Perception Filter
Joined 21st May, 2012 ·
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- Perception Filter · 9.6k words · 45 3 · 1.5k views
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I CAN'T WAIT! (I can if its to much on you though) I NEED MOAR NOW!! (Like I said, take your time) But my nipples are pretty hard about this story.
IT HAS BEGUN.
I wonder how you'll introduce Pen Knife.....
2034120 In the FUTURE!
2118081 Check my second to latest blog post.
This is pretty good, nice intro to a few of the characters, and you have a good level of intrigue in what is happening. You also set a good pace for the story, and have a good sense of mystery.
so it begins....soon
Based off of what I read, I'm guessing they're going to be attacked by plants that wouldn't have been a problem if you had hired Lily. (Oh, and it's O'Tipsey. The 'T' is capitalized, and I might go insane if I don't mention it.)
2258073 WELL FUCK YOU TOO!*
I meant it's fixed.
What do you mean "cut out of the story"? You mean just for this chapter or for the whole thing? Adn if you mean the whole thing, then who was cut out?
2258224 The whole thing, and it's not your character. I already notified those I cut out. And yes, it's for the whole story.
2258258 Ah, ok. I must say, the overall quality of your writing seems to have improved from the first chapter to this one. Might I ask if Pen Knife will be in the next chapter?
So, wait, is White Lily cut out, or not? I'm confused.
Oh, and the scene with her appearance was hilarious. I love you (no homo).
2260116 No she's not been cut out, it's just the way I'm putting her in.
2258360 Thank you! And yes, he will be in the next chapter.
2261593 What I meant is, does she have just this appearance and no more in the story, or will she re-appear later on?
2269439 She's still in the damn story! If I'd have bothered to cut her out, I wouldn't have even mentioned her! Didn't you read that I said it's my way of introducing her into the story?
2271138 Sorry, I was just confused.
2272832 Sorry, was kinda mad
2273291 S'alright. I was being a bit oblivious to what was likely obvious.
I like it mostly...... But Pen Knife is more a Luna supporter than Celestia, ponies aren't men, they're stallions. And I don't think he would have abandoned post that quickly but other than that I say it was good. I'm not expecting you to get Pen Knife perfect since you aren't me and don't have every aspect of Pen Knife's personality sitting in your head but I just figured I'd point it out.
2290824 I'll try to fix that, and, no offense, but I can use the term men if I damn well please. But I'll try to fix his personality up. Also, the reason I made him leave his post is because 1.) He had permission from Celestia, 2.) Celestia's kinda a bitch, and Luna died a few thousand years ago... (That's gonna be explained a bit later in the story)
2290531 Because fuck you.
2291345 Geeze, wasn't trying to be rude with the whole men vs stallions thing. Sorry.
Still don't see how Celestia can really be termed a bitch. We barely see enough of her to really make that kind of assumption and what we do see of her is loving and kind. But it is your story and if that's how you want to spin her then go right ahead. Not complaining, just commenting.
Wow. Drifting Facade was right. Shadow Clock is a bit of a bitch.
2291407 There's an Alternate universe tag, and Luna's dead. If you've paid attention to any of the indicators I've put in the text, you would know this is really far set from the canon universe.
2294622
Didn't notice the alternate universe tag and didn't question it when you said Luna was dead. Like I said, not complaining, just commenting on something that seemed strange to me.
Sorry if I upset you.
2295447 Just a little upset.
2333405 If you notice a distinct lack of emotion from your character, it's because I haven't been able to get her a lot of dialogue so far.
God, I could read that bar scene over and over and be entertained. You got my character's personality down pat, and I love the bitch she is.
I'm almost sad. Almost.
2487740 Why are you almost sad?
2487907 Didn't I say you had full reign to kill her when the time comes? I quite remember.
Meh, Either way, Live or Die, she's gonna rock all them ponies.
2488268 Almost all of them are going to die...
2488548 Oh......
well then, Carry on.
<Backs off awkwardly.>
2492243 I love you.
2493127 I know....As does Smitty, and Trebek. Possibly Chives.
google.com/imgres?sa=X&hl=en&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&tbnid=wTR8iqMK1U7K-M:&imgrefurl=http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and%2520here%2520we%2520go&docid=99XexuavXRqTpM&imgurl=http://24.media.tumblr.com/d0b01d78ebdf81b8824e8e546d3501ac/tumblr_mgozbhtqap1qhnoxno1_500.gif&w=500&h=257&ei=C1p9UevpJIz29gSwr4DADg&zoom=1&ved=1t:3588,r:1,s:0,i:103&iact=rc&dur=334&page=1&tbnh=161&tbnw=313&start=0&ndsp=15&tx=121&ty=82
Hhhhmmmmmm........ Pen Knife has been much more well done in this chapter...... I give you my stamp of approval.
Why do all good people have such the shortest lives? Oh the humanity!
<Forced sobbing.>
2531240 They shall die. All except one of them.
(That's the only spoiler you're getting)
2531483 Just like in that other story in that one place in time.
2534140 Oh yeah, I saw that one in theaters. Do you remember that one part with that one guy? He did that thing!
2534216 Dude! I totally watched that movie with that thing and that guy that did that thing! It was awesome! I have to watch it again!
2538875 Yeah. Good times.
2539030 We gotta watch it together, And make love under the freeway. Just like old times.
2539065 Yes, and no. Not under the freeway. Someplace... less public.
2544895 Like the motel room where all the dead congregate?
2544902 That sounds adequate.
2544916 It better be, I paid good money to keep that running