- Member Since 5th Feb, 2022
- offline last seen 32 minutes ago
Rusty Kettle
So many ideas, so little time. Commissions are open! Check out my blog for more info!
Rusty Kettle
Joined 5th Feb, 2022 ·
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Wow! Blacklight is such a cool awesome character!! I can't wait to see what heroic exploits she will get into!
Loving this! Cant wait for more
Truly one of the greatest pieces of literature of our time. Blacklight is one of the greatest, most well-developed characters in history, and I'm looking forward to more of this amazing work of art.
Nice work.
Surely, nothing bad will happen in unexpected ways.
Lets go new fallout equestria story that also featured
Blacklight is such a noble and pure character! I wonder what kind of amazing things she'll do for the poor ponies of the wasteland!
Surely, she couldn't do anything bad and cause inordinate amounts of suffering!
research team, huh I feel like they may have some sort of rivalry with some other science based team of research or something.
👍
Wow! Another exhilarating chapter with our heroine BlackLight! I can't wait to see what she does next!!
Can you hurry up and finish this so I can read it all without having to wait for the next chapter? Smh
This is so good, I need more. Loving the fight scenes, Wonder what will happen next
Finally got the time to read your story, and it's great, just like your other stories, and it's been a long while sense I read FoE story, and I sure it will turn out great. I do like the Black light's situation with still struggling to grasp that everything she had been taught was a lie, but her blunt honesty and taking ponies at face value if going to bite her in the flanks. I do wonder what is the stable's purposes is in training and testing those foals from birth and them apparently euthanized right after they graduate, sounds like eugenics projects of some kind that seems linked to the cutie mark maybe. it's curious that Black Light seems to be a unicorn pony and Zebra hybrid, I wonder how she got those genetics so many generations removed from the ponies before the war, either they had a sizable zebra population in the stable when they sealed up, or that they used genetic sample they had in could storage maybe vat or invitro. From the looks of it the foals have never know any family structures in their lives, which sort of reminded me of Darling in the FranXX in a way. I am guessing the fact that she has Zebra genetics might be the reason why she was so delayed in getting her cutie mark in her life, because it's trigged in a different way. I wonder if some of the other foals have those genetics too that pore while colt could be one of them. I do like Gamma Ray, in a way he sounds like a mirror reflection of Blacklight that will turn into a tragedy, and from his name I can guess that the next time we will see him he will have considerably 'Hulk' up. Back to Blacklight I am she sound very stubborn and dogmatic in her belief of being a savior will be what pulls her through forcing the Wasteland to conform to her
From the looks of the defender's is sounded like they were planning to bait the raiders into attacking them and were 'maybe' slightly more Friendly then the raiders but it seems that she has burned her bridges before she had the chance to learn about them. But seeing that the school she came out of Fillydelphia Stable, it's more likely that they are affiliated with slavers, you can be sure that she is probably very close to Red Eye's attention or that the story take place from before he came into power.
The Trio of Raids certainly seem hilarious in how blatantly bad as they are, and it's obvious that they will have Black Light on the menu, but she will have the better of them. I wonder if they will become her flunkies trying to stave off their execution by her hooves to keep passing off as innocent ignorant surface dwellers.
Sorry for missing out on commenting on the PBB story, I have been just... not there struggling with issues, I did like this version and it felt really immersive this time around; top quality. I hope you will continue it again soon.
11868655
Hey there man! Thanks for sticking around and for all the kind words, I'm glad you're enjoying the story.
If you'd like to talk to me more directly or get more frequent news about my works, I'd be happy to have you on my Discord! You have some great predictions hehe.
Another day, another wonderful chapter for our Heroine BlackLight! Super stoked to read her exploits to come!
NOOOOO, YOU CANT. Leaving me on cliffs like this
Thanks for the chapter
Cant wait for the next one
İ hope this story stay alive i font want to see another great story abonded
11869123
Updates will slow down from here on out, but I fully intend to finish this story.
The entire thing has already been outlined from beginning to end and my patrons will definitely keep me working. Glad you’re enjoying the story!
