• Member Since 6th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Feb 4th, 2019


Comments ( 433 )

Neat, Big Mac is best herdleader :eeyup:
I'm hoping for some Twimac action soon though, if there's going to be some I mean :twilightsheepish:


I'd reveal my outline for the next six chapters, but then where would all the suspense go?!? That pairing is definitely in the pipeline though. Stay tuned!

i dont read clopfics a lot but this one is the best one I've read so far. Mostly because it's Luna and Mac and Tia. :twilightsheepish:
when i read clopfics im too shy to comment so I guess i dont have self esteem. :fluttershyouch:

can't wait to see where this goes hopefuly bring back lyra and bon bon and maybe throw in vinyl and octy


I'm really flattered that you overcame your inner Fluttershy and commented on my story, and you'll definitely see those three ponies popping up here and there in future chapters.


Anything is possible. I do want to have some subplots tied in with the main storyline, so those characters would fit the bill nicely.

So Big mac gets luckier then he could possible imagine? I'm guessing the next 6 chapters involves the Mane 6. Atleast the next 1-2 chapters needs to about Big Mac getting it on with Celestia and Luna more.

brushing off her plaid button-up and daisy dukes,



I regret nothing.


Luna and Celestia will be in every chapter of the story. Let's just say I love flashbacks.


It just jumped at me as the most logical outfit for a girl cowpony. For science!

......well now I need to favorite this and thank you for making this...so thank you:eeyup:
hah made me laugh so hard just the concept of
Celestia: "we need a stallion to fuck us silly"
Big mac: (crashes through door) "you called?"

I sorta hope AJ won't be part of the deal - at least not with MacIntosh. That pairing tends to be a little weird.

It's not a big issue, though.

My oh my. That is all I have to say, other than keep up the work, and keep it great as it is now. :twilightsmile:

I didn't finish this because I wasn't really interested (no offence), but something I noticed was a pretty distinct lack of consistency as to whether this was humanized or not. All of the characters seem to have a human view of clothing, and there are numerous references to using their hands, but you also use normal pony words in more expositive description, such as manes when talking about appearance, hooves when walking, mares and stallions for male and female characters, things like that. There's also no "Human" tag, which would point to non-humanized, but most of the important scenes I finished didn't make a lot of sense when imagining a normal pony.

They're anthropomorphised. It says so in the description of the story. So, it'd be wrong to give the story a "human" tag, but Fimfiction unfortunately doesn't have an "anthro" one.

It should, though.

"Hmm, I don't think simple is the write word,"

Just a mistake I noticed


Ha, I imagine that is more or less how the conversation went. I know the plot is rather sci-fi cheesy (hopefully the humor is apparent too) at points, but I think we've all seen our fair share of fantastical episodes filled with interesting plot devices. Glad you enjoyed it!


Honestly, that is the only thing I'm unsure of at this point, but I am strongly leaning towards a "no-go" answer. That way the sixth chapter will have a mystery mare!


Thanks for the very detailed critique! I admit using the words flank, mane, etc. are a bit confusing when paired up with human anatomy, but I also did that in order to vary up the word usage (trying to avoid repetition). Plus, they are fun to use (I admit to that). I skimmed the rules about tags, but I didn't think that anthropomorphised and humanized where the same thing. Was I wrong about that? Thanks again for your help.


Yes, it should! I wonder if the admins will add that in the near future. I know I always get a little upset when I stumble into a fic expecting one thing and find something completely different from the tags, so I can understand if anyone was put off. My bad.


Oh Taco, I kept telling myself that I had proofread this story to perfection...thanks for shattering my dreams :raritycry: . Seriously though, thank you for finding that typo. I'm gonna fix it now.

I don't really know the specific rules about tags, though personally I would have included the "human" tag at some point before the characters all had hands, wore clothes everywhere, and walked about on two legs (though technically that last one was only implied). I guess my guidelines would be to use the tag any time at least one character is fully human, but if it's less than all the way the tag is only needed if EVERY character is partially human. Possibly with a little bit more of a curve for the extremely-near-human-but-not-quite cases, and probably erring on the side of using the tag in cases where the additional traits are present from the beginning without in-universe explanation. All theoretical though, I've never had to actually go through and assign tags for something yet, much less deal with borderline cases somewhere between the two extremes of the anthropomorphization spectrum.

On the other hand, you really did give as much warning as anyone should require within the description; I did some other things between reading that and reading the story and only remembered the general premise until Derpsby brought it up. The description was apt, and thorough enough that I really knew I wouldn't like it right from the beginning, and am still not sure why I thought to read it anyway.

