//------------------------------//
// A Very Special Package 
// Story: Poison Pills and Comfort Gore 
// by Mockingbirb 
//------------------------------//

"Momma? Can I go play outside?"

"Mm," Meadows' mother mumbled.

Good enough. Meadows went out the back door, looped around to the front yard, and checked the mailbox.

Her package had arrived. She even checked the return address, just to be sure.

When she shook the package, she could feel the weight of something inside it. But there wasn't any rattle. Were the pills cushioned with cotton, to protect them from breaking in transit?

If anything, the weight seemed like...more than it should be. She pulled off the packing tape and ripped open the package. The first thing she found was a lot of cotton.

No matter how much she ripped through the packing material, she couldn't find a single pill. But she had received something else...a strange solid object, like a soot-dusted, fire-blackened cone, but bent into a slight curve.

"What a ripoff!" she wanted to scream. "I sent three whole weeks of my allowance, and I didn't even get one cyanide pill. Instead I got this...stupid thing.

"And what IS it?" she said to herself with disgust. "Some kind of...fake unicorn horn? A prosthetic? Part of a Nightmare Night costume? Or maybe...one of those icky toys some grownups play with sometimes?" She dropped it in disgust. "I could never kill myself or anypony else with this stupid thing. It isn't even sharp."

A voice seemed to speak inside Meadows' head. "Kill somepony?" the voice said. "I can help you with that. I can help you with many things. What are your needs, little one? What are your darkest desires?"

"Ick," Meadows said. Maybe she wouldn't mind being spoken to by a mysterious, magical voice. But she didn't like the way it called her 'little one.' She didn't really like the way it felt like a big, deep, nasty booming echoing in her head. And she felt sure it was talking down to her and pretending to sympathize with her, only to set her up to be disappointed or worse.

And what could she do with such a disgusting thing? Probably grownups HAD played with it in icky ways. That would be just like them. Not that it would be any good even if they hadn't.

There wouldn't be any point in complaining to a grownup. Grownups were useless at best, and at worst...they just made everything worse.

Meadows looked down the street, and she saw the mailmare, Derpy Hooves. Derpy was so goofy, and so funny. Every time Meadows saw Derpy, Meadows wanted to smile. To Meadows, Derpy didn't really feel like a grownup at all.

Meadows made a snap decision. She shoved the thing back into its box, and trotted after Derpy. 

Derpy started out far ahead of Meadows. But Derpy had to stop at nearly every house to take things out of the mailbox or put things in, and had to walk up to some houses if a mail slot was built into the house. After maybe ten or fifteen minutes, Meadows caught up to the mailmare.

"Derpy?" Meadows said.

The mailmare smiled at the filly, looking at her with one eye at a time. "Hello, Meadows. How are you today?"

"I got something weird and icky in the mail. It tries to talk at me in my head, and it says it can kill ponies for me. It keeps asking me about darkest desires." Meadows shivered. "I don't want it. I think maybe it's evil."

Derpy's smile changed to a serious, fierce expression. Meadows had never seen Derpy look like this before. Even though it was a grownup kind of expression, it didn't make Meadows feel bad. It made Meadows feel protected.

For a moment, Meadows envied Dinky Doo Hooves. Was this how a mother was supposed to make you feel?

Derpy walked to the middle of the nearest lawn, set down her mailbag, and pulled out a long pair of tongs. She gave Meadows a look, and the filly understood that Derpy wanted Meadows to set the box down on the lawn. Slowly and carefully, Derpy used the tongs to pull shreds of cotton out of the box, until she found the object of Meadows' complaint.

"Is this it?" Derpy asked seriously.

"That's the thing that touched my mind," Meadows said.

Derpy used the tongs to put the offensive object back inside the box, and repacked the cotton.

"Thank you for telling me," Derpy said. "A lot of ponies wouldn't know the right way to handle something like this. Some ponies might do something very bad. I'm glad you thought first, instead of letting it trick you into doing something terrible."

Meadows was used to having ponies ask her why she hadn't thought before she'd done something. "What were you thinking?" her mother asked her all too often. But being praised for having thought instead of doing something stupid was new to her. It felt good.

"Most grownups are horseapples," Meadows said. "But you're ok, Derpy."

"Thank you," Derpy said. "I like you too." The mailmare's goofy-looking smile reappeared.

"You're welcome," Meadows said. "I mean, thank you too." She eyed the package suspiciously. "But what can we do with this thing?"

