I don't know what the hell is going on, but I've been feeling like a POS for the past few weeks. I'm either tired, nervous, or angry, and I can't focus on anything productive. Nothing seems to bring me lasting joy - just yesterday, I finally pushed myself to watch Avengers Infinity War + Endgame, hoping it would help... But my mood was 'meh' before and 'meh' after, and not because the movies were bad...

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What a demon kid, grandma's are awesome!

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I go to a private school where most kids are stuck up and my language arts teacher treats me like a piece of crap. At home, my parents (AKA My mom and grandmother) fight up a storm until one of them has a breakdown and leaves. Don't get me started on my sister. She gives me death threats, beats m up, and steals my stuff. And my dad? Doing drugs and just out of jail. Great. I'm not sure how to deal with all this. On top of it all I'm dealing with depression and can't stop with the

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So, lately you may or may not have noticed my writing has slowed down. I could tell you it was my job keeping me busy, but honestly, I could write at work if I really wanted too. Is it burnout? Not really? Then why?

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So I slept in this morning, waking up at 10:54 AM and checked Facebook, one of my best internet friends messaged me to talk. He always gives me uplifting feelings, so I was eager to let him talk to me. Why in the world does life do this to people?

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Hey everyone, it has been quite a while since I have posted anything, and for that, I apologize. I was recently let go from my job and have been dealing with a lot of depression and self-loathing lately because of it. I'm finally trying to get back on my feet, but at the same time, it still feels like the world is crashing down on my head. I have been trying to stay positive, and due to my free time, I have been enjoying games and anime again. Something that I had lost almost all

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(something to try and get me to calm down....)

Christine:
In sleep he sang to me
In dreams he came
That voice which calls to me
And speaks my name
And do I dream again
For now I find
The Phantom of the Opera is there
Inside my mind

Phantom:
Sing once again with me
Our strange duet
My power over you
Grows stronger yet
And though you turn from me
To glance behind
The Phantom of the Opera is there
Inside your mind

Christine:

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Every day, whenever things relating to LGBTism are brought up, I find myself caught in ridiculous scandals that often seem to result in me taking the brunt of it all. People on here express their hatred of me, they immediately side with those I’m opposing, and they don’t even take the time to let me tell my side of the story or get to know me better as a person!

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Hello everyone, Noah here.

First, happy birthday, Mom! You turn 47 today. I wouldn't be where I am today without you. I love you so much.

My depression is, well its not worse, but it hasn't really improved that much. I've been sporadically posting on X.com and my discord server, but I am trying to get chronic tech dependency under control. My therapist thinks I can do it.

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I can honestly say that the best therapy I've had in years has been EMS studies.

I finally feel like I am actually enjoying the entire process of learning. It's also been wonderful to have that impetus to drive myself out of the house each day - to be around other humans, to interact with people again. More to the point, people that are not screaming at me as they would be here at home.

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Roughly 9 years ago this month, The Lost Element began. And I have dutifully stuck to my guns the entire way, seeing the glorious rise, tragic fall, and crushing end of MLP FiM in the process. And even now, I still carry on with my work. And yet so much has happened during that time and not all of it is happy.

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The new depression medication I am on is officially not working.

This may temporarily delay new stories and story updates. It may also prevent me from participating in the current Writeoff, but it's too soon to tell. We'll see.

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Alright...guys my last 2 blogs may have sounded almost....snappish and depressed, that's only because I haven't been feeling good the past 2 days. Father's Day threw me off pretty bad and the resulting action was me ranting on one blog and struggling to not break down in tears on the other blog. Let's just say....some bad memories resurfaced and I've been trying to cope with them. Even IRL I've been rather quiet and irritated these past few days. For that I apologize to you all. I know some of

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For a while now I've been struggling with thoughts of what my future holds. "What should I do? Should I continue to persue writing or try another route? Will I even make it as a writer, artist, or something else?" I keep getting into these moods when I know I shouldn't. I have a job for the summer and I'll be going back to school in august. I have family that loves me, but I don't want to live with them even if I can't pay my rent to stay where I am. I wouldn't say I'm depressed exactly. I have

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A little outdated, given that the event described happened last night as opposed to today, but here goes.

Last night, I was playing Rome; Total War on multiplayer and got in a game with three other people, a 2 player vs. 2 player situation (SPQR/Roman Senate ally and me as Macedon vs. Thrace and Egypt). I thought it was going to be a great game.

On the surface, the battle was a major win; the other guys were totally crushed.

The problem lay with my ally.

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Why am I still on FIM. I don't want to be here, it's hell and if people like TheShyGuy ,that I've blocked, posted another blog about my friends and it makes me upset , I'm not going to be able to stop myself when I want to argue with him. I will argue with any user any day if it was for the sake of my friends....but that's not me. I don't like thinking revengful thoughts or arguing with others.THAT'S NOT ME AND I HATE IT, IT RUINS ME! ................but I can't control myself if it's for the

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You know I've spent so long staring at this blank page, I mean I don't want to make people think I'm doing this for attention or well people don't really care honestly.

But I have been gone because of work mostly third shift is hard to work around, but my depression kicked in.

Now I say "kicked in" as my depression works in waves. I would be fine one moment and then suddenly I would get depressed for a while until I brake out of the depression and I get back to "normal".

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That's all I ever do! I can't improve or make things better no matter what! Not my stories, or things outside of Fimfiction! I can't do anything right! All I ever do is make others mad and make things worse than what I intended! Why can't I do anything right?!

All I do is hurt others, mess things up, and act like a terrible, awful person. Why do I keep doing this? What could be the source of the problem? What's wrong with me? I don't know if I could ever improve because all I ever do is ruin everything and make things worse no matter what.

Can someone at least tell me what's wrong with me?

This hit me today: that there are those who may be quarantined in their home and are completely by themselves. I can't imagine and my heart goes out to any of you who are experiencing this! Especially if you suffer from depression, as I have. All I can say is reach out to as many people during the day as you possibly can. Especially if you can call and actually talk to someone. Hearing a human voice makes a world of difference. I should know, as I spent years walling myself off from

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