The terminology still seems inconsistent to me though; it might just be that I didn't read from the start expecting a mix of human and pony anatomy, and haven't checked back with that in mind, but it apparently didn't leave me with a clear image of exactly what ways the characters were morphed.

Good mechanics (grahmatically) and excellent variety of descriptive words. The fact that there is a plot mixed in that is very well thought out is excellent as well.


Thanks again for another wonderful critique. Clarity is something that is very important to me, so I'll try to be more descriptive. Did it seem like they didn't resemble the stories picture because of the words flank and mane? Or does that just flip the switch back and forth between human and pony?


That is an intense looking alicorn avatar, and thanks for the grammar praise! It is integral to my profession, so I try my best to make sure everything is neat and comprehensible.


Thanks brony. Glad you enjoyed it!

Well looking at the title image (which I didn't examine closely before now) I don't think you said anything that particularly disagrees with that appearance, but I wouldn't have really come up with something like that when picturing the characters in my head. Admittedly I'm pretty awful at picturing characters in my head to begin with. There were a couple specific words I had thought you used, specifically "saddlebags" and "galloped", but ctrl+f says no so I can only tell you that the description seemed inconsistent before I considered forms significantly between pony and human, and finding out after the fact hasn't removed that vague feeling even though I can't recall any specific scene or term that wouldn't fit with the rest.

Sorry I can't be of more help, but I don't really want to re-read just to see if I can find something. It's most likely just in my head, or maybe something that is technically a little weird but reads fine. If nobody else even mentions having a similar feeling then don't worry about it.

2028558 thanks for the compliment on the avatar! Most people give guff over them but I'm glad it made an impression on you.


Noted. I'm working on the second chapter now, so hopefully I can alleviate the confusion this time around.

Man my OC would be perfect Ina story like this. Anytime I see a ycolopfic that sounds interesting, I take a deep breath and yell out LEEROY JENKINS and click on it.:facehoof:


I hope that is a good thing :pinkiehappy: . Mr. Jenkins always seemed like a really happy guy to me...before the whelps ate him.

2028876 Of course I use that for bops2 and bf3 but I usually die all the same.:derpytongue2:

I'm liking this so far, although, the sex scenes felt a bit short and rushed. The build up to the sex, however, was awesome. I give you a moustache.:moustache:

While a bit cliché in the setup, you really wrote some interesting characters, even though I'm not sure why Luna is suddenly Tsundere or whatever that's called. Derpy/Ditzy sounded particularly natural. Overall a very good read, though I'm sure I could ramble on about minor problems with it at a later date :) Hope to see more from you!

2026958 This story reminds me a teensy-weensy bit of another story called The Herd .... did you take some inspiration from it, or was it just completely coincidental? Anyways, congrats on being featured. :raritystarry:

Edit: Just in case you HAVEN'T read the story I linked, hold off on it till after you finish your story (that way no one could accuse you of *purposefully or accidentally* ripping off elements of it). False accusations make Fluttershy cry :fluttercry: and we don't want that, do we? :pinkiecrazy:

An anthro clop fic gets featured.

I just don't understand the sites interest in anthro. If this same fic was full humanized, I doubt it'd garner half the attention it's getting now.

Despite my sour words, congrats on getting featured.

We all knew Big Mac wwas a big pimp.

Well, personally, while I find a good many of the characters of the show emotionally attractive, full ponies aren't to me. On the other hand, a full humanization feels it would take too much away from what they are. Of course, that's just me, but it's as good a hypothesis as any.

A very well written fic. I'll be watching to see where this goes.

Notices 69 likes. Pushes the green thumb!!:pinkiecrazy:

not bad. bit long for an intro chapter though.

An excellent start to what promises to be a well written and enjoyable clop fic. I especially liked Luna's characterization, which is interesting given that the domain of night is most often the time for lovemaking. But when one's older sister is involved, it is difficult to avoid being flustered.

I give your story a yay. :yay:


In hindsight, I have to mostly agree with you about Luna's character. I think I was using her as a foil for Celestia's more dominant personality, as well as trying to play up her social awkwardness (as we saw in "Luna Eclipsed"), but it does come off as reluctant-wantonness (I just coined that word). What might have been more interesting, and perhaps more true to the show, would have been to have the two sisters engage in a display of one-upmanship with Big Mac caught in the middle. Also, I had just seen this image (SFW) on MLP Reddit when I started writing Luna's scenes.

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