This was an excellent chapter I love Blacklight's stubbornness and dogmatic belief in her cause blinds her to the obvious that those ponies were raiders; it almost seemed like her earnestness was actually endearing to them with how much initiative, I almost feel story that they all died. From the sound of it these warriors of future sounds a lot with all the crap that she was feed with all her life, I wonder if they have any link to her stable? From the sound of it, unless they are at the extreme periphery of the Red Eye's slaver city, unless it's his time. From what I recall Fillydephia was already a slaver town well before he came around so maybe ten years before? I wonder how she will survive the failed battle. Looking forward to see what happens next.
Black light in 10 chapters at this rate "Help I've accidentally joined the baltimare mafia"
This is one of the fics of all time.
11872530
GREATEST****
Ftfy :)))
Poor Black Light, so intensively naïve, but she was brought up that way, probably as part of her Stable's "secret project" they were given by Stable Tech itself. I know it will take awhile, but I do hope she finds some pony who can set her straight. It's interesting you've made your hero this way, many authors don't do that, and even Kkat had LittlePip run into ponies who set her straight fairly quickly. It's a different angle and I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this.
11894450
Glad to see that you’re enjoying my work!
Black Light has been a really fun character to plan out and write, and I hope you and all other readers continue to enjoy her story. I decided to take a different angle with this fic than what I’ve usually seen in FoE spin offs, and I hope it pans out the way I’ve planned it.
If you want to talk about the fic more or just get updates on any progress I make you can feel free to join my Discord, we always welcome new fans!
HEY! IT UPDATED. Seems like you didnt drop it and are sticking to the monthly schedule. Cant wait for the next chapter! Such a good one. Need more BL
awesome chapter
11918826
Thank you!
It’s a little bit slower than previous chapters, but no less important :)
I love this story so much, cant wait for the next one
11918976
Thank you and I'm glad you're enjoying my work!
When I saw the covert art, the first impression it gave me was that our protagonist is a recolor of Littlepip, the same mane color, the same mane style and her coat color minimally changed, only differentiating her by the eyes and the cutie mark, copying designs by other artists seem disrespectful to the work of others and unethical, taking away my interest in reading this due to the lack of originality that is presented just by looking at the cover, but I'm going to give it a chance anyway, I want to know what unique aspects this FOE have.
I had read on Reddit that this story kind of mocks "Bad FOE Writing" I thought this might be the reason why Black Light looks so similar to Littlepip, like some kind of satire, but I don't see the comedy tag so that this story should be treated seriously, hard to do with names like "Dot Product" and "Quick Check" Or will it be part of the satire? I don't know, but I appreciate that you take the effort to give names to characters who are not important to the plot.
Littlepi- I mean Black Light our protagonist, at first I got the feeling that she is another Mary Sue, especially all the achievements she has made that she mentions in the first paragraphs, this is further reinforced, when a random dude asks her a date, was it sarcasm? What facial expression did he make? We only get a "He replied" making that exchange feel unnatural and forced, this could have been fixed with more details and context, ruining my enjoyment of the Test scene. Did you want to show that Black Light is attractive and that everyone wants to sleep with her? Add more context and more detailed descriptions of the characters' actions, because a "He replied" feels empty and soulless.
The footnotes giving us descriptions of the characters, what exactly is this for? Wouldn't it be better to develop that in the story instead of explaining everything? I don't understand the purpose of this, this ruins the possibility that we can learn more about the characters, with interactions and even a chapter dedicated to Meridian, if Black Light is not the only character who will narrate the story.
I already read the chapter, and at least it left me wanting more despite its flaws. Another thing that this story needs if it is going to be long, is to make the characters have different voices, they all sound very similar, I think the only one who has a different voice is Dot Product with her shy way of speaking, but the others sound the same, not even Black Light has a unique way of speaking despite being the main character.
