The Best Thing Since...

by Undome Tinwe

Saturday

Routine was very important to Twilight Sparkle.

She believed that everything had its proper place, and that everything should be in said proper place. Spatially and temporarily. Routines were a way to assign a proper place to tasks, and they provided order, stability, and comfort in a chaotic, unpredictable world. As much as Twilight was able to, she liked to put things in their proper place, and that meant following her schedules and lists.

For example, every Saturday, she would go out to the local supermarket and stock up on the items that were missing from her pantry. The endless rows of shelves were soothing in their structure, and the harsh artificial lighting cleansing for the spirit.

Of course, every plan inevitably ran into complications.

For example, the price tag for a loaf of Wonderbread, the next item on her list. It indicated that the product in question was a hundred times its usual price, which was very much irregular.

Oh, and the breathtakingly beautiful woman standing in front of the price tag, tapping her finger to her chin as she considered it.

"Oh my," the woman said, her cultured voice carrying a musical lilt to it. "I know it's not the budget brand, but this is a bit much, hmm?"

This was an obstacle to Twilight's routine, and she knew that the socially correct action was to respond to the woman's comment. "It's probably just a typo. Specifically, it looks like the employee in charge of logging the prices forgot to add a decimal point, which explains why it's exactly a hundred times its usual price. The other alternative is that the Wonderbread Corporation is trying a highly abnormal pricing strategy that is unlikely to work out."

"I should hope not," the woman replied, smiling. Her smile lit up the room, injecting blinding light into the safe monotone of Twilight's routine. "After all, I would like to continue my employment with them."

Twilight perked up at that. "Oh, you work for the Wonderbread Corporation too?"

The conversational partner gestured towards the wrapped loaves of bread in pride. "Indeed I do," she said. "In fact, I designed the very packaging you see here."

"Oh, you're in product design." That explained why she hadn't met her before. "The art is beautiful," she added politely, because that was what one was supposed to do when shown the work of another.

"It's effective." The other woman corrected. "I was tasked with designing art that would catch the eye and stand out on the shelves, and I did exactly that."

"I appreciate the amount of research that goes into these things." Twilight extended a hand out. "I'm Twilight Sparkle. I do research and development for Wonderbread."

"Rarity," the woman replied, shaking her head. "Hmm, Twilight Sparkle. I've heard that name before." She tapped her chin. "You were recently commended for developing a new strain of wheat that was both healthier and yielded more per harvest, yes?"

Twilight nodded. "Research is a collaborative endeavour, but yes, I was the lead scientist on that project."

"Well, congratulations still, Doctor Sparkle." Rarity said, giving her a polite nod. "It warms the heart to know that the other departments are in good hands. It would have been a shame to be transferred here to Canterlot just to have the company fail due to mismanaged pricing."

"Oh, you're new here?" At some point, Twilight had gone from simply wanting this social interaction to be over, to wanting to know more about Rarity. This was becoming an even larger disruption to her routine than she had expected.

"Recently transferred, yes," Rarity replied. "As an artist, I felt that living in the cultural capital of our nation would be beneficial for both my career and my soul."

"There's a bunch of art galleries here," Twilight said, nodding in understanding. "Which have some very rare pieces on display. There's a showing of several Impressionist pieces that are on loan from Baltimore Museum of Art until the end of the month, for example. There's also the grassroots artist scenes that I've read about popping up in the city."

"I've not yet had the chance to visit those galleries, unfortunately." Rarity looked up at Twilight, fluttering her eyelashes. "I'd love to have some company while I do so."

Twilight's heart caught in her throat. This was definitely a threat of her routine, to the orderly life she'd so carefully constructed around herself. But what was the point of life if not to explore new possibilities? It was the underlying principle of science, and all exploration came with it some level of risk.

And Rarity was very, very pretty and had a charm that was almost magnetic.

"Sure," she said as casually as she could. "I can draw up a plan to make sure we can hit all the limited-time events so you don't miss out."

Rarity laughed, and Twilight's heart skipped another beat. "I look forward to it then, darling." She grabbed a loaf of the Wonderbread and placed it in her cart. "And I should speak to the establishment about the pricing of our products, I should think. Have a nice day, Doctor Sparkle."

Twilight smiled back. "You too, Rarity."

---

Routine was very important to Twilight Sparkle.

Rarity understood this, so that was why, every Saturday, they would go to the grocery store together. They would hold hands as they pushed the cart together, meticulously going through Twilight's list of things that needed to be restocked.

They were moments to be treasured, these little escapes from their hectic lives. Rarity allowed the worries of her projects to fade away as she focused on the wonderful, brilliant, beautiful woman beside her as they discussed their meal plan for the week.

"And that's why we need to get another loaf of Wonderbread," Twilight said as they reached the bread aisle. "We have all the other sandwich ingredients on hand."

"Of course." Just as Rarity was about to reach out to grab a loaf, her eyes widened and she grinned in delight. "My, my, my, what have we here? It seems our employers are trying out some old tactics once again."

"What do you— oh!" Twilight stared at the price tag on the Wonderbread, which was once again far higher than it should ever be. "Wow, it's been, what, two years since the first time?"

