Thoughts.
"Mortality is hard to face. But, perhaps that is due to my gifted longevity. Perhaps if I hadn't staved off my own time for so long, I would be more prepared. Humorous. With given time, I am less prepared than the common pony. Dark humor, but humor all the same. I never did have a flare for a fair bit of humor. Perhaps my life could have been better spent on learning how to laugh. If there is a life after this, that shall be my first objective. Recant, though I will, I ask only for a moment of clarity."
"Celestia... Oh, my dearest Celestia. What light you had brought into my world even after the moon had darkened the rest. Your smile and fair spirit I will hold close as I had our years together. You were so kind and forgiving... Perhaps that well fed to my acts on your sister and Discord. Kindness lit the darkness of hate they had casted upon me. How fair it was that you did not allow me the same lashing to them... I do not say so out of spite; I say so out of thought. You of all should know my eyes no longer see a reason to hate."
"Regardless, I see fit to ask of you a final request with the last of my hubris. I ask you, Celestia, my dearest friend, to forgive me. Forgive me, I beg of you... I do not wish to leave you alone; but this is a quest you must do on your own. I am not as they are... I do not have a naturally lasting life like your sister; nor do I possess the staving manipulation of Discord. I am but a unicorn. A unicorn that is... tired. So I ask you for forgiveness, so that I may rest."
"Forgiveness is hard to ask anyone that will soon have no one to pass the grief onto. This is why, though I leave you Celestia, I hope you will be the strong mare I know you to be. It had been wrong of us to do what we had done... Friendship is magic, not a tool. I could not understand that... Perhaps that is my greatest failing. In all my life, I had never understood friendship. Humorous. I call you a friend, yet I know not what friendship truly is. So, I will hope you and the others will find the answer for me."
"When she does return... Please tell Luna that I am not sorry for what I have done. I can hear her now calling me all her ramblings of me being an old fool for saying that. Let her have her spat over me... For afterwards, tell her that I do forgive her. At this, I can only imagine the disdain she would display... It is best in this case that I never do see her again. Not for my own well being; but so that she does not have to see my face. That brings me to another small request I hold to you, Celestia... Do not let her know what she had done."
"I hold no belief that your sister, in her rash of power, has no recollection of her actions as that ghastly creature. She will know the harm she has done; of this I am sure. Though... I know she will not recall what she had done to me. It had happened only in the rise of her transformation. Whatever took her, blacked out her mind for that moment. By makers, I thank that I was the only one that night. Do not tell her, I ask you this Celestia. Let her believe that this 'old fool' just grew tired... Not the knowledge that she had cursed me."
"I leave you upon that all, Celestia. The bidding of fair winds and skies be on you always. If there is an afterlife an not a reincarnation, you have the knowledge that my eyes shall always be upon you, my princess. My eyes... Yes, I will most enjoy watching you from above. Let us both hope that afterlife grants me this and not a new life where I shall forget all that I know. My spells are a loss I could not bare; just as well my knowledge. But, more so my love for you Celestia... You, your sister, and even Chrysalis and Discord... I hold a hope that, in the afterlife, I shall see your four happy once again... If only once."
"On the thought of hopes; I do hold a hope that once the seal I placed on Luna's binds breaks, as well as the incantation I placed on Discord is solved; that these two will be the least of your worries. At the very least, Luna's bindings are not to break for at least another five-hundred years. As for Discord...? To what, do I ask, are the chances that any pony will ever say 'dictionary, dodo, apple, chaos, Discord, bell' in under two minutes in front of the statue? The chances are highly unlikely in any time close to now. Regardless, I hope these two will be all you must deal with... As you know, there are many other horrors in this world."
"Arabus: the Terror of the Tempest. Though his wisp had long since been encased within the bison's totem and guarded, shadows have the tendency to crawl back..."
"Ahgg: the Changeling's Monstrosity. Chrysalis may hold true to keeping that creature locked beneath her castle; but even a spider grows hungry..."
"Grogar: the Necromancer. You... You know more of him then I... I needn't tell you of that creature."
"Lavan: the Manifestation of Fire. Long since, to my knowledge, he has been plugged up beneath the sea. Yet, lava does hold true to always trickle back to light..."
