• Member Since 29th Dec, 2018
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago


Clop writer with too much on their plate. Trying to level up. PM friendly ^^

Comments ( 11 )

Good advice: more filly sex, less colored dialogue.

hopefully there will be more chapters

I like the concept, it could work as a clopfic, a comedy, or both.

That's the plan! But I have a lot of things still to write for, huh...

I was gonna give this a chance, but I really don't like the colour coded dialogue.
There are stories where it works, but it's either a case of being used sparingly or it's a almost pure dialogue one shot story with only two characters.


A kindly PM has also pointed out that coloured text can be a matter of accessibility for colour-blind users, which is very true. I'm going to take a look at potentially dropping the whole coloured-text gimmick. Taking a look now to see if this chapter as currently written can be saved.

Here’s another tip for you. When the next pony starts talking use a carriage return to break it up into a paragraph. Example:

“What do ya’ll wanna do today?” Applebloom asked.

“How about going to the beach?” Sweetie replied.

“Naw. Let’s hit the arcade instead.” Scootaloo countered.

Seriously. Didn’t anyone teach you how to use paragraphs?

That is not common writing practise at all lol

Where did you learn to write? It most certainly is. If you have more than one person talking you need to separate them like I’ve already shown in order to stop a wall of text which gives you a headache.

Just ask any other writer around here. At least 90% of the stories I’ve read have been written that way.

I had learnt it was a new line, not necessarily a new paragraph. Everything modern I look up on the topic agrees with you, though, so you're right. Apparently it is common practise to use a whole new paragraph and not just a new line.

Dang straight. Imagine having a story where there was nothing but talking between characters and you write it the way you were doing. You would have one great big block of text. Could you imagine trying to read something like that?

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