10584800

Also, if you haven't read Damp Rocks, you should check it out. I don't agree with every choice the artist made, and the comic was sadly left unfinished, but it adds an interesting take on Trixie's time on the rock farm.

derpicdn.net/img/2014/8/11/697406/medium.png
Fffffffff so cuuuuute! Thanks for sharing this with me, I don't know if I would have found my way to it otherwise.

“Why aren’t you going down?” Trixie asked with a confused smile.

The mental image of a small pony trying to push a human that is probably at least a foot taller than them (if not two) over is adorable. And laughable. "Smug blue horse confuse. Y u no move??"

“One that I wish some of my exes had learned at some point. That just because you’re a bottom,” Ellie caressed Trixie’s cheek sweetly, “doesn’t mean you have to never reciprocate as if it were a part of your femme identity or something! Like, I do have tits you know, and just because I dress like your ex did doesn’t mean I’m trans in the exact same way—“

Oof ouch owie, Ellie. I kind of want to address this, and kind of... not? Because wow, so many gender/sexuality/role/label issues wrapped up in these sentences. I had exactly one ex who made me feel similarly weird about myself and my desires, and that's a big part of why that didn't last. Still, Poor Ellie.

“Oh.” Trixie sounded disappointed again. “Is it… me?”

Aww, Trix. There's the insecurity beneath (and giving rise to) that ego. Shhhh, smug blue horse. You're wonderful.

Trixie seemed confused. “Are you still trying not to come?”

How did I miss this detail? I actually had to go back and skim a bit, as I hadn't remembered at this point that Ellie's only gotten off once (with Maud, right at the start). This feels significant, somehow. With how Ellie's acting, I don't want to psychoanalyze too much, but... am I getting "was basically stone back on Earth and is now having feelings about femmes wanting to pleasure her" vibes from this? Or Ellie just really wants Maud to be the one to get her off? Or she just really wanted to show Trixie some love? Or am I just really misreading this in multiple ways? (You are not obligated to reply to any of these questions, BTW. I'm just spitballing here. The fact that your characters make me think this deeply is a good thing.)

Okay, past all of this... The Trixie lovin's were very sweet. Sensual, warm, a little teasing. Delightfully naughty combo. I especially really liked the bits starting from:

The line was, she imagined, where Trixie would hitch her wagon to herself for those long, lonely days of drifting from town to town.

Trixie was probably pretty strong from heaving that damn thing everywhere like an Earth pony. Sore and chafed, too. Sweaty and tired and needing somepony (or one) to comfort her. You illustrated that well here. The whole sequence of Ellie envisioning past lonely Trixie and kissing where her harness rested was beyond sweet. The idea of her past self comforting past Trixie was also cute. Even if she had to reset the simulation, the tenderness and compassion in it was great to read. Absolutely adorable.

Yes. This was so deliciously meta that this had to be it!

Sometimes you just write a perfect line...

Past Trixie would have been far more grateful and patient! Or maybe not. Ellie had suspected that about Trixie. For all her recent friendship lessons, “bratty bottom” might as well have been her cutie mark.

I'm more of a fan of Dom! Trixie, but if she's gonna be a bottom, you and I both know she's not gonna be grateful and patient at all. Very, very bratty. "The Great and Powerful Trixie demands her orgasm at once!"

She smiled, lingering for a bit on the image of the earth pony cuddling up against the unicorn with care.

'Tis a good image to linger on. Especially now that you've started reading Damp Rocks. (I'd link a picture from that series here, but IDK how far you have gotten into it and I don't wanna spoil you.)

Also, an out of order observation:

She just didn’t notice because she’d always kind of thought Applejack didn’t like her very much.

Methinks I smell unrequited RariJack. Too bad, so sad, AJ.

Hmm, ending with Starlight, huh? Interesting. Let's see what Ellie and commie horse* do next...

*I know Our Town wasn't communism, but this is too funny of a nickname.

10583844
Oh, huh; I'm glad I happened to look back! For no readily apparently reason, FIMFiction doesn't appear to have notified me of your reply.

