• Published 14th May 2013
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Rainbow Flash and the Mysterious Mare Do Well - HoovesMcCoy



Twilight and Rainbow Dash investigate a comic book with suspicious parallels to their lives.

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Issue #4: True Heroes

Rainbow Dash woke to somepony shaking her back and forth, repeating her name in an oddly familiar way. "Where am I?" She managed to croak out. It felt like waking up after a night of far too much cider.

"Oh Rainbow Dash, you're awake." Her biggest fan was buzzing her little orange wings in excitement. "I'm so glad you're awake. This is all part of your plan to save us, right? Sweetie didn't believe me, but I just knew this was part of your plan."

"Sure is, Squirt." Dash gave the cockiest grin she could manage—it wasn't up to her usual standards thanks to the throbbing in her skull and the aching in her wings—but it was enough to see the worry disappear from Scootaloo's face. Beside the little pegasus, Rarity's little sister and another unicorn filly—was that Derpy's kid?—smiled hopefully at her. A few other ponies huddled against the far wall but it was impossible to make out who they were in the dim light of the flickering torches lining the walls.

Dash tried to stand up and cold metal bit into her neck. She grunted and lay back down, frustrated. A short iron chain dangled from a collar around her neck an was bolted into the floor a foot away.

"Who else is in here with us, kid?"

"Well Sweetie and Apple Bloom and Spike came looking for me and they ended up foalnapped too. And Sweetie told me you got Twilight to sign my comic book too! That was so nice of you Rainbow Dash."

Dash finally broke out into a smile. If a filly like Scootaloo was cool with this dungeon she couldn't go letting it get her down. She raised an eyebrow expectantly at Scootaloo, who looked confused for a moment before realizing she had barely told Dash anything.

"Then Dinky here got caught and they brought her in and chained her up with us. We're going to make her an official crusader when you get us out of here."

Dash gave her an expectant look and motioned for Scootaloo to go on. "So anyway, Dinky's sister Sparkler and their mom came looking too and then they got caught. But now you're here! I knew you'd come to save us Rainbow Dash." The filly looked like she didn't have a fear in the world.

Why can't I just be as smart a pony as she thinks I am? Twi was right. Twi's always right. I should have just— Rainbow felt a tugging on her mane and looked over to see Sweetie Belle looking forlornly up at her. "Why aren't Rarity and Applejack in here with us? They came with you didn't they? D-did something happen to Rarity?" The tears welling up around the little unicorn's eyes were just too much to bear.

"I'm sure your sisters are out looking for us right now," Rainbow looked away, rubbing her right hoof against her leg. "I didn't have time to bring them along; I found out Scoots here was in trouble and I just flew off."

"So how'd y'all know where we was then?" Apple Bloom muttered from the left. She was chained to the same wall as Rainbow Dash, but in the poorly lit cave she had been nearly invisible.

"Twilight and I figured it out." Dash brightened up at this. "Oh yeah, so Twilight should be on her way. I'm sure she'll bring along the girls."

There was a murmur of voices and a low grinding of stone on stone. A dimly lit crack appeared in the wall and grew until she could see the silhouettes of two ponies in the darkness.

"This is getting ridiculous," said one of the two ponies as she walked into the chamber. Her voice was gravelly and old, but as she passed in front of a torch, Rainbow could see the shape on an unconscious unicorn on her back. She had trouble imagining Granny Smith carrying another pony around that easily.

"Even after all these years, we really only needed five sacrifices. We've only ever needed five sacrifices. Otherwise we'd have installed more chains in this Celestia damned cave."

"Shhhhhh. Don't say that name in here. The god doesn't like it."

"Well we're feeding him twice his usual meal, he'll get over it I think."

"It makes me nervous when you talk that way Goody."

"Well it makes me nervous when we have to let half of our prisoners loose. Obviously we'll unchain the little earth pony, but who's your pick for the other: baby dragon or that younger unicorn?"

"Dragon, definitely. He hasn't shown much resistance since I clobbered him that first time. 'Sides, you can't trust a unicorn." Shortly after they reached the far wall where the other ponies were chained up, there was a rattle of metal on metal. Something went flying across the room and thumped into the wall near Dash.

A small purple dragon slid to the floor next to her, muttering something about not being allowed to nap in peace. He slumped in the corner beside Dash, glaring at the old ponies across the room.

"Don't be racist Agnus, 'specially not around impressionable fillies."

