When A Heart Loses Its Shine
When A Heart Loses Its Shine
Cadence stared out into the starry night sky, watching as the twinkling spots of light glittered and shone through the darkness. It was a quiet night, save for the crickets chirping, and the shuffling of grass in the light breeze. Cadence sighed as she turned her gaze on the horizon, finding only dark blue sky meeting the rolling plains.
Behind her a mile or so back lay the Crystal Empire, shimmering brightly in the silver moonlight. She had seen its glory every night for the last year. The beauty of the city had been a shining light whenever she had needed it. But tonight, its shine was dull and meaningless. It wasn’t what she was looking for.
“Cadence...?”
Cadence flinched and slowly turned to see Twilight, shuffling her feet ever so slightly with her ears flat against her head.
“I looked all over for you,” Twilight said, her voice timid and broken. “When I saw you weren’t in your bed, I thought that you had really left... I didn’t know what to do.”
Cadence sighed then gave a slight smile at her favorite sister-in-law and beckoned her over. Twilight trudged over and sat down in the grass alongside her.
“I just went out for some air. It’s kind of empty feeling, sleeping all alone. I mean, with this past year being so full of conflict and Shining Armor being deployed all the time, I had thought I’d gotten used to it, but now it just has..”. She sighed and drooped her head. “I don’t know, it has a kind of finality to it,” Cadence said as she turned back and looked at the sky. “I’m sorry I made you worry.”
Twilight sniffed and wiped her nose. “Cadence—” she said, voice nearly cracking. “I miss him...”
“No, shh.” She turned and pulled Twilight into a hug. Twilight bowed her head and buried her face into her longtime friend’s shoulder. “I can’t take seeing my favorite little sis looking like that,” Cadence said. She rubbed a hoof through Twilight’s mane as she trembled. She could feel small drops of moisture soaking into her shoulder.
“But he could still come back,” Twilight sobbed. “He might still be out there. He might just be missing.”
“I know,” Cadence returned softly, her own eyes starting to moisten again. She had lost count on how many times this had happened since the recent news. “I want to hope for that too.”
For a moment the two simply sat there, hanging onto each other as a light breeze ruffled the spare leaves and grass around them.
“Twilight?”
“Yeah?” Twilight answered, voice muffled.
“I just wanted to tell you thanks.”
Twilight perked her head out and looked up at Cadence. Her eyes had become red and puffy, and her hair had a messy look that was foreign to her usual straight mane. “W-why?”
“For coming out to the Crystal Empire to be with me for the weekend.” Cadence was still staring out past the horizon. Her eyes had a glossy sheen and her voice was tired. “I-I’m really glad to have someone around at a time like this. You didn’t have to. I know with the war being just over you’ve had a lot of work to do.”
Twilight moved away and sat back down, wiping her eyes with a hoof. “No, I wanted to.” She turned and watched her sister-in-law, still staring off into the distance. Her eyelids were half closed as she stared blankly across the sky, streak marks stained across her cheeks. It was a familiar sight for anyone who had seen Cadence recently.
“Cadence?”
“Hm?” she said absentmindedly.
“Are you okay?”
Cadence gave a weak smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just hard to accept that it’s been two days and they’ve had to call off any more search parties.”
Twilight nodded. A cool breeze caressed her side as the grass moved in the wind. The night was so peaceful and quiet. She yawned and leaned against Cadence’s side, snuggling into it.
Cadence smiled. “Tired?”
“It’s been a long day.”
“Why don’t you go ahead and get back to bed. You deserve some rest, Twilight. I’ll be back in a little while.”
Twilight sat up, eyes flickering across Cadence’s face. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I just need to clear my head a little.”
Twilight waited for a moment before finally nodding. “Okay. I’ll see you in a bit. Don’t forget, I’m here if you ever need me,” she said and started the walk back to the castle.
Cadence listened to the hooffalls hesitate a little ways before continuing and falling out of earshot. “Yes... I know, Twilight.” Cadence’s ears perked up as the sound of wingbeats met her ears. Heavy steps sounded from behind her. “You didn’t want to say hi to Twilight?” she said.
Celestia moved to the side of her niece and smiled. “Not right now. She needs space for awhile, I think. Can’t say the same for you. Holding it all in is going to do more harm than good.”
Cadence stared at the ground and pushed around some grass with a hoof. “Twilight’s taking the death of her brother really hard. She needs a strong role model. Shining would have done the same thing.”