"That's the trouble with making these scenes so nice, it would be nice if they happened!"
Well, I think the characters would definitely agree. :D

"Ellie does respect Trixie more in the canon, though."
Oh, good. :)
...Though now I'm wondering why, and what the point of divergence might be... or if there isn't one so much as it always having been that way in the slightly different universe in which these particular events happen instead of not happening. Hm.
Well, don't have that much time to consider, unfortunately, but that second one does seem fairly likely.
(...Thoooooough in that case we probably would want to shove "Ellie is more willing to propose a foursome involving someone she doesn't respect very much" into the Drawer Of Things We're Not Thinking About Now with the other stuff that's come up. :D")
But, yes, low on time, so moving on, though I am still somewhat curious. :)

On the new chapter:
You know, where did that meaning of "blue" come from?
Oh, wait, also Trixie is blue. So multiple meanings. :D

"This was so deliciously meta"
I was just thinking something along those lines, yes. :D

Wait, is Ellie and/or Trixie trans in this? Did I miss subtext somewhere?

10586929
Ellie is non-binary back in the human world. Her feelings on gender are complicated

EDIT: Hmm, trans Trixie...

10586606

(...Thoooooough in that case we probably would want to shove "Ellie is more willing to propose a foursome involving someone she doesn't respect very much" into the Drawer Of Things We're Not Thinking About Now with the other stuff that's come up. :D")

Yep, that's one of the many reasons why in the canon she did not actually propose a foursome!

You know, where did that meaning of "blue" come from?
Oh, wait, also Trixie is blue. So multiple meanings. :D

Which meaning of blue? In this case, yes, it is supposed to represent Trixie being blue, but it is also not a very accurate name since there was not a first time to "again". The title was just so I could reference one of my favorite Talking Heads lyrics, "Into the blue again, once all the money's gone".

10586603

The mental image of a small pony trying to push a human that is probably at least a foot taller than them (if not two) over is adorable. And laughable. "Smug blue horse confuse. Y u no move??"

Ugh, it is, isn't it? Though in my headcanon, ponies are actually physically stronger than humans despite their smaller size considering in the canon they do feats of strength impossible for a human to do all the time. The combination of being smaller but stronger is kinda cute to me lol

Oof ouch owie, Ellie. I kind of want to address this, and kind of... not? Because wow, so many gender/sexuality/role/label issues wrapped up in these sentences. I had exactly one ex who made me feel similarly weird about myself and my desires, and that's a big part of why that didn't last. Still, Poor Ellie.

I am glad for you that it was exactly one ex and it didn't last. As you might guess, this was a direct cut from my own experiences, so I know how that feels! But Ellie is fine now, she has the magical gay horses. :)

This also makes Ellie interrupting her pillow talk with Trixie to insert this very personal issue that had no relevance to anypony else a fun bit of metafiction, and "metafictional lesbian feminist erotica" does have a better ring to it than "self-insert OC clop" (yes I know we had that conversation about not caring about labels!)

With how Ellie's acting, I don't want to psychoanalyze too much, but... am I getting "was basically stone back on Earth and is now having feelings about femmes wanting to pleasure her" vibes from this

Wow, you got this so dead-on that it's scary. As in, this is definitely something that is true about Ellie and bubbles up from time to time throughout the stories I intend to write for her, and is influencing her behavior here. But it is not the immediate reason she is acting this way which is, uh, less deep, as you'll see. But now that I think about it, there are also deeper connections to this complex that I did not see while writing the thing. Wow. I don't know what to say, except that yeah, there's a reason why Trixie's words impacted her so much.

The fact that your characters make me think this deeply is a good thing.

I did not expect to put in so much depth into this thing, which was supposed to be over like two chapters worth of words ago. I really appreciate that you are here and thinking deeply about my writing.

Trixie was probably pretty strong from heaving that damn thing everywhere like an Earth pony. Sore and chafed, too. Sweaty and tired and needing somepony (or one) to comfort her. You illustrated that well here. The whole sequence of Ellie envisioning past lonely Trixie and kissing where her harness rested was beyond sweet. The idea of her past self comforting past Trixie was also cute. Even if she had to reset the simulation, the tenderness and compassion in it was great to read. Absolutely adorable

Awwwww thank youuuuuu :) I was tearing up at the sweetness of the harness scene and I was the one writing the thing! (I always found how ponies harness carts to themselves to move heavy things around to be just so adorable that it makes me want to... well I guess you just read what it makes me want to do!)

I'm more of a fan of Dom! Trixie, but if she's gonna be a bottom, you and I both know she's not gonna be grateful and patient at all. Very, very bratty. "The Great and Powerful Trixie demands her orgasm at once!"

