For a time, it looked as though Earth would be completely subsumed by Equestria. The magical barrier advanced to overtake the entire planet, consuming all it touched. Then suddenly, it stopped.
Earth and Equestria have combined into a strange hybrid-world, two different planets in one. In the heartland of the United States, things are beginning to return to normal for the humans there as it seems the threat of imminent ponification has passed. But for the ponies of the Conversion Bureaus, it means something else entirely...
Chapters (9)
For the most part you have decent grammar, but you have a few too many comma splices.
In each of these instances, since you don't have the word "and," you need a semicolon, not a comma.
2808835 Thank you very much for catching those, I don't have a proof-reader. I appreciate you taking the time to tell me about the errors.
2808873 No problem.
I think it be more dramatic did not know about this.
Celestia: Why would i order something that would possibly lead to war... (Looks at luna)
Luna: WHAT! i didn't do this
Celestia:.... I'm watching you. anyway i have no idea who gave that idiotic but whoever it is, will have there head on a chopping block, like back during wendigoes days.
I meant celestia not knowing the TCB is still running, gives a more... conspiracy feel to it.
2809276 She's keeping it going... in secret.
2809311 nono i get that what you wrote, but the whole evil celestia running the tcb has been done. now say if the tcb is running secretly under orders from someone they THOUGHT was celestia, why that would give chance to a very good conspiracy, and possibly a start to a war, afterall if the barrier no longer causing trouble then nukes can happen.
2809360 That's a pretty good idea. Right now, I'm looking for a different Celestia, not necessarily evil.
2809390 fair enough but at least have her conscience argue with celestia choice.
2809610 Very good idea, thank you for the help.
2809610 Should I submit this to a conversion bureau group or other group? I don't really know how to do this, should I ask someone? Wait... I'm asking you. Do you know?
This is an interesting universe. I had never heard of it until now. This does give me an awesome idea for a story involving the humans joining the NLR, but I will hold off on it until I finish KH: Road to Twilight. The story looks very promising, but you may want to go back and edit a few things. I caught a few words missing more then once. I am all for dark stories and this one is very interesting.
Edit: if you haven't already, in order to submit a story you have to join the group. Once you do that, open the stories folder, look up at the top left screen, you should see an add story button. Click on it and scroll down until you find your story and click on it. That is it.
2811333 The curse of working alone at night and being too tired to do your own proofreading. Not like we can't go back and edit right? Thank goodness for that.
I look forward to more of KH and NLR, you've got some great stories of your own. And a very cuddly blue Halfling OC.
2811348 Thanks.
I loved it! The idea is amazing, just I agree with CartsBeforeHorses. Needs a little proofreading, but other than that; good job!
2811742 Alas, much of my work does. I'll try to keep it to a minimum and I appreciate the help he's given me, thank you for the feedback. Mistakes get by me sometimes, happens to all of us and I'm grateful to those who point them out.
I feel like I'm late to the party in a lot of things including TCB. Two friggin years and I JUST NOW find out about it... why does it take me so long to learn of things? Oh well. I hope everypony likes my contribution.
Not really a fan of this take on the Bureau. There are just too many issues. Why make conversion illegal if Equestria takes up half of the world? What precisely was Celestia smoking to make her think forced, clandestine ponification could ever be a good idea? Especially in a world where she's going to have to coexist with humans! And then there's equating the bureaus themselves with the PER, which is usually a fringe movement unaffiliated with them.
As for our hero, really? He can't digest liquid medicine, so the concoction full of magic and nanobots doesn't work? That's just... yeah, no.
Sorry, but this one just doesn't work for me. I can't see it happening. Disbelief cannot be suspended.
2814192 Well, she's not going to have to coexist with humans if they're all ponified is she? The process suddenly stopped. Humans saw it as a saving grace... others saw it as a setback.
As for the 'hero', don't jump to any conclusions. Just because he's a main character doesn't make him the hero.
As for PER and the Conversion Bureaus being affiliated, that might just be my modification of existing canon, my own take on things. Without spoiling anything, yes I do think it will be a bit different from the traditional TCB story, at least I think it will.
2814274
I just have trouble with a Celestia who can't live and let live. That's edging into "Arglbargl all humans suck and must be pones rarr"-lestia territory, at which point she is firmly in the role of Well-Intentioned Extremist villainy.
Still, you clearly have some supporters, so good luck with the story. I hope you enjoy writing it and others enjoy reading it.
2816546 What you guys have said really cuts deep. Celestia's mentioned once in this story, really it's more about the OCs. She's not even in the characters tabs. She might not even make an appearance, I don't know yet.
