Messy Mane

by Alicorn

Messy Beauty

"That's right little ducks... just follow my nose and we'll get to the pond..." Fluttershy spoke sweetly, smiling at the ducks. Her back was turned, her eyes focused only on the ducks. She walked backwards, hoping not to run into anything. The ducks quacked in response, watching the yellow mares nose.

"Just a few more minutes and you can begin nesting." She said, leading them into town. She wanted to keep them focused on her and her only. She couldn't let her ducks be fighented by somepony. That could make a mess of things. The ponies stepped out of her way, allowing her to pass through town easily. Thankfully, the ducks remained calm.

Fluttershy lead them downtown, passing the ponies walking along Mane Street. In a few minutes time, the pegasus and the ducks arrived at the pond. She turned around, looking at the pond. A few ponies were there, but the ducks didn't seem to mind.

"Alright little duckies, go on into the pond." Fluttershy said, pointing at the pond. The ducks didn't move. They stared at Fluttershy's nose.

"Oh," Fluttershy said, blushing of embarrassment. "You can stop looking at my nose... if that's okay." She said quickly. The ducks quacked, walking toward the pond.

"That's it. Go look at your new home." Fluttershy said, walking next to them. The ducks looked at the pond, quacking to each other. As soon as the ducks were going to step into the pond, a rainbow trail flew by.

"HEY FLUTTERSHY, CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW. GOTTA RACE TO GET TO. BYE!" Rainbow Dash yelled, flying back into the sky. The ducks quacked in fright, flying around in panic. Fluttershy looked at them worriedly.

"Oh no little ducks! P-please stop!" Fluttershy said, unfolding her wings and taking to the air. The ducks flew around her. The other ponies at the pond ran around, panicking too. Fluttershy flew after them.

"Calm down! Rainbow wouldn't hurt you... if that's what you're thinking!" Fluttershy said, trying to calm the ducks down. They wouldn't listen. They flew around quacking and causing a racket.

"S-stop please! Calm d-down!" the yellow pegasus stuttered nervously.

"QUACK!" a duck screamed behind her. Fluttershy whirled around to see a duck flying straight toward her.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Fluttershy screamed as her face and the duck came in contact. Her wings lost their balance and she fell toward the ground. She had excepted to hit the ground with a thud. Instead, she landed into the pond. The ducks quacked and flew away. Fluttershy popped out of the water, watching the ducks fly away.

"No! Come back!" She said, extending her hoof. The ducks kept flying, not bothering to listen. Fluttershy sighed, looking at her messy body. I need to get cleaned up... right after I get the ducks back. she thought, unfolding her wings and flying after them.

~*~

"Okay! I have blue thread, purple thread, and green thread. Now I just need yellow thread..." Rarity mumbled to herself, levitating a list of thread to buy in front of her. Some colored thread poked through her saddle bag. She put the list into her saddle bag, thinking.

"Now, which store had the brightest yellow thread?" the unicorn asked herself, looking at the store signs. Just then, something bright and yellow caught her eye.

And it wasn't thread.

"Oh my stars! Darling! What in Equestria happened to your mane?!" Rarity yelped, running toward Fluttershy. The yellow mare looked at her friend in shock. Her mane was wet and dripping with mud and pond leaves. Her wings had some duck feathers and mud all over them. Her entire body was shaking because of the cold pond water.

"Oh... uh... I um...." Fluttershy stuttered as Rarity stepped in front of her. The pegasus didn't want to tattle on Rainbow Dash. It seemed wrong to her. Rarity stared at her friend, looking a little confused.

"What happened? Did somepony do this to you?! When I get my hooves on them..." Rarity growled. Fluttershy gasped. Rarity can't hurt Rainbow Dash! What if Rainbow hates me.... forever?" she thought, her eyes widening.

"Fluttershy?"

Quickly snapping out her thoughts, Fluttershy looked at the puzzled white unicorn.

"What happened?" Rarity repeated, looking impatient. Fluttershy's ears flattened against her head. She stared at her hooves, shaking.