It's interesting that our headcanons on Trixie's relationship with her dad are mirror opposites and so are our headcanons on what Trixie's like in the bedroom. You have her itinerant showpony lifestyle leading to a lot of casual encounters and true confidence in her domme abilities, while I have her itinerant showpony lifestyle leading to absolutely no experience, feeling like she should have more than she does, and her covering up her insecurities by being a falsely confident bratty bottom (which leaked into actually being a bratty bottom, much in the same way her showpony false confidence leaked into actual arrogance and selfishness at times. Also showpony is a fun word to say.).

'Tis a good image to linger on. Especially now that you've started reading Damp Rocks. (I'd link a picture from that series here, but IDK how far you have gotten into it and I don't wanna spoil you.)

Oh no, please post it. Every single one of those images is so CD cute.

Methinks I smell unrequited RariJack. Too bad, so sad, AJ.

It's more "complicated" than "unrequited", but yes that is all over this continuity. Ellie and Applejack are going to have some nice conversations later after her breakup with Rarity (which, in a twist, will have Applejack playing the role of thing-based-on-my-experiences)

Hmm, ending with Starlight, huh? Interesting. Let's see what Ellie and commie horse* do next...

*I know Our Town wasn't communism, but this is too funny of a nickname.

There is a cut line from when Ellie was talking to Starlight about why she found her attractive that I will recreate for you here.

"It's also really cool that you went out there and actually tried to implement communism!" Ellie said excitedly. "Sure, it kind of ended in a totalitarian dictatorship nightmare, but hey, at least you tried! Way better than just posting about it on Twitter all day."

"...What?" Starlight was confused. "I don't know what any of those words mean."

10587051
It's more "complicated" than "unrequited", but yes that is all over this continuity. Ellie and Applejack are going to have some nice conversations later after her breakup with Rarity (which, in a twist, will have Applejack playing the role of thing-based-on-my-experiences)

Buy some apples.

10587051

Ugh, it is, isn't it? Though in my headcanon, ponies are actually physically stronger than humans despite their smaller size considering in the canon they do feats of strength impossible for a human to do all the time. The combination of being smaller but stronger is kinda cute to me lol

That is cute! I'd say that I share that headcanon mostly for Earth ponies, somewhat for pegasi (gotta have a lot of strong muscles along with a lighter skeletal structure to be able to fly, especially delivery ponies), but not so much for unicorns. Plus, relying on magic for a lot of tasks would mean they don't use their limbs as much, IMO.

This also makes Ellie interrupting her pillow talk with Trixie to insert this very personal issue that had no relevance to anypony else a fun bit of metafiction, and "metafictional lesbian feminist erotica" does have a better ring to it than "self-insert OC clop" (yes I know we had that conversation about not caring about labels!)

In addition to being fun and a way of exploring ideas/themes, writing can be free therapy sometimes. It's pretty great that way. "Metafictional lesbian feminist erotica" can certainly count, IMO.

Wow, you got this so dead-on that it's scary. As in, this is definitely something that is true about Ellie and bubbles up from time to time throughout the stories I intend to write for her, and is influencing her behavior here. But it is not the immediate reason she is acting this way which is, uh, less deep, as you'll see. But now that I think about it, there are also deeper connections to this complex that I did not see while writing the thing. Wow. I don't know what to say, except that yeah, there's a reason why Trixie's words impacted her so much.

Oof ouch owie. Welp, sorry to see I was right about that part. Poor Ellie. :/ Curious to see what the immediate, less deep reason is though. With my luck, it'll probably be something I've missed hints towards and will facepalm about when it's revealed.

I did not expect to put in so much depth into this thing, which was supposed to be over like two chapters worth of words ago. I really appreciate that you are here and thinking deeply about my writing.

I appreciate that you're writing deep things for me to think about!

It's interesting that our headcanons on Trixie's relationship with her dad are mirror opposites and so are our headcanons on what Trixie's like in the bedroom.

Right? That's the beauty of headcanon. Two writers can look at the same character and come up with completely different backstory/quirks/nuances, and neither are right or wrong. Always so fun to read/talk about!

...and her covering up her insecurities by being a falsely confident bratty bottom (which leaked into actually being a bratty bottom, much in the same way her showpony false confidence leaked into actual arrogance and selfishness at times. Also showpony is a fun word to say.).