2816611
She may not have shown up, but her actions are what led to the events of the story. Celestia is simply too important for anything she does to be dismissed easily.
2816686 You're really ripping me apart here. I guess that answers one question though, you're saying that my story is a radical departure from the traditional TCB story? I can only assume that it's original then.
Much as I tried, I can't really find myself liking this. Getting ready for work, so can't go too far into details, but the core of the story reads to me as the same as the other "Ponies are trying to force all people to become ponies, but watch our Designated Hero (or whatever the trope is called) escape due to a contrivance" stories.
Granted, your particular choice of contrivance is pretty unique, but it still smacks to me of Special Snowflake.
2816777 Well, I like that idea and I couldn't find any others so I'm writing my own. You said it's unique so that's enough for me, if someone's written something similar I'd be welcome for you to inform me because I couldn't find anything and I looked.
I will have to agree with the crowd here and say that in my opinion Celestia wouldn't react in that way to the Barrier stopping and I'm not sure I fully agree that the conversion would actually erase their memories.
It is an interesting concept and all, but for now it's pretty much a "Ponies are the supreme master race" story.
2816965
Considering that that's how certain fics tend to treat them even outside the ACB, that's not exactly news.
*Pinkie oooooooo!*
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTIvMTAvMzEvMjNfNDVfMjlfOTIxXzEzODIyMV9fVU5PUFRfX3NhZmVfcmFpbmJvd19kYXNoX2FydGlzdF9taWtldGhldXNlciJdXQ/138221__safe_rainbow%2Bdash_filly_cute_artist-colon-miketheuser_ooh.png
Consider my attention caught!
2817036 I... don't understand, does this mean you like it? I'm sorry, I'm new with this kind of story and a lot is happening really fast.
2817085 The summary was well written and has a subject matter that interests me.
I haven't started yet because I have quite a backlog going on right now, but this is in my "guaranteed for reading" list.
You caught my attention. Nothing more is needed to be said until I can see the actual product.
2817007
Hmm, let me rephrase that, I don't have a tendency for it because, for now, it is a "Ponies consider themselves the supreme master race" story.
2817135 I... see, I'm sorry. No, please, take your time. I hope you enjoy it!
2817154 I don't really see this as the whole "pony master race" sort of thing, more like this is just what's good for everyone involved. Not superiority, just no other option.
281716
Well, why did the ponies come to this dimension/world, if they did so willingly of course?
2817163 I smell the smell of originality and grand adventure from this fic, so I believe I shall indeed enjoy my good sir!
2817181 It goes along with the idea that at one point ponification seemed imminent, like there was no other choice in the matter. The ponies originally offered the prospect of conversion to save humanity from simply being erased off the face of the earth by the barrier.
Not everyone wanted to be saved, though. Humans, as is our nature, lashed out violently at the would-be saviors and in so doing, ponies were exposed to violence. That's when ponification ceased. But then, so did the barrier shortly after.
Celestia doesn't take opposition well, remember the pilot. She had no choice but to imprison her sister in the moon for rebellion, despite the fact that there was only scattered opposition to the Conversion Bureaus, it was still a chaotic, senseless, destructive act. While there never was all-out war between humans and ponies, it was enough to make Celestia take steps to ensure that wouldn't happen again.
Rather than simply withdraw to Equestria and leave the humans to their fate, she decided to continue the work of conversion, making it mandatory in that sense. Once again, things happened so quickly that the word never spread entirely as the majority of humanity retreated in the face of the barrier.
But then, the barrier stopped. Despite these setbacks, Celestia firmly believes that ponification is the only way that lives will ultimately be saved. But not everyone or even everypony agrees with her... I ask you to draw your attention to the character tabs.
2817198 I sincerely hope so and maybe my other stories have a similar scent! But I won't take up too much of your time, I have writing to do! Thank you for your feedback sir! It is greatly appreciated!
2817210
Yes, yes, I fully understand that, however, maybe I had to rephrase the question. In the Last Man Standing for instance the ponies came to Earth because it was the only way to save their own world from being engulfed in concrete because patches of land were being transferred from one world to the other so on Earth patches of green grass appeared. And you had a virus/disease called the red plague which was killing off central Europe along with extreme pollution. And her hoof was forced to try and save as much of humanity as possible and she did, she even gave Earth the chance to recover before she casted her Earth's Rebirth spell.
And that is probably the biggest question for me - is the Earth in this story polluted as hell or is it normalish like now? Is there a disease or something that is forcing Celestia to forcefully convert humans? Mind you the Celestia in the pilot episode is a 1000 years older and I personally believe a 1000 years wiser.