Derpy's smile grew even bigger. "There's a very special class of mail for things like this, to send them to somepony who knows how to keep them from hurting anycreature." Her fierce expression returned. "This thing will never hurt anycreature ever again."

***

Above the grassy field, the stars shone brightly. Twilight Sparkle walked out of the trees, and greeted the little filly. 

"Am I...dreaming?" Dark Meadows said.

Twilight Sparkle nodded. "I think so. No, I'm sure of it." Twilight smiled. "But this is a great chance to talk."

Meadows asked, "Why would a princess want to talk to me?"

"About something you gave to Derpy."

"I--I didn't mean to do it!"

"Fear not," Twilight said. "You did the right thing. Derpy sent it in to the Equestrian Guard just like she said she would. And the Equestrian Guard was so very happy to get it. The entire Equestrian Guard, all across Equestria and beyond, had been on the lookout for the Horn of Sombra." Twilight paused to take a breath.

"What we expected," Twilight explained, "is that one day, we would start to see clues to the existence of some pony who was a powerful and very evil villain. They might be very cunning and treacherous. Maybe they would be somepony who hides in the shadows and gathers power, working towards the day when they might make all Equestria their slaves. Or maybe they would seem to be working openly, a pony who made other ponies think they were good...but using their position to do evil in secret."

"That sounds bucked up," Meadows said.

Twilight smiled. "I agree with you. But that's the kind of thing villains like Sombra do. They try to use other ponies to do their evil will, until it might be too late to stop them. In the Crystal Empire, Sombra ruled for years, making everypony miserable. Even the ponies who Sombra promised to help, making them trust him...he betrayed even those ponies in the end."

Meadows shook her head. "Couldn't ponies SEE? Somepony who tries to take advantage of your hate to hurt ponies isn't somepony you should trust."

"I'm glad you see that," Twilight said. "I wish everypony understood. But not everypony does."

"So what are you going to do?" Meadows said in a half-sarcastic tone. "Give me a medal? For doing what the entire Equestrian Guard couldn't?"

"That's a good question," Twilight agreed. "What should I do? What might you like, that isn't evil?"

Meadows just looked at Twilight.

"It's worth thinking about," Twilight said. 

Meadows said, "I hate my parents."

Twilight didn't tell Meadow that she was bad for saying that, or that she couldn't possibly mean it. Twilight just listened, and waited for more. 

Meadows explained, "I guess...maybe I mostly just hate some of the things they do. Like moving me from one town to the next so fast I can hardly make friends. And if I do make a friend, we get torn apart almost before we know if we're really friends." 

"Also, my mom picks on me a lot. And on my dad too. Do you know what Derpy did, when I brought her that...thing? Derpy said it was smart of me to think before I did something stupid. My mother always talks the opposite way. I think she only notices what I do wrong. Or what she thinks I did wrong. No wonder she and Daddy can't get along."

Twilight restrained herself from saying, Aha! A friendship problem! The important thing was listening to what Meadow had to say, not imposing Twilight's own thoughts on it.

But sometimes, part of listening is saying what you think about what you've heard. It's not always easy to balance.

"Is that the main thing?" Twilight asked. "If there's anything else you want, you can tell me, whenever you want to. Now, or later, or both."

Meadows thought for a moment. "Mostly. Those are the two main things I want."

"Ok," Twilight said. "For the way your parents treat each other, and make you feel that you're getting picked on, relationship counseling might help. I can't promise that it will work, but it might be very helpful, if everypony in your family wants it to help."

Meadows grimaced. "Grownups are useless horseapples. I'm not sure they'll want to change. I don't know if Momma will ever trust Daddy."

Twilight inhaled. "It might be too early to know, whether they'll decide they want to change. They might see that they would be happier."

Meadows said in an argumentative tone, "But there's still the other problem. I hate always having to move around and lose all my friends faster than I can make them. My parents tell me if they're real friends, I should be able to keep them as pen pals. But it's not as easy as my parents seem to think it is."

Twilight nodded. "I think it can be harder, with little fillies. But even at my age, I've sometimes had trouble making pen pal friendships work."

"I just want friends who I can see every day. And do things with, and go to the same school with. And don't tell me to go to that stupid School of Friendship. What good is friendship if I don't know anything else?" Meadows snorted.

Twilight looked amused. "I think you're right...or right enough. The School of Friendship isn't all the education that anycreature needs. I approve of your good sense in seeing that."

"You're just talking down to me and pretending to agree!" Meadows said. "I don't know what you're up to, but I don't trust it. Not that every grownup means to do the wrong thing, but they just...make things wrong. Somehow."