“I see... you need her to believe you’re okay, but the real question is—are you?”
Cadence gave a weak smile. “No, not really. I’m just so tired of crying is all. I’ve had plenty of that these last few days.” She sighed and closed her eyes. “The changeling war is finally over and a lot of good ponies are finally getting to return home. This is supposed to be a happy moment for Equestria.”
Celestia shifted as she watched the breeze waft over the grass in the distance, moving over the blades like waves. “We’re happy because it’s over due to stallions like Shining Armor,” she said. “War is never happy—not before or after. In all my years, it’s by far the most painful thing to watch.” Celestia looked up at the stars with her niece.
“What was it like?” Cadence said, breaking the silence.
“What was what like?”
“The final battle. Every stallion I asked didn’t want to talk about it. They just kept assuring me that Shining did a great job, and whenever I asked where his body was...” Cadence could feel water welling up in her eyes. “Every time they just couldn’t even look at me.”
Celestia was silent as she stared off. “They used something called a spellbomb.”
“A what?” That didn’t sound like any weapon Cadence had ever heard of.
“A spellbomb,” Celestia said quietly. “It’s a weapon whose magic spreads over a whole area and burns everything. I thought they were a lost magic, but somehow they got ahold of one. Chrysalis was particularly upset with Shining Armor and didn’t like the idea of being captured. We tried to have her surrender but she wanted to fight to the bitter end and take as many as she could with her, especially Shining. She—detonated it when they got close to the main hive. The changeling all committed suicide with their queen. That’s why we couldn’t recover any bodies.”
“Shining Armor was one of them.”
“I was told he was involved, that’s all.”
Cadence pawed at the ground. “Do you think he could be alive?”
Celestia didn’t answer, instead taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “Cadence, you know, Shining Armor actually had a really hard time leaving you too—probably worse.”
Cadence perked up, wiping the salty moisture around her eyes. “He talked to you?”
“Yes. Just before he shipped out at the train station. He looked like he really needed it.”
“What did he say?”
Celestia thought back to that hot summer day.
The station was crowded and filled with cold-eyed, serious stallions of all shapes and colors. They all waited around front of the platform, ready to shove off soon. All except Shining. He had set himself a fair bit away from the main station and was sitting alone, head down, shoulders slumped and staring up to the castle. It was definitely uncharacteristic of him. He had always had a certainness about him, like he was set in his morals and motivations and nothing in the world could shake them apart.
Not that morning.
“Good morning, Shining Armor, something on your mind?” Celestia said as she strode over.
Shining Armor snapped to attention and saluted. “Oh, um, Your Highness. Good morning.”
Celestia smiled. “At ease, Shining. Can’t we be a little less official? I was hoping you’d have gotten comfortable with me by now.”
Shining widened his eyes and dropped his hoof. “Oh, of course. I’m sorry. I’ve just had something on my mind.”
“Oh?”
“I-I just.” Shining looked back up to the crystal castle far in the distance. “I’m leaving her all over again. I just came home. We barely spent an hour together.”
Celestia gave a knowing smile. “Well, isn’t being in the guard what you wanted all along? I remember you when you were still a private back in the day. You were full of heart, ready to take on anything. When did you start losing steam? Are you not happy being the guard’s commander?”
Shining Armor shook his head. “It’s not that I have a problem with my duty. These guys need me, and really, I'm so thankful for the people I meet, the places I've been and the things I've seen. But when she's not here it doesn't feel like I'm living my dream. I know they say that no one is perfect, but I swear she's perfect for me.” Shining Armor looked back to the station as the last of the stallions were getting on board and waving to him. “And that just makes it so much harder to leave,” he said, and picked up his things, heading for the train.
Returning her thoughts to the present, Celestia saw a shooting star arched over the horizon as storm clouds rumbled in the distance of the dark night sky. “That was the last time I saw him,” she said.
“...We had a fight that morning,” Cadence said. “I had wanted him to stay and I thought it was foalish that he had to command on the frontlines.” Celestia watched her niece. Cadence brushed away her frayed mane out of her eyes, her form shuddering now and again as she spoke, trying hard to keep her voice calm yet still letting through a slight tremble that was almost invisible in the wind that blew past them. “I was just so frustrated with it all. I missed him. You never really know how much it hurts to have someone you love be miles away until you experience it.”
