• Published 27th Aug 2013
  • 5,422 Views, 205 Comments

Young Love Is The Tastiest - Pokonic



The heartwarming story about a young couple's first time together. Well, the mare is actually a disguised changeling princess preparing to gain enough love to enact her plans to take over large parts of Equestria. That might be important.

Comments ( 26 )

Well then. Sequel?

a day past her date of attack.

"Who was this changeling?" Twilight asked, holding a hoof to her mouth.
"It will be difficult to tell, Twilight. We know far too little about them. They obviously know little about us as well," Luna sighed. She could not help but feel a great sadness in her. Both for the ruined form before her, and for her sister, who looked on at the piles of dead changelings around them. The attack was swift, and equally futile. Within seconds the Gryphons had torn through a quarter of them, the ferocity of the changleings no match for the predatory warriors. The rest were killed by her, mostly from blasts of magic and violent spells, some under her own hooves. the scent of blood would stay in her nostrils for days.
The ony that Twilight was forced to slay was what changed the game. The moment Twilight was force to blast it, the force breaking its neck, both of the regal sisters realized it was originally a pony. The rumors were true............ Luna was too slow to stop Celestia. The little queen tried to fight back, but it was a wolf fighting a bear; valiant, but futile.
For the first time in nearly three decades, Celestia had killed. Her mane are alight with flame, her eyes burning red. There was no pity in her eyes for the slaughtered creatures. She did not hear the little queen cry out when Twilight killed her altered drone. Over the sounded of her flame and rage, all of reality fell silent to Celestia. And so did the queen. And if Celestia wasn't convinced otherwise, the entirety of changeling kind could be next.
If this little nymph was so easily to fool, the rest could be as well.

i dunno if i would follow the sequel if it comes out. Don't get me wrong, the story is good and all, I just started reading this thinking it was a story where the changeling wouldn't be so....forceful, or atleast not brainwash and convert what I thought to be her love unwillingly.

Still, good writing and story..

That's it? You mention have a dozen developing conflicts and then just end the story?

That's exceptionally disappointing.

4875741 I have plans for a general follow-up sequel, but I think this is a perfectly good ending point. This was never supposed to be a story about a OC taking over Canterlot. This was always going to be about a overconfident individual believing herself to be a almost martyr-like figure, even as she commits and prepares to commit acts just as bad, if not worse, then the ones she considers abhorrent and foolish.

Consider this the end of Sterling's story. It began with him as the protagonist and ended with him not existing at all. Carapace loves a shell of a pony, and she cannot comprehend what she has done. The aftermath for all this will either be added later, or be given it's own story.

I have to say, I'm a little disappointed with how this ended.

Ah well...perfect worlds are impossible to have.

Good story! Overall, I give it eight mustaches out of a possible ten!
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::duck::duck:

4875795 If you are disappointed, then the intended reaction is happening.

4875768 it really isn't. it is jarring and completely so. not to mention it kinda contradicts what she said about creatying intelligent changelings. if it has no will it is not intelligent.

and still sticking to my guns about the fact there is no way this plan would work. just cause they are fierce far from means they are effective combatants. it would be trivial for a trained guard to kill and untrained changeling. more so what would she expect to happen when they return? they would rip through all her defenses even if she took over and take her down in mere seconds.

Not trying to be annoying but sequel? :scootangel:

And thus the proof that the changelings should be utterly exterminated.

I have perfected the phage. Soon they will all die.

And I shall rejoice. :pinkiecrazy:

4875768

As others have said, it was a sudden end, but an end none the less. I have enjoyed the story from the start, I came for the kinky stuff with changelings, but stayed for the plot. Wait... :pinkiecrazy:

I would indeed read a sequel to this, and look forward to seeing it pop up whenever you have the time or desire to write it.

Lastly...

4.bp.blogspot.com/-X_20MTYDeM0/TuENN0L9EVI/AAAAAAAABdE/AjmrlMd-9dM/s1600/mlp_weirdest.jpg

...and...

i.imgur.com/84zHG.gif

4877928

Now all you need to do is find a way to give Phage to Carapace.

Or you could go absolutely nutso, lay down Phage, and then Thieves Auction without double-checking...

4883653 I was thinking just crop-dusting the whole planet with it. :pinkiecrazy:

An interesting story I can only liken to a car crash, in that things are looking interesting and then it all just stops jarringly.

Carapace has learned nothing and never really encounters any challenges. No conflict actually occurred, unless you count the brief struggles of the enslaved ponies. Sterling pretty much just died. It sort of glazes over her warping her 'king' and his changing mindset, so that doesn't really count so much from a tragedy or a horror standpoint.

I was expecting her to try and grow her forces under the increasingly watchful guard, or take over the city, or try to and lose, or feel some sort of growing realization of what she'd done to her love, or struggle with her instincts and overcome them, or.. something of that nature. But it just ends.

Sterling Sword did not answer, because he was just a drone.

Ending quote

um, ok have to wait for the next chapter then... :applejackunsure:

(Checking discription)

Wait, what?! You can't be serious...:rainbowhuh:

Do you know what your doing? You got fans man, and what your doing is slapping them all in the face! When I saw this

Sterling Sword did not answer, because he was just a drone.

... then this was playing out in my head i.imgur.com/uw2dTwr.jpg :trixieshiftleft:

Trust me when I say that this is not that bad of a story! Indigestion was great! It showed signs of how she may regret her desision and it's great that you leave room for development here! But the ending... if you could even call it an ending was really, really terrible... :facehoof:

Let me give you an exampel, the mass effect 3 ending sucked yes, but at least they gave us an ending...:ajbemused:

I would accept this, but only if you were cancelling the story, then it would be fine. But calling this finished... would be punishment for anyone trying to read it in the future! You can't just set up characters, come to this point and say

Finished!

NO! That's the mark of a bad writer!:trixieshiftleft:

There are 2 things you can do to fix this.

1) Click the cancelling button.

2) Actually finish the story.

*Sigh* This is not how you finish a story...

And remember please don't take this the wrong way! The story is ok and it is going places! Just not with this ending, in a million years...:twistnerd:

Comment posted by The Shade deleted Oct 5th, 2014

5308225 Emerald Gleam was always Carapace; there was probably a actual Emerald Gleam, but she never ended up anywhere near Canterlot. Carapace managed to get into Canterlot by pretending to be her, though.

5308368 Alright there is much you can do to improve this, but as some others have said, ending it here is a pretty bad point. as A sequel would basically be continuing a story line that didn't even solve a portion of it's conflicts. A good Idea if you wish to help Carapice understand the consequences of her actions, have her get caught by Twilight before she can finish her task in the palace.

5308472 Uh, there is a sequel. This story's over, for good. If you're looking at this in any way but a overblown attempt at disguising my headcanon about changelings in a way that people will read, than you're looking at it wrong.

Well damn. what happened to Sterling is downright nightmare fuel.

I like how often Carapace gets all weird when it comes to Sterling, I feel like in the sequel, she may be regretting turning him into a changeling.

*snerk* I see Flutter's friend-fiction about Applejack and futa!Rarity got published? :duck:

Uh huh... Well there's that I guess...

Well, that story devolved quickly. It went from clop, to interesting, to possible redemption, to Chrysalis wannabe very fast.

Well then, Carapace is THAT kind of character. I kinda hope that she learns why what she is doing is wrong; however it's strangely fitting that this has become a total nightmare fic...aside from the clop of course, but imagining mind control is freaky.

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