When you want to write but procrastination is winning | A Starlight fan since 2020 | Christ is King!
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Enraged that her plan had been foiled by Twilight and her old followers, Starlight retreats inside a tunnel inside a big mountain.
However, little did she know that she had a new problem in her hooves. One that she didn't even consider before running off: how will she find food and water in a dark, gloomy cave?
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Not to be offensive, but this kind of got boring after a bit.
But I still read it because I'm a good friend who has become too lazy to point out your grammar errors for any longerStill, interesting plot!
11563974
Thanks it was just a random one-shot that I made up lmao
Think the death tag is not needed here
11564089
Hm I considered removing it, but I felt conflicted.
Sure I'll remove it
Not a bad story, but not outstanding either. I feel like you had a good premise that could have really been used well, but the execution was a bit lacking. You had some good characterization, but this needed a lot more of that to stand out as a character drama, and it didn't really have anything else going for it.
11568687
Thanks for the helpful criticism! Yeah I'll work on that once I make more one-shots in the future
My Little Reviews & Feedback I did your review.
I recalled seeing the Death tag when I first put this on my Read Later, and I guess I didn't double check to notice its absence. The whole way through I was scared for Starlight, especially nearing the end as she stumbled upon such a beautiful oasis of resources. I was almost expecting Starlight to lose herself in bliss, then it's revealed it was all a hallucination and she actually died right before reaching the stalagmite. o.o
Thankfully I was hilariously far off, and felt a huge relief seeing it was actually real!
11576882
I struggled with either putting the "Death" tag there or not so...
I decided to remove it