"Well... a pony zoomed by me when I was... leading ducks to the pond..." Fluttershy began, unsure of what to say. Rarity blinked.

"And?" She asked, leaning closer. Fluttershy rubbed her other leg with her hoof. She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to get Rainbow Dash in trouble, but she also didn't want to lie to Rarity.

"Um... the pony scared the ducks so they ...panicked and... I fell in the pond," She said quickly. Rarity gasped. "Don't worry, I saved the ducks!" Fluttershy quickly added. Rarity sighed.

"Who did it?" She asked. Fluttershy did her little scream. Rarity stepped back, a bit shocked at the Fluttershy's reaction.

"I can't tell you!" Fluttershy said, dropping to the ground. She hid her face with her hooves. What do I say?! she thought, scared.

"Of course you can tell me, I'm your friend." Rarity said, gently patting Fluttershy's back. The yellow mare peaked out form her hooves.

"But... I don't want to tattle." She said quietly. Rarity smiled a bit.

"It's okay to tell your best pony friend who did it. It's better then not telling your friend at all, correct?" Rarity asked. Fluttershy thought for a moment. I guess she's right. she thought. Fluttershy stood up and gathered all her confidence.

"Rainbow Dash did it." She said. Rarity shook her head, frowning.

"That Rainbow Dash, always just flying around and causing a mess." the unicorn mumbled. Fluttershy gasped.

"Please don't tell Rainbow I told you she made me fall in the pond!" She said, begging. Rarity looked at her.

"Don't worry darling, I wouldn't want to trouble you." Rarity said, smiling. Fluttershy smiled back. She stood up and walked around Rarity. Rarity watched her, confused.

"Where are you going?" She called. Fluttershy looked back.

"I'm going home. I have to clean up." She said. Rarity quickly caught up with her.

"But Fluttershy, your mane will be extremely hard to fix. Why don't we go to my place and I can fix it for you." Rarity suggested. The pegasus looked at the unicorn, frowning a little.

"I thought you said you had to shop for some threads. Didn't you say that this morning?" She asked. That's when Rarity remembered her shopping day. She pushed the thought aside, it didn't matter to her at the moment. She has to fix her friends mane!

"That can wait until tomorrow. Besides, fixing your mane would be the generous thing to do." The white mare said, winking. Fluttershy giggled.

"That's because your element is generosity!" the pegasus said, giggling some more. Rarity nodded, giggling to.

"Now come on, I shall fix your mane!" Rarity said, heading toward Carousel Boutique. Fluttershy quickly headed after her, not knowing what was going to happen that night.

~*~

The two arrived at Carousel Boutique, well Rarity at least. Rarity had made Fluttershy stand outside until she brought the pegasus a towel.

"I don't want gunk all over my lovely floors." Rarity had said. Fluttershy stood outside, shaking. Rarity walked into her bathroom, turning on the bathtub. She turned up the heated water. Walking toward the bathroom closet, she opened the doors and took out a white towel with a fancy R on it. Walking out of the bathroom while levitating the towel with her magic, Rarity opened her door to see a freezing Fluttershy.

"Here's your towel, darling." Rarity said, handing the towel to the cold yellow mare.

"T-thanks." Fluttershy shook, taking the towel and wrapping it around her body. She felt her body warm up quickly and smiled. Rarity nodded, opening the door wider.

"Come in," Rarity said, walking toward the bathroom. Fluttershy quickly followed, looking at the designs Rarity made. She saw a pretty green dress with a flower on the shoulder. She wanted to try it on, it was so pretty. "Please don't touch anything." Fluttershy pulled her hoof away, pouting. Fluttershy followed Rarity into the bathroom, feeling the hot air surrounded her.

"Why is it so hot in here?" Fluttershy asked.

"I started your bath before I got your towel." Rarity answered, feeling the bath water with her hoof.

"Oh... thank you Rarity." Fluttershy said, smiling.

Rarity nodded and said, "Your bath is ready." The yellow pegasus nodded and walked up in front of the bathtub. Fluttershy took off her towel, letting it drop to the floor. Rarity felt her face warm up but she quickly turned around. Fluttershy stepped into the bath slowly, trying to quickly warm up to the hot water. After a few minutes, Fluttershy sat in the water. Rarity turned around seeing the yellow mare enjoying her bath.

