Rarity was born into a poor family and because of the little amount of food and clothes there she was sent to work for the sheriff, Filthy Rich. She works from dawn till dusk for three years before she decides to travel the land. The sheriff gives her a shilling for each year, three shillings in total, before sending her away.
Based on the Norwegian folktale Veslefrikk with his fiddle.
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I’m not completely sure where you are going with this story, but it seems a lot like the Grimm’s fairytale, “The Jew in the Brambles”, which was a highly anti-Semitic. So I hope that maybe the Scandinavian source myth you used goes in a different direction or you change it a lot like you said. I am very interested, but also wary, of where you will take this.
http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/grimm110.html
Here is a link if you are unfamiliar with that extremely offensive tale.
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I haven't read a single Grimm tale, so it's highly unlikely.
I saw the little avatar for the story and thought to myself....
''That looks like a seter...''
Click!
''MUST READ!''
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/f3ebf0d1-2227-416a-b04f-d82fccf1955f/d3fuv2u-a197220f-dc12-40d3-828e-20355ee944ac.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOiIsImlzcyI6InVybjphcHA6Iiwib2JqIjpbW3sicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvZjNlYmYwZDEtMjIyNy00MTZhLWIwNGYtZDgyZmNjZjE5NTVmXC9kM2Z1djJ1LWExOTcyMjBmLWRjMTItNDBkMy04MjhlLTIwMzU1ZWU5NDRhYy5qcGcifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6ZmlsZS5kb3dubG9hZCJdfQ.1kGb9wJBYyan0i7QEGtIYYNEmDe093tanPQgDFfT7DI
Wow this feels kind of harsh. And you can still see Rarity being generous even in these rough times.
I always loved the idea of Rarity starting out as a poor nobody when she was young and then become a well respected mare. Maybe she can pour her creativity into the fiddle just like her original self would pour it into dresses.
I always love hearing about folktales. Maybe one day I'll see something based on a Spanish folktale since I'm quite interested in that. But interesting story.
I’m sorry if I am coming off too aggressive here... it is just that I really hate the Grimm’s Fairy Tale... But I do like your story so far, especially how in character Rarity is. Though she likes having things for herself, she is always selfless, even to people she does not know.
Ok, so I read the source myth. The difference between the Scandinavian myth and the Grimm one is that instead of who they meet in your source myth, the main character runs into an stereotypically greedy Jew in the woods, and the almost the same thing happens to the Jew as the sharif. I guess I am just really paranoid about stuff like that... I am very sorry and I hope I did not offend anyone when I jumped to conclusions earlier.
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Peter Christen Asbjørnsen and Jørgen Moe was actually inspired by The Grimm brothers to make their own collection of stories.
That collection is what became ''Norske Folkeeventyr'' (Norwegian Folktales) by Asbjørnsen og Moe.
These two tales actually share several points and the plot is mainly the same. But the Grimm's version is centered on the antagonist, Asbjørnsen and Moe is centered on the protagonist...
Whether that is the change due to:
Looking at you Bergen...
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d0/Kaart_Hanzesteden_en_handelsroutes.jpg
If you ask me, I would bet on the first option is more likely.
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Maybe considering blocking some of the info with the spoiler function?
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cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/723260532865630328/779390308139794512/Norwegian_RD.png
This brings me back to the original.
Pretty good, the narrative has that certain folktale feel to it with how it skims over certain parts and emphasises only the most important aspects of the world and Rarity's journey. Good job on that. Just watch out for random errors--bunched up paragraphs, some typos and missing words, the occasional run-on sentence, et cetera. Also noticed a lot of recurring direct speech issues--I can give you some pointers on how to deal wih these, if you want.
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Yeah, sure!
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I'll PM you shortly!
Hello I’m very sorry if I discouraged you with my first comments. I really am very curious to see where you will take this!