• Published 24th Feb 2013
  • 6,989 Views, 95 Comments

The Conversion Bureau: Helping Hands - CV12Hornet



A different Conversion Bureau, where after the Conversion goes horribly wrong, the ponies of Equestria find that humans are'nt so bad after all.

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New Divide

December 21 1004 A.N.M./2012 C.E.

Ponyville

Under any other circumstances, Applejack would have been running as fast as her legs could take her (which, as Rainbow Dash could attest, was pretty darn fast). With the amount of debris on the path and the sheer exhaustion the farmpony was laboring under, this was not “most circumstances”. She had been up since midnight, helping Big Mac and Applebloom salvage what they could from the wreckage of Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack’s slow, steady gait faltered as she remembered the damage; the wrecked farmhouse and barn, half the trees blown over, the other half missing all their leaves...

Granny Smith...

Applejack choked briefly, as her simmering anger threatened to rise up. She pushed it down. There would be a time for it later, when she found who was responsible for this catastrophe so she could introduce them to her two hind legs. And if her suspicions from yesterday were correct?

Applejack was glad to call Twilight a friend, but there were some lines you just didn’t cross.

A crunch of glass snapped Applejack out of her thoughts, and as she looked around her she could see Ponyville had suffered just as badly as Sweet Apple Acres. What few buildings were still standing were missing some important bits, like a roof, or a wall. Applejack briefly noted that the Golden Oaks library was lying uprooted on its side.

Stepping gingerly around shards of glass, Applejack wondered where everypony was. Her arrival at the town square answered that question. It seemed like everypony in town was there, all of them sporting injuries of some sort. Dr. Stable and Nurse Redheart were treating the last of them. Applejack’s heart leapt into her throat as her eyes fell on several white blankets, covering pony-shaped lumps. Several earth ponies were bringing in another body, and with a jolt realised it was Ms. Cake. She turned away, scanning the crowd for her friends.

Applejack was just wondering how to find her friends when she spotted a sky-blue blob hanging above the crowd. Well, that was easy. After a few minutes and hasty apologies to a couple she had barely seen until she had almost run into them, Applejack reached her friends. And promptly winced. Rainbow Dash, Spike, and Rarity seemed fine - Rarity’s whining about the scratches and dirt on her coat notwithstanding - but poor Fluttershy’s wings were bandaged to her back, Pinkie was just sitting there, her curly mane straight, a look of utter despondency on her face, and Twilight-

Well, Twilight’s disheveled mane and low mutterings were bringing back unpleasant memories of what had been dubbed the “Smarty Pants Incident”. The set of saddlebags was new, though. Turning to Spike, she whispered “How long’s she been like this?”

“Since the shockwave hit,” Spike replied. “I’m kinda worried.”

“Considerin’ tha last time she was like this she enchanted tha whole town, Ah’m kinda worried mahself.” Glancing at her other friends, she asked “So, what’s tha deal with Pinkie an’ Fluttershy?”

Spike sighed. “Remember that bear Fluttershy keeps?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, when that shockwave hit, it kind of, um, fell on her. Her wings are broken.”

Applejack winced. She remembered how antsy Rainbow Dash had gotten when her wing had been broken. “So, does anypony know where that shockwave came from?”

“Canterlot,” came the immediate reply. A little too immediate.

“Uh-huh. This have anythin’ to do with tha fancy magical mumbo-jumbo Celestia was plannin’ ta do, oh, last night?”

“If I say yes will you leave me alone?” Spike was sweating now, which is weird, because reptiles can’t sweat.

“Does it have anythin’ ta do with that Conversion thing Twilight was rantin’ about yesterday?” Behind her, Rarity’s whining had stopped. Applejack had the distinct impression that her friends were listening intently. Except Twilight. Applejack could still hear her muttering quietly to herself.



If Spike was sweating before, now he was gushing. And hyperventilating. Can’t forget that. “Alright, fine, I’ll tell you!” he finally shouted. “Remember those humans, the ones we were going to bring harmony to?” Nods all around. “Okay, first, how did you think Celestia was planning to do that?”

Applejack hadn’t thought of that. How would they demonstrate the magic of friendship to an entire species. Luckily, her friends provided answers.

“A party!”

“Some sort of traveling show, like the Wonderbolts.”

“Oh, good idea, Rainbow Dash. That sounds like it would work marvelously.”