"Let me get you shampoo." Rarity said, walking toward the bathroom closet. Fluttershy nodded, going underwater to clean her muddy face. Rarity pulled a blue bottle out of the closet. She closed it shut and walked over to the bathtub. Fluttershy popped out from the water, gasping for breath.

"Are you okay?!" Rarity asked worriedly. Fluttershy panted, nodding.

"I think I just spent a long time under there, that's all." Fluttershy said between pants. Rarity nodded, but she could still feel her heart beating quickly from being frightened. The white unicorn set the bottle down on the side of the tub.

"There you go, now you may wash your mane." Rarity said, turning to leave. Fluttershy looked at the bottle nervously.

"Wait." She said quietly. Rarity stopped and looked over her shoulder.

"Did you say something darling?" She asked. Fluttershy nodded, motioning Rarity to come to her. Rarity walked back over the bathtub, looking at Fluttershy.

"I... uh..." the pegasus said nervously, looking at the now-dirty water. Rarity tilted her head to the side.

"You what?"

"I... can't wash my mane... on my own..." Fluttershy admitted sheepishly. Rarity became puzzled. How can she not wash her mane on her own? the unicorn thought.

"Why not?" Rarity asked, blinking.

"Well, it's kinda hard for me to clean all of it with my hooves and I usually get Angel Bunny to do it." Fluttershy mumbled, embarrassed. Rarity gave her a small smile.

"It's okay, darling. I don't blame you. Many ponies have problems... washing themselves on there own." Rarity said, her face getting red. Fluttershy quickly smiled.

"So... you don't think I'm weird?" She asked hopefully.

Rarity nodded and said, "No Fluttershy, I don't think you're weird." Fluttershy smiled widely at the unicorn. Rarity returned the smile.

"Now, shall I go get Angel Bunny?" Rarity asked, walking toward the door. Fluttershy's ears flattened against her head.

"I thought... you would do it." She said, blushing. Rarity stopped in her tracks. Her face looked like a tomato.

"I mean, if you want to!" Fluttershy quickly added, not wanting to make things awkward. Rarity thought for a moment. Wash Fluttershy's mane? I washed Sweetie Belle's... but she's my sister. But if I don't wash it and get Angel Bunny, it would waste the whole night and I won't be able to fix her mane. I guess I should just wash it... the unicorn thought. She turned around and walked back to the bathtub.

"I guess I can wash it." She said. Fluttershy smiled, turning around for her mane to be in front of Rarity. The unicorn levitated the shampoo bottle, opening it and squeezing the shampoo out and onto her hoof. She set the bottle aside and rubbed the shampoo together between her hooves. She touched Fluttershy's mane, feeling the mud and leaves. She wanted to pull away and scream at the mess, but she knew she had agreed to wash it. She began to rub the shampoo all over Fluttershy's mane with a disgusted look on her face.

The unicorn pulled out a few leaves, levitating them straight to the trash can next to the sink. Rarity smeared the shampoo all over Fluttershy's mane until there wasn't a leaf anywhere on it.

"Thank you, Rarity." Fluttershy said, dipping her mane into the water. Rarity picked up the shampoo bottle with her magic and walked over to the closet, pulling out some conditioner. She put the shampoo bottle on the shelf.

She was about to close the closet door but Futtershy said, "Excuse me, Rarity, but you need to shampoo my tail too." Rarity felt a blush creep on her face. Her tail? Where her... flank is? Rarity felt some sweat bead on her forehead. Things felt pretty awkward.

"Rarity, are you okay? You look... sick." Fluttershy said nervously, worried for her friend. Rarity shook away the feeling quickly.

"Oh, I'm okay. So... I have to wash your... tail?" She said, her stomach felt like lava was sitting in there. Fluttershy nodded slowly, eyeing the unicorn.

"Y-yes..." She said. Rarity's ears flattened against her head.