Celestia nodded silently and looked up to the large moon above, a brief chill passing over her.
Cadence slumped her shoulders and looked down. “You know what he told me when he left? I still remember it perfectly. Please be strong—be strong for me.” Cadence’s heart dropped to her stomach at remembering those last words. Tears fell to the ground at her feet, soaking into the grass. “And I’ve been trying so hard. I’ve been trying for so long not to show that I’m upset and to fake that I’m okay because I know that he wouldn’t have wanted to see me like this. Auntie, I can’t take it anymore! I waited for so long to see him again, and now he’s gone!” Cadence couldn’t hold back her tears any longer and they started to flow freely across her face as she began to shake. “Isn’t it supposed to get easier? Because it’s only getting worse. I miss him so much, and I try so hard for Twilight and for everyone but I just can’t do it anymore. How am I supposed to be everything they expect me to be when I’m so alone! I can’t...I just can’t anymore.”
Celestia kept silent, her moist eyes looking across a sea of stars. “I’ve seen this too many times...” she breathed to herself. “I’m so sorry you had to go through this Cadence.”
Cadence sobbing quieted to whimpers, the Princess slowly starting to get control of herself once again. It had become a practiced routine at this point.
“He,” she began between sobs. “He told me that no matter what, he would get back. It didn’t matter if he had to walk thousands of miles. He’d come home.” She nodded toward the horizon.
“So you’ve been waiting...” Celestia said.
“I know it’s foalish to hope,” Cadence mumbled. She looked up and watched a falling star arc off into the horizon. “I just wish so badly that somehow he’d just be alive and come home. I know I’m torturing myself like this, but I can’t help it. He meant so much to me. I can’t stop myself from holding onto that small chance and that’s making it hurt so much more.” Celestia stayed quiet, only watching out of the corner of her eye and listening to her niece. “Why aren’t you upset over this?” Cadence asked.
“I am,” Celestia answered, her voice low and devoid of its usual melodic quality. “I just think that sometimes ponies need a strong role model.” Cadence perked up and looked at her aunt. Celestia gave a comforting smile as she turned and spread her wings. “Shining would have done the same thing.”
Cadence watched as Celestia flew off back toward the crystal castle, eventually disappearing in the night sky. A light breeze blew her mane as she gazed at the sky that had always held so much joy and hope for her when she felt alone. She stared at it for a long time, eyes set on the gleaming panorama but mind lost in her thoughts.
Cadence curled up closer to Shining Armor as they watched the breathtaking arrangement of stars above their heads. Both were wrapped around each other, covered in a blanket. Shining Armor combed a hoof through Cadence’s multicolor mane. In that moment, nothing else had mattered to them as they lay together across the grass plains outside the city limits, watching the world above them glow in splendid wonder.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Shining said.
“Yeah,”
“Imagine, Luna placed every single one fresh tonight, like a new masterpiece painting that fades with the sun’s rise.”
Cadence nuzzled in a little closer, turning a little more towards Shining Armor. “Kind of makes you feel small. Like there’s so much else out there,” she said.
“Yeah, there’s a lot of crazy stuff outside Equestria.”
Cadence quirked a brow and looked at her husband. “Like what?”
“Well, when I went to the outskirts of the arctic areas, we actually saw these crazy auras flying around across the sky.”
“Whoa, really?”
Shining Armor smiled. “Yeah, it was really cool looking. I wish I could show you. You’d love it, Cadence. I wish you had been there to see it...” Shining Armor paused and his smile faded away as he looked off to the side.
“Shining?” Cadence perked her head up and looked at him. “Are you okay? Is something wrong?”
“I—I have to talk to you about something.” Cadence’s heart dropped to her stomach. She knew him too well to mistake his tone and mannerisms; she knew what was coming. The Princess turned as her eyes started to water.
“Cadence, there’ve been a lot of concerns with the changelings recently. I’ve—” Shining Armor drew in a heavy breath and turned to face her. “I’ve been called out to talk with some of the neighboring kingdoms. Celestia is hoping we can establish peaceful relations before changeling scouts convince them otherwise.”
Cadence stayed still, listening to him over her shoulder. “So you're leaving again?”
“Yes, I have to. Equestria needs help. I want to keep you safe, Cadence, you know that.” Shining Armor moved closer and wrapped his hooves around her. “Cadence?”