Fluttershy opened her mouth to reply-

“Actually, the princess was just planning to douse all the humans with a permanent transformation potion. Said that “human nature” made them too resistant to anything else.” The air quotes told all five ponies exactly what Spike thought of that idea.

“But, wait, you can’t do that!” exclaimed Rarity. “Not without destroying their... personality.” She fell on her haunches, stunned.

“Huh. Didn’t know that. Explains a lot.”

“D-destroys their personality?!” Rainbow Dash and Applejack exclaimed simultaneously.

“Of course.” said Pinkie Pie, despondently. It was the first time she had spoken all day. “Celestia doesn’t care, as long as she spreads her “harmony”.” Pinkie turned to Spike, who flinched at the look in her eyes. “Tell them. Tell them about the barrier.”

“Um, alright. I don’t know all the details - heck, I barely understood half the words Twilight was throwing around - but they said it was to protect Equestria in case of misunderstandings. It’s a barrier. Really strong one, I think Celestia based it off Shining Armor’s formula. Anyway, it’s not supposed to let anything made by humans into it. And... I think it’s supposed to get... bigger as time goes on?”

“Yup!” exclaimed Twilight, scaring the living daylights out of those present. “As the barrier expands, it’ll destroy aaaaall those pesky bits of technology, and force the humans to convert. Foolproof!” Twilight tapped a hoof to her chin. “Except they somehow managed to sabotage the barrier. That’s the only way it could have collapsed like that.”

“Wait,” said Rarity. “Collapsed?”

“Oh, yes, have you ever seen somepony miscast a barrier spell? Messy, very messy. Whole thing inverts. And all the energy has to go somewhere, so being near a collapsing barrier is an unpleasant proposition.”

“But how do ya figure these “humans” did it? They don’t even live on the same world!” wondered Applejack.

“BECAUSE PRINCESS CELESTIA WOULD NEVER HAVE SCREWED UP THAT SPELL!” screamed Twilight. “Ah, sorry girls, I’m under a liittle stress right now.”

Five ponies and one dragon stared at the purple unicorn in shock. “She’s not lyin’,” Applejack breathed. They had all known that Twilight idolized Princess Celestia - but not to this extent. It was insane.

“Now, girls, I know this is kind of a bad time, but I’m going to need your help to root out those filthy humans.” She turned toward the direction of the library. “I’ve got a stock of potion in my basement, hopefully it survived the-”

“No.”

Twilight whirled around. “What do you mean, no? You’re my friends right, aren’t you? SO HELP ME!”

“No.” replied Rainbow Dash. “We’re not going to help you hunt down these humans. We’re friends, and friends help each other. Even from themselves.”

Twilight stared in shock, then whirled to Rarity. She shook her head. “Honestly, darling, I think our higher priority should be to stay and help the town, not go gallivanting across the countryside to find saboteurs that may or may not exist.”

Twilight turned to the next pony. “Fluttershy.”

The timid pegasus shook her head, too. “I’m sorry, Twilight, but I kinda agree with Rarity. So many ponies are hurt and scared.”

“Pinkie Pie?”

Pinkie was briefly silent. “Maybe one day I’ll forgive you, Twilight. Today is not that day.”

“Rarity?” Twilight’s tone was pleading.

“Darling, I-I simply cannot endorse actions that strip any sentient being of their soul. I just can’t!”

“Applejack?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

“Do ya even have ta ask? This Conversion plan - look around you, Twilight! This is what your plan has brought! Granny Smith is dead!” The mares behind her gasped, but Applejack took no notice. “A part of Honesty is tellin’ tha hard truths, and the truth is you’re outta control, Twilight Sparkle. Ya need ta be stopped, not gallivantin’ over tha countryside! But Ah’m gonna let ya go, ‘cause I have bigger priorities.”

And with that, Applejack turned around and began to walk away. After a moment, the other four got up and began to walk away as well. Spike was about to follow, but Twilight’s voice stopped him.

“Where are you going, Spike?” Twilight’s voice was cold, dangerous. It was a voice Spike had never heard from the mare he considered a sister.

“I’m going with them. See what I can do to help.”

“You’re coming with me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes you are! You belong to me, Spike!”

“Oh really? Try and stop me.”