"There are more... So much more... But what good does it serve you to know what may seek you? Forgive me, one final time for even bringing these ideas up. I only prattle now... Perhaps, I shall tell you of more some time later. Tell of the worlds I would someday know. So much more left to see... But, that must come later. After I rest... While I rest, do not rest as well. You, my Celestia, my dearest friend, must be strong and stay awake until you find those who will prove victory where we showed failure."
"They will be the light of your new world. A world I will gladly open my eyes to and accept. This is a task I leave to you... Stay awake, and find what will be the key to our future. When that day finally comes... You will know, Celestia. You will know. So please, do not weep. Do not shed a tear until we are reunited as a unity once again. When Luna returns... you may cry again. I tell you this, because crying before me will mean nothing... Let your sister see the tears meant for me, you, her, and all the years you were alone... Your tears are only wasted before me."
"In that, I end this... I have lived a long life. Longer then it should have even been. But... I loved it far too much. You four gave me a reason to keep on... And you still do. However... I am not fit for this coming world. I leave my last spell upon you, Celestia. I know you will not finish it for the same reason I could not... But the one who draws from the elements... they will know. They will know."
"For now, Celestia, I am... tired. Allow me a moment to... collect myself. Perhaps, after I awaken, I shall tell you more. Perhaps... Until such as that time, be safe, my princess. Let harmony guide you, and let the sun always shine upon your face as it had done for me. I will always be your friend, Celestia... It has been a great honor. Sleep well, Celestia..."
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Awesome story. Also, I like the reference you've made to the CMC. That was funny.
Just FYI, I think the word you're looking for in the short summary is 'recounts', not 'recants'. Recant means to formally retract a belief or statement, not tell a story.
Pretty good! Starswirl sounds more like he's scatterbrained than "tired", that's the only real criticism I can lodge. I like how he can see the formation of the new world they all fought for, but he knows he will not be part of it. That adds a lot of weight to this story, because you gotta think now and again about all the heroes Equestria has had over the years. Celestia has known hundreds, maybe even tens of thousands, of ponies who have dedicated their lives to making the world a better place for the next generation. You did a great job of imagining Starswirl's last will and testament!
2157528 It was supposed to come off as scatterbrained. Star Swirl was brilliant and was gifted with more life than any other normal pony so he could keep learning more and more. In the end, it's a thought of "all that I've learned is going to be lost now". It's like when a computer crashes. You think to yourself after "I wish I saved a backup of everything". Which, if you were given a few minutes to get a backup, I'm sure you would. Star Swirl KNOWS he's about to die, so he doesn't want his last moment to be weakened by his tire. He wants to use this final moment to get out everything he needs before he's finally too tired to do any more.
Interesting... and saddening...
2157565
You hit the nail on the head then. This story sounds a lot like a hard disk making that horrid rattling noise that tells you all your data's about to make a nice paperweight, and you're trying your best to scrape a few files off before it goes completely. I've been there more times than I'd like to recall.
The final thoughts and ramblings of someone who knows they are about to die. Such a strange, and amazing concept.
Thank you for this insight into who Starswirl might have been.
Knowing everything is about to be gone, and nothing else matters to him but to pass on his knowledge and try to help Celestia with her greif, and not harm Luna when she eventually returns. I think this does show he did (to some extent) know friendship. It's an amazing look into his mind, and of death itself.
Bravo.
2160474 That itself is the true tragedy that will come out in the very end of my story series. He understood friendship, but only in the last moment. Celestia kept that spell waiting for the day Star Swirl's belief could come true in the shape of a unicorn as brilliant as him... Not a descendant of him, but a mare that showed great promise. In the very end, everything will be put together in an AMAZING masterpiece. The three teams that once held the elements, the bell that led to Celestia and Luna being born... Everything. This is only one piece of the puzzle.
Im not one for sad fics but this was great!
Very interesting. Somehow he reminds me at Deckard Cain
After reading this, I think that if Star Swirl was reincarnated, he would be Pinkie Pie.
2157565
And this is why I read the comments. Without this clarification, I was leaning twords a thumbs down, but now it makes a lot more sense. It still is not what I consider able to stand by itself, so I can't justify a thumbs up though, so I will leave it in neutral.