Before the School of Friendship, Cozy Glow tried to become an orphan.

_{(Story image is a cropped MLP show screencap from https://derpibooru.org/images/2246876)}

Is friendship REALLY the optimal technology? What if everypony could be happier by giving up some of our yucky, old-fashioned contact with reality?

A gentle satire of some science fictional ideas about "uploading" everyone's mind into a giant computer network.

Thanks go to Bananachips, who provided thoughtful preread comments that I probably misapplied.

(As usual, I made the cover image by editing MLP screen captures. Who knew that Alicorn Twilight even HAD a black catsuit? Now she does!)

_{(Does not require reading "Friendship is Optimal.")}

Did you ever read one of those stories where the author can't keep track of the difference between past and present tense?

Try LIVING IN one.

A pony goes to see a doctor, because he sometimes loses track of when things happen. Sometimes he also has trouble saying ponies' names.

But two things help him survive. One of them is hope. The other is Lavender Unicorn Syndrome.

(I made the story image by editing show screencaps, because why not?)

Some ponies who work in retail marvel at the stupid questions customers ask.

But wherever there's a problem, there's an opportunity.

(Maybe even an inexhaustible resource.)

This story is dedicated to Daniel P. You know what you did.

(Story image is from the MLP show.)

When human Pinkie Pie visits Equestria, she has to be a pony. And ponies can't have hands. Why is that?

Pinkie takes a hands-on approach to finding out.

(Contains at least one ridiculous or sensible origin story.)

Equestrian bank security is different than you might expect. And Rarity is very generous. But there are some things she can't easily forgive.

(Whether this story represents a 'story behind the story,' or an AU instead, is...debatable.)

Twilight Sparkle demands an explanation. She spends most of the story getting it.

Twilight isn't a kleptomaniac. She just likes things that remind her of Celestia.

How in Equestria did a filly even GET a jar of cyanide pills?

Being a ten year old filly can be complicated.

I kept the red tag content mild, because most of this story is about a ten year old filly.

For once, Suri Polomare has an original idea. Unfortunately, it's a new way to steal other creatures' creative work.

So why is Princess Twilight helping her?

I wondered, how could a cover image that ridiculously inserts Equestrian pony stuff into a classic work of great human art, be made a fully accurate (if possibly misleading) depiction of a scene within the story itself?

(Story's cover image: Based on a pieta by Annibale Carracci, 1550-1609. Some alterations by me.)

Content Warning: Twilight Sparkle is not a perfect source of information on the human worlds' theologies.