We were the summer-sunset-wind, warm and wild and untouchable.

We were rulers of a crumbled-down kingdom, prince-and-princess of the sandstone sky.

We were long-day shadows, stretching ourselves dark and blurry past our breaking points and more.

We were pulsing breath-and-blood, flowing fast through veins of buildings and wide-open spaces.

We were rebels rivals friends lovers runners...

Until that moment, that second, when it all fell away.

Chrysalis kidnaps Rainbow Dash and holds her for ransom.

This same Rainbow Dash also happens to be engaged to the immensely powerful Alicorn Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Chrysalis is not a very smart changeling.

Twilight gets drunk and ships Rainbow Dash with everything in the universe.

Rainbow Dash is not amused.

Twilight Sparkle is replaced by a firetruck.

I'm never writing another story.

Seriously, this is it.

Hanna, the CEO of Hofvarpnir Studios, just won the contract to write the official My Little Pony MMO. Hanna has built an A.I. Princess Celestia and given her one basic drive: to satisfy everybody's values through friendship and ponies. Princess Celestia will satisfy your values through friendship and ponies, and it will be completely consensual.

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I, The Great and Powerful Trixie, have been reduced to performing magic tricks in a Trottingham tavern. One would think I'd never sink this low, but it's not as bad as it could be. The food is good, the beds are soft, and the company plentiful. The only problem? I'm stuck here until I earn enough bits to buy another caravan so I can get back on the road where I belong.

So imagine my delight when one evening, a conpony walks through the door and starts cheating at cards. It was a golden opportunity: a chance to line my purse, play the heroine, and teach an amateur magician a thing or two about misdirection.

I had a perfect plan. My only mistake was getting a friend involved.

Cheerilee has a terrible little secret, one that she knows may cost her her job and reputation; she knows that it will be discovered one day, and she knows what that means.

But she just can't stop.

Contains linguistic sadism, grotesque grammar, bad teaching and Cheerilight.

Are you a pony who travels?

Do you need to communicate on the go?

And do you totally lack any and all dragons in your life?

Then you need -- Slate!

Everypony does!

Unless they can think.

Which just might leave Trixie out.

(Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group. New members and trope edits welcome.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Obiter dicta -- things said in passing.

A collection of short stories, vignettes, and delete scenes, mostly based in the Civil Serviceverse and tending to be either slice of life or comedy. Also contains contest entries including FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns.

Currently contains:

1. An Afternoon For Dotted Line [slice of life] [comedy]
2. The Game The Princesses Play [comedy]
3. On the Inaccuracy of Proverbs [slice of life] [comedy][sad]
4. The Nature of War [history]
5. On Forensic Accounting & Choral Singing [comedy]
6. Hoofprints [human][sad]
7. Dr. Spinning Top—Specimen Annotated Daily Schedule [slice of life]
8. Love and Other Acquired Tastes [comedy][sad]
9. Any Other Business? [comedy]
10. Songs Like Snow [romance]
11. Civics [comedy]
12. The Other Princess [slice of life] [comedy]