“...Yes?”
“Are you going to be okay this time around?”
“Shining I’ll—I’ll be fine. It’s alright, really, I understand that this is important and what this means to you.”
Shining Armor could feel the light rise and fall of her breathing. What he would give to just stay here forever and not have to leave her ever again. Cadence stayed quiet, still facing away. “I know that sometimes waiting is hard, believe me, I know. When I’m on the road you’re all I can think about, but you know what helps?”
Cadence suppressed a slight sniffle. “What?”
“The stars. Out in the desert or arctic, it doesn’t matter. I can always see a beautiful night sky everywhere I go. But it’s not about the actual stars that brings me comfort. It’s you. I know that it doesn’t matter where I am—I can watch the stars with you from miles away, just like we are now.”
Cadence turned, marks going across her cheeks and moist spots soaked into the lower parts of her coat. “Shining—”
“No, shh.” Shining Armor hugged her tight, letting her rest her head in his shoulder. “I can’t take you looking like that. It bothers me too much when that’s the last thing I see when I’m away. I need you to be strong for me, Cadence. I can’t do any of this without you.” He smiled and put his chin to her own shoulder. “Please, for me. Whenever you feel lonely—just look out at the stars. Wherever I am, I’ll be watching right along with you.”
Cadence blinked away a fresh set of tears as she returned to the present, watching the clouds close over the horizon as they blocked out the twinkling night sky. She finally closed her eyes and got up to leave. “I’m sorry, Shining Armor. I couldn’t be as strong as you needed me to be.”
“It’s okay.”
Cadence’s heart pounded hard. She froze in place and her eyes went wide. Her tears stopped flowing as her ears picked up the sound of a voice she hadn’t heard in a long long time. The wind seemed to stand still as the world stopped around her. She turned, ever so carefully, as if afraid that it may have been a trick of the mind or something in the wind. There, stood a white and blue stallion, covered in cuts and bruises, still wearing his uniform.
“Shi—Shining?”
He moved forward and pulled her into an embrace. “It’s okay, Cadence. You’ve been everything I’ve ever needed you to be.”
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I see something right off the bat.
should be Its. it's not a contraction, but rather a possessive adjective (or whatever the fuck it's called) so it doesn't need an apostrophe
An ending like this is the prize for having read through a sad and emotional story.
This assets0.ordienetworks.com/images/GifGuide/clapping/citizen_cane.gif is all I have to say
Aww. Sometimes it pays to take a risk and read a sad romance, and this was one of those times. Well done
2562207
Possessive pronoun, but you were close.
2562694
thank you. I always forget what those things are called. and I'm a (former) English major.
2562698
No problem. I find it easiest to remember that it's the general equivalent of his, her, their, our (all posessive pronouns).
Why does every fanfic I read like this always end with Shining Armor appearing out of nowhere?
2563898
Really? That is awfully strange.
2562208>>2562413>>2562694
I'm glad you guys enjoyed it.
I really wanted to turn the tables and do a happy ending just to change things up in the typical sad fic genre. That and I kind of feel that Cadence and Shining are a little ignored sometimes.
Anyways, it had an okay run and I gained some experience from it so I'm pretty happy.
Good Story, you get 4 of 5 Big Macs:
Still got something that bothered me: You use the word "moist" way too often,try finding different words.
I was wondering if the bittersweet ending was that Cadence was going to find she was pregnant with Shining's first foal or something.
Celestia was particularly well-written in this story. I think that she has forgotten just how many brave ponies she's lost or sent to their deaths over the millennia and probably despises herself for that display of mortal weakness. She strikes me as the sort of pony who feels that the least a god-queen can do is to bear the scars of every death in her service for all eternity. Of course, only by developing a certain degree of detachment could she keep herself sane as an immortal in a mortal world.
*SQUEEEE* I know it's unrealistic but it still makes me happy :)
You're yanking on my heartstrings, dude.
I'm honestly kind of jealous. Your description seems a lot better than mine, though that may be because of the generally low opinion I have of my writing. The action tags during the dialogue are a whole different story; you beat me by a longshot on those.
All in all, a great little story. I was hit strongly by the emotions, which is saying something considering I'm reading this at 11 PM after working on Chapter 2 of my story all day long, so I probably didn't absorb half of what I was supposed to
Faved and upvoted
You should definitely write more often.
ShingCadance is one of my favorite ships, by the way.