"I believe so." Rarity let out a wistful sigh. "Time simply flies when you are with the one you love, I suppose. I had hoped to make friends when I moved to Canterlot, but I was not expecting to run into such a kind and intelligent beauty on my first shopping trip."

"I'm just glad you asked me out," Twilight replied, nudging Rarity playfully. "I would never have been able to do that."

"Fortune favours the bold, my dear." Rarity picked up a loaf and placed it in their cart. "And with the fortunes you'll be earning with your promotion, I'm sure you can afford these inflated prices."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Sure. Let's just go talk to them again and get this corrected."

"But darling!" Rarity whined. "If we correct this error then we could be depriving another aspiring couple from finding true love in this aisle!"

"The odds of that happening twice as astronomically small." Despite arguing back, Twilight still cracked a small smile at Rarity's antics. "Really, we bonded over our shared employment that just happened to coincide with the unusual occurrence here. The chances that another couple working at Wonderbread will meet here are infinitesimal."

"Ah, but what is love if not the defiance of chance?" Rarity countered, brushing her hand against Twilight's.

Twilight sighed. "Fine. I guess it's theoretically possible for that to happen."

"I knew I'd turn you into a romantic in time," Rarity said smugly.

That got another eye roll from Twilight. "Yeah, yeah." She leaned over to press a kiss against Rarity's cheek. "It's hard not to become one when you have the most amazing girlfriend in the world, you know."

Rarity giggled. "Oh, you flatterer." She paused. "Don't stop on my account, darling."

Twilight smiled. "I love you, Rarity. I'm so happy that you came into my life, even if scheduling around you can be hard sometimes."

Rarity tilted her chin up in pride. "I am quite the free spirit." She reached over to cup Twilight's chin with a hand, looking her in her lovely purple eyes as she spoke. "I love you too, my darling dearest. And I'm ever so grateful for whichever employee mistyped the price that day. You truly are the best thing since sliced bread."

They embraced and shared a passionate kiss, the overpriced Wonderbread forgotten as they basked in the warmth of their shared love.

Comments

[Lopunny]

Anyway, here's Wonderbread.

This was actually a really cute story and I liked it a lot, but I cant help but think of that one guy who commissions rich white ladies buying overpriced wonderbread, and, pardon, wonder if that was your inspiration.

[Undome Tinwe]

11095973
I plead the fifth.

[Trick Question]

11095973
Yeah, it's almost a shame his DA account was nuked for racism. Less of a shame and more of a riot that he failed to commission Shad.

I have to wonder if he still buys art. So many people parody his art now he probably doesn't need to. Hopefully he won't find out about this story.

[SigmasonicX]

I like how the Wonderbread thing ended up just being a conversation starter. This was a nice cute story, though the detail of them being employees felt odd.

[Mini Minrie]

11098735
He does. Not as much, I don't think, cause he's broke now, but it's still a thing he enjoys. murrlogic is a strange man.

[Ice Star]

I think this wins the award for the most bizarre Raritwi x (random inspiration here) story that I’ve found on the site. It also was thankfully nowhere nearly as cursed as the material being referenced, however implicit said reference is.

11104868
I’m not sure if strange is the right word for him. Aside from the flagrant racism and other issues he’s got going on, I do recall that there were enough things made public about him to suggest it’s very likely that he was fired from his job for sexually assaulting at least one coworker. Everything about that dude is cursed in the most serious sense of the word.

[Super Trampoline]

11095973

11118716

11104868

11098735

Please friends I beg of you, a (bread) crumb of context?

[Trick Question]

11118841
You have Google and can type the word murrlogic, hon.

[Ice Star]

11118841
There is a DeadwingDork video on the matter. It’s under ten minutes and pretty easy to parse for someone who has never heard of him before. The video is SFW and funny despite the subject matter. Saying anything else veers into NSFW territory and getting super off track.

Here is the video. The only bothersome things in it might be loudness and profanity. I honestly wouldn’t google much more about the guy after that, but there are some helpful (and safe for work) threads I’ll toss here too:

https://starnetz.tumblr.com/post/186688026701/you-know-whats-the-deal-with-wonderbread-is-it/amp

https://rappinforjegus.tumblr.com/post/177352216807/embed

[Super Trampoline]

11118905
Thank you. I read much faster than I watch videos so I read those two Tumblr posts and honestly my favorite part is just the ridiculous contrast between such a fucking weird but fairly vanilla, harmless "white bread" lololol kink, and the absolute dumpster fire of a person behind it.

So like, at the risk of not knowing when to shut up and not talk about people's personal lives, basically the opposite of
11118905, who I'm pretty sure is a degenerate pervert (something something proverb about stones and glass houses), but also one of the sweetest, kindest, most wholesome and good-hearted people I've had the pleasure of knowing and befriending in this fandom. Trick question, if I'm wrong and you're actually vanilla as fuck I apologize please don't sue me for libel lol

[Trick Question]

11119406
I don't know how I would describe myself sexually (which is what I assume you mean) but there are a fairly large number of kinks I like to think about. That said, I'm not very adventurous these days in real life, only in my head. Like most people in non-sport fandoms I'm high N on the Myers-Briggs (extremely high N in my case) so I'm not a sensation seeker as much as a dreamer.

[Super Trampoline]

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