Starlight learns to let go of her stress. Trixie finds a new way to process her emotions. Maud reveals why she always wears a frock. Ellie says trans rights, and not just with her mouth. F/F/F/F Pony/Pony/Pony/Human with sweetness and character.
...Why do some of the lines in the Contents section of the description have links to their chapters? And if most of the ones for the published chapters do, why doesn't the one for the (as I write this) most recently published chapter? Oh! Hey, which came out today, apparently. Well, anyway, on to the story!
Chapter 1: "I really have to add a skirt to this thing" Huh. Why? I'm curious about whatever particular(s) of clothes-related culture in this Equestria may be in play here.
Chapter 2: "for the all of the nights you snored" "for all of the nights you snored"?
"She was insensate to anything in the world but her own pleasure. But this time she was also orgasming." :D Ah, Trixie. "if a bit flat in terms of characterization" :D Don't worry, that isn't necessarily one of the canon parts. :D
Chapter 3: "Ellie is right-handed, it’s canon now" Oh, is it? :D
"Maud blinked. “Isn’t Coco Pommel an Earth pony? You said earlier—”
“Oh, right, of course!” Ellie said nervously." Hm. Curious...
"But Ellie could care less about such things right now." "But Ellie couldn't care less about such things right now."? (Yes I know it's a phrase that's gotten into common usage, and if it's what actually works for the character here okay, but as long as I was commenting anyway I thought I'd point it out just in case. :D)
"Then she had an odd sensation of falling. A sickening sensation. That if she opened her eyes, it would be to a world where the experiences she just had were nothing more than an elaborate fantasy spun out in her head.
No. Not now. Not yet. Please." Hm...
"the exact same energy that she uses when" "the exact same energy that she used when"?
Chapter 4: "You don’t have to anything you’re" "You don’t have to do anything you’re"?
"the belt of her frock of her teeth" "the belt of her frock with her teeth"?
"With a beautiful clit." Ah! I believe this clears up/confirms a matter/hypothesis of terminology that I was a bit puzzled by in Alicorn Biology: Princess Celestia but not enough to remark on it yet then (I believe I was waiting for more data). Though of course that is a bit further complicated by Celestia being biologically... whatever exactly alicorns are, which is some of the additional data I was likely looking for as the series continues. Exactly what Celestia identifies as gender-wise also isn't entirely clear, given the obvious already-observed differences between her public presentations and statements and even just some of what's actually going on. But I think a key factor in the terminology there was that the viewpoint was from Lyra, who's clearly interested in mares, possibly primarily or exclusively interested in mares (I don't recall if there was any hinting otherwise), who's there with someone who at least publicly identifies as a mare, and who is quite likely the least knowledgeable among the three present about whatever Celestia actually might be. Hence, the terminology used. (Though I'm guessing, from Ellie's usage of it here, that it may also be used on our Earth in contexts I've not happened to encounter. It makes sense, I think.) Though given Maud and the mention of that mare in Starlight's village, I'm definitely wondering about just how gender dysphoria works in this Equestria. A key question, of course, is whether these are just the bodies Maud and that mare are most comfortable in, or whether they're an indication that this Equestria doesn't have practical (in this context) full sex change magic (That Maud apparently didn't have access to it growing up doesn't necessarily mean much; there could be a minimum age, or it could have something to do with her particular family circumstances, for instance. And as she said, she felt better about being different when she grew up, so that might be that she didn't need/want it by the time she was able to get it.) but does have various cultural and other elements easing acceptance both by self and others. And then there's the question of lesser measures, HRT-equivalents, and what's going on there... It is, of course, a very complicated subject with a lot of possibilities even without magic getting involved. And I have limited time and more story left, soooo continuing on. :D
"imagine what it was in it for" "imagine what was in it for"?
"The adorable little pony breasts above the base of her clit" ...Which raises many more questions in the vein of the above.
"You’re saying that humans can get pregnant even when they don’t want to?" Raising questions about what the particular mechanism of these ponies not having that trait is, of course. :)
"trying to reassure be about something" "trying to reassure me about something"?
"lassi" [wikis] Huh. Don't think I'd ever heard of that before. Neat.
