Changing Expectations: Reflections

by KKSlider

Phasma Is Considerably More Evil But He Is The Main POV Character So It’s Okay 5/4

There’s no sound in the Palace’s vaults.

I don’t even know what they look like. I’ve never been inside them, and it’s not like pictures are taken and widely distributed of the most secure room on the entire planet. I heard the sound of metal doors opening when they brought me in, but that’s the only hint I was given. Given how long it took for the doors to open, I can only imagine them as a massive, circular vault door. Or doors.

It’s so quiet…

No sight, no sound, no sense of touch, no emotions, no magic. I was locked inside my own body, apparently turned into a statue by the Elements of Harmony. Belatedly, I recalled the case of the demon of Discord suffering such a fate. Such scraps of knowledge had been carefully pried from the dangerous and terrifying location known as the Manehattan Public Library, yet I had no idea what such a horrible fate entailed.

Alone…

I wondered how long I would be trapped like this. Unable to breathe, to scream, to cry, to beg for death. Luna was apparently stuck on the moon for a thousand years. Would I face a similar fate for trying to save my species? If it wasn’t for that damned Umbrum, none of this would have happened…

Or would it? In truth, it was impossible to tell where I ended and where Sloth began. Even now, I feel unremorseful for many of my actions taken to protect the changelings. Was this the fate I deserved for not believing in a better way? Am I to be damned to the worst ending imaginable for doing anything and everything to protect those who look up to me?

Death would be so much better.

I wanted this to end. I wanted out. Freedom or death, whichever was possible. Maybe in the next life, I could do things right. Maybe I can think of better plans, or win the important fights, or even just have a safer life. Maybe I wouldn’t have to be in charge of everything. Though being honest, I loved being a leader, and I was scared that next life I would be just another average joe. I loved being important, I loved being powerful, and I loved making history.

So where did I go wrong? What did I do to deserve this? Was it my rebellion against Chrysalis? Was it my failure to save Thorax? Or was it when I commanded my friend Oest to die for me? Was there some way to survive in the woods that I missed?

Is anyone going to save me?

There was only darkness and silence now.

Hours passed one by one. I had nothing to do but think, scream in my head, and panic about not breathing. Frequently, my thoughts returned to the alicorn who I could relate to most. She had worked so hard to try to help me; from the moment that failure of an Umbrum Nightmare Moon had died, Princess Luna had attempted to find some way to save both the changelings and the ponies. I… didn’t know if there was any hope at first. Now, all I have is that hope. I hoped that she would succeed and save the day. I hoped that my changelings weren’t being slaughtered out there because of me. I hoped that somehow, this unending nightmare of mine would end.

How long would I be here? How long have I already been trapped in this? If Luna was banished to the empty moon for a thousand years…

I wanted to shudder in fear. I wanted to cry. There were so many things I wanted to do, but all I could do was suffer. Hour after hour of sitting in absolute darkness and silence. I never slept, either. I had to endure every single second of my worst nightmare.

It took days for my visitor to arrive. The sound of the heavy metal doors grinding open was a life raft of sweet external stimuli. I wanted to twitch my ears and face the sound which came from my right. I wanted out…

“That will be all,” Luna said.

‘Luna! It’s you! Please, help me! I can't…’

The pony walked closer, the sound of her hoofsteps growing louder until she stopped right in front of me.

“Oh, Phasma…” she whispered.

‘I’m here! I’m here, Luna! Get me out of here! Please! Luna! Please, Luna…! Are you there? Can you hear me? Am I just imagining things?!’

I did my best to focus on the silence. After what seemed like an entire minute of suppressed panicking, I realized that there was extremely faint breathing in front of me.

‘Luna! Come on! Get! Me! Out! Or– or just kill me! Do something, anything!’

The pony sighed, “I’m sorry, Prince Phasma. Things should have never turned out this way. My mind keeps returning to that one fateful night that I fell to my own temptations and let the Nightmare in. If I hadn’t fallen, I wouldn’t have been banished. If I wasn’t banished, both Celestia and you would be here now, beside me… I failed you both.”

‘I’m here now! Please, listen to me! Help me!’

“Most of the Element Bearers are in agreement: the Elements should be used again to free you. However… Twilight Sparkle is hesitant to go against her former teacher and faux-mother. I don’t know how she did it, but Daybreaker cleaned up everything in Locksdale before we visited on that day. Since then, Daybreaker has wedged enough doubt in Twilight’s mind to stay her hoof. The rest of the Bearers are too unsure of what to do to lend any conviction to the matter. If I press too hard, Daybreaker will… I don’t know what to do, Phasma. I feel so confused, lost, and frustrated. I feel like the only pony I can talk to freely is trapped as a statue, unable to hear a word I’m saying…”

‘Kill me, Luna! Kill me! I want out! Let me OUT!’

She continued, “But we are so close! All I need to do is unhook Twilight Sparkle from Daybreaker’s schemes and it will all be made right! The Nightmare is cunning and patient, however, and is playing the part of a pacified pony princess perfectly. Sard her! I’m not giving up. I will make this right! I will save my sister, end this war, and save you! I cannot express how thankful I was for you to find me, Phasma. If you hadn’t accidentally reached out to Nightmare Moon while we were still trapped on my moon… I will repay that blessing. I have to.”