Twilight stopped to think. "There IS a prestigious school that I think you're qualified for. Have you ever heard of the Guardsponies Children's Academy?"

Meadows said, "You have to have a parent in the Equestrian Guard, to be allowed in. Do you even know who my parents are?" Meadows snorted with disgust. "You ARE a horseapple. Just like the other grownups. Except for Derpy."

Twilight grinned with delight. "Derpy is your one exception?"

Meadows shrugged. "I know her some. And when I put her to the test, she was the one pony who came through for me. I call them like I see them."

Twilight nodded. "I like Derpy too. She's honest, and loyal, and kind hearted. Among her other good qualities. And she seems like a really good mother."

Meadows' face lit up. "Can Derpy adopt me? I would try really hard to be good! Because I think Derpy could at least see that I was trying."

Twilight looked completely shocked. After a moment, she said, "Now THAT was not a direction I anticipated this conversation going."

Meadows said angrily, "Are you saying you can't do it? Because a few minutes ago, you were talking like I'd saved all of Equestria from a terrible evil monster, and calling me a big hero, and asking me what I wanted. And now that you find out...you big horseapple."

Twilight said, "I think Derpy would be very flattered...no, genuinely complimented, to hear what you just asked me for. But we might want to think about choosing something a little bit different."

"Horseapple!"

"Derpy has a lot to do just with working at the Equestrian Post and raising Dinky as a single mother."

"You could marry her. Then she wouldn't have to work as a mailmare anymore. And Derpy could be a mother for both Dinky and me. I can tell she must be a good mother. She would probably be a great wife too."

Twilight looked stunned. "Wow. You...seem kind of eager to try to rearrange other ponies' lives, tonight."

Meadows blushed. "You're right. I don't want to be like my parents, always moving me around like a chess horse. But I think Derpy really would make a good wife."

"If she wanted to marry me," Twilight said. "And if I wanted to marry her. I mean, she's a great pony, but...maybe she and I wouldn't be right for each other in that way. Getting married is a big decision."

Meadows smiled playfully. "You're a princess, so you could just pass a law saying that you can have as many wives as you want. Then you could marry Derpy AND somepony else." Meadows laughed.

Twilight grinned back. "I'm glad you're seeing the humor in this. Because if you were completely serious, you could make it difficult for me."

Meadows laughed again. "If I was the adopted daughter of a princess, would I be a princess too, who could give royal orders? Could I ORDER you to marry Derpy?"

"It doesn't work that way. Otherwise Flurry Heart would never have to eat her vegetables, or go to bed when it's bedtime." Twilight chuckled. "Fortunately."

Twilight said, "Sometime when nopony else is around, or at least when the only ponies around are ponies who I trust to keep their mouths shut, I might tell Derpy about your suggestions. I think she'll feel honored. But I'm still not planning to marry Derpy."

Meadows giggled. "You should just go on a date with her. Find out if you two hit it off."

Twilight's mouth screwed up into a funny sort of smile. "No promises. If Derpy and I go on a date, it will be her and my decision, not yours. I have to respect what SHE wants."

"Ok," Meadows agreed. "That seems fair."

"But I want to talk a little more about GCA."

"The Guardsponies Children's Academy?"

"Right. If Derpy adopted you, it would hurt your parents' feelings terribly. It might even break their hearts...and it sounds like their hearts might be tottering as it is. But if you went to GCA, it would be generally understood that it's an honor for you to be allowed to go. And it is a very well respected school. They would probably feel it was a compliment to their family, not an insult to their parenting."

"But only guardsponies' children go there."

"True...so far." Twilight said. "But something about the Academy is starting to bother me. The children of Guardsponies go to school with other children of Guardsponies...it's all kind of...insular. Almost incestuous. Wait, maybe you shouldn't know that word. What I mean is, maybe it's too much of the same thing, mixed only with more of the same thing. The ponies there respect the traditions of the Equestrian Guard...so far. But sometimes I think the students there, and their parents, don't really understand and respect anything OTHER THAN the Equestrian Guard as well as they should."

Twilight winced. "And some of the problem runs both directions. Most civilians don't understand the Guard very well either."

Meadows said, "I heard somepony talking about that once. But...isn't your brother a member of the Equestrian Guard? Didn't he beat Chrysalis when she tried to take over Canterlot?"

Twilight said, "He helped. Shining Armor would be the first pony to tell you he didn't do it all by himself. It was thousands of ponies, all working together, that saved Canterlot."