The old pony named Agnus trotted over toward Dash, heading for the chain to her left where Apple Bloom was tied up. The hindquarters and tail of the pony slumped across her back looked terribly familiar. Dash's heart jumped to her throat at the sight of the cutie mark adorning those purple flanks. It was Twilight. The shriveled blue earth pony rattled the chains around for a moment, and a Apple Bloom tumbled out into the center of the room. She wobbled to her feet with some help from Sweetie Belle.

"I'm not sayin' they're worse than us. I let the little non-magic ones loose didn't I? I'm just sayin' they're tricky. Don't ever give a unicorn room to get up to any—."

"Now girls, git 'em!"

"Cutie Mark Crusader Jailbreakers, attack!" The three-filly harmony seemed somehow fiercer than usual. Not that it did them any good. Scootaloo jumped from Sweetie Belle's back straight at the face of the old mare while Apple Bloom and Dinky charged. Agnus ducked with all the agility of a old cat—experienced rather than decrepit. Scootaloo tumbled through the air overhead and smacked into the wall. The ancient mare held Dinky and Apple Bloom at hoof-length with her two forelegs, both fillies swinging wildly but uselessly.

Scootaloo picked herself up and eyed the opening that served as a door. Rainbow met her eyes and made shooing motions with her hooves, trying to convince her little fan to escape and get help. With a shake of her head, Scootaloo backed up for a running start and charged Agnus from behind. She was bucked aside effortlessly.

Goody, who turned out to be a tan earth pony even more wrinkled than the Agnus, crept up behind Apple Bloom and Dinky, bonking them each sharply on the head. They both collapsed to the floor. "Little fillies too much for you, Aggie?"

Agnus gave a low whiny, "I had it handled. But you're right, having this many sacrifices is more trouble than it's worth. I'll talk to Gert, see if we can't move the ceremony up to tonight."

She turned to address the captive ponies, "Now listen up you lot, we'll be back in a couple o' hours. With these two ponies we just captured, we got more sacrifices than we need. Might be the god isn't as hungry as all that. So anypony that tries to escape is gonna be dinner fer sure. But if a couple of you behave yourselves, we'll pick one or two as gets to go free."

The two old ponies turned and trotted briskly out of the room, sliding what must have been a huge boulder back in front of the door without so much as a grunt.

Twilight groaned and struggled to sit up. She yelped as the iron collar bit into her neck and yanked her mane. She rubbed her eyes with a hoof and peered around the dimly-lit room.

"What happened? Where are we Pinkie?"

From the other side of the cave an incongruously bubbly voice answered, "We've successfully infiltrated the secret lair! You should totally consider being an actress, Twilight. You did an even better job pretending to get knocked out than I did!"

"Uh, thanks?"

Rainbow jumped in before Pinkie could sidetrack things, "So is this your rescue plan, Twi?"

"I don't know if it's exactly according to plan, but I left a note for Spike to send to the Princess, so we should have backup on the way."

"Ummm, Twilight?"

"Yes Spike? Oh." Twilight's smile drooped. "So you haven't been back to the library recently I take it."

"Not since last night. The last thing I sent was about you going off to Manehattan. I don't have any paper or I'd have written her already." The little dragon waddled over to Twilight hugged her around the neck.

"They confiscated my saddlebags too. I guess we're on our own then. Let's get planning." Twilight clapped her hooves together, having seemingly contracted Pinkie's bizarre chipperness. "Okay, Spike, let's take an inventory. What do we have. Everypony speak up if you've got anything we could use or any good ideas please."

"Well, we've got the chains you're tied to if we can get them off you, and the torches. And, um... rocks?" Spike looked around the walls of the cave. "And I could light the rest of the torches, but that's about it."

"Okay, well what about special skills? My horn is injured so I'm afraid I'm not much help."

Spike was going around lighting the rest of the torches, letting loose a long, thin flame up the wall at each. It sometimes took him a few tries, but the cave was growing brighter, and the light seemed to restore some hope to everypony else.

A fuchsia unicorn with a purple mane spoke up from the back. "I can still cast. I just don't know very many spells. Nothing besides basic telekinesis and my special gem cutting spell." She gestured vaguely to the trio of gemstones on her flank.

"That's okay, um... Sparkler, right? That could come in handy, I think I can probably teach you a new trick."

Dash flared her wings. "You've got me Twi. If you get me out of these chains I can take down all of those old crones."

"I'm kinda strong too," Derpy chimed in. "Ponies don't usually notice because I'm clumsy, but we have to move a lot of heavy boxes at the delivery company."

