Chapter 10
Twilight happily skipped to the home of her parents. A smile of victory hung high on her face. Her mission of infiltrating Christina Clydesdale's studio and sabotaging her show was a complete success. She eagerly returned home to join her family's celebration. As she arrived at the house, she was covered by hugs of gratitude.
"I knew you could do it, Twily," Shining said as he held his sister in and ruffled her hair. Cadence and her pregnant belly moved towards Twilight and wrapped her hooves around the lavender mare.
"That was amazing; you pulled it off perfectly,” Cadence said.
Dazzle and Orion also walked toward their daughter and held her.
"I think it's finally over," Dazzle said.
"After this, I doubt that Christina will ever say anything on her show ever again," Orion said as he took his seat back on the couch.
Sitting next to him was the sleeping Aurora. The little filly was picked up by her father and rocked gently. She opened her eyes. She smiled and reached out at her father's muzzle.
"Who's daddy’s little angel?" Orion said in a baby voice.
Twilight walked over to her father and joined him on the couch. Aurora saw Twilight and reached out for her as well. Orion slowly handed the little filly to his daughter. Twilight brought her little in for a hug and the little foal wrapped her hooves around her sister. Suddenly Aurora put her lips to her sister's teat and tried to suckle. It caught Twilight so off guard that she screamed a little. Dazzle saw what was happening and rushed over to Twilight. She snatched Aurora up and took her in her hooves.
"No Aurora, that's not mommy!" Dazzle yelled as she did.
Twilight quickly stood up. "Sorry everyone, but I should go; we'll have to celebrate some other night," Twilight said as she walked toward the door.
Shining looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was getting rather late. "Sorry everyone; Cadence and I should be going as well," he said he helped his pregnant wife to her hooves.
The two left and Dazzle and Orion were finally alone with their baby. Dazzle scooted closer to her husband. He held her close and ran his hoof through her mane. "I love you so much," Orion said.
"I love you, too; and thank you for giving us our little filly," Dazzle said as she held Aurora.
A small rumble was heard from Aurora's belly. "Sounds like someone is hungry." Orion said.
"Would you feed her? I'm sore," Dazzle said with a giggle. Orion simply rolled his eyes. Dazzle lifted up a small blanket and placed it over Aurora as she fed her. The filly made little sucking noise as she nursed.
"Doesn't that hurt?" Orion asked. "Believe me, it hurts a lot more when she doesn't feed." Dazzle said as she fed her baby.
Later that night
Dazzle, Orion and Aurora slept in bed. Orion held Dazzle and she was snuggling her foal. Aurora began to scream. The screams instantly awoke Orion and Dazzle. "Will you take this one?" Dazzle said muffled by the pillow.
"Ugh, sure," Orion said as he got out of bed and picked up his daughter. He slowly rocked her and patted her back. Aurora burped and stopped crying. Orion became extremely proud of his accomplishment. "See babe, it's that simple." Orion said.
"Oh you're the man," Dazzle said. Aurora suddenly vomited everywhere and Orion was covered in his daughter’s puke. "Sure glad I didn't take this one," Dazzle said with a giggle.
"Hey, I got the easy one; it may have come out the front, but I bet it's coming out the back your turn," Orion said with a laugh.
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No offense, but the way you put Christina back into here after she was already seemingly defeated for revenge seems a bit like a bad move to go with. There was another story called Veil of Thoughts that had a similar scenario where Twilight and Rainbow accept their merged state, only Celestia ends up turning them into something worse than Discord, the author changed that chapter and made it the last chapter when many complained about it. Basically I don't think having the problem seemingly fixed and then having it reinstated because of one thing is a good idea in the end.
Oh come on really, Christina and her asshole-in-training daughter torturing Check Mark by basically twisting his leg off. And now they're headed to the Sparkle house for more twisted revenge. Honestly the whole "slimy home wreaking talk show hostess" subplot has become completely ridiculous, not to mention she should of been sued or put in jail for slandering the family of three national heroes(Twilight and her friends have saved Equestria three times and Shining Armor and Cadance rule and helped protect the Crystal Empire from Sombra).
Well .... That got dark ...
Aurora magic surge will tear their psychotic heads off or something just as justice giving
Some ponies just never learn but she should know that she got what she deserved, honestly she had the Princess of Love imprisoned all because she was defending the Sparkle Family. And she doesn't even care that Dazzle or Auora could have died because of her. She's just like Lightning Dust in that she doesn't care who she hurts so long as she gets what she wants!
Christina get out of here with your daugther, lay off the poor Sparkle family will ya?! Geez you're a creep! Go away, we're having a good time until you showed up Christina! Ugh go have some coffee with cream or something, because I'll tell you something, this a happy place!
,
Honestly the studio should have been the closing and whats her face should have learned the whole "oh well, i'm defeated for this story so i'll back off and never bee heard from again". I see that you got rid of the sudden romance between Twi and Check Mark, last time I saw it I couldn't help but skim over it no offense. In the end, it was a neat story but the walls of text have to be fixed.
The real reason I made a huge change in the story is cause I'm thinking about ending the story altogether. Maybe I'll rewrite this chapter like I did the other one I'm quite sure yet. I'm honestly tired and maybe I'll get some fresh ideas. If anyone has any ideas for the story I want to hear them cause I want to hear what you think. Btw I like my stories to be random and weird, seriously if people can't understand that I might just stop writing.
1829450 Well I think the situation here is this scenario is so overused people hate it now. Too often I've seen an incident with one antagonist being defeated and then either suddenly the antagonist is put back in action in mere moments or they immediately put in a new antagonist who is even worse than the last. Basically having Christina get her just desserts and then putting a scenario where it will happen again is just not really literary gold to people, its more like literary fool's gold.
Basically I think it would have been better if the evidence of what Christina was doing was revealed to the public and she's out into jail, I think that would end better than this.
1831272
This, some one who works for Christina(other than Check Mark) gets fed up with her antics and reveals to the press everything how she's made the Sparkle's lives a living hell for no other reason than she believed she could get away with it(that and steal Orion away from Dazzle). This 'mystery' stool pigeon wouldn't have to be identified, all that would matter is that through them Christina would be completely exposed for the witch she is and face serious consequences(perhaps even jail time)for dragging the Sparkle family through the mud and slandering them.
1833453
Wait, which part of my comment were you responding too? I'm a little confused.
1833512
The part where you stated it would be best if evidence Christina's actions were exposed to the public, instead of her bouncing back.
1833757
Oh, okay then.
Hey Christina I've got a poem for you, want to hear it?
It goes something like this:
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I am Panis Cupcake.
I will eat you!
I really like the story!!!!
always wondered about the title
5009634
One thing you never expect is a comment on comments that themselves are over a year old, which might as well be ancient history.
Why is this so Long on incomplete.