Thunderlane is the type of stallion other stallions would kill to be. For some reason mares find him irresistable. He likes the attention but he is still lonely. Having more options can actually make things, harder. The one pony that he would actually like to get to know is just out of reach. He doesn't want to lead anypony on. He doesn't want to hurt anyponies feelings. But, why can't he be happy.
Written in 1st person. My first fic from this perspective.
Has incidences of bad language and hints of sexual encounters.
Chapters (11)
Good job
also first comment? 
Thanks for the comment. I've written before but I wanted to try my hand at writing from the first person perspective. I though I might could make it a little more personal if I wrote it that way.
This certainly looks interesting! Going to dive into it.
Aww, how touching. I didn't cry or anything but how touching. I've never actually found myself at all interested in Thuderlane because I never found stallions in MLP particularly interesting but this on the other hand has actually piqued my interest somewhat.
3.5 Abides Out Of 5.
Abiding it like you momma: Respectively and with kindness (because I'm that kind of guy.)
Thunderlane doesn't get as much attention as Big Mac, Doctor Hooves/Time Turner, Caramel, or even Braeburn. I just wanted to show this awesome looking stallion some love.
I really like this story a lot, but there are two problems I see with this chapter. One is that there are a ton of grammar and spelling errors. Not quite enough to even bother me, but it's important to point out because that's a huge reason why people will downvote a fic.
Second, the writing, characterization, and dialouge is all good with the exception of the paragraphs starting at
It's way too much tell instead of show. You do a good job at the very end of the chapter when he thinks about rarity as someone who went on a date would do, but before then you just list a bunch of facts about his mom and dad and rumble, including " He was the best little brother I could ask for, he never complained about homework. He always brought home good grades. He had a good number of friends. And he always did his chores. I love him, more than I think I could love anypony else." These are all relevant to the fic, but there's no reason to just list all of this out right here.
If he visits his little brother when he's asleep that's a good opportunity to show how he feels about how he lost his parent and how he wants to raise rumble, but it wasn't done in a natural or interesting way here.
I edited chapter two a little. Is it any better now?
Gonna take a bit to figure out hmm
I don't really understand how views work. It says one thing but when I place my curser over the number it says another. An equally curious thing is how a story surrounding a background character has become more popular than my stories that have more of the main cast.
Wow, Rarity's a bitch.
"WHY ARE YOU ALL IN MY HOUSE!" Yells Thunderlane.
ooo a bath!
Is it gonna be finished sometime soon? I'm dying to know how this will end!
I like this. I hope you can finish it one day!
Juste dommage qu'il n'y ait pas Rainbow Dash dans cette histoire, mais sinon c'est très bien.