• Member Since 25th May, 2013
  • offline last seen Last Tuesday

Grenazers


T

It's been a year and a half since Rainbow Dash and Big Mac became a couple. In the beginning the two would hang out and go dates. However, obstacles soon came in between these two lovers and despite all the challenges they face, the two ponies would always have some time together.

Cover Art: Pencil-Hands

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 4 )

Rarely, and I do mean rarely, do I allow a stories up to down vote ratio determine if I should read it.

However, in this rare case it does sum it up perfectly.... it's meh.
It needs patched up with your choice of words in certain areas and the story is just somewhat... lacking.

The grammar could use a bit of help. Some sentences were constructed awkwardly, with one instance of 'the' and 'they' written right next to each other.

But other than that, it's still a solid one shot. The conflict was minor and resolved fairly quickly, but it's good for a short read.

The other group members should help you out.

Keep writing.

You say 'Yet another' as if it's a common thing.

Other than grammar and sentence structure, I liked it. The story was cute, and slightly cheesy (Which I like). So yeah, needs some rephrasing, but it's still okay.

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