I suggest you work better on the names of your characters, many of them feel out of place in the MLP universe, Black Light and another one called Light Show, are the most decent names this story has, on MLPWiki, there's names of many ponies , you can take some from there or make some changes, I appreciate the originality of the names, but it takes away from the seriousness of the story when I say the names in my head.
Now the positive, Black Light as a character, for now she does not offer anything new, I suppose that in the other chapters we will see how she stands out in many other Stable Dwellers that we have, but I like her interactions between her and Dot, as Black Light describes to detail the settings and the actions of the characters in a simple and clear way, I would like it to be more colloquial and not simplistic language but in the end it is your decision, it kept me immersed throughout the chapter except for the scene that I mentioned before, I see potential here.
11941241
Oh my, that’s a big comment!
First of all I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my work. With that out of the way, on to your comment!
You are only half right about her design, but it’s understandable since the cover has darker lighting. Her mane color and style are taken from Littlepip, true. But her coat and eye colors are taken from Blackjack. Same with her name, Blackjack and Littlepip the Lightbringer.
The aim of this fic is partially to satirize some elements of FoE and Horizons, but the main goal is simply to experiment on trying to make a good story using the tired tropes of FoE (overpowered mary sue unicorn protagonists, companions that agree with everything) while also avoiding certain others that I don’t like all that much (excessively large factions, unnecessary horny content, nonsensical settlements, etc). In short, this is simply what I want to see from FoE stories.
Why thank you, I like naming characters based on their personalities, jobs, or appearance, much like they were in the show. My naming of side and inconsequential characters is just to add a bit more to the story, make the world feel like it’s alive even when Black Light isn’t present.
Correct, she is intended to be a Mary Sue as a way to poke fun at all other FoE spin off protagonists who are Mary Sues. The real comedy here comes from the fact that even when intentionally writing her to be a Mary Sue I still made her underpowered in comparison to other fics I’ve read or heard about.
That scene was simply Gamma Ray making a joke that flew over Black Light’s head
Uhhh… as mentioned several times in the chapter, Black Light is a filly, and the others are colts… none of them want to do that.
The footnotes are completely inconsequential to the story and can be skipped completely, the characters that are described in them are not mentioned in the story itself and are simply intended to add some small world details for anyone who wants to know a little more. They are written as a nod to many FoE fic’s “level up screens”
Worry not, I have ways of differentiating character voices. Don’t expect accents to be baked into the dialogue, however.
As stated previously, my character names are simply made by considering their occupation, appearance, or personality.
I’m glad you still found enjoyment in the story despite the perceived flaws, and I hope you continue to do so. Cheers!
Woooo! I love this story so much. Thank you for another chapter!
i have a feeling that blacklight would get aroused more from the armor and weapons then the pony wearing it
nice chapter
awesome action
branch yelling "leeroy jankins"
11941281
Now that I understand and like that approach, it seems strange to me that not many people criticize those aspects. It seems that we agree, and I'm really happy because I think the same. I mean, I'm also fed up with those tropes. I wonder if you are also going to satirize the bad romance writing that exists in both stories.
I do not consider myself an expert in romance; but I think that the cringe-worthy romance that both stories have made me uncomfortable, especially the relationship between Littlepip and Homage; their relationship is the most unnatural thing I have ever read in my life. I would like to know your opinion on this and if you plan to satirize the terrible romance of these stories.
I also think it's a personal preference. It's true that it makes the world feel alive, especially in a stable where everyone lives together, and naming everyone can be challenging. It will be difficult for me to get used to those names, but I think that as I continue reading, I will get used to them.
I didn't remember that; I think I missed that. I'm going to read the chapter again because I don't know if I accidentally skipped paragraphs.
To be honest, I prefer that option more than perks, levels, and all that shit. I feel that adding gameplay mechanics to a story breaks the immersion; they are confusing, and I never understand how they are implemented in a story. Plus, they are useless. We already know that the MCs are always going to win.
It's just a personal preference. I have no problem with there being no accents or anything; the story is still enjoyable.
No problem, man. When I can, I'm going to read the next chapter and do my "criticism," if you can call it that. I tend to forget details, and I tend to make a lot of mistakes in what I say since I get distracted easily and I forget things very fast.
