Rarity and Spike has always been friends. It was Rarity's birthday and it seems that Spike has a surprise for her! Could Rarity end up loving this baby Dragon or are they just friends forever?
Chapters (10)
GracefulFluttershy
Joined 11th Jun, 2013 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- GracefulFluttershy · 15k words · 27 11 · 1.6k views
- Spikester · 9.6k words · 35 10 · 2.4k views
- Smitty91 · 42k words · 41 22 · 4.1k views
- CartsBeforeHorses · 3.7k words · 58 19 · 2.9k views
Featured In1
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.028 seconds
Total duration
1,035 users online
74,686 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Lucky Dragon!!!
Very nice story.
For the love of Luna, keep writing.
Since when is Twilight Sparkle Spike's Mom?!
Yes, she hatched Spike from an egg and took him into raising, but Twilight is just a friend that takes care of him, and Spike is just a dragon that does stuff for Twilight under the dragon code.
2740742
I know but she seems like one even though she isn't.
Wow, the person who suggested this story wasn't joking, these are some bloody short chapters!
All the same, I'll give it a shot.
2897494
but thanks for giving it a shot 
Yeah I know they're short
t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTpibKXFPMkA0QzNE5-f6wd__aTCPcymebQ8umonoPG-W1IFDOX8Q
Aww
I love this story 
I know this isn't a fair comment, considering I haven't actually read your work. The chapters are too short. The idea is that each chapter should be a self contained story, using scene transitions inside the story to move the characters about. A new chapter should be used as a serious change of pace.
Also keep in mind, the idea is to get your reader so engrossed in a chapter that they don't even think twice about clicking 'Next Chapter'. At the end of the first chapter, I wasn't invested in the story, so I felt no real need to click that button. It may be hurtful to say, but from criticism we learn.
This entire story could have been condensed into a one chapter one shot, and it would have been at a very appropriate length. This one just keeps getting broken up by constant transitions.
I hope you found the critique helpful, good luck in your future writing!
-Lumino
Feels redicoulously rushed.
the story not the writing.