Read and find out.

Chapters 1 - 4 were edited after release, The next few will be actually edited beforehand.

Cover art done by Der Lampman

Proofread by: Rhino & My friend Spencer

Edited by: Fantasia Archsage

Disclaimer: OC's belong to their respective creators. Songs used belong to their companies and owners.
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Also, I'm not gonna take hate comments. I WILL take critique.
The difference:

Critique: Minor spelling errors, grammar is good. Fix some stuff. Bla bla bla.
Hate: This SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Please don't give me that garbage.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 39 )

Interesting I am still wondering where the negativity comes in it was alright, good for a self-insert... I lost some faith aat Dash, but men. Worse stories have been written. Objectively this story is good, very few grammatical errors if any.

This is a nice start. It was much better than I expected. I'll keep an eye on it

I do no understand where the dislikes come from. I have relatively enjoyed read this, contact me when chapter three comes out.

3525507 The dislikes were from the first draft, which was rushed, and eventually deleted.

3515763 OCs and self inserts are automatically shot down by a majority of readers. The negativity probably came from the fact that a vast amount of people looked at the cover, the name, and his profile picture and immediately disliked. It happens to a lot of people who throw up red flags unintentionally.

3526259 I'll say this little joke I picked up from E. NOT. A. SELF. INSERT!!!!!!! But I can see the mistake being made. I will clear that up real fast.

3526263 I'm not trying to insult you, but this is a self insert. Same name and appearance. It may not be a self insert of you, but it's a self pony insert. Again, I'm not trying to be rude, I'm trying to help in the most non offensive way I can.

3526263
>Not a self insert
>User name's Blazing Justice
>Filly pls

3526264 I see what you mean, and none taken. I feel stupid, and I think I misunderstood the meaning of self-insert. I took it as: "Put your real life personality and all into the story." I didn't think it meant what your saying, thank you for informing me on this. I feel so dumb.

3526269 To be frank, I'd tone down your character and also try to draw him yourself. That amount of clothing should be restricted to ponies who work in the industry or have high social standing (i.e. Fancy Pants or Hoity Toity). Also, even if you can't draw, a poorly drawn pony, in my opinion is much more respectable than a Pony Maker. Mad respect for drawings.

When writing an OC story, it's always a good idea to remember that nobody gives a shit about your genius original characters until you give us a reason to; i.e., giving us content that makes us empathize with them.

Just a friendly tip.

3526264>>3526267
There's a difference between a self-insert and an OC story.
My own story has my character of the same name as the main character, yet he is not me.
OC stories are not self-inserts.

3530386 As someone who has written nothing BUT OC stories, I can tell you that it doesn't matter. The way people see it is same name=self insert. It doesn't matter if that's what you intended or not.

3531148 I'm gonna intervene, because I don't want an argument here. Who cares if it's a self-insert if the story is good? I haven't heard a single helpful comment from you, you're just going on about it being a self-insert. So, please, if you don't like it because of that, get the hell out of my comments section.

3526259That's why I do not use my OC as an avatar or as my user name.

I have one qualm with this story. It is in the present tense even though you are describing the past.

3531370 That. Is. The. Point. Far too many people on this site will ignore, and sometimes even downvote stories on premise alone. That's exactly what I'm saying: the fact that this story seems like a self insert is probably pushing readers away. But hey, feel free to ignore everyone who tells you things you don't want to hear.

Anyway, here is what I'm trying to tell you as bare bones as I can make it: At face value, this looks like a self insert. Many bad self inserts have been written, and because of that, a vast amount of readers will simply skip over anything that even remotely seems like a self insert. Who cares if it's a self insert if the story is good? All 7 of your followers. Who isn't going to read it because it looks like a self insert REGARDLESS of whether or not it actually is? Nearly every other person on this site.

If you really want help on how to make a character that most people won't write off immediately, feel free to ask me. I'm not saying I'm the greatest in the world, but 3+ years of writing kind of makes me think I know what I'm talking about, and I really would be happy to help.

3555007 First off, tooke me long enough to look at the comments.

Secondly, I might start doing it in past tense, but that would come with some extra roadblocks

3656323

This is a pretty cool story! But I can see why people may see it as a self insert because your wife is RD and Mom is Celestia. Oh and if you need help with writing the story in past tence I'd be happy to help!

3656580 Thank you! I might take you up on that offer

3659092

"Yeah Dash! That's my girl!" I say.

"Huh? Your girl?" She says quizzically.

"Oops! That's for the future!" I say, rubbing the back of my head. And that's when Atom got his revenge.

"LEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYY HOOOOOOOFFKINS!" And from then on, Dash's mane and Atom were nonexistent.

Atom, you like my mom?

3676066
I don't understand anything in this comment...:derpyderp2:

This is an entertaining read, however you may consider spacing out the dialog a little bit. It seems a little blockish and hard to follow. Besides that, this is a good story.

While I'd say that this is far from the worst story I've read, it still has a few problems:

1. The pacing is a bit too fast for my tastes, so much happens in such a short amount of time.

2. Their mother is Celestia, ruler of Equestria and raiser of the sun. How didn't he know she was alive? Also, anyone who sees that will instantly spring from their seats and start screaming "Gary Stu!" at the top of their lungs; not saying that's what he is, just what some will perceive him as being.

Still, giving it an up-vote because, well... why not?

Are you waiting for word on which story I'd like you to read or have you already read one?

Alrighty then... This was definitely something interesting. Haven't read OC stories that are not bad in quite a while. But I'll agree with Slip Kid, the pacing gotta be a bit slower.

As for what I would like you to read, I guess this shall be an entertaining read

It's my first story, so we're on even footing here! :trixieshiftright:

3744074 In all honesty, I don't enjoy stories like those you write, but I'll try the one about Pink Sheep. Seems like the nicest one.

1) Slow the fuck down, got it!

2) In the next chapter, which I hope to get writing soon, it will be explained why he didn't know she was alive.

3744569

In all seriousness, that's just about my second darkest fic. My most light-hearted is Beyond the Vale, though it's fairly long so I get it that you may not want to read it. Warning though, Pink Sheep comes with hefty doses of wat

I'm enjoying this so far. My only major complaint is that the chapters are a little short, but I can get over it.

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