"Mmm," Meadows said. "And you want me to be one of those thousands of ponies."

"Maybe. Mostly I just want you to have friends you can go to the same school with from one month to the next. Not for months, but for years. Loyal friends, I hope. And I think the Equestrian Guard understands loyalty. Still. So far. But if they get TOO used to all their best friends being only other Guardspony families...someday, their loyalties to anypony but other Guardsponies could change. I've already been seeing little signs. And Shining has too."

Meadows said, "You talked like you were here to reward me for saving Equestria from Sombra. But now it sounds like you just want me to do another job for you. Like some kind of spy, trying to save Equestria from something else."

Twilight half-smiled. "Not a spy, exactly. I mean, you can tell anypony you like that I think it's good for Guardsponies to have friends who aren't all other Guardsponies. You might be doing another job for me...but maybe it will be like saving Canterlot from Chrysalis. Thousands of ponies, all trying to help. And I promise you, I will do my best to see to it that you get a good education. And good friends. There will be ponies there who will respect the fact that somepony in your family helped to save Equestria from Sombra coming back. Although I wouldn't brag about it too much, if I were you. It would be sad if that was the only thing you ever talk about for the rest of your life. Like, hi, I made one good, responsible choice when I was ten years old, and now I'm going to make everypony sorry they have to hear me talk about it all the time."

Meadows giggled. "I think I understand. Don't brag, do. And do again."

"Yes!" Twilight agreed. "That's exactly right." She tilted her head slightly as she looked at the filly. "I think you really are worthy to study at the Academy." Twilight grinned. "I hope you'll consider it."

"I'll think about it," Meadows said. "I promise."

"Ask your parents about it. No, I'll send your family a letter, asking to meet with your entire family. Then we can all talk about it. If you tell your parents that Princess Twilight offered you a scholarship in a dream...well, I think they'll take it more seriously if it happens when everypony involved is awake."

Meadows giggled. "I think you're right." Her face turned serious. "But when I wake up...this is only a dream, right? How do I know you're really you? Because most ponies in dreams are just my imagination, right?"

Twilight gave it a bit of thought. "I want to leave you with a clue, at least. What can I do...?" Twilight's face lit up. "Here's an idea. If you wake up at the end of this dream...do you have a clock near your bed?"

"On my nightstand."

"At the end of this dream, I can tell you what time it is and we can wake you up. So you can look at the clock right after you wake up, and you'll know that somepony in our dream knew what time it really is. What time do you usually wake up?"

"My alarm clock is set for six thirty."

Twilight's face made a very odd expression for a moment, as if she was using some princessly connection with the heavens to check the condition of the sun and moon like a universe sized sundial. "It's six fourteen now. We don't have long." Twilight thought a little more. "Also, does your family get a newspaper?"

"The Ponyville Bugle. Momma cancelled the Foal Free Press because she doesn't like the ponyrazzi pictures of Celestia. She says they appeal to poo-rent interests. Like poo can even pay the rent?"

Twilight made a sound halfway between snorting and coughing, as her face took on a redder color.

"Are you ok?" Meadows asked with obvious concern.

Twilight stomped her hoof a couple times. "I'm fine. I was just...thinking. The Bugle will probably have a story on the latest conference with the Griffon Empire. If it doesn't get in today's edition, then tomorrow's. So in your dream, Princess Twilight told you Prince Rutherford made a surprise appearance and helped Equestria and the Griffons find more points of agreement."

Meadows sighed. "I'm only ten years old. Can't I wait to worry about those things when I'm older?"

"Sure," Twilight agreed. She stepped forward and hugged the filly. "You can worry about yak princes when you're older. And by the way, it's BEEN A LOVELY CHAT WAKE UP IT'S SIX SEVENTEEN!"

Startled, Meadows suddenly sat up in bed. "Yak princes...huh." She looked over at her little alarm clock. About six seventeen and a half.

Meadows laughed. It was just a dream, and a funny coincidence. Or was there more to it than that?

Maybe Derpy would know something, since Derpy was the mailpony who helped with saving Equestria from Sombra, and that was what Twilight and Meadows had talked about in the dream. 

Meadows could find Derpy to ask her. Derpy usually followed the same mail delivery route every day, the same places at about the same times. Almost as regular as a clock, you might say. Meadows remembered the dream with Twilight again, and giggled. Twilight was a clock too, in the dream. Or Twilight could tell you the time, at least.