Twilight grinned. It was not a pleasant grin. It was the kind of grin seen on homicidal clowns. “So glad you said that.” Using her telekinesis, Twilight reached into her bag and hurled a small vial at Spike, simultaneously grabbing hold of his legs. Before the vial could hit the defenseless dragon, though, a yellow body moved between them, the potion splashing uselessly against Fluttershy’s flank. The other four mares were not far behind. And this time, Applejack could feel her rage boil over.

“So that’s how it is,” she growled, putting herself between Twilight and Fluttershy. “You’ll stoop ta even convertin’ your oldest friend.”

“You don’t know what it’s like,” Twilight snarled back. “Growing up with ponies whispering behind your back, being feared because of a little dragon.”

“You’re a loony” replied Applejack. “That’s all ah need ta know.” And with that, Applejack attacked.

Had Applejack been fully rested, the fight would have been winnable. Unfortunately, half-crazed or not, Twilight was the most powerful unicorn in Equestria, and Applejack was exhausted. All Twilight had to do was pick up Applejack and slam her against the ground.

“Ah, back in the dirt where you belong, little mud pony.”

“So now you’re a racist? Why am ah not surprised?”

Twilight chuckled. “Insult me all you want, I’m the one stand-”. And that was as far as she got when a blue blur slammed into her. Applejack chose this moment to pass out.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Applejack blearily opened her eyes to see a blue face and red eyes, framed by a rainbow mane, about two inches from her face. Lacking the strength to flail, Applejack settled for grumbling “Ya mind gettin’ outta mah face, Rainbow?”

Rainbow Dash leaned back, embarrassed. “Eh heh heh, sorry about that.”

Applejack looked around, noting that Rainbow was the only pony nearby, although groups of ponies continued to mill around hurt relatives. “Wha’ happened? Where’d everypony go?”

“Well, uh, ya kinda passed out. And the girls had other things to do. So, yeah, only pony available.”

“Okay.” For some reason, Applejack had the nagging feeling that she was forgetting something. “Oh! Wait, where’s Twilight?”

Rainbow Dash’s face scrunched up in a grimace. “Bolted into the Everfree. I’m going after her, and Pinkie and Spike insisted on coming with me.”

“Ah’m comin’ too,” Applejack said as she tried to haul herself out of bed. Any progress toward that goal was thwarted by a firm hoof on her shoulder.

“Whoa, none of that. You need to rest, and you have responsibilities. I don’t. Neither do Pinkie or Spike, which is the only reason I’m letting them come with me.”

Applejack felt sleep coming to claim her again, and barely registered Rainbow’s last words. “Well, they’re ready, so I’m just going to let you go back to sleep, m’kay?”

Applejack tried to protest that she wasn’t sleepy, but her blasted eyelids just wouldn’t cooperate. As the last dregs of wakefulness left her, Applejack wondered if Rainbow really could bring Twilight back.

Comments ( 57 )

filthy humans

“Ah, back in the dirt where you belong, little mud pony.”

Oh, fuck you.
This is just yet another one of those "conversions are bad and anyone who sides with Celestia are bad, mmmkay?" story.
Why am I not surprised? You anti-TCB folks seem to be only capable of writing stories like this.

2408591

Someone seems....mad.

And can you not see that Twilight Sparkle has been twisted by the Nightmare that has been feeding on Celestia?

Or is your righteous indignation stopping you from realizing something called plot?

So Celestia cast the spell on March 29th, but the effects from the shockwave only reach Ponyville, probably the closest town to Canterlot, by December 21st of that year? And this chapter is supposed to be the following day after Celestia forgot to carry the tens? Apparently that spell miscast did more then just destroy everything.

Also AFAIK, the conversion potion explicitly only works on Humans. At least in most TCB "Universe" fics, but its your story, so whatever.

holy crap i thought this was dead but im glad its not

2408690
No, that justifies jack shit.

There's no reason at all for Twilight to act like that. If its the usual Twilight, not this twisted version of her, she'll feel pity instead of calling the humans "filthy" like some caricature designed to make Celestia look bad.

And there's no way in hell she would call Applejack like that.

2409176

...........

If its the usual Twilight, not this twisted version of her, she'll feel pity instead of calling the humans "filthy" like some caricature designed to make Celestia look bad.

So do you know what the author is thinking, what the author is planning for this story?

No, you don't. And you don't know if it is the 'usual Twilight' from the show because ALERT: IT AIN'T THE SHOW.

