One day you were living an ordinary, dreary life. The next, you were in a magical world of friendship and ponies. Your new life took a lot of getting used to, but you eventually found happiness in your new friends, particularly the ruler of Equestria herself, Princess Celestia. Then one day, you found yourself somehow saving the world, and Celestia wanted to thank you by offering you one request. Feeling content with your life, you decide to make the best use of the request that you can think of by helping Celestia with whatever seems to be bothering her. But getting Celestia to open up to you about her troubles may be more difficult than you first imagined. Tea for two it is, then.

Pinkie Pie is a great friend to everyone in Ponyville. That's just common knowledge. Even you, the resident human, aren't safe from her charm and enthusiasm. Over time, though, you've come to see her as more than just a friend. But considering how she greets everyone she knows with equal amounts of unbridled joy, you have no idea if you're as special to her as she is to you, or if you're just another name on a very long list of friends.

Princess Twilight Sparkle just made the awful mistake of accidentally giving you the ability to act consequence-free for a short span of time. You intend to make the most of it, but your friends aren't about to let you get away with it.

Uh, what is it you're trying to do, exactly?

When you woke up one morning, you weren't expecting to be greeted by candy-colored ponies ruled by a tyrant named Nightmare Moon. You also weren't expecting her to take such a liking to you. She's a bit cruel to her subjects, but you admittedly don't mind the preferential treatment she gives you. So... maybe you like her back?

Perhaps love is the one thing she's been missing.

The time has come for Celestia to have a one-to-one lesson with her personal protege, Twilight Sparkle. She is, no doubt, a bright young unicorn and it doesn't take her long to understand the overall concept of the teleportation and transfiguration spell. That is not to say the lesson went perfectly well as Twilight's magic takes a haywire spin and does things unimaginable coming from a foal.

Edit: Oh the stars and galaxies, this thing got featured on 05/02/2023!!! Thank you!!!

Second Edit: OMG! This is the first time my story landed on top of the featured list. Thank you so much!!!

Third Edit: Audiobook version by The Mystery Fluttershy Fan! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbCgCNefS8A

Fourth edit: Featured on Equestria Daily

This story is a sequel to Just Tell Me The Nasty Bits

Left at a loose end, the local human ends up being asked another question by the eternally-curious Rainbow. He doesn't think too much about why she might ask about what she's asking about. He probably should.
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I only put this up yesterday, what featured do? Huh?

Being from a completely different world means often being asked questions about that world. Rainbow asks a question she ends up slightly regretting.
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Wait, I got featured? What does that even mean?

Ever been bested by a sickeningly sweet pony, specifically one who wields the Elements of Harmony? Are you just tired of love and hope and kindness filling your world? I know I am. Come to the next meeting of Villains Anonymous, where no unjust deed of cruelty goes unrewarded. Discuss your beliefs of disaster and anarchy with your like-minded colleagues, speak of plans for your next big scheme for world domination, or just be a stuck-up jerk. Here at Villains Anonymous, all evil is welcome.

-Discord, The Spirit of Disharmony

P.S., Chrysalis, it's your turn to bring snacks.

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Updated 11/11/12

Seeing as how some of you want me to write more, I'll get on it soon.

This story is a sequel to Nightmare Moon is a...Salespony?!

Chrysalis has invaded Canterlot. However, Nightmare Moon is awaiting her with her sales proposals. Is there no end to her sales pitches?!

Set in "A Canterlot Wedding". Not to be taken seriously.

Fluttershy is a private mare. She keeps to herself when she can afford to, much preferring the company of animals to ponies. She doesn't like to really say why that is. She doesn't know how to tell anypony what happened. She doesn't know how to explain it or even where to start.

She just wonders if anypony else has heard the singing too.

A fic I wrote in a burst of inspiration while listening to In Birdsong by Everything Everything. Prereading done by the tremendously talented Red Parade. Cover art by SymbianL.