Meadows got out of bed, looking forward to telling Derpy how Meadows had dreamed about Princess Twilight and the mailmare. Well, she'd dreamed about the princess talking about the mailmare. And Meadows trying to set up Derpy and the princess on a blind date! Would Derpy laugh at that? Meadows hoped Derpy would enjoy how funny it was.

And something else, in that dream. Meadows and Twilight had talked about how it seemed like nopony in Meadows' family ever said anything nice to each other, appreciating what they did right.

Meadows made herself a promise. This morning, she would say something nice to her daddy and momma. Had she made a promise to Twilight in the dream? Or had Twilight made a promise to Meadows? The dream was already starting to melt in the filly's memory. Dreams did that sometimes.

But at least Meadows would tell her family that she'd dreamed about talking to Twilight about trying to be nice to each other. Why didn't they try to appreciate each other?

Oh, yeah. Because grownups are mostly horseapples. Still, it was worth a try.

***

Twilight's eyes opened. She looked over at Luna, tonight again sitting in the same comfy chair, but asleep. Twilight slowly got out of bed, and heard Luna stir.

Luna smiled a knowing smile. "I think SOMEPONY had a good dream last night. I think it ended right before you got up. At..." Luna leaped out of the chair to cover the nearby clock with one hoof. "Six...six...come on, Twilight!"

"Seventeen," the young princess said. "You peeked at my dream! Cheater!"

Luna said with an overly serious expression, "It is my job, young mare. As you should know." She revealed the clock, showing the accuracy of Twilight's dream-timekeeping. "So are you enjoying your growing skill with dreams, Twilight?"

Twilight tilted her head quizzically. "I feel...well-rested. But already it seems to have a strange effect on my work schedule. Or maybe it's the other way around."

"Whatever do you mean, my little purple pony princess?"

Twilight snorted, wadded up a piece of paper with a name and address printed on it, and threw the harmless projectile at Luna. "I seem to have taken a meeting in my dream. I offered a scholarship to a young filly, to study at GCA. And I seem to have told her I'd meet with her family. And I...told her about the griffon meeting, and Prince Rutherford. And I said I'd send her family a letter asking to meet in the waking realm."

"Mmm-hmm," Luna said. "Was this one of the 'specific' ponies you'd been wanting to contact through her dreams? Like you were trying last week?" Luna shrugged. "I thought you'd given up on that. But maybe not."

Twilight blinked. "I think she WAS one of those ponies. Do you remember that very special package the Palace received from Derpy at the end of last week? This was the filly who tipped Derpy off and saved Equestria from the next return of King Sombra." Twilight blinked again. "But in the dream, she was also one of the ponies who were involved in the drug trafficking ring? That can't be right."

Luna smiled mischievously. "Dreams can seem very confusing, when you try to remember them."

"Yes," Twilight agreed. "It seems completely ridiculous."

Luna's horn levitated the ball of paper that Twilight had thrown at her. "But take some advice from an old hand at dreamwalking, my little purple friend. That letter you said you'd mail to the filly's family? Asking for a meeting in the daytime?" Luna tossed the paper back at Twilight, lodging it in the younger alicorn's messy bed-rumpled mane. "Make sure to follow through. Ask for the meeting, and meet with them, just in case." Luna winked. "When you woke up, and I used your own clock checking trick on you--good one, by the way--to try to show you there was more to your dream than most ponies might think? I did that for a reason, my adorable little student." 

Luna winked again.

"Point taken," Twilight said. "But are you trying to teach me, or are you trying to flirt with me?"

Luna levitated another piece of paper from the floor, crumpled it, and threw it at Twilight. It lodged in her mane. Luna smiled. "Do I have to pick only one? Or can I have both?"

"No," Twilight said. "I mean, yes! Yes, you can pick both. I think I'd like that."

Luna mock-pouted. "As much as it might disappoint Derpy!" the lunar princess pretended to scold Twilight. "If I remember your matchmaker's arrangements, made somewhat earlier this morning."

"I remember that part of the dream," Twilight said. She shuffled over to Luna, and embraced her. "She suggested I could issue a royal proclamation to allow myself multiple wives, and marry both Derpy AND you." Twilight nuzzled Luna. "She didn't mention you SPECIFICALLY...but I'm pretty sure that's what she meant."

"Oooh," Luna said. "Are you ready to issue a few royal proclamations right now? In this very room?"

"You tempt me," Twilight replied. Inspired by her teacher's recent flirting--not to mention Luna's history as Nightmare Moon--Twilight tried to grin wickedly. "I'll try to come up with some good ones."

Luna whispered in her ear, "You'd better."