"share with all of us" Ah. Did she just break the fourth wall, or was that meant to refer to the group present? :D Hm. Not sure how best to word the latter here, though...
"Ellie says trans rights." Was that meant to be in an author's note?
Oh, and I'm glad Equestria appears to have such good trans rights, just to make sure that was clearly said. :) However curious I may be about the details. :D (But, yeah, even metaknowledge (author, tags, etc.) informing me how vanishingly unlikely a major problem would be, I still shared some of Ellie's nervousness about how Maud'd be received. Since, ah... well, there's a lot for Ellie to not want to talk about on this subject and her origin world, one might put it as...)
10557188 "Also, my ponies get three things! Voluntary ovulation, endometrium resorption instead of a menstrual cycle, and sexual activity unbound by phases (what do you call that, perennial? idk.)" Ah, well that answers one question; thanks! :D So, endometrium resorption like Earth horses, year-round potential for sexual interest and activity like Earth humans, and voluntary ovulation like no Earth species I'm away of (sounds like a useful ability, though!)? (As for an estrous cycle, though, I think it depends on the specific implementation. (Thesetwo relatively recent Freefall strips also comes to mind.) No problem with you not using it here, of course, though. :) (And, of course, the "too non-human" thing could be a matter of taste issue even with an otherwise workable system.))
Chapter 5: "They laughed together in a way that would be appropriate for the end of an episode of a children’s cartoon, as one does after learning a friendship lesson." :)
"Ellie was absolutely besides herself" "Ellie was absolutely beside herself"?
“Just one orgasm and now you’re just cuddling?” The blue unicorn ughed. “This is the lamest orgy I’ve ever been to. I’m going to leave before I get infected by any of your lameness.”
"Ughed" is the perfect dialogue tag that's not a dialogue tag in this situation. Trixie is such an unrepentant jackass here (at first), and I love it.
The "friendship lesson" was surprisingly sweet. That Maud stare always works. Nice to see Trixie's insecurity admitted and channeled into something more honest.
“Honestly, just the idea of you thinking of anypony not named Trixie first might be enough to make me come all by itself!“
You are just too good with lines like this. The meta jokes that come right after are just... *chef's kiss*
Ever since she first saw how Trixie and Starlight interacted with each other, she would whisper “Now, kiss!” to herself whenever she saw their faces got too close to one another, or to be perfectly honest, whenever they were next to each other at all. And now, it was actually happening! It was as if the universe were contorting itself to follow her exact wishes.
TIL my name is Ellie.
That threesome was really, really well done. Great use of description, including scent and sound. I don't blame Ellie for just sitting back and watching. That was unbelievably hot. I liked how it started with Trixie admitting her insecurities and desire to overcome them, then transitioned into a ouroboros of friendship, affection, and desire. Très magnifique.
Also, since I don't think I've commented this before, but your inclusion of YouTube links to similar lines is something I haven't seen before. It definitely works here. You have the characters down pat, so I can already hear their voices in my head anyway, but it's nice to include a reminder. Plus I'm a sucker for rehashing great moments from the show.
Comment posted by Fillyfoolish deleted Jul 20th, 2022
I might go back and fix those before the last chapter. "Could care less" is intentional, because I think it's funny that it means the opposite of the literal reading.
Though given Maud and the mention of that mare in Starlight's village, I'm definitely wondering about just how gender dysphoria works in this Equestria.
Since none of the story so far has actually happened, especially the Starlight's village thing, I have not actually answered this! I do headcanon Maud as trans but there is no way for Ellie to ever even find this out, since in this Equestria it's a detail about as exciting as a childhood gallbladder operation.
Hm...
No spoilers now!
Ah. Did she just break the fourth wall, or was that meant to refer to the group present? :D
It's a thought she's broadcasting, knowing there's no audience, because she thinks it's funny. If Twitter existed she would tweet it but no such thing exists in Equestria because it's a nice place. So in a way it is intended for us without knowing beings who have access to a narrative describing her thoughts exist. No fourth wall breaking or weird meta stuff here!
, and voluntary ovulation like no Earth species I'm away of (sounds like a useful ability, though!)?
Based it on the idea of induced ovulation, just made the trigger an act of mental volition during coïtus.