My wordless screams and cries went unheeded.

“... Thank you for your company, Phasma. It felt good to vent my frustrations. I… We’re going to leave you in the vault. As much as I want to bring you out to somewhere I can see you frequently, I can’t help but fear the minute chances of something happening. Unlike Discord, if your statue were to shatter, I don’t think I could take it…

“I must return to my duties. If I spend too long missing, Daybreaker will know, and… Thank you for listening, Phasma.”

Luna left me alone in the darkness again, the door shutting behind her.

I still couldn’t cry.

---

I had no concept of time. I was trapped in perpetual darkness without any outside contact for a very, very long time. Weeks? Months? It felt like centuries, regardless of the truth.

A few times, I heard the vault opening and expected Luna to engage in another one-way conversation with me. More often than not, my hopes were rewarded with a coveted scrap of contact. But more than once, it was simply a Royal Guard squad sent to inspect the vault, or something to that end.

Luna described to me various problems she was facing. Most of them had to do with convincing the Elements to kill Daybreaker. It was not easy to doubt the person who taught you everything, but all things considered, that doubt had already been implanted in their minds. The really tricky bit was convincing Twilight Sparkle to do something that could potentially kill her surrogate mother.

At least they managed to keep the Elements on them, and were smart enough to not let them out of their sight.

I listened to Luna in silent sorrow and pain, clinging to every word like they were a life preserver. I quietly begged her to stay. Every time, she left with an apology. That made me feel like she could actually hear- though I know it was just a coincidence.

There was no other way to describe what happened, other than 'time passed.' In the darkness, each second both dragged on and blurred together. I experienced days like one experiences a marathon. Visits were few and far between, until the day it all ended.

The first thing I noticed was that Luna's steps were quicker. The second thing I noticed was the crinkle of magic being used. The third and final clue that something might be up was the loud thud of metal hitting the floor after the vaults doors were closed.

"Faust above, please let this work," Luna whispered.

'Make what work? What's going on?'

The pony stood in front of me, mumbling quietly.

"Tis been some time, you might need to readjust…. Nay, too formal. Phasma, I am… Bah! I am overthinking this!"

The soft sound of magic being cast filled my ears, followed shortly by the sound of something scraping against stone. I suddenly felt a pulling sensation near my chest. The sudden input of a sensation other than sound caused me to cry out in joy.

'What is this?! Goddess, I can feel something again!'

Stone cracked all around me as sensations began rushing back. A sensation of cold air against my chitin sent me into stunned silence. Exhaustion and pain heralded the return of muscles and wounds that I had long forgotten about. My whole body started shaking as I began to break loose from my frozen form.

Now that I could actually feel my body, I realized that I had been frozen while hissing at the all-encompassing wave of magic that had doomed me. My jaw herded side to side as it was freed from the stone, allowing me to slam my mouth closed. The sucking sensation in front of me started to even out, letting me detect the familiar bindings of the weapon held in my outstretched hoof. At last, I finally had an understanding of what was going on.

Luna had returned God-Splitter to its rightful owner. The magic-sapping properties had destroyed whatever it was that was trapping me within my own body. I had no idea it was capable of eroding something as powerful as the Elements of Harmony's work, but I wasn't about to protest.

Gravity pulled on me for the first time since my second-death, and I fell forward. God-Splitter slipped from my grasp and clattered to the ground, but a pair of hooves caught me and pulled me in. I was limp in Luna's grip, shaking uncontrollably as pain started building in my chest.

I was completely overwhelmed by sensations now. I felt the pony's fur and cold peytral and boots pressing against me. I sensed the magic in the air, thick and turbulent from the ridiculous amount of enchantments and artifacts present around us. Faintly, I tasted happiness. The only two senses left blind were smell and sight.

I dared not open my eyes, lest this whole dream be dispelled.

"It worked!" Luna cheered. "Huzzah! Eat thine own excrement, demon! Phasma, can you hear me? Are you- Phasma, breathe!"

The sudden realization that I wasn't breathing- and that I had to- brought a wave of cold air into my chest, and the smell of shampoo into my nose. I forcibly exhaled and inhaled over and over again, breathing manually as I desperately tried to remember how to do it normally.

"You've been away for some time, Phasma," Luna explained. "But fear not! You're in good hooves, now! If I might be so bold, you are in the greatest hooves in the land… I am not detecting any foul magic within you anymore. Are you feeling okay, Prince?"

Between ragged gasps, I managed to clutch onto Luna, holding onto her for dear life.

"You… saved me," I wheezed. "Luna… T-Thank you… You stayed…"

"It is my duty to save those in need. I have a lot of lost time to account for," Luna said. "I see that the Elements have righted most of your wounds. Though, I know from experience that you may feel some aching… Open your eyes, let us see if the worst of your physical afflictions has been corrected."

I kept my eyes shut, "No, please… I don't want… to wake up… from this."