"Ooh ooh ooh, pick me. I have all kinds of special skills Twilight! I'm good at throwing parties, and playing games and baking and disguises and pretending to get captured and—"

"And you have your Pinkie sense," Twilight interrupted. "And unless you had a lot of help with the writing, you've got a better understanding of the ancient religion these ponies are practicing. You literally wrote the book on it," she chuckled to herself.

"Okay, well first things first. We need to get out of these chains before those olden ponies come back. Not that I don't appreciate your combat prowess girls," Twilight smiled at the fillies, "but we'll stand a much better chance if we can all help each other. Sparkler, have you tried cutting through the collars with your gem cutting spell?"

"It doesn't work."

"Well, with some time I could teach you a knock spell, but I think it'd easier if we adapt something from your special talent. If I try to open these collars right now I'm liable to blow our heads off, so you're our best hope. Tell me about what it feels like when you use your gem cutting spell."

"Well, I close my eyes and sort of reach out with the magic, just like telekinesis. But I focus more and it's like using a really really strong magnifying glass. I can see all the little tiny crystals that make up the big crystal. They're fuzzy, like I can't really see them but I can sense where the crystal changes from cracks or imperfections. Then I just find some of those lines in the gemstone where all the little crystals line up, and I sort of slide the gem apart."

"Okay, good. But when you try to slide the iron apart it just sort of slips a bit and doesn't change at all, right?"

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"Thats why iron is more malleable than gems are, the crystal lattice can slide around more easily without snapping. Without a lot more practice, you're not going to be able to break through one of these collars, but you should be able to break the hinge open. Focus on the spot where the collar closes around your neck. There is a little iron pin that goes through both halves of the collar, the hinge rotates around it. Close your eyes and focus only on that pin."

"Okay..."

"The hinge looks to be the same cast iron as the collars, so it should be made of iron and carbon. As the iron was cooled, that carbon crystallized, and some of it crystallized into sheets of graphite. The same stuff we use in pencils. With your spell you can find the places where the iron stops being all mixed together and you have a little sheet of graphite. Find the spot in the pin with the most graphite and you should be able to snap it along that line. Then just use your telekinesis to pull the halves of the pin out either end and the collar should fall off."

Sparkler closed her eyes and her horn glowed a mulberry color just a bit different from Twilight's. She concentrated for a minute. Dash couldn't see anything happening. She was about to ask if it was working when she heard the tinkling of two little bits of metal hitting the floor, followed by a louder clang.

The young unicorn looked at Twilight, surprised with herself. Twilight grinned back at her. "Great job, now free the rest of us please."

Sparkler touched her horn against Derpy's collar, and with the contact it seemed to go faster. After a moment Derpy was free as well. Sparkler toured the room, destroying each collar in turn. At last she came to Rainbow Dash. As the bits of pin tinkled to the floor, Dash spread her wings and jumped into the air. She did three or four laps around the room, brushing her mane against the ceiling, before coming to the rest in the center.

"It feels so good to stretch. Okay, so now what, Twi?"

Twilight suppressed her giggling with a bit of effort. "Now we plan our escape and wait for them to come back and open the way. I don't think any of us can move this boulder." She was examining the huge rock blocking the doorway. "Those ponies must be very strong to move a rock like this, even with good leverage. I'm worried there actually may be something to this 'god' they want to sacrifice us to."

Pinkie Pie jumped onto her back hooves. Her hair went flat, then puffed out again. Her left eye twitched wildly and her fur stood on end, giving her an oddly fluffy appearance. She bounced into the air three times, then fell to her knees, shuddering.

"What was that one?"

"Magic. Really powerful magic coming back from a long vacation. Last time I felt that one was the morning Discord woke up."

"Thats not a good sign," Derpy muttered.

Twilight rubbed a hoof against her chin. "It doesn't necessarily indicate the same level of power Discord has. I still don't know how Pinkie... works, exactly, but you'd expect there to be a burst of magical energy whenever the consciousness of a divine or semi-divine being enters the world. Maybe she's sensing that."

"Regardless, I think we can assume they moved up the timeline for their sacrifice," Twilight said. "They'll be back for us soon, I expect."

Dash took a commanding tone, "Okay fillies get over there," she said, pointing to the corner nearest the entrance, "and be prepared to run out when we have those old mares distracted. Try to make it out of here, we'll catch up when we can. Twilight and Sparkler, you two take the second one through the door, try to knock her out and definitely don't let her escape." She flew to a spot just over the entrance, hovering in place. "Derpy, I want you up here with me. We wait until the second one comes through, then we dive at the first one and carry her over to the wall. Pinkie, you get over near the chain across from the door, where they had you tied up. You're in charge of tying up first mare we bring you, then go help Twilight and Sparkler."

