- Member Since 28th Dec, 2012
- offline last seen Apr 15th, 2017
ShinethePony
Shine, the story writing zebra, it/he/him, 22 years of nonsense
ShinethePony
Joined 28th Dec, 2012 ·
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tickld.com/images/gif/2202ca75470304ff347209073b44cb2c.png
This is gonna be a good story, I can tell.
Only minor problem I saw was sometimes there was an extra space between words. Over all, I like it.
3108544 There seems to be a problem with the image you tried to post; it wouldn't show up.
Anyway, I'm glad you like the story. It does need some editing, of course, because I just typed it all between one and three o' clock this morning, so... yeah.
I tried looking for and eliminating all the extra spaces, but I guess I missed some. I think that happens because my space bar is broken, and I sometimes have to push down extra hard to get it to work right.
Thank you so much for providing feedback. c:
3108580
The image was Morgan Freemen say "He's right, you know." So yeah, I want moar of this story.
3108587 Well you are in luck, because I am currently working on another chapter.
By the way... Morgan Freeman, FTW!
/)
Moar! plz
3108997 I'm pretty sure I'll be done with the next chapter by the end of the day. ;3
Sun at the beach!
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/340/276/e77.jpg
I want moar. This is becoming very interesting.
3110179 Well, I'm glad you're liking it. c:
I don't really understand that comment about the beach, but do you really think Princess Celestia would be heartless enough to punish the entire changeling race because of crimes committed by their queen?
3110292
Sun at the beach = Son of a b!tch.
As for the Celestia thing, it'd be dumb of me to say she'd send them all straight to the gallows, because in my story I wrote it so that she was nice and helpful.
I guess I did that just for the sake of using the meme. 
hilarious clop.
Moar.
3110315 Ohh... xD
Meh. I'm really not that much of a Celestia fan. In the show, I know they try to portray her as nice and caring and all that, but I just feel like she's secretly a bitch who enjoys to watch others suffer.
I mean, uhh... All Hail the Sun-Goddess!
3111502 I'm glad you thought it was funny; that was my goal.
3112101 Don't worry, you'll get moar. The next few chapters will probably not contain any clopping, though, so please don't get your hopes up for that; I would hate to disappoint anypony.
3112350
Don't worry, I like Plot just as much as I like Plot.
3112357
images.wikia.com/mlp/images/e/e1/FANMADE_Luna_I_see_what_you_did_there.jpg
Moar clop!
Oh, will this story be like the Fluttershy x Vesairus (The changeling with the orange headfin, if you know him) pictures?
I don't normally read clopfics, but if you ignore the clop it's actually a pretty good story.
3118260 Oh, I've seen those pictures, but I never knew his name or the story behind them.
Actually, I believe one of those pictures was part of the inspiration for this story.
However, the rest of the story after these first few chapters will not be clop-oriented (although there may be a few more fun scenes just added in here and there), but will rather focus on Fluttershy's emotional distress and confusion caused by the changeling.
I don't really intend it to be a romance, either.
3118708 Thank you. I don't like most clopfics (mainly, it's the ones that contain actual sex), but every now and then I crave a good furry/pony/mythical creature teasing story. Teasing's more fun, in my opinion.
I want fluttershy to adopt him as a pet :3
3132053 Oh good, so you can actually kind of see where this is going.
3137736 I was right??!? AMAZING!!!
"Hey!" he managed between laughs. "Is that really necessary?"
It's called torture for a reason.
3140299 Well... sort of. You'll find out later. c;
3147675 xD yeah.
I most certainly AM enjoying this story and the direction you're taking it, even considering how strange the premise in general is.
Keep up the fantastic work!
3149287 Muchas gracias. I'm so glad you're enjoying it.
but... the clop wont be over completely will it?
3150346 Nawh, there will be some more later; it just won't be the main focus of the story. c:
Your profile pic is adorable, by the way! >3<
3150597>>3150597
thank you, Changelings ftw.
3150665 indeed.
3151355
What i find interesting here, is that Pinkie is hiding a Changeling. Its always Twilight or Flutters, even though i think a story where Rarity hides one would have far more potential. What do you think?
3151367 Well, the reason I used Pinkie Pie instead of one of the others is because I figured everypony else would be more serious about their interrogation methods, but Pinkie... she just wants to have fun. I wanted it to be somepony who would be likely to want to tickle a changeling. xP
The reason she didn't tell anypony else is that she knew they would spoil her fun by sending him to the princesses in Canterlot for a more "proper" punishment.