"The Nightmare is over, Phasma. The monster is dead. Unfortunately, the one possessing my sister lingers, but that shall be rectified in short order. I simply could not wait after coming up with the idea of using your hammer to free you. I suspect it was only possible due to the Nightmare taking the brunt of the magic. I wish I knew why it also petrified you…"

I didn't respond to that. Simply breathing was already an exhausting effort, and I was still shaking.

"I will take you to the infirmary, Phasma. They will want to look you over, the changeling healers especially."

"Don't leave me," I gasped. "Don't leave me… in the dark."

"I will not leave you. I intend on returning the kindness you showed Nightmare Moon, Phasma. Speaking of which, I need you to remain as calm as you can if Daybreaker finds you… when Daybreaker finds you. The Bearers will soon act against her, but she will no doubt learn of your sudden freedom before then. I know the duel was just moments ago for you, but can you do that?"

I groaned, "How are the changelings?"

"Better than when you left them," Luna revealed. "Locksdale was shut down immediately. Daybreaker used the perpetrators, Division-P, as a scapegoat to cover her own involvement. The vast majority of them have been incarcerated and await trial. Were it up to Daybreaker alone, that trial would find them innocent- or simply would never happen. Your little outlaw empire has reached a truce with Equestria, and handled the release of Locksdale's prisoners. In your absence, Coxa leads the splinter faction. Your gambit worked, the changelings are safe."

I grunted an acknowledgement and buried my head deeper against her shoulder.

"Thank you, Luna."

"As I said, I owe it to everypony to make up for my lost time and past mistakes."

"No… for talking to me. For staying with me. It meant a lot."

The sensation of fear stole away much of the hug's warmth, "What do you mean? You were… Nay, you should not have heard those conversations. Unless you are saying you heard them while dreaming? Some of those were quite private, and I would appreciate it if you kept them between us."

"I wasn't dreaming," I told the alicorn. "All I saw and felt was darkness. Your words, however rare they were… they were everything to me. Thank you, Luna, for saving me..."

Fear infected her words and corrupted the warmth from her, "No, nay, that is not- you did not… It should have been nothing more than a blur to you! How long ago did you cross blades with Daybreaker, Phasma?! That is, from your perspective?!"

I attempted to shrug, "A very long time…"

Luna's grip tightened, "That was six months ago! You were awake for six months?! Phasma, I am so sorry, I should have forced the Elements to free you, or thought of this idea, or-"

"I'm happy you saved me," I interrupted. "I… I can't say anything more. It was horrible, Luna. I can't imagine what it was like to be on the moon for a thousand years if this is what six months was like."

"These are two different wounds," Luna said, still holding tight. "I was not in darkness on my moon, save for when I traversed the far side. And even then. I could– nay, it does not matter. I'm sorry, Phasma, for everything you've experienced. Let's… let us get you to the infirmary, before any changelings present break down the vault door to get to you. No doubt they have sensed your Hive Mind."

I nodded, "Okay. Just… don't let go?"

I sensed Luna's horn fill with magic as she spoke, "Never. Things will get better now, I promise."

Comments

[Cyana Flame]

Hello darkness my old friend~

[ObsPerson]

I was locked inside my own body, apparently turned into a statute by the Elements of Harmony.

Statue

[theBeachBoysBrony]

Phasma (who is considerably more evil) gets worst ending possible (for 6 months).

[Malevolo cucarachon]

11784956
Is that a reference to EAW?

[Malevolo cucarachon]

Man these alternate stories are pure GOLD, my favorite is Phasma and Nightmaremoon in a toxic relationship but this last chapter is an 11 out of 10.

I was thinking about how inspiring you are to me, I really want to write something and I'm sure you will be an honorable mention when I (maybe) write something that I consider worthy of being read by working people.

[Arlan753]

That was dark... I love it

[KKSlider]

11784956
11784970
Hey, things could be worse! It's just some torture and isolation, exposure to his greatest fear and an almost insanity-inducing 6 months of hell!

11785004
Ha! Go for it! Write for yourself first and foremost, though. It's important to love the story you are writing, and know how its going to go. The amount of stories that get abandoned because they don't have a plan....

[Malevolo cucarachon]

11785073
I'm still trying to make a plan for the entire plot, but I think I almost have the beginning, maybe I could do a one shot and see how it turns out.

Thank you very much for answering

[tsaukpaetra]

It's quite lonely being encased in stone, but you wouldn't know that would you, because I don't turn ponies into stone!
Active isolation is one of the more sinister tortures, let's see how they all do when the dust settles...

[KatieBreeze]

I'ma just curl up and cry for a while ;-; poor Phasma. I'm so glad even I'm this timeline he ended up in Lunas arms. But he's going to need a lot more therapy then the less evil Phasma...

Such a good read omg. All of the feels

[HK-FortySeven]

Well shit, I guess the lust for (former) HMD once again transcends all.

[HyperLing]

Dude, this guy's fear is real genuine. God damn. Loved reading this alternative timeline. It was most enjoyable.

[Aydensauce06]

what if phasma released luna during the canterlot invasion?