"You forgot me," Spike mummered. Before Dash could come up with a task for him, Twilight jumped in.

"Go with the fillies, Spike. Don't stop and don't come back for us until you can get a message to the Princess."

"Okay Twilight. You're sure you'll be okay?"

Twilight smiled reassuringly at her assistant, "I'll be fine, I just want to be sure you and the girls are safe."

The raspy voices of their jailers emerged from somewhere beyond the boulder. Everypony scrambled to their places just as the massive stone rolled aside. Agnus and Goody reentered the room, each mare holding a damp cloth. Even from a few feet above them, Dash could smell the overpowering odor drifting up to her. It was the same stuff they had used to knock her out.

As she walked in, Agnus raised her voice, "Bad news for you lot, the master is awake. And he's very hungry after sleeping for so many years. It's been nearly a century since he last ate. I think he's going to want a second helping."

Only then did the two earth ponies look around and notice the empty chains around the cave.

"Now!"

Dash and Derpy dove toward Agnus; Twilight and Sparkler were instantly standing between Goody and the exit. The two unicorns lowered their horns as if they were about to charge.

Dash buzzed her wings trying to eke every extra bit of speed she could out of her dive. In such close quarters it was hard to move fast enough. The smell began to make her dizzy, but she closed her eyes and rammed head-first into the old pony. Flapping as hard as she could, Dash plowed the mare toward the far wall. There was a soft flutter and a thud as Derpy dropped away to the side somewhere, then a shudder went through Dash's neck she slammed the old mare into the rough-hewn rock wall. Dash collapsed to the ground. She tried to open her eyes, but the room swirled around her.

"Let me get that for you Dashie."

Something bright pink flashed into view. There was a complicated series of rattles and clanks and then it was gone. As Dash scrambled backwards, her vision cleared enough to for details to come back into focus. Agnus was lying on her back, hog-tied with the chain still attached to the wall where Pinkie had been chained up less than an hour ago. Her dusky blue head flopped to the side, still stunned from her impact with the wall. Rainbow turned around to survey the room.

Derpy was lying in the middle of the room, wheezing. Sparkler was slumped against the wall. Goody must have bucked her pretty hard. Twilight eyed the tawny earth pony and was pawing at the ground like she was going to charge, even without magic. For how scared she could be sometimes, that pony knew no fear when the bits were down.

Just as Twilight began her charge and the earth pony braced herself for impact, a magenta aura grasped one of the soaking cloths that had been dropped on the ground in the scuffle. Sparkler glared as she rose to her hooves and magically wrapped the rag around Goody's nose. The old pony collapsed in a heap well before Twilight reached her. That stuff really was strong.

Twilight took a few deep breaths, composing herself. "Good job Sparkler. Dash, could you come here and help me carry her to the chains?"

Rainbow flew over and although she didn't really need any help from Twilight, she let the unicorn help her marehandle the old pony to the wall. She was surprisingly light despite the unnatural strength and vitality. Twilight pulled a chain over from either side of the mare and tied one around each of her forelegs, leaving her sprawled on the floor. She nibbled on her lower lip as she tied some complicated series of knots Rainbow couldn't quite follow. With a yank on each chain to make sure they were tight enough, Twilight stoop over her former captor and brushed the dust from her hooves.

Sparkler was helping her mother to her hooves, having left the other rag with that weird sleep potion hanging over Agnus' snout. Dash and Twilight trotted to the door and waited for the other three mares. Dash lead the way out of the cave only to trip over Dinky standing at the entrance. Spike and the rest of the fillies were gathered around, mouths gaping at something as they stared through the narrow passageway and out into the vast cavern it opened into. An underground river dropped from somewhere above them in a thunderous waterfall. At the bottom was a deep pool from which rose a greenish black thing. It looked vaguely like an enormous toad with antlers, but there was something feline about the shape of its head and the way it moved—like a fog bank rolling in—reminded Dash of no animal at all.

"I think we're gonna need a new plan," she said.

#

The huge toad-god turned it's pony-sized eye towards her, as if it were gazing into her soul. Twilight shuddered. All her faults, all her screwups, all the times she'd been a bad student or a bad friend rose to the top of her mind. With some effort, she averted her gaze and addressed the group.

"Pinkie, is that the thing you felt, do you think?"

"Yuppers!" The party pony was amazingly calm.