You have no right to dictate to the author how a character should or should not behave.

Especially an author of FANFICTION, where the characters can be completely OOC because the author needs it like that for the story to work.

To top it all off, this is a TCB fic, where all the characters were OOC to begin with if you bothered to read the original fic. In the TCB gere, as well as its counterpart genre, such corruption of the attitudes of the ponies are accepted (though you will find stories where they are not).

So be the bigger man and actually wait for the story to progress and play out before making such childish condemnations.

2409239
Oh, sure, "wait for the story to progress and play out".

Sorry pal, but I got dozens of other pony fics that are already guaranteed to be good. Unlike this one.

Besides, it's not your job to tell me to "wait for the story to progress and play out". This is a critique to the author, so he should be the one to respond.

2409289

I'm sorry, since when has saying "Oh, fuck you." to the author considered a critique.

I think its quite clear you are not a fan of the TCB/Anti-TCB genre in general, otherwise you wouldn't get so upset when an author tarnishes the oh so perfect version of the ponies you so hold dear.

I don't understand why you had to personally insult the author over something like this.

Just go away and don't read Anti-TCB fics.
Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

2409316
That's because I had hopes for this story to represent the pro-conversion side and the anti-conversion side equally.

But then, this happened.

And man, you're such a whiteknight. The author should be one who's angry (I'm "attacking" his story after all) instead of you.

2409352

Again, I think its just too early to make that judgement.

And I'm not sure if you were trying to insult me by calling me a whiteknight.

Since when was trying to be a good guy a bad thing?

Oh wait, internet.
NEVERMIND.

2409371
Since when defending a story automatically makes you a "good guy"?

2409425

I don't know, you tell me.
You are the one who called me that, remember?

This argument is getting no where.
Agree to disagree, m'kay?

And this is my favorite part of any TCB story! Post something the slightest bit questionable and watch both sides tear each other apart.

If you don't like how the author chooses to write his story, write your own or GTFO.

Yes some anti CB fiction hooray! Sucks about twi though but you take the good with the bad.

Good to see an update. Let's hope another one comes soon.

so how are the ponys goan feel when nato and u.n. disaster relief forces come to the rescue? and the comments for this chapter i feel like i waltzd in to youtube.

2410573
You'll see... heh heh heh... you'll see. :pinkiecrazy:

Twilight going a bit nuts I can buy... But not this warped psychosis she's fallen into. It's not just OOC, it's OOCness Taken to Eleven and Beyond and there isn't really any obvious reason for it. It's like SURPRISE MADNESS OUTTA FUCKING NOWHERE BECAUSE I SAY SO!

Not cool, dude. I could've bought it if we had some hints as to why she would react like that. Flipping out is one thing (Twilight does do this more than once, after all), suddenly going bastard jerkass on her best friends and pseduo-little brother figure just because they don't want to cooperate with her is something else altogether.

Not sure if want. But I will admit that I liked your reasoning behind Celestia's corruption. That actually made sense and it's a long shot better than the usual unexplained Tyrant/Xenophobe Celestia I see in TCB fics.

I cant wait till the next update could you give us an idea when it will be posted.:scootangel:

I like the overall idea behind this story. It certainly sets up an interesting premise for conflict among the ponies and future interactions with humans once they do show up.
That said I feel this chapter moved way too fast. Major revelations of what the conversion process would do to humans and character developments are brought about in one quick swoop with barely any connection between them at times. Did Spike spread so mutch information before Applejack arrived?
Don't get me wrong, I don't disagree with any of the choices you made for the plot and characters, not even Twilight suddenly turning single-minded or hostile to her friends. It's the speed at which it all happens. Like the jump from "she trusts the princess to be able to cast any spell" to "she has a level of idolization for the princess that borders on mental illness" and "would betray her friends if they ever doubted the princess". It's not that this happens but that it does so in an instant. Twilight suddenly turning racist on the other hand comes out of freaking nowhere. Then there is the jump from "transformation potion that turns a human's body into into that of a pony" to "it will destroy their personality!" Again, nothing wrong with it on itself but there is no transition from one to the other. How did Rarity make this connection? By the looks of it she didn't. You just take things established in other TCB stories and put them in the ponies mouth. No explaination how they got there.