"Um... okay..." Rarity said, taking the shampoo bottle back out of the closet. She walked over to Fluttershy. She levitated the shampoo and squirted it on her hooves. Rubbing them together, she raised Fluttershy's tail out the water. It dripped with water, mud, and leaves. Rarity felt like she was going to get sick. This can't be that bad. I mean, Applejack grabs Rainbow Dash's tail all the time. Rarity thought. With her teeth, not her hooves. a voice said in Rarity's mind. Rarity frowned, deciding to only focus on washing Fluttershy's tail.

She began to wash Fluttershy's tail, feeling... strange. She rubbed her hooves across her tail, trying not to stare at Fluttershy's flank. Hmm... her flank has gotten bigger. Wait, WHAT AM I THINKING?! Rarity's eyes darted around the room. She had think of something besides Fluttershy's flank.

Why don't I think of my toilet? Such a pretty white... thing. Okay, never mind. the unicorn thought, panting. Was her sick feeling now turning into an enjoyable feeling? Oh... please no...

"Rarity?"

The unicorn quickly snapped out of her thoughts. She looked back at Fluttershy who seemed confused.

"Yes?" Rarity asked.

"You stopped cleaning my tail." Fluttershy said, blushing. Rarity smiled sheepishly.

"Oops..."

~*~

After applying conditioner to Fluttershy's mane and... tail, Rarity's thoughts focused on Fluttershy. I need to stop thinking about her! Why am I thinking about her? I shouldn't be... right? Rarity felt so confused that she could scream.

"Rarity?" Fluttershy said. Rarity shook he head. She had to stop thinking about the pegasus.

"Yes Fluttershy?"

"Are you okay? You seem... off." Futtershy said, staring at the white mare.

"Oh, I'm just thinking about a... uh," Rarity stuttered. She felt trapped. Think! Think! her mind yelled. "A new dress design!" Rarity said, almost yelling. Fluttershy yelped, frightened. Has Rarity gone insane or something? Fluttershy blinked, staring at the unicorn.

"If... if you say so." The pegasus said, unsure.

"I'm fine, really." Rarity said, hoping Fluttershy didn't have suspicions on her new behavior.

"Okay, I believe you," Fluttershy said. Rarity sighed with relief. "Now, we have to wash my body." Rarity's pupils shrank when she heard that.

"W-what?" She asked, hoping she really didn't hear that.

"You have to wash my body." Rarity nearly fainted. Pull yourself together! Rarity took a deep breath and walked to her bathroom closet. She took out some body wash and a sponge. At least the sponge can touch her body. the white unicorn thought, walking back over the Fluttershy.

"Why do you have a sponge?" Futtershy asked, tilting her head to the side a little. Rarity blinked.

"To wash your body of course." Rarity answered, squirting some body wash on the sponge.

"Oh... but um... I don't like it when... um... I'm washed with sponges." Fluttershy said, staring at the water. Rarity stared at her. It seemed like Fluttershy had just made that up. Was Fluttershy... lying?

"But sponges don't hurt." Rarity said teasingly. Fluttershy thought for another excuse.

"They hurt my... uh... wings." Fluttershy lied. Rarity gave her On really? look.

"Pardon me Fluttershy, but it seems like you're lying." Rarity said, smirking. Fluttershy blushed.

"N-no I'm not." She said, refusing to make eye contact with Rarity. The unicorn nodded, chuckling.

"So you're being honest?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Applejack honest?"

That's when Fluttershy knew she was busted.

"Okay, I lied." She admitted. Rarity sighed.

"Why did you lie about that? Did you even lie when you said you couldn't wash your mane on your own?"

Fluttershy nodded, sinking herself into the water slowly.

"Why?" Rarity said. To be honest, Rarity didn't mind. She secretly would love it of she washed Fluttershy's body with her own two hooves. It didn't seem weird to her anymore.

"Because... Ihaveacrushonyou." Fluttershy said quietly and quickly. Rarity leaned closer.

"What?"

"Ihaveacrushonyou."

"Can you repeat that please?"