3151507
Im just glad that its different here.
3151527 me too. c:
3151538
what do you think about Rarity hiding a Changeling? It definetly would give room for A LOT of hilarious scenes. (Rarity is my third least favorite pony so if I like the idea...)
3151555 Oh dear, I could just see her trying to dress up a changeling in "fashionable" clothes to disguise him/her. xD
When you first mentioned the possibility of Rarity hiding a changeling, I thought to myself "No bucking way would that ever happen," but when I thought about it for a little while, I realized it's not as outrageous as it seems. Rarity represents the element of Generosity, so I could see how she might be inclined to generously extend a helping hoof to a creature as pathetic and sad as a lone changeling. (She'd probably be inwardly repulsed by his/her appearance, but since Rarity is quite civilized, she would probably at least try not to show it.)
3151592
same reation as me when i first thought over who could fit. i However, now i think Rarity is actually the best Character to pull it off with, also never used before for that, so a definite bonus. I mean, Twi was a good choice (FOR SCIENCE) but is completely overused now.
3151592
I got through any of the mane 6
Aj doesn´t work she lives with a big family how would she hide a Changeling. It also doesnt suit her.
Pinkie: Could be funny, but its sooo hard to write Pinkie staying in Character.
Dash: ... What kind of plot could evolve from that? i have no idea.
Fluttershy: its reasonable that Flutters would help a hurt being Changeling or not, but what plot happens next? They slowly grow together as friends (or closer) and either it gets killed by her other friends or happy end next. not good for a long story, but is a good small one which warms your heart...
if you hadn´t read it about 50 times already.
Twilight: Plot: Twilight researches Changelings. not much Slice and life potential in my opinion. also happened to often
now think about all the hilarious events that could accur when a Changeling has to cope with Rarity´s personality, her many edges, her need to have everything perfect, just rarity. I cant see why there is NOT A SINGLE STORY with that concept yet.
3151715 Oh trust me, this one is centered mostly around Fluttershy, but it will be very different. I don't want to give away too much of the plot, but I can tell you that it won't be all sweetness all the time, and it will only superficially (sometimes) appear to be "romantic."
Basically, the changeling character is based on someone I know who is, well... let's just say he's a very confusing character. I'm still not sure whether the readers will love him or hate him, but for me, he's someone very dear to my heart. All I can say is he's not someone to be trusted, ever, and I really hope that doesn't give anything away...
As for the Rarity x Changeling story, if I weren't already doing this one, I might attempt that. It could be fun.
The only problem is I'm not sure how well I could keep Rarity in-character without running out of things to do with her. She never was my favourite, so I'm not so familiar with her personality and hypothetical reactions.
3152627
and hope. FOREVER 
just help spread the idea and then we can just wait.
3155689 Hey, I just had a cool idea. o3o
What if Rarity adopted a baby changeling and raised it as a pony, teaching it the ways of fashion and beauty and generosity?
3155902
together with the way of the drama queen? AWESOME!!!
need both!
Being a prisoner, casually.
I don't know how I didn't know that this chapter was out until now, but I think it's time I be a bit more productive with my comments. So for stater you should really work on proper spacing. Even though the lines don't just keep going from one side of the screen every time, it's still largely a massive wall of text. You should probably put an extra space so instead of
It looks like
The spacing makes it far more appealing to the eyes. So it's
rather than 
Though 73 likes tells me people aren't bothered by the lack of space. So yeah, there's a big comment for you. 
~A Dark Reminder
3156814 Ah, yes. I knew it seemed a bit crowded. lawl.
I usually do add the extra spaces like that, but for some reason I didn't this time. I'll fix that tonight when I'm editing for other reasons and adding my new chapter. c:
I'm really grateful to have cool people like you following my story.
3156897
Oh Thanks.
i
you all and don't reply just look at this photo before you do http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9tlqr8hoi1rfvb7ho1_500.gif
When they started the board game, Fluttershy rolled a 3 and a 5, which is 8
Then the Changeling rolled a 4 and a 6, which is 10,
Yet you said the Changeling was one space in front of Fluttershy.
Just thought I should point that out to you.
3177378 -le gasps-
I always knew I was really bad at math, but... I'm surprised I didn't catch this error before. Thank you for pointing it out.
I really hope you keep working on this story,this is awesome.
3438699 I'm glad you like it. I think I'm actually going to get back into writing it tonight, so there should be a new chapter tomorrow.