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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I cant help but feel for her but, shes taking it all very well id expect more tears or fits of anger from some one in this position lol but this is a story and she is a fricken magical talking tecnocoloered pony man thing so logic and basic human reaction may not apply lol
A bit short of a chapter, but it was amusing enough I suppose, and provided an interesting point of how magic worked.
i have a feeling the mental change is going a BIT too far
Talk about sex change LOL
Personaly, I find it ironic that his last name is Tune, and he pretty much changed into Vinal Scratch.
Oh, jeez. Finally, I get a new Chapter, and I'm already distracting myself from the story by correcting every She and Her to Him, His, and He. I can't do it. I just can't use those words to describe James's gender.
No. To me, he will always be a man. He will always be that scruffy, pudgy, completely average man. A new body and gender will never make me forgot his roots.
Though... Sadly, for him, he seems to already be forgetting about his Humanity. He's already thinking Pony. His mind is changing along with his body... What a fate.
At least he's finally getting in some Magic Training. That ought to be fun, if not, REALLY exhausting. I can only imagine what it's like for first timers. Must be hell. So, I wish good luck to James and his future endeavors in magic, and hopefully finding the way to turn himself back into that lovable human I found i enjoyed, quite a lot.
The first human character I liked, and he's already a pony... Oh well. Still have good ol' Qubert.
So he's vinyl?
Colgate Approves
lh3.googleusercontent.com/-V0WsoPUWCx8/UiZ1uY6z7VI/AAAAAAAAvZI/0ghfW-_9VuQ/s1600/MLPFIMColgateToothBrush.png
3188739 nope, vinyl has red eyes
likey likey
Seriously, brainwashing? I smell Conversion Bureau.
4842788 Brainwashing?! Where?
There is an important distinction between alteration of brain chemistry to match one's new species, and the cleansing and replacing of cultural ideals and personal values in a way that aims to achieve a specific goal.
Although I wouldn't doubt there's perhaps a little bit of light noggin dusting being done, considering the being that initiated the transformation, and his expressed goals. It wouldn't do for the subject- I mean the winner to be driven to suicide by the sudden and near-complete destruction of their former life, and their metamorphosis into different, alien even, species. Pretty hard to tell at this point, considering that we've not really seen what Tune was like before they received the package in the mail.
I think this story could do with a wee bit fewer minor details. Stick to the ones that are more important to know about, in order to understand the events, and whatever other things your trying to express. I realize there will be a need for more details, when trying to paint the scenes, which feature something the audience is assumed not to be familiar with (either because it is something that few encounter, or it is something new, that no one sees in "real life", other other reasons (I'm tired, and I can't articulate my thoughts very well right now.)). And also, why does Tune speak all his/her thoughts out-loud so much? (It is starting to feel weird.) (Sorry for saying this in two different comments, so closely posted together by time. I am suffering poor judgment methinks.)
Dear god the self dialogue is so fucking awful! Is fucking painful to read.
2613205 Only two years late on this! Woo!
Panicking gets you nowhere, people who realize this can often neglect panicking until a safe and stable place has been found for an extended period of time. It's the same way that leaders in the battlefield rarely show signs of stress.
He/she isn't the sharpest tool in the shed is she/he? He/she just read how ME can literally kill an unicorn and what does she/he do? Practices magic until he/she passes out...
Nice work so far, well done.
3294752
Is she... tap dancing with a tooth brush cane?
if you squint, this is basically five score
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Admittedly, Five Score was the original inspiration for the pony side of things, but the general story was already done in a non-mlp story of mine from years earlier. I just got inspired to adapt it after reading 5 score.
I'm getting more than a couple Well World vibes and, even if it's unintentional, I love it.
I've gotta know. WHY WET THE TOOTHBRUSH??? I have NEVER understood the point! Your saliva means your mouth is wet! There's no obvious reason to fucking wet the damn toothbrush!
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Not wetting your toothbrush is like pouring your milk in a boal before your cereal.
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You gotta get your hair (the toothbrush bristles) wet in order to apply the shampoo (toothpaste) and have it clean your 'hair'.
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Not wetting your toothbrush is more like having plain cereal, no milk at all.
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NO NOT AGAIN!
seriously I JUST READ THAT!