11942059
I can understand why most people don’t criticize them, given how they don’t seem to mind them all that much. But yes, in this fic I will either seek to find a different or more engaging interpretation of the tropes; or avoid them altogether and provide an alternative.
There is very little if any romance planned for this fic. And to be fair, bad romance permeates more than just FoE spin offs
To be completely honest, I believe Pip and homage were slightly rushed, but it could’ve been overlooked had the relationship been developed beyond a couple of nice moments that were punctuated with excessive lewdness. The less said about Horizons romance, the better.
Yup, not to mention how eventually they just turn into “maximum level reached” for the remainder of the fic. As for the MC always winning… I guess that depends on perspective, or at least that’s how I’ve planned the fic out.
My extremely long chapters probably won’t help with this. But in any case, thank for your taking the time to do so, I love reading people’s thoughts.
The chapter begins by delving into how Stable 75 works and Black Light's day-to-day life, which is a positive thing because it adds depth to Black Light as a character and some variety to the story, showing some everyday moments. I hope that it keeps that way, even when she leaves the stable, that it doesn't just focus on survival and action; variety is key to keeping readers interested, especially in long stories like these.
And it's something admirable, I must say, because when I wrote Stable 50, I had no idea how to introduce a unique experiment that is not copied from Fallout and any other FOE. An idea only occurred to me when Stardust came out of the Stable, and since I manage many characters, it does not focus only on 1. I take this opportunity so that her friend and her parents, the chapters that I have planned for them, function as a basis to explain how the Stable works without the need for the protagonist to be there, adding depth to their characters as a plus.
For example, it's as if Black Light came out of her stable, and while Dot Product, Quick Check, and Gamma Ray are still there, the chapter is about them without Black Light being there. For me, it was the best thing I could think of, and I think that way, it's a more unique approach. From my perspective, I like to be different.
There is something that doesn't add up to me. You had told me that Black Light is a filly, but then she narrates in an advanced and complex way that I highly doubt that somepony her age would say, like in this paragraph.
There is an explanation that occurs to me, and it is that we know that Black Light likes to read, so reading and encountering words and concepts that she did not know and then discovering their meaning could have influenced her way of speaking. Also, Stable 75 demands the best from every pony, so that could be a reason why Black Light talks this way.
The moment when Black Light got her cutie mark, I really liked the scene. Moments of happiness, especially the ones that are well written, are appreciated. We are still in the stable, so I don't know how dark this story is going to be. The mature tag is there for a reason, but in the future, I hope there are more scenes in which Black Light experiences happiness, not just happiness but a variety of emotions that are not only negative. If she experiences a wide variety of emotions and there is a balance between heartwarming and dark moments, you are creating a realistic character that I am sure many readers will be able to easily connect with.
If there is no balance, the story can become repetitive; too many dark moments can make the story bore me, and no matter how much blood you put in, no matter how much you add scenes of foals being killed in the most brutal way possible, this will be my face of reaction:
Because there comes a time when readers become desensitized to so much shit happening in the chapters, making it difficult to feel empathy for the characters, in addition to the fact that the story becomes predictable.
The same thing happens with moments of happiness. I'm not saying that there has to be a conflict in all the chapters, but I think it's obvious when I say that the story needs moments in which not everything can be flowers and shine; the characters need to face challenges that test everything they have learned and surprise us with the way they overcome them. I say this from my perspective and the little experience I have writing stories.
This exchange... it's not that there's anything wrong with it; the conversation is natural; it's the way Quick Check responded; it was cold af. Imagine that you get something that costs you a lot of effort, and then they respond to you this way? That has happened to me a million times, and it really pisses me off when that happens, when your efforts are not valued.
And the fact that Black Light doesn't react to this, being a filly, makes it even sadder.