"Fake it 'til you make it," as they say. While you might not end up making the actual thing you were trying to fake, you make something in the end, for better or worse. And yes, showpony is a great word! As is "showmare". (I don't feel like it would work the other way though.)

Oh no, please post it. Every single one of those images is so CD cute.

I love the size difference in the series. I feel like that's something I don't see much in fanart of gay pony ships. It's adorable and sexy AF.

derpicdn.net/img/view/2017/8/20/1515237.jpeg

derpicdn.net/img/2018/2/10/1652682/large.jpeg

Also, relevant suggestiveness (mods pls no ban):

derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/3/10/1676568.png

Trix is just lovin' it.

It's more "complicated" than "unrequited", but yes that is all over this continuity. Ellie and Applejack are going to have some nice conversations later after her breakup with Rarity (which, in a twist, will have Applejack playing the role of thing-based-on-my-experiences)

Interesting, in a good way (like everything I've read from you so far). Looking forward to it.

"It's also really cool that you went out there and actually tried to implement communism!" Ellie said excitedly. "Sure, it kind of ended in a totalitarian dictatorship nightmare, but hey, at least you tried! Way better than just posting about it on Twitter all day."

"...What?" Starlight was confused. "I don't know what any of those words mean."

Perfection.

That is cute! I'd say that I share that headcanon mostly for Earth ponies, somewhat for pegasi (gotta have a lot of strong muscles along with a lighter skeletal structure to be able to fly, especially delivery ponies), but not so much for unicorns. Plus, relying on magic for a lot of tasks would mean they don't use their limbs as much, IMO.

Here’s a bit from Timescales that explains my headcanon on this

But could she tell you how it worked? How the dense bundle of fibers forming the cranial nerve (XIIIu) running from her brainstem to the projection of keratin on her forehead had one end rooted in the secular world of ionic gradients and electron flows, and the other in the ever-flowing stream of magical energy that permeated every cubic centimeter of her planet? How unlike the thaumamotor neurons of the pegasi and earth ponies, these were capable of interventions far more refined than the crude telekinetic force projection that was so useful for both flight and fight?

There’s also a part in Sfa: Life in Equestria where Ellie dismisses Twilight flapping her wings as useless.

“Don’t even know why you’re bothering to flap those things anyway. I doubt the physical wings are providing a force within even three orders of magnitude of what you need to be doing what you’re doing right now.”

“Like I said the first time you brought this up: it’s how prioception is integrated into the thaumamotor system. It might be theoretically possible to get around the link but then you lose the tactile feedback needed to-”

“Yeah, you don’t need to give me the whole spiel again, Princess.” Ellie waved dismissively. “I mean, slapping enough thauma-s in front of a bunch of neurology words is enough to fool me.”

(Also please continue not-reading it so I can force you to only read the parts I like)

Oof ouch owie. Welp, sorry to see I was right about that part. Poor Ellie. :/ Curious to see what the immediate, less deep reason is though. With my luck, it'll probably be something I've missed hints towards and will facepalm about when it's revealed.

I wish I could say it is something deep and meaningful but I cannot. It is perhaps the opposite of that, so you might facepalm hard.

And yes, showpony is a great word! As is "showmare". (I don't feel like it would work the other way though.)

You mean how “showstallion” sounds unnatural while "showmare" does not?

I love the size difference in the series. I feel like that's something I don't see much in fanart of gay pony ships. It's adorable and sexy AF.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2017/8/20/1515237.jpeg

Oof I see what you mean by the size difference being adorable and sexy here. This isn’t even just my Maud bias talking. I don’t think my Maud bias would be able to form the words.

derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/3/10/1676568.png
Trix is just lovin' it.

As am I, also the hottie mark peeking out just below the hem, oof

Perfection.

There was this comic I really liked where somepony muses what would have happened if Starlight Glimmer were never stopped and it ended with an Equalist version of

which needs to become a fic, like, yesterday
EDIT: Found it!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/4/7/867667.jpeg

10587604

(Also please continue not-reading it so I can force you to only read the parts I like)

I hate to be the bearer of bad news (again), but I definitely plan on reading it when I'm in the mood for something with the Tragedy tag. Given these passages, I am definitely even more intrigued than before. That's some solid prose right thurr.

I wish I could say it is something deep and meaningful but I cannot. It is perhaps the opposite of that, so you might facepalm hard.

I will have my face and my palm on standby.

You mean how “showstallion” sounds unnatural while "showmare" does not?

