When a man finds himself in Equestria, apparently punching a pony princess in the face is a poor first action. Now stuck there, he must come to terms and cope with his, err... her new life.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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C'mon, add Celestia and make it a foursome! Complete the futa trifecta!
I kinda liked the idea as a kinda reverse Five score type thing but since i can see where this is going i'm sorry but i'm disinterested. Thank you for your time and for the previous chapters as it is.
Good luck.
2890735
Was actually more of a 'Every idea I wouldn't be caught dead putting into a serious story.' But, cannot fault you for your disinterest. Thanks for giving it a go.
Well...that was...interesting,,,
That's hot.
Double entry next? Or even call Celestia in and have a triple entry. That'd cause a massive sex coma.
Unf! But I was kinda hoping for some anal. c:
... The cycle has been complete.
I don't think there really is any human left in her now.
She has been completely ponified mentally.
I have this feeling... That Elam is going to be an alicorn... This is a good idea for a story, sex?
BonerBonus!elam's gonna be an alicorn god of sex! hah
It's not Twiluna, it's Tuna!
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e7/Tsukiji_Fish_market_and_Tuna.JPG
Toooooonaaahhh.
2892522 this, I like it. DO EET!
hers how it would work if celestia were involved, same scenario, except luna in the ass, celestia in the tube, twilight riding the mouth and getting eaten out by celestia...
"Slow increase in the" or "slowly increasing sunlight". "By" should be "but".
Shouldn't it still be "pre-cum"?
That actually sounds good, even if a little bitter.
I think that "no" was not meant to be there.
pulled
This is awkwardly worded.
Sentence fragment
Pretty good, I liked it, but I am pretty tired. Wooooo!
Yeeeeeeesssss, give into the darkside. The futa side.
Dickfillies are your future, Elam...
I get the feeling Elam is going to become the same type of pony that has pumped him/her with cum, because of said cum.
2890742
Just had a thought to add to that pile of Bad Ideas which has probably been brought up before. What if Elam never quite turned fully pony but got stuck somewhere in between? I know, the dreaded Anthro tag. (At least Spike would have someone in town to thumb-wrestle)
Huzzah! The awkwardness had been doubled!
...Maybe with Equestria trying to cram too much magic into Elam, she got... a little constipated?
Well, it could always be worse? Elam could have turned into a werepony. Possibly Earth pony type with permanent bed-mane and slightly larger than Big Mac. Going 100% pony under the light of the full moon, turning into a sexual Tyrannosaurus Rex of a mare, breaking into pony's homes and forcing stallions to rut her till they can't get it up any more and/or she wears out anything (anypony) even remotely usable as a substitute in the stallion-less residence.
L: BonBon, someone broken into the store last night! And why are all the large candy canes worn down and broken?! ...Gosh Bonbon, you look like Tartarus too?
BB: *Shudder* You... don't really want to know.
2895040
I've been mostly ignoring comments on this story, as its more humor factor than anything else, but yours...
I thought my thoughts were off the wall here. Egads!
2895953
I'm just full of bad ideas!
.... "you have a thumbs-up and a favorite. now please good sire, continue"
I now have a mental image of a personified Equestria shoving a plunger into Elam's brain and shouting, "BE COMFORTABLE WITH YOURSELF, DAMMIT!" Thanks for that.
THIS IS AWESOME
2898771
This is fantastic.
(Also not entirely dissimilar to my own concept of Harmony.)
I am loving this story!! This is great
2898771 No, Thank you for that, my good sir!
This was only your fourth time writing sex? That was amazingly hot for such a small amount of times. Keep up the good work.
I PLEAD THE...oh, no wait... that's not right.... oh yeah, that's it, SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY
2898771
I just did a spit-take!
2967396
I've fallen behind on replying to any comments really on this story. However, I gotta ask. Didja read the warning on the story and/or see the AU tag? Thoroughly stated my intentions there, and so you shouldn't be too surprised about such things. And description comes in the third chapter.
Anywho, back to reading this story I'm looking at. Cheers.
Update?
O.O GOOD STORY XD
Stop writing this and I will hunt you down and tie you in front of your computer until you finish it.
3045079
Actually nearly done with it. Been in a bit of a writing slump in general, and using this story with some others ideas to pull out of it.
...come?
Anyways, I'm liking this story a whole lot more than I'd like to admit my liking of it. Looking forward to more!
2890796
Yes! Make her airtight!
2895953
Does that mean you'll do it?
So the vampony story doesn't have twilightsparkle in it.
well you did it, you broke me....
I loved it all so much I can't stand it it just keeps getting better and better I can't wait to see what happens next
Why blueberries....I love blueberries.....WHY
Hell yes, it matters! It's an intrusion of the most horrible kind, regardless of the reasons! This is one of the biggest reasons I wouldn't want to go to Equestria unless I knew I would be immune to this kind of thing, whether it be passive meddling by the world, or deliberately aimed by an individual!
Furthermore, the fact that Equestria mind-raping individuals is canonized - Magical Mystery Cure, anyone? - only makes it more terrifying. At least then they weren't falsely happy with their lives, even though they didn't remember what happened between A and B.
I am not, will not ever be a puppet dancing on someone else's string. Should I ever begin leaning in that direction, I will immediately find the nearest sharp object/long rope/steep cliff and impale myself/hang myself/leap off.
4107630 It's alright, everything's all ogre now
4292830 BOOOOO *throws blue berries at Attero for his pun.
4292830 it's not ogre, it's never ogre....
Suggestions:
"Do you want to be the filling to Twilight and I?"
-Twilight and me?
"There's also contraceptive spells"
-There are
-----
EDIT ~2015-06~
As this get necromanced
If you don't know why ".. and I" here is mistake read this for grammar:
http://www.elearnenglishlanguage.com/blog/english-mistakes/i-vs-me/
http://www.elearnenglishlanguage.com/blog/english-mistakes/between-you-and-me-or-i
tl;dr version is to make quick check and replace:
"ZZZZZ and I" = we (or they)
"ZZZZZ and me" = us (or them)
And test sentence first with "we" then with "us".
is equal to:
"Do you want to be the filling to WE?"
Not something you would use. So that is why I suggested change to:
"... Twilight and me?"
---
Also 5924185
4370660
Thier juices were all ogre the place.
Damnit... I only made it until about halfway throught this chapter.
Holy crap.
I feel like a kid in a candy store.
4795723
Dude, they already make sense, there's nothing wrong with those two sentences. -_-
When talking about you and another person you say 'him and I' not 'him and me' and with the second one the apostrophe is the key thing here. It's there to show it's the shortening of a word such as 'there's' which is 'there is' combined. It flows better without having to make it seem choppy. It's always better to choose 'they're' than 'they are' because it just reads easier. If you really want to try to be an editor or pre reader there are groups you can join for that so you know what you're talking about.
"canines," wouldn't that imply that they are meat eaters,partly? A couple chapters ago Elam had fingers and hands, is that something that's gradually going to go away as well as other human things like that? Your clop is getting gradually better, the boob job was definitely a good addition as well as the threesome.
4795723 the first one you corrected is wrong, "Twilight and I"is correct not "Twilight and me" although you are right the second time, if anyone disagrees tell me why, because you seem right although I'm a bit torn whether it's right or not.
4795723
You know what's funny? That dialogue is correct in the sense that that is how the character spoke, sure she may not have used correct word choice to properly get her point across but the point is still understood, is it not?
I mean you could look at it this way, "I didn't do nothing," is a double negative but since it's dialogue you wouldn't adjust it to proper English, it's just how the character spoke.
4795723
Still I give you props for knowing your English.
Thumbs up!