"Those books I read, from Screwy Loose's house. They seemed to imply this was some sort of summer harvest god. That's why the sacrifice has to happen at this time of year, right? And they said it was last fed around a century ago. There was a whole rash of disappearances eighty-nine years ago, in the middle of summer. It was the hottest summer on record, and a bumper year for Ponyville's crops. The authors of 'Witch-Cults in Western Equestria' used that as one of the prime examples of Pre-Celestian religions still operating in Equestria today."

Pinkie nodded, "That explains that cool book with the froggy on the cover! Loosey must have found out what it looked like."

"So what are we supposed to do about it," Dash asked.

"That's what I'm trying to work out." Twilight scratched her head, cataloging everything she knew about the monster in front of them. "Pinkie, you're a genius; that thing is probably an amphibian... more or less."

Everypony looked at her like she was crazy, so Twilight pressed on. "The winter after all those ponies went missing was a really cold one. When it gets cold, amphibians hibernate! It must have hibernated in this cave. And now it's woke up. But if we can somehow get it cold enough, it might go back to sleep again. We can at least slow it down long enough for Celestia and Luna to arrive."

"I can handle that," Dash said.

"It's going to take more than two Pegasi to generate a cold weather system in here with such limited airflow, Dash."

Rainbow puffed up her chest, "We don't need to create a low pressure system like that. We just need to get it cold enough to slow down, right. The Rainblow Dry." She looked around as if this should be obvious, but Twilight raised an eyebrow and everypony else just looked confused. "All we have to do is get it wet and use the dry air to evaporate the water. Every drop of evaporating water will suck more body heat out of that thing, with enough water it should get plenty cold."

Everypony but Derpy stared at Rainbow Dash. Twilight noticed her mouth was hanging open. "How do you know about science?!"

"It's pegasus stuff! I'm not completely clueless, Twi. I know all about water and air and temperature and junk. Come on Derpy, you're with me." Dash took off. Derpy gave Twilight a wide smile and leapt into the air after her.

"Rainbow Dash is so cool," sighed Scootaloo.

"Yeah she really is, isn't she?" said Twilight. It was easy to forget with all the bragging she did, but Dash really was one of the most impressive ponies she knew. And the bragging could be kind of cute sometimes. She tore her gaze away from Dash's retreating flanks and focused back on the group.

"Okay, Sparkler, go back to the cell, pick up those rags and use them to knock out anypony we run into. Someone had to summon that thing, there must be at least one more. Pinkie, you're in charge of protecting the Dinky and the crusaders. Keep them in this hallway until I yell that it's safe to move forward. Spike, jump on my back, you're coming with Sparkler and me."

Sparkler was already galloping back from the cell. Twilight motioned for her to be quiet and the two unicorns crept out onto the ramp leading down toward the lake. Sweetie Belle and Dinky in particular looked worried, but Pinkie was already doing her best to lighten their moods with some sort of complicated mime routine. Twilight stumbled along the uneven ramp and forced herself to pay more attention to where she was going. Dash was going to need all the help she could get.

#

"Okay Derpy, you get behind that waterfall and blow as much water as you can at this monster. I want this whole cave soaked in mist. When I move in, start making rainclouds and kick them over toward that thing's head."

With a nod, Derpy sped off toward the waterfall while Dash began to circle the cavern, looking for an opening. Getting in close was always the hardest part. It didn't take long for the beast to be soaked by the spray of mist arcing through the air and falling all around it. Derpy had surprisingly good aim.

The thing looked wet enough, and had started moving towards Twilight and Sparkler, so Dash dove towards its ankles and began circling as fast as she could. It took longer with something this big, but she raised a fairly powerful cyclone and had it dry again in no time. She took off for the ceiling and felt a warmer wind coming at her from the side. She juked left and just missed a shadowy claw swinging through the air at her.

Dash came to a rest atop one of the clouds floating overhead. She didn't have time to really catch her breath, but she took a few deep gulps of air before jumping up and down on the thick black cloud to make it rain.

When the thing looked even more wet than before, Dash waited for it to glance away from her and back to the pair of unicorns charging a dull-green earth pony near the edge of its lake. Dash tucked her wings to her sides and dove, almost brushing the surface of the water this time, before spiraling up around it. She circled faster and faster, she thought she could see the thing shivering just a bit. It was working!

She gave out a whoop of joy that her plan was working and tilted her wings to draw herself into a tighter spiral. She was going to get every drop of water off this thing. Just as she finished her final loop and took off toward the increasingly large raincloud overhead, something dark and slimy appeared in front of her.