Correct.

Oof I see what you mean by the size difference being adorable and sexy here. This isn’t even just my Maud bias talking. I don’t think my Maud bias would be able to form the words.

Nice.

As am I, also the hottie mark peeking out just below the hem, oof

Didn't notice this at first, but yes. Ooooooooof.

EDIT: Found it!

Hilarious. Nice use of zeppelins.

10586935
"Ellie is non-binary back in the human world. Her feelings on gender are complicated"
Ah, interesting; thanks.
(And yeah, I've heard that there are actually many people who don't have complicated feelings on gender... but I'm kind of not sure how that works unless one just never thinks or feels at all outside of whatever gender roles one was raised with, assuming that those are also sufficiently simple.)

"EDIT: Hmm, trans Trixie..."
That's actually an established idea, if you hadn't run into it before! I'm not sure how common it actually is, as I've only bumped into it a few times, but I think at least enough to be A Thing.

10587022
...Well! Not sure what to make of that! :D

Oh! I thought it was referencing the return to sex scenes after the conversation lull of the previous chapter. Let's see, dictionary...

blue 1 |bluː|
adjective (bluer, bluest)

3 informal (of a film, joke, or story) having sexual or pornographic content: a blue movie.

That. I guess it's applicability here was a coincidence?
(And I didn't get the music reference at all, sorry.)

10587604
"I wish I could say it is something deep and meaningful but I cannot. It is perhaps the opposite of that, so you might facepalm hard."
Well, that's boosted my confidence in my leading hypothesis of some manner of pornographic simulation, possibly a lucid dream with some quantity of magic involved a bit.

10587478
smol horse?

10588063

(And yeah, I've heard that there are actually many people who don't have complicated feelings on gender... but I'm kind of not sure how that works unless one just never thinks or feels at all outside of whatever gender roles one was raised with, assuming that those are also sufficiently simple.)

That's fair! Gender is very complicated for everybody, trans and cis. To be more precise, Ellie's feelings on how she'd prefer her gender to be perceived and which pronouns to use in which context are complicated.

Oh! I thought it was referencing the return to sex scenes after the conversation lull of the previous chapter. Let's see, dictionary...

blue 1 |bluː|
adjective (bluer, bluest)

3 informal (of a film, joke, or story) having sexual or pornographic content: a blue movie.

That. I guess it's applicability here was a coincidence?

It is a total coïncidence! But now I will claim that this was my intention all along because it works so well.

Also for some reason I find it really funny that Trixie is blue. I have no idea why. Maybe because blue is kind of a ridiculous color for a horse to be.

(And I didn't get the music reference at all, sorry.)

Will end up linking all of my favorite songs to clarify song references if my writing career here goes on long enough.

10595773
I think that's the understanding I'd already gotten of her particular situation, or at least fits with it, but thank you for the confirmation/clarification. :)

Hah, righto. :D

Oh, indeed, as opposed to very sensible horse colors such as purple, green, and bright pink.
(:D)
(Also, I haven't found the blue small horses being blue particularly funny, but I have found this funny, and am glad you derive amusement from that, so thanks. :D)

...Well, the opening of the song apparently sounded enough like some sound from a game I played as a kid that my brain primed for that, I'm guessing not an experience you had with the song, but that quickly stopped as the song picked up.
And listening more, I believe I have encountered this song before, though I don't have clear memories of the circumstances.
And not bad; thanks. :)

"Will end up linking all of my favorite songs to clarify song references if my writing career here goes on long enough."
Heh. :)

Although practically a non stop clop scene - what I usually don't like that much - it is pretty lovely, cute and wholesome. Probably because there is fluffy dialogue in between. I like.

10741107
Thank you! That is what I am going for, so I'm always happy to see these comments!

You've heard most of my thoughts thus far elsewhere, so I shan't repeat them, save to say how much this story lifted my spirits. It is so beautiful.

And yes, with some fiery hot sex, and plenty of it. As a trans woman seeing Maud get to do all that was... fascinating and enjoyable. And every last bit of characterization is so beyond sublime, their voices so easy to hear. This was just... oh I loved it so much and I can't wait to see it continue.

10955443
just wanted to let you know that it's comments like this that i go back to whenever i need something that feels like a warm little fire on a cold night. to know that my work has been truly seen and appreciated by someone in the audience it was meant for really does mean a lot to me, more than any big numbers ever would. thank you so much!