Got it in one. Either we're around the same age, or like media from the same era, or that scene has been referenced so much on the internet that it's just part of the water supply now. Inclusive or.
"Ughed" is the perfect dialogue tag that's not a dialogue tag in this situation.
Trixie's Trixie noises make perfect dialogue tags! My favorite of the ones I've used so far is "hmphed snootily".
The "friendship lesson" was surprisingly sweet. That Maud stare always works. Nice to see Trixie's insecurity admitted and channeled into something more honest.
Aww, thanks! "Surprisingly sweet" is what I'm going for a lot of the time.
You are just too good with lines like this. The meta jokes that come right after are just... *chef's kiss*
Thank you, thank you! That particular meta joke is from me being a bit self-conscious about spending my free time making the children's cartoon ponies do adult things with each other, but it's not my fault they made the ponies so attractive! (Which is something I yell often at the TV.)
TIL my name is Ellie.
Thought you might like that one!
Très magnifique.
Mercy buckets! Rien que le meilleur pour mes lectrices.
You have the characters down pat, so I can already hear their voices in my head anyway, but it's nice to include a reminder. Plus I'm a sucker for rehashing great moments from the show.
I also rewatch the clips just to make sure my own voice for them isn't drifting too far from the show, so it's really nice to hear my versions ring true for you as a fellow fan of the characters.
10572426 That's what I'd started guessing, but thanks for the confirmation!
10572634 "I might go back and fix those before the last chapter." Righto; up to you.
""Could care less" is intentional, because I think it's funny that it means the opposite of the literal reading." Funny! Ah heh. Riiight. [Twilight eye twitch] (Though I find that I am now indeed happily laughing, aloud, so, uh. Mission accomplished? :D) (...And I suppose, actually, it is somewhat funny, looked at that way. Maybe this will even help me take it more easily in the future? Uh. Well. Okay, not seeming too likely, but still, maybe!) (Anyway, thanks. :))
Ah, well, thanks for the... "answer"? :D (Though now I'm wondering about just how much of this story has actually not happened, since even if some past elements like the Starlight's village thing haven't, obviously it's not actually none since the immediate events prior to the story's happening, that caused it to happen, did. ...Unless, I suppose, this universe was created at the story's start with a false past very similar to that of a different one, and we count that as not happening? Or they're just parallel in general, and "actually happened" means "actually happened in the main universe". Hm. ...Possibly I'm overthinking this? :D Eh. Don't know, but (un?)fortunately I do have other things I need to do, so, moving on!) (Though now I'm wondering what Ellie, in the main universe here, thinks the trans situation might be. Her not having come across any mention of it could indicate a number of different possibilities, after all, and she was explicitly concerned about other aspects of Equestrian culture that are, with varying degrees of fairness, closely associated in her origin culture.)
:)
[looks back at the text and ponders] [has a realization] Oh, oh! The following line about trans rights is her thought? Okay, yeah, I did not get that the first time, or immediately this time. Maybe replace the period after "all of us" with a colon to make that more clear? Though I'm not sure how widespread this issue might be. (This also clears up my question of whether that last line was meant to be in an author's note, too.) Thanks!
And thanks. ...Though if it's during coitus, that seems like it might still lead to accidents due to distraction and pulling the wrong mental lever by accident. Still, at the least not worse than the human system, at least as far as I've thought on them so far, just with different tradeoffs, and quite likely still better overall in the areas we're most concerned with.
Got it in one. Either we're around the same age, or like media from the same era, or that scene has been referenced so much on the internet that it's just part of the water supply now. Inclusive or.
Probably all of the above, TBH. I'm in my late twenties, which makes me elderly by site standards. Mean Girls was one of my favorite movies growing up, and I'm glad it's still memeable all this time later.
Trixie's Trixie noises make perfect dialogue tags! My favorite of the ones I've used so far is "hmphed snootily".
That one was great too!
Thank you, thank you! That particular meta joke is from me being a bit self-conscious about spending my free time making the children's cartoon ponies do adult things with each other, but it's not my fault they made the ponies so attractive! (Which is something I yell often at the TV.)
Nothing wrong with this kind of content as long as it's properly hidden from the target audience. You can't see this story unless you lie verify that you're an adult, so no harm done. Besides, it's too fun writing about the magical gay horses doing naughty things to each other. And yes, they are more attractive than they have any right to be! Damn animators!