"I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU!" Fluttershy screamed. And with that, she dove into the water. Rarity blinked, taking the news in. Rarity blushed when she thought of how shy Fluttershy was. It was... cute. Do I love Fluttershy too? Rarity thought for a moment, picturing her and Fluttershy together. They seemed happy in the picture Rarity drew in her head. The unicorn smiled, knowing the answer. Fluttershy popped out from the water but she was getting ready to go back under. Rarity quickly stopped her.

"I have a crush on you too, Fluttershy." Rarity said before the pegasus could sink back into the bathtub water. Fluttershy looked at her, shocked.

"Y-you do?" She asked. Rarity nodded.

"Actually, I think it isn't a crush. I think it's... love." Rarity said, smiling. Fluttershy's mouth opened widely.

"R-really?!"

Rarity smiled in response. Fluttershy giggled excitedly.

"That's just so amazing I can-" Fluttershy said, but she cut herself off by kissing Rarity right on the lips. Rarity was taken aback. She had expected Fluttershy to to be excited... but not this excited! However, she wasn't going to complain. She was enjoying the kiss. Rarity slowly wrapped her hooves around Fluttershy, kissing back. The kiss felt warm and peaceful. Fluttershy pulled Rarity into the bathtub, feeling like the happiest mare in the world.

Rarity didn't even care that she was sitting in Fluttershy's filth, all that mattered right now was Fluttershy. The two separated for air after a few minutes, blushing.

"So... are we marefriends now?" Fluttershy asked. Rarity pretended to think.

"Yes, yes we are." Rarity said, kissing Fluttershy again.

And to think we got together because of some ducks! Fluttershy thought, kissing back,

~Fin~

Comments

[The Princess Rarity]

This was adorable. Yay for Flarity.

[R4inb0w-D4sh]

Awesome!

[Darkskarr X]

All the yays for this story ! Good job!

[MrAlbum321]

This was... decent. It has some good bits, like with the setup of the situation and the in-character moments.

Then again, the end feels somewhat contrived in my humble opinion. Rarity outright saying "It's not a crush, it's love" came a little sudden and deflated what could have been a solid ending. Sure, Rarity would never ignore a friend's crush on her and would indulge her friend's desires due to her generous nature, but the leap from an act of generosity to "I love you too" is a pretty big leap, and it happens within the span of a second in this story.

Also, I wonder how the story would have played out if the perspective had stayed in Fluttershy's mind instead of Rarity's. You should be careful with shifting perspectives in any kind of a story, because it has the potential to confuse the readers. After all, we started the story in Fluttershy's mind. The reader expects to stay in Fluttershy's mind unless the story gives a really good reason to accept the change in perspective to Rarity.

Sure, these are nitpicks, and I am not saying to change the entire story based on what I noticed here. This comment is purely for your information, and simply outlines my response to this story.

I do like it enough to like and favorite it, too, which I will do after posting If I had to give the story a rating, it would be a strong three out of five Flutters:

Good effort. Keep going with your writing, you've got potential.

P.S. Fluttershy would totally try to manipulate Rarity like she did in this story. Remember back in Season 1 when she cleaned the library to try and convince Twilight to give her the ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala? I like that you brought out that side of her, it's a side most authors don't touch that often.

[Delicious]

I almost got a date over some ducks, but as it turns out she was a vegetarian!

Horrible pun aside, I have to agree with the guy above me (except for on the subject of PoV change, I had no problem with that.) The only problems I can think of are the ones he pointed out.

[Zeyon The Green]

All I can think after reading this is that Rarity likes big flanks. Heh... just one sentence in the story and it is what sticks out in my mind.

[Nightsflash]

beside the things MrAlbum321 has already pointed out, there were some minor mistakes (and my pet peeve "there" instead of "their" [...washing themselves on there own], it's like "your" and "you're", sounds the same but doesn't mean the same, could be whichever program you used to write this changed it on it's own) and the sentence "Has Rarity gone insane or something?" would be better without "or something" considering we are in Fluttershys mind again..

other than that a nice story, even if the ending is a bit rushed

[Rapidpaw]

that was heart warming i feel all fuzzy inside