This is a good fic. A very good fic
And I like it. I love their interactions, the flashbacks, the quiet and intimate moments.
Not bad, man.
2662030
Thank you very much. That means a lot.
Shining x Cadence is one of my fav's too. I'd do more with it but I'm really bad at shipping. Those cheesy lines, right? I'd have to read more of it to get it right and I don't have the reading time, nor the patience to sift through all the 'shipping' to find some 'romance' if you know what I'm saying.
2662049 If you ever want any rec's for a certain ship, I can accomodate ya!
Nah, it was alright.
I like Shinin' and Cadance because beside being adorable, it's also an excuse to look at married love and life! So muuuchhh stufff
2662052
I'd be happy with anything you can recommend, particularly for straight ships. PM me a few. I don't really have any qualms about who is shipped as long as it's not a silly concept like Gilda x Twilight.
It's really about the story and how the author works to develop the characters more than 'I want to see Twilight and Dash kiss 'cause I think it's hot' or something. That's really what I look for, I guess—The character conflict. Something that can stand as a good story beyond some the idea of two character I like being together for whatever silly reason (so therefore I won't tell you my preferred ships beyond what you already know
).
you should do a sequel on twilights reaction to him being alive. of course that is just my opinion you do whatever you want with this story it is yours after all
2667688
I had actually wondered about doing a bonus chapter to show the battle Shining survived if I ever do revisit this. Doing Twilight's reaction would be kind of cool but feel like it would be redundant. Cadence was mostly the focus here.
2667731 i understand but either way this was a good story to read
2563898 Because Shining is secretly a ninja that stalks the shadows of those he loves until they're in tears before he shows up.
Too soon?
2670775
Hahaha.Comments like that are never too soon.
I started to break at the end. Good job.
2684791
Still, I could have executed that ending a little better. I tried foreshadowing things but it didn't come out that clear what happened. Either way, it's an old project and I'd rather move forward with the next thing. EQD gave me some good notes on it so I might try working through this again someday.
Haha. It means you're used to reading about crazy ponies.
While I was waiting for the next part of For A New Dawn, I've decided to take apart the next best thing that happens to be on your story list.
So, where do I start? It was a great story - touching and heartwarming (that is, if there's a real difference between those two things).
At times like these I'm glad I download stories straight to my E-Reader without paying any attention to the description and character list whatsoever. I neither knew what I was getting myself into nor how it would develop. And trust me, I was emotionally blown away when they said that "Twilight’s taking the death of her brother really hard...". Well fuck me, it wasn't only her, that's for sure. It was hinted he would be missing, but I didn't actually think about death.
As the story progressed with all those flashbacks, it just burned it way into my brain even harder.
But then came the finale, and I'm not entirely sure what to say about it. In one way it's a good thing of course, happy end and everyone can have a sausage fest, but on the other hand it also feels a little weird. All this build up of Shining being dead and stuff, but then he magically reappears out of fucking nowhere. I would've preferred some kind of "Okay, he's gone, but I can handle this." sorta ending. I know it's hard to find a good ending to a sad fic when it isn't supposed to be tragic, but it still felt like you took the easy way out.
Overall, good story, for what it is at least. Not from the golden apple tree, but definitely the silver one.
Just one question out of curiosity: How do you English people write apostrophes? Because yours look like this ’ while mine looks like ' instead.
2685510
I've been getting a lot of feedback like this for a while now. I think the Shining Armor reappear thing could have been done a little better for sure. I did want a happy ending though. I didn't aim to take the easy way out.
. Anyways as far as the apostrophe goes I do all work on the computer so I rarely write with a pencil at all. Either one is good but I usually go with a straight line ( ' ) for time's sake.
The ending was a bit sudden... but apart from that, this was a powerful and emotional story.
4024417
I'm glad you liked what I was going for. And yeah, this one was a learning experience. The vast majority of readers have said the ending is a bit abrupt, so I concluded that my foreshadowing was too hidden. I learned from it though, so I can't be disappointed. Made me happy to write so I consider it a success.
4025149
Good to know that you learned from it. I mean, I wasn't surprised at the ending myself, but it was still a little sudden.
4025162
Heh, yeah pacing was a lesson too
4025556
Specifically how to pace the resolution, :P
Wait, he was alive? Or was that his ghost? Eh, all in all, this was a great story. Good job.