2817261 In my story, the barrier itself is the problem. Earth and Equestria occupy the same space at the same time in two different dimensions. Earth, without magic is simply being engulfed by a second Equestria by magic from the first. This isn't a spell, it's simply magic leaking in and causing the effect.
It goes along with the theme that the magic of ponies themselves causes a change in people, the same way MLP changed people into bronies.
Equestria in the other dimension isn't changing at all, it's very much stable. Magic is what's causing the change, just the mere presence of it. The barrier itself was the threat, whatever it touched was erased and another Equestria was built. The higher lifeforms, however were not so lucky. While grass, trees, plant life was easily converted by the barrier, most animals were not, including humans.
The existence of Equestria is changing Earth physically... but the existence of Earth is changing Equestria in a much, much subtler way.
As for Celestia being 1000 years wiser, she has never experienced anything like this before in even 1000 years. I look to the Asari Matriarchs in Mass Effect for example, even they can make mistakes and be surprised in their long years. Not only that, Celestia let her sister stay in imprisoned in the moon for that long time. If she was as wise as you suggest, I would think she would've reconsidered her banishment at some point. This is simply a new situation for her and she's doing the best she can... or so she believes.
2817298
Hmm, alright, you've got my attention. I'll take it Celestia thinks the barrier stopped just briefly but will start again, eventually.
2817373 Bingo! It's a setback but still the only logical course of action is ponification! At least, they think it is.
But what if the barrier starts receding?
2817387
Humanization? Plot twist? All of the above? Your story, your ideas. I'm just a reader
2817413 I know! And there's going to be more than a few plot twists, I assure you. But it seemed like you guys were stereotyping my story
. You told me it was unique and different at the same time you don't like it and it doesn't belong in your group. It was very confusing.
We're a tough crowd to please
Don't worry once we get to know you and your stories we'll help out as much as we can. You just had a rough start that's all! 
Also, the reason why some people love it why some hate it within the TCB is because you've got the pro-pony crowd and pro-human crowd. And the neutral people. Politics, I wouldn't get involved if I were you.
2817429 You are VERY CLEARLY a tough crowd to please but I'm doing my best! No, I'm not frowning on you for having high expectations but cut a guy a break! I'm new!
I'll win you over eventually, I think I've already suggested a couple ideas you like, it's only a matter of working them into a story. If one doesn't work, I'll just try another but please don't prejudge something!
As far as pro-human, pro-pony politics goes, I love ponies, they are the cuddliness. I like humans too so I guess I'm in the middle but I find the thought of ruthlessly converting humans into ponies too tempting! I might write the opposite, would be interesting but for now, this one.
2817232 Wait, other stories?
*Looks at your list*
...Wat?...
"Conflicting Elements?"
"Forgotten Elements?"
"Teenaged Celestia?"
"MATURE RAINBOW DASH???"
...F
... there goes both my nose and the back log...
2817503 Once again, is that good or bad? And you might want to check the rating on the Mature Rainbow Dash story. You may be surprised...
2817519 It's good for you, hair pulling for me.
2818192 Hey now, I'm not asking you to read all my work, you already said you liked the description so at least that's something. I wish I could make the reading easier on you... oh wait, I can. MOST of my stories are in dire need of editing, the newest ones not so much. Bioshock could use a couple edits here and there but it's an interesting concept if I could ever actually get them into the city.
Writing this as I read.
Well shit. There goes the possible head cannon I would have had for this story.
I was thinking that there was a fail-safe in the potion itself to stop all transformations if the need for doing so was removed.
...Damn it. I was hoping for a "regretful Celestia" for this one. But Sun Tyrant is always acceptable if done right.
Well now! Knew he'd make an escape, but this bit of information is surprising... and a little confusing.
Where'd he get the spoon and what was it used for in his escape? My mind keeps thinking about the most common mystical use for a spoon (the usual "bend the spoon with your mind" psychic use), but I don't think that's what happened.
Overall, really original idea with the barrier mate! Will be faving this story for following purposes!
2822020 Take back that last bit of not understanding how the spoon fit in. Took a closer look at the sentence I copied and noticed this line "...cut in a crude fashion."
So he used the spoon to somehow cut the bindings...Two things still pop out for me.
1: what were the bindings made of to have allowed him to cut the bindings in the few minutes the doc was gone.
And 2: where'd the spoon come from?
2822025 It was still stuck in the kid's mouth. I didn't mention anything about him removing it, was thinking about saying something about him spitting it out but it really works out better this way.
As far as him cutting through the straps with a spoon... I wanted it to be a WTF moment.