Mercy buckets!
*snort*
I also rewatch the clips just to make sure my own voice for them isn't drifting too far from the show, so it's really nice to hear my versions ring true for you as a fellow fan of the characters.
Welp, that strategy is definitely working. Keep doing what you're doin'!
Probably all of the above, TBH. I'm in my late twenties, which makes me elderly by site standards.
I think you gave me another creaky joint just now. I'm in my early thirties, which I guess makes me almost dead by site standards and real life.
Besides, it's too fun writing about the magical gay horses doing naughty things to each other. And yes, they are more attractive than they have any right to be! Damn animators!
Judging from the thousands of words I've wrote about this so far, I will have to regretfully concede that you are right, it is fun. I swear, I used to be a cool and normal person before the magical gay horses turned me frickin' magical-gay-horse-gay.
Keep doing what you're doin'!
Yes, Ma'am! I don't think I could stop myself at this point anyway.
10568613
But the feelings just make it hotter!
...Why do some of the lines in the Contents section of the description have links to their chapters? And if most of the ones for the published chapters do, why doesn't the one for the (as I write this) most recently published chapter?
Oh! Hey, which came out today, apparently.
Well, anyway, on to the story!
Chapter 1:
"I really have to add a skirt to this thing"
Huh. Why? I'm curious about whatever particular(s) of clothes-related culture in this Equestria may be in play here.
Chapter 2:
"for the all of the nights you snored"
"for all of the nights you snored"?
"She was insensate to anything in the world but her own pleasure. But this time she was also orgasming."
:D
Ah, Trixie.
"if a bit flat in terms of characterization"
:D
Don't worry, that isn't necessarily one of the canon parts. :D
Chapter 3:
"Ellie is right-handed, it’s canon now"
Oh, is it? :D
"Maud blinked. “Isn’t Coco Pommel an Earth pony? You said earlier—”
“Oh, right, of course!” Ellie said nervously."
Hm. Curious...
"But Ellie could care less about such things right now."
"But Ellie couldn't care less about such things right now."?
(Yes I know it's a phrase that's gotten into common usage, and if it's what actually works for the character here okay, but as long as I was commenting anyway I thought I'd point it out just in case. :D)
"Then she had an odd sensation of falling. A sickening sensation. That if she opened her eyes, it would be to a world where the experiences she just had were nothing more than an elaborate fantasy spun out in her head.
No. Not now. Not yet. Please."
Hm...
"the exact same energy that she uses when"
"the exact same energy that she used when"?
Chapter 4:
"You don’t have to anything you’re"
"You don’t have to do anything you’re"?
"the belt of her frock of her teeth"
"the belt of her frock with her teeth"?
"With a beautiful clit."
Ah! I believe this clears up/confirms a matter/hypothesis of terminology that I was a bit puzzled by in Alicorn Biology: Princess Celestia but not enough to remark on it yet then (I believe I was waiting for more data).
Though of course that is a bit further complicated by Celestia being biologically... whatever exactly alicorns are, which is some of the additional data I was likely looking for as the series continues. Exactly what Celestia identifies as gender-wise also isn't entirely clear, given the obvious already-observed differences between her public presentations and statements and even just some of what's actually going on. But I think a key factor in the terminology there was that the viewpoint was from Lyra, who's clearly interested in mares, possibly primarily or exclusively interested in mares (I don't recall if there was any hinting otherwise), who's there with someone who at least publicly identifies as a mare, and who is quite likely the least knowledgeable among the three present about whatever Celestia actually might be. Hence, the terminology used. (Though I'm guessing, from Ellie's usage of it here, that it may also be used on our Earth in contexts I've not happened to encounter. It makes sense, I think.)
Though given Maud and the mention of that mare in Starlight's village, I'm definitely wondering about just how gender dysphoria works in this Equestria. A key question, of course, is whether these are just the bodies Maud and that mare are most comfortable in, or whether they're an indication that this Equestria doesn't have practical (in this context) full sex change magic (That Maud apparently didn't have access to it growing up doesn't necessarily mean much; there could be a minimum age, or it could have something to do with her particular family circumstances, for instance. And as she said, she felt better about being different when she grew up, so that might be that she didn't need/want it by the time she was able to get it.) but does have various cultural and other elements easing acceptance both by self and others. And then there's the question of lesser measures, HRT-equivalents, and what's going on there... It is, of course, a very complicated subject with a lot of possibilities even without magic getting involved.