I agree with 2481025 on how this reflects on the characters actions. Other than that I gotta praise you on your idea on how we got from well-meaning Celestia to one that woud come up with a forceful conversion in the first place. She does seem kinda thick, though. If all humans did was fight battles and kill each other where did the armor, weapons and other equipments of the soldiers come from? There was a clear technological progress over the ages, too. Did Celestia even recognize it outside of deadlier weapons?

Did I accidentally kill this story?

Listen. I love the idea. But you need to work on Twilight and the line of reasoning. If you want, I can take a stab at the line of reasoning and work it out for you. Its good and solid for the most part, but it needs more details.

Trust me, details are important, especially if you want to pull this off correctly.

My general reaction to Twilight going nuts is that it's fully possible that whatever's messing with Celestia has friends or is also somehow working over Twilight. Either way, so far, I like.

Annnndddd...you let it die again. Look, I would fave this if I thought there was a chance it would get updated sometime in the next year, but disappearing for 8 months? No.

Ugh, sorry if I sound pissy. It's just that its 2 AM and you let this thing die RIGHT when it looked like it was getting interesting.

In a weird sense, this story sort of reminds me of a manga (Japanese comic) that I'm the process of reading, where an imperialistic nation from another world who's stuck in the medieval era and believes its all powerful ends up creating a gate between their world and ours and invades Japan, only to get their armies ultimately destroyed by Japan's modern Self Defense Force (who's weapons are mostly made up of American arms), but instead of being absolutely destroyed by Japan, Japan instead only guards the gate and tries to reason with the country in question.

Why do I bring this up? Meh, just thought I'd share, not to mention I have the right to comment if I want to. :derpytongue2:

3720238 Whats the manga called? It sounds interesting.

3720376

Gate - Jietai Kare no Chi nite, Kaku Tatakeri

or as its known in English-

Gate - Thus the JSDF Fought There

3720826
Huh? It's not like she just wants to see wars.

Also

She tried to tell herself that this was just one example, that not all humanity was like this, that generalizing from one data point was lousy statistical analysis.

I'd say she's pretty sympathetic here.

3720875
Doesn't matter if she didn't want to see wars or not, it's ALL she, apparently, looked at.

3721144
And yes, I get that the Nightmare piece may have been subconsciously guiding her views, it still just seems like all she took the time to see were people shooting at each other.

Humans show up, Nuke the place, laugh maniacally, leave.

3720541 Thank you

3721231

Doesn't matter if she didn't want to see wars or not, it's ALL she, apparently, looked at.

So, you agree it's not her fault then.

3722428
Why, thank you.

2408773
Actually...the potion is only seen used on humans in most fics. There's never been anything in most stories to say it can't be used on other species. The only thing it wouldn't logically affect are ponies.

3718631
Actually, I think Twilight's so OOC, is because she's totally cracked from being unable to accept that Celestia has made one royal screw up, and is trying to place the blame on anything/one besides the Princess herself.

3726060
I'm kinda just gettin into this argument but if a problem I thought was that she saw one thing that happened and thought everyone was doing, I wouldn't doubt that when she saw the the camps in hitler germany, she thought it was happening all over our world, so it is her fault in this because all she did was see bad things and said that we all do that, she didn't even check besides the wars we've had

3889900

one thing that happened

Pretty sure it wasn't only "one thing", mate.

it is her fault in this because all she did was see bad things

How is this her fault again?

Are you implying she's secretly cherrypicking the things she want to watch?

Oh well, we all should stop caring anyways since this story's deader than dead.

3890335

That remains to be seen. However she ends up seeing battles and nothing else, and extrapolates the worst case scenario from that, so yes, this is at least partially her own fault.

3720541 I love gate for some reason to me it is one of my favorites.

Cancelled?! FAAACK!

Hey Hornet! I don't suppose anyone's adopting this from ya? I think I speak for many people when I say, we want this continued. This is seriously a great concept.

Damn this is one good Story plot, why doesen't someone continue it?:raritycry:

It's a shame this fic is cancelled. I thought it was pretty good.

4767455 The story itself, and the concept were both very interesting.

Shame you cancelled this story. I think it really has potential.

4602057 I just PMd him/her about that

2409176 look that is "clean" Twilight, the Nightmare corrupts everything, the interactions between Celestia and Twilight aloed it to spread making her a little Xenofobic, Xenocidal, Racist and Speciest

2409352 look it's the motherfucking Nightmare we're talking about

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