I wonder how Pipbucks work. The fact that a device tells you what to do is very weird. In Fallout, we know that it is to tell the player what to do to not get lost, but adapting this exactly in a story is a decision that I never agreed with, because it could feel that Black Light does not do what she does on her own, but because a device is telling her what to do, therefore, the only gameplay mechanic that could more or less work in a story is the S.A.T.S. Which is like bullet time and could work perfectly in a story. Matrix has already done it in an excellent way, but for the rest, I don't really like that idea.
It works better and more coherently than the Pipbuck; it works to listen to the radio and communicate with other ponies; it also serves to illuminate dark places if the user is not a unicorn; and it tells the user their health, it could also be consistent with the implementation of magic, but my point is that the Pipbuck seems more like a living being than a device.
Which brings us to the next question: how does the Pipbuck know that Black Light is in a basement? It is supposed to be a device that works according to the user, not the entire world around it; there is no way for the Pipbuck to detect that the user is in a specific place; also, how could the Pipbuck detect which task to "write down" and which not? It's going to make mistakes by writing down things that Black Light didn't ask for? That could be a more coherent explanation.
One thing I have noticed while reading is Black Light's habit of saying "I told myself" or "I thought" when she is narrating the story. I don't think it is necessary for her to say that because we already know that those are her internal thoughts, if it does not contain a "
Here I have the corrected paragraph, reading both, I feel more comfortable reading it this way.
Should probably stop reflecting on the floor and focus on not bleeding out. Shaking my head. I looked around desperately for anything I could use to stop the bleeding, giving a tentative glance at the skeleton’s bow next to me. This was a school where fillies studied, there had to be some kind of first aid kit. Wait a second… Glancing at the door with the classrooms. If the classrooms are similar to the ones in the stables, shouldn’t the bathrooms be the same too?
We already know that those are her internal thoughts; she is alone, making it clearer that the only thing she is doing is describing the environment, her opinions, and her emotions. There is no need for her to say something as obvious as that. I don't know if it's your writing style or something, but this is just a suggestion.
Dude, now the exciting part comes. Black Light is finally on the surface, and the first thing that comes to mind is that she has an epic encounter with Stardust. I say it would be something like this:
Stardust Glitter: Follerin' the instructions of me PipBuck, I reckon I oughta go in this direction to get to Sparkle-World.
Black Light: Oh, but what do I see? It seems like she's a pony who needs to be saved by a heroine like me!
Stardust Glitter: Another pony? Blimey, I didn't reckon I'd find another pony 'ere, especially a little filly. They always bleedin' told me the surface was proper dangerous, didn't they?
Black Light: I'm not a filly! You could say that I'm practically an adult! Look at my cutie mark!
Stardust Glitter: Hey, it's alright, but where are your folks?
Black Light: I'm sure they're busy saving the surface ponies; that's our duty at Stable 75, but enough about me. Tell me, is there anything I can help you with?
Stardust Glitter: I need to get meself to Sparkle-World, I'm sure it's gonna be a right path full of mutations and nutter ponies tryin' to do me in... Seein' as you're just a filly, I don't see 'ow you could help me.
Black Light: Ok, that was disrespectful; that's not how you talk to heroes! I have trained very hard to save ponies like you, so you shouldn't talk to me that way.
Stardust Glitter: Steady on, didn't mean to ruffle your feathers. If ya fancy it, you can come along to Sparkle-World with me. Wouldn't it be grand, goin' to an amusement park? It'll be more fun together, won't it? Wouldn't sit right with me leavin' you 'ere on your lonesome either.
Black Light: I'm busy with my duty to save the surface ponies, but since you ask me nicely... I can also take care of myself! I don't need you to treat me like a girl.
In conclusion, it was a great chapter. The choreography of the fight scenes is decent, and it seems that Black Light already has her group that will accompany her for the rest of the story. Let's hope that each and every one of them has their moments to shine and that not everything is about Black Light.
Well, this ends my review. I have nothing else to highlight about this chapter, and I hope that the next one will be just as good as this one.
11945890
You are somewhat correct, the full explanation for why Black Light's internal narration feels like she is older than she is is simply because she is convinced that she is extremely intelligent. This is obviously helped by the researchers constantly reinforcing the notion that all the subjects are the best of the best.