Dash slammed into it hard, the wind completely knocked out of her. Something clammy and damp closed around her wings. She pushed against it as hard as she could, but she could barely move. It could crush her, but it didn't. Flinging her head wildly from side to side, Dash caught sight of its open mouth. It was going to eat her alive.

#

Twilight stood looking out at the rainbow tornado Dash was creating. Behind her, Sparkler tied up the old grey-green mare who seemed to be the high priest, while Spike rummaged through Twilight's confiscated saddlebags for a quill and ink.

"Got it, Twilight. What should I write?" Spike's question only half-registered; at that moment Twilight saw the toad-thing reach out a hand in front of the rainbow blur circling it. Twilight could swear she heard the wet slapping sound from across the cavern.

"You're a smart dragon, figure it out. Sparkler, throw whatever you can at that thing. Aim for it's eyes."

A few sharp rocks bounced harmlessly off the monster's face. It didn't seem to notice. It's attention was entirely on the pegasus in it's globby claw. After a moment of contemplation, it started pulling Rainbow Dash toward its mouth.

Oh Celestia, that thing lives on live pony sacrifices. It's going to eat her! In that moment, Twilight knew that the potential of burning out her magic was an acceptable risk. Better a life without magic than a life without Rainbow Dash. She let loose a beam of pure energy at the ceiling. It wouldn't do to give the thing any heat, so concussive force would have to do.

She let loose a swirl of violet magic to pull and fuse the falling rock into a triangle. The toad-thing was opening its mouth to consume Dash as the stone wedge connected with it's skull, splitting it down to the thing's eye level. A blue shape fell from it's grasp, falling toward the water.

Twilight screamed, but before Dash hit the water, a grey blur swooped down and caught her. It only took another moment for Dash to get flying on her own again. The split between the monster's eyes was sealing up, though. Before Twilight could yell a warning, she saw Derpy and Dash both dart up to the clouds swirling around the ceiling of the cavern. There was a downpour, soaking everything. The mist from the rain hitting the pool splashed up and soaked Twilight's mane. And just as quickly as it had started, it stopped.

Dash and Derpy dove down again and began to circle faster and faster as the mist cleared. Twilight's forehead was burning, sparks flying everywhere; it felt like her brain was going to catch fire. She pushed through the pain. No time for this right now..

"This is our chance! Get out of here Sparkler. Spike, go with her, I'll get the others." Twilight galloped back to the ramp and began to run up it until she skidded into a crouching, surprisingly stealthy pink pony.

"Shhh. Keep quiet, Twilight. The girls and I decided it was time to escape. My tail is a-twitchin' something awful. We'd better get out before the roof comes down. Besides, Lord Toadstag down there seems distracted for the moment."

"I was thinking the same thing Pinkie, keep moving." Twilight turned and followed them back down the ramp. Spike was astride Sparkler and the two of them were already halfway to the stream that marked the exit.

Twilight took up the rear as the group skirted the edge of the lake. Every few seconds she glanced over her shoulder to check the progress of the twirling pegasi. They kept their cycle up, and although the huge monster made a few more grabs at them, it was slower and slower each time. By the time Twilight had reached the mossy overhang where the underground stream flowed out into the swamp, the eyes of the monster had slid closed.

"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight screamed. The tornado began to slow as Dash appeared in front of her, hovering. "It's cold enough. Celestia is on her way. Let's get out of here."

Dash saluted and spun back into the tornado, catching up to Derpy and yelling something in her ear. Twilight waited by the door until Rainbow Dash blew through the mossy curtain. The cavern trembled from the shockwave of her passage, it really was unstable. Twilight trotted through the moss and out into the nighttime swamp.

#

Rainbow Dash fluttered to a halt in front of the group, panting. They all looked exhausted—all except the Cutie Mark Crusaders anyway—but the high of victory and escape buoyed them up.

"Hey, has anyone seen my Mom?" Dinky spoke up for the first time since she'd been captured.

"Oh Sweet Celestia, did we leave her behind?" Twilight's mane stood on end, even more than it already was. She turned as if to rush back into the cave.

"I think I know where she is," Dash said.

As she spoke the earth shook beneath them. Everypony turned to stare back at the cave they'd emerged from and an enormous grey mushroom of dust erupted from the top of the cliff above them, near where the cavern's ceiling must have been. A lighter grey speck flew out the top, and a few minutes later Derpy landed between Sparkler and Dinky. She pulled both her children in tight against her with her wings.

"What was that?" Pinkie asked.