And I have limited time and more story left, soooo continuing on. :D
"imagine what it was in it for"
"imagine what was in it for"?
"The adorable little pony breasts above the base of her clit"
...Which raises many more questions in the vein of the above.
"You’re saying that humans can get pregnant even when they don’t want to?"
Raising questions about what the particular mechanism of these ponies not having that trait is, of course. :)
"trying to reassure be about something"
"trying to reassure me about something"?
"lassi"
[wikis]
Huh. Don't think I'd ever heard of that before. Neat.
"share with all of us"
Ah. Did she just break the fourth wall, or was that meant to refer to the group present? :D
Hm. Not sure how best to word the latter here, though...
"Ellie says trans rights."
Was that meant to be in an author's note?
Oh, and I'm glad Equestria appears to have such good trans rights, just to make sure that was clearly said. :)
However curious I may be about the details. :D
(But, yeah, even metaknowledge (author, tags, etc.) informing me how vanishingly unlikely a major problem would be, I still shared some of Ellie's nervousness about how Maud'd be received. Since, ah... well, there's a lot for Ellie to not want to talk about on this subject and her origin world, one might put it as...)
10557188
"Also, my ponies get three things! Voluntary ovulation, endometrium resorption instead of a menstrual cycle, and sexual activity unbound by phases (what do you call that, perennial? idk.)"
Ah, well that answers one question; thanks! :D
So, endometrium resorption like Earth horses, year-round potential for sexual interest and activity like Earth humans, and voluntary ovulation like no Earth species I'm away of (sounds like a useful ability, though!)?
(As for an estrous cycle, though, I think it depends on the specific implementation. (These two relatively recent Freefall strips also comes to mind.) No problem with you not using it here, of course, though. :)
(And, of course, the "too non-human" thing could be a matter of taste issue even with an otherwise workable system.))
Chapter 5:
"They laughed together in a way that would be appropriate for the end of an episode of a children’s cartoon, as one does after learning a friendship lesson."
:)
"Ellie was absolutely besides herself"
"Ellie was absolutely beside herself"?
"Trixie tongue explored deeper"
"Trixie's tongue explored deeper"?
"then laid down in such a way that her"
"then lay down in such a way that her"?
Aaand finished with the currently posted chapters!
Thank you for writing. :)
i.pinimg.com/originals/3c/82/55/3c8255b9eb2f3c355480698ee1761c2f.png
"Ughed" is the perfect dialogue tag that's not a dialogue tag in this situation. Trixie is such an unrepentant jackass here (at first), and I love it.
The "friendship lesson" was surprisingly sweet. That Maud stare always works. Nice to see Trixie's insecurity admitted and channeled into something more honest.
You are just too good with lines like this. The meta jokes that come right after are just... *chef's kiss*
TIL my name is Ellie.
That threesome was really, really well done. Great use of description, including scent and sound. I don't blame Ellie for just sitting back and watching. That was unbelievably hot. I liked how it started with Trixie admitting her insecurities and desire to overcome them, then transitioned into a ouroboros of friendship, affection, and desire. Très magnifique.
Also, since I don't think I've commented this before, but your inclusion of YouTube links to similar lines is something I haven't seen before. It definitely works here. You have the characters down pat, so I can already hear their voices in my head anyway, but it's nice to include a reminder. Plus I'm a sucker for rehashing great moments from the show.
10568921
I might go back and fix those before the last chapter. "Could care less" is intentional, because I think it's funny that it means the opposite of the literal reading.
Since none of the story so far has actually happened, especially the Starlight's village thing, I have not actually answered this! I do headcanon Maud as trans but there is no way for Ellie to ever even find this out, since in this Equestria it's a detail about as exciting as a childhood gallbladder operation.
No spoilers now!