Since she thinks that she's super smart, she thinks in a needlessly complex manner, and even speaks that way at times, much to everypony else's annoyance.
Worry not, I have all my planned chapters balanced in a way that allows for building up to action and then winding back down.
The task detection spell, along with another small "modification" that I haven't seen anyone point out yet, are stable 75 exclusive things that mess with how the PipBuck works and will lead to issues down the line. They are meant to help the research team with controlling the fillies and colts more easily. Without spoiling, I can say that the PipBuck can detect Black Light's immediate surroundings, and it can detect whenever she intends to "add a task" to her list, it will come into play later.
That is simply my writing style. It's the way I differentiate between passive and active thought and how I draw attention to what specifically Black Light is focusing on.
Thank you! Glad you like the team, I tried to make them as interesting as possible without veering too much into "original OC do not steal" territory.
Glad you enjoyed the chapter and that it even inspired you to write that snippet of conversation. Thank you for your comment, cheers!
11946000
That's... a valid justification, I always had my complaints with the way Pipbuck works, I don't mind the fact that it's just a pony version of the Pipboy, Pipboy is a key element of the Fallout games, but the way in how it is used, being exactly the same as the game is my problem, like the repair assist, I am aware that MLP is Schizo Tech, but some coherence doesn't hurt, with so many game mechanics implemented, it makes the world feel like a virtual reality instead of being an organic and natural world, that is my problem that I have had with the FOE that I have read, reaching the point where I take the adventures of the characters takes place in a virtual Equestria, because I doesn't feels like the Equestria we all know, at least Magnum Opus doesn't have levels or perks, which makes your world feel more natural.
Although now that I think about it, that is somewhat subjective, since with magic, you can do anything according to the convenience of the plot, just as the functioning of the Pipbuck is justified through magic.
That can make your writing redundant and a little distracting. In fact, this is the first time I've read a first-person narrative where the character mentions what he or she is thinking during its internal thoughts. I don't know if this is common in first-person stories. Not that I remember, but I guess it's just a matter of adapting to this style of writing.
No problem man, that happens when I rock creativity, I think I captured Black Light's personality up to that moment.
11941558
To quote maxors mgs3 video "she gets snake to buy her only fans and then gives him a gun, which he likes more"
holy how big of dumdum oblivious fuckup can you be blacklight
then again i have no real sympathy with the steelranger ether
live by the gun die by the gun
11963845
Erm akshually she is extremely intelligent, she said so herself 🤓
YEAAAH. Amazing chapter! Cant wait for the next one
Interesting story, enjoying it so far. I get the impression that Black Light is about the equivalent of 14 to 16 years old, is that right? That age and her terrible upbringing would certainly explain how she can seem so smart and so stupid at the same time. I hope she starts to get a clue soon or she's going to run into major trouble one of these days.
11991612
I’m glad you’re enjoying the fic! It’s been really fun to write.
Black Light is indeed in that 15-16 age bracket, and she will get a clue… eventually 😂
In the meantime, hopefully her friends can keep her somewhat on track!
black light the walking disaster mare strikes again xD
12009583
Brain damage? Nah fam, we call that ‘character development’ ;3
Its seem like Black light got a bit of repantince (how do you write this word)
12032505
Repentance? I don’t know what word you were going for 😭
But yeah, BL got em to turn their life around FAST.
Brotherhood of Steel
what a joke
fallout 4 they run and hide from me well the few that are still alive.
the T60 most of them have on is just total junk when going up agents my full kitted out X0-2
get around behind them and snipe the power core and they go up like a small sun.
but i am level 3560 or a bit more i kind of forget.
Totally didn't forget the biography card for chapter 11 haha 😅
Backlight seems to remain mostly clueless as to the way of the world, but I think she is slowly beginning to learn. I just hope she doesn't get Pot, Narrative, or herself killed, or injured, any time soon. She means well, and she only has the experience she got while growing up in her stable, so her innocence and naivete are understandable, poor pony.