"That thing tried to eat my little muffins. Twice." Derpy hugged Sparkler and Dinky even tighter. "And I wouldn't want it to try a third time." She didn't look inclined to take any more questions.

"I suppose Celestia and Luna won't mind that monster being a little weaker before they do whatever they're going to do with it. I just hope those old ponies survived."

"The cells looked pretty sturdy, and that green one was under smaller overhang. They should be fine," Sparkler looked over at her little sister, "Although I can't say I'm as concerned with their well-being as you, Ms. Sparkle."

"Is your horn going to be okay, Twi?" Dash wiped the victorious grin off her face and stepped closer to Twilight, ready to support her in any way she might need.

"I don't know. The burning sensation has gone down, and it isn't as bad as it was after those muggers. I gave it almost a full day of rest after all. I think I'll be fine." Dash wasn't sure if she was telling the truth or just putting a brave face on things, but she didn't seem that worried. I probably ought to check myself in to Ponyville General when we get back, just to be safe."

"I might have been able to escape on my own, you know. You didn't have to risk yourself trying to save me."

"I couldn't bear to lose you, Dash." Twilight smiled a big smile that Dash hadn't seen since that night they had read comics in the library, the smile that melted Dash's heart and felt like a sonic rainboom in her soul.

"I've come to a realization, Rainbow." Twilight hung back from the group, and put a hoof in front of Dash to hold her back as well. Pinkie cheerily lead the rest along the bottom of the cliff. The ground was sloping up just a bit, and the top of the cliff was curving down. It wouldn't be long before they could turn back toward Ponyville. Dash raised an eyebrow, and Twilight took a deep breath.

"What I said on the train. About not dating your friends? That's stupid. It's something I got from a little filly's magazine on the rules of dating." Twilight smiled sheepishly. "I've got a pretty good guess what you were going to ask me back on the train. And I don't know if it will work out, but that's no reason not to give it a chance. My potential happiness with you is much higher than without."

"What exactly are you saying, Twi?"

Twilight grinned. "What are you doing tomorrow night, Dash. Because I know a great Fillypeno place." Twilight's smile was so bright, Dash could swear it was attracting mosquitoes. She grabbed her best friend and pulled her in to a deep kiss. There was an explosion like fireworks going off. Dash thought it was just in her mind, but then confetti started raining down around them. Pinkie really did bring that party canon everywhere.

#

A few weeks later, back in the library, Twilight walked into the main room to find Spike and Pinkie glaring at each other across a mostly-scribbled-out piece of parchment.

"What are you two arguing about this time?" Twilight sighed.

"We really really really need to get the final issue of "Rainbow Flash and the Mysterious Mare Do Well" in today. Uncle Stan is getting impatient and it still takes at least a day to get drawn once we send it in. But we can't decide how to end it!"

"I think it's obvious that Tw—" Spike coughed, "that Mare Do Well was the hero of the story, so we should end with Rainbow Flash asking her out."

"You're so silly. Dashie was the hero. She defeated the bad guy and she had the most action. Twilight should ask her out. We already got them together in real life, now we have to think about," Pinkie reared up on her hind legs and waved her forehooves around faux-menacingly, "the readers."

"Does it really matter who asked who out?" Twilight asked. Dragon and earth pony glared at her.

"Of course it matters, silly!"

"We have to think about where you fit in traditional gender roles in the story. Gender politics is important!"

"Dash and I are both girls.

"Yeah, and the hero always gets the girl in the end."

Rainbow Dash wandered in from the kitchen, grinning playfully. "Well we're obviously both the hero then." She lunged forward and Twilight fell over backwards. Dash's hooves were already there to catch her and pull her in for a passionate kiss. The made out until Spike's gagging noises began to sound real.

Twilight gulped in a deep breath of air. "Well, good luck figuring that out you two. My marefriend and I are going to have to take our gender politics debate upstairs." A rainbow streaked blur sped up the stairs, and Twilight galloped up after it.

Spike rolled his eyes, "Gross."

Author's Note:

This story was written for the TwiDash Group's first story contest.

Special thanks to:
CinnamonSwirlTheBreaded for prereading and being an amazing sounding board,

and to Lapis-Lazuli for frantic editing above and beyond the call of duty. Also, you can blame him for a stray Back to the Future reference.

Comments ( 24 )

Now that was a real quality read. Classic adventure mixed with romance, with the comics spicing things up even further. 9/10.

… "Fillypeno"?

Are you telling me Lazuli ALSO edits other stories?


Great fic. The final chapter felt a bit disjointed from the rest, but the action was great; I really love when Twilight and Rainbow fight with their brains.