It's a thought she's broadcasting, knowing there's no audience, because she thinks it's funny. If Twitter existed she would tweet it but no such thing exists in Equestria because it's a nice place. So in a way it is intended for us without knowing beings who have access to a narrative describing her thoughts exist. No fourth wall breaking or weird meta stuff here!
Based it on the idea of induced ovulation, just made the trigger an act of mental volition during coïtus.
10569317
Got it in one. Either we're around the same age, or like media from the same era, or that scene has been referenced so much on the internet that it's just part of the water supply now. Inclusive or.
Trixie's Trixie noises make perfect dialogue tags! My favorite of the ones I've used so far is "hmphed snootily".
Aww, thanks! "Surprisingly sweet" is what I'm going for a lot of the time.
Thank you, thank you! That particular meta joke is from me being a bit self-conscious about spending my free time making the children's cartoon ponies do adult things with each other, but it's not my fault they made the ponies so attractive! (Which is something I yell often at the TV.)
Thought you might like that one!
Mercy buckets! Rien que le meilleur pour mes lectrices.
I also rewatch the clips just to make sure my own voice for them isn't drifting too far from the show, so it's really nice to hear my versions ring true for you as a fellow fan of the characters.
10572426
That's what I'd started guessing, but thanks for the confirmation!
10572634
"I might go back and fix those before the last chapter."
Righto; up to you.
""Could care less" is intentional, because I think it's funny that it means the opposite of the literal reading."
Funny! Ah heh. Riiight. [Twilight eye twitch]
(Though I find that I am now indeed happily laughing, aloud, so, uh. Mission accomplished? :D)
(...And I suppose, actually, it is somewhat funny, looked at that way. Maybe this will even help me take it more easily in the future? Uh. Well. Okay, not seeming too likely, but still, maybe!)
(Anyway, thanks. :))
Ah, well, thanks for the... "answer"? :D
(Though now I'm wondering about just how much of this story has actually not happened, since even if some past elements like the Starlight's village thing haven't, obviously it's not actually none since the immediate events prior to the story's happening, that caused it to happen, did.
...Unless, I suppose, this universe was created at the story's start with a false past very similar to that of a different one, and we count that as not happening? Or they're just parallel in general, and "actually happened" means "actually happened in the main universe". Hm.
...Possibly I'm overthinking this? :D Eh. Don't know, but (un?)fortunately I do have other things I need to do, so, moving on!)
(Though now I'm wondering what Ellie, in the main universe here, thinks the trans situation might be. Her not having come across any mention of it could indicate a number of different possibilities, after all, and she was explicitly concerned about other aspects of Equestrian culture that are, with varying degrees of fairness, closely associated in her origin culture.)
:)
[looks back at the text and ponders]
[has a realization]
Oh, oh! The following line about trans rights is her thought? Okay, yeah, I did not get that the first time, or immediately this time. Maybe replace the period after "all of us" with a colon to make that more clear? Though I'm not sure how widespread this issue might be.
(This also clears up my question of whether that last line was meant to be in an author's note, too.)
Thanks!
And thanks.
...Though if it's during coitus, that seems like it might still lead to accidents due to distraction and pulling the wrong mental lever by accident. Still, at the least not worse than the human system, at least as far as I've thought on them so far, just with different tradeoffs, and quite likely still better overall in the areas we're most concerned with.
10572670
Probably all of the above, TBH. I'm in my late twenties, which makes me elderly by site standards. Mean Girls was one of my favorite movies growing up, and I'm glad it's still memeable all this time later.
That one was great too!
Nothing wrong with this kind of content as long as it's properly hidden from the target audience. You can't see this story unless you
lieverify that you're an adult, so no harm done. Besides, it's too fun writing about the magical gay horses doing naughty things to each other. And yes, they are more attractive than they have any right to be! Damn animators!*snort*
Welp, that strategy is definitely working. Keep doing what you're doin'!
10575138
I think you gave me another creaky joint just now. I'm in my early thirties, which I guess makes me almost dead by site standards and real life.
Judging from the thousands of words I've wrote about this so far, I will have to regretfully concede that you are right, it is fun. I swear, I used to be a cool and normal person before the magical gay horses turned me frickin' magical-gay-horse-gay.
Yes, Ma'am! I don't think I could stop myself at this point anyway.