What if ponies replaced humans in the Mass Effect universe? Will Commander Sparkle save the day like Shepard did?

Special thanks to vimbert and 108Echoes from Ponychan's /fic/ for proofreading and conceptual ideas.

The GDoc links, if FimFiction does not fancy you. This is both my working copy and the originals that was published on Equestria Daily.

Sly Clop is a laid back slacker who runs one of Ponyville's only porn shops on Soresaddle Street. He is a regular customer of Hard Cider's "gentlecolt's club", the Knife and Apple, where he regularly shoots the breeze with Rainbow Dash, who's seen better days.

One day, his only employee quits, and he's forced to hire a new one, starting a new awkward relationship with Lyra, who needs cash. What follows is a lighthearted fic with dark undertones that I hope you'll enjoy.

And if I haven't convinced you enough by this point, no, this not a clopfic.

New cover image by mickf18 on deviantART (DeusExKane here).

When Lyra Proposes to Bon-Bon, Pinkie's zealous promotion of the noble wedding of the century attracts some unexpected and unwanted attention. Can Pinkie and her party ponies pull off the biggest wedding Ponyville's ever seen to give the two most deserving ponies a happily ever after?

When one of Fluttershy's dear animal companions wanders into the Everfree, she sets out to bring him home safely - but what she finds at the center of the forest is something she didn't expect, and something that ushers in a change to her world that makes each day darker than the last.