I would have liked to see more costume crime fighting but this was still good.


Thank you for writing it!

2577064

Lapis must be insane right? I don't think he edits much though, he and I were already talking about this well before he offered.

Yeah, I should smooth up that last chapter I guess. I can do that!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment!:pinkiehappy:

2577141>>2575876>>2575551

Thank you guys so much for taking the time to make a comment!

Yeah, I was thinking I could perhaps do more with the comic/superhero stuff but every time I started to add additional comic elements it felt like it was delaying the resolution of the main story in a boring way. The thought definitely crossed my mind though.

I tried to take as much comic/pulp inspiration as I could though!

I really appreciate your comments.

Strange, but awesome.

Loved it, truly. But why doesn't this story have three times this amount of likes? It was glorious. :rainbowhuh:

Wow, this story did not at all go where I thought it was going. It was good, great even, actually it was fantastic. I just didn't expect lord Toad-stag of all things

Sweet and cute, with an actual plot?
I like it very much.
It seems an odd thing to single out but I liked that they were both in to mares already and seem to be fine with it, this fandom has enough gay angst already. Also smart business mare Twi rocks (and the fact that that Twi has girly chat sessions with Derpy is adorable).

Good to see Stan got his cameo in as ever.
Ponyville must have the best stocked graphic novel section outside of canterlot. If you do a sequel can you have Fluttershy check out Maus without knowing what it's about?

I really like the skeleton of this story; a mystery, a romance, some adventure, a big fight against some ancient evil at the end. Unfortunately, it did feel like it could really use some fleshing out, to me. You describe this god as being as powerful as Discord...and all he does is grab RD and try to eat her. Doesn't use magic, doesn't speak, nothing. We get very, very little explanation as to the history of this cult and this god. What does he do when he doesn't get fed? Presumably these old mares don't feed him because they enjoy his company. The resolution to the shipping was also extremely fast. They apparently just...recognize that they like each other, and decide to make out. It, too, felt a bit anti-climatic to me. However, Twilight using her nerdiness to find a way to escape was impressive, if, again, too fast, too easy. I liked that part.
Anyway, hope that this has been helpful. Maybe I'll see you on the IRC chat later.

Some damn good Twidash. It was a nice twist with a plot I haven't seen in a shipfic yet, so nice job!

This was a great ride!:pinkiehappy: I love :heart: the comic book angle. Can't wait for the next story:yay:

Great story, faved and thumbed up, obviously.
:twilightsmile::rainbowkiss:

Great read, spotted a few small errors:

missing quotation mark before 'and' as well as a double space before 'and'

Twilight interrupted. And unless you had a lot of help with the writing,

I believe it should be 'knew no fear'

For how scared she could be sometimes, that pony knew know fear when the bits were down.

I believe it should be 'cold'

When it gets gold, amphibians hibernate!

Oh, and also you've earned yourself a follow.

gold should be cold.....still this was nice good job

2577568>>2579582>>2582680>>2592951>>2597740>>2598461

Thank you guys so much for taking the time to comment :pinkiehappy:

I'm glad you liked it. My main goal was to write some silly happy TwiDash that had an external, adventure-y conflict rather than just the "I like her but I'm too nervous" conflict. Granted there are some other things like that, but many of them seem to be more serious or just long. Or perhaps just things I haven't read yet, of course. I aim to be a bit unusual.

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You can never have too many pony name-puns! I made a big list of them and just tried to pick a few that I thought worked, and that seemed like Twi could get into. Sadly, I couldn't think up anything for Jack Kirby, who I'd really wanted to throw in here.

You can't deny Stan Lee his cameo of course. I really don't have any thoughts for an actual sequel to this, but I wouldn't mind revisiting the world of Equestrian comic books. Poor Fluttershy would just be horrified by something like Maus. :fluttercry:

And yeah, it's not that homophobia isn't worth addressing (and there are some great stories on that front) but I don't think it really has any place in Equestria. Not on the level that it should have to crop up in stories not about it anyway.

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Thanks for catching these errors. Fixed.

Really appreciate the comments and the error-checking!

Wow. I am thoroughly impressed. There were I few errors I noticed, but nothing that really detracted from the reading experience. This was fun, light, and had a decent sense of mystery to it. Good show.

Yea! 70+ favorites for me :facehoof:

...epic Derpy Hooves moment... :pinkiegasp::rainbowhuh::twilightoops: :derpytongue2:

:pinkiesmile:Whee! That was fun.

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