• Published 25th Aug 2012
  • 23,135 Views, 2,971 Comments

Cuatro - Dirty Bit



How can one feel empty in a world full of friends?

  • ...
67
 2,971
 23,135

PreviousChapters Next
Capitulo Cuarenta y Dos

Capitulo Cuarenta y Dos

Epiphany

The strange alicorn tried to comprehend his presence in this world while looking down at the many curious eyes on him. They were starting to distract him.

"I have no reason to be here..."

He looked behind him to see the front gates to the castle, then turned around and placed a hoof on it, only to focus his attention on his raised limb.

"This is troublesome..."

"Cuatro?"

A questioning voice gained his attention. He looked back to see the lavender unicorn frowning at him "Are you wanting to go outside?"

Why are they calling him that? Do they know of his rank? He shook it off and answered "Yes, I would like that...Would you open the door?" He asked in his familiarly hollow tone.

The unicorn must have felt it with how she flinched at his response. She gave a small smile "Sure..." She replied as her horn began to glow. A good amount of power is detected from it. He heard the door open, and gazed upon the chilling evening sky with the snow laying on the ground, reminding him of his old home. He trotted outside, leaving behind the group that made up of six ponies and a small dragon.

"Hey! Wait up!"

A brash tomboyish voice was heard. He shifted his eyes back to see that it belonged to the cyan pegasus, who flew after him with a look of confusion; the other ponies and dragon chose to follow after him as well. He was already having trouble comprehending his current existence. It wouldn't do to have them follow wherever he chose to go "You should go back inside. Your presence hinders my progress..."

He didn't notice the many looks of shock and hurt after his remark. The lavender unicorn spoke up "Cuatro, what are you saying? It's us! We're your friends!"

This had to stop now. He proceeded to halt in his tracks and turned to face the group that refused to leave him while they stood out in the cold courtyard, the wind whistling around them "I am not Cuatro...I was never regarded as such, nor do I choose to be at this very moment..."

"I like it...From now on, until my memories return, I shall be known as Cuatro..."

His eyes widened slightly. What was that just now? A faint image with a voice sounding like his own? Perhaps he miscalculated somehow. He regained his composure and stared at the group in front of him. The pink pony tilted her head "So you're NOT Cuatro?"

He stared back at the one who questioned him "...That was my name for a time...I didn't mind it..."

The orange pony with a stetson frowned "Then mind tellin' us who ya are? We were hopin' y'all would just stay an' enlighten us with yer past."

He stared at the orange pony. Why did he feel connected to her? He hesitated before he identified himself to the group in front of him "My name is Ulquiorra Cifer...I am an arrancar, or more technically, an espada. I rank as the fourth strongest in power."

The pink pony gasped "So THAT'S what your cutie mark meant! You're part of a group?"

Ulquiorra blinked. A cutie mark? He looked at the ponies and noticed there were markings on their hindquarters. Upon the knowledge that he was a horse himself, he looked back and gazed upon his own marking; His ranking number as an espada had remained with him.

"What is the meaning of this? Why am I here?"

The former espada looked at the group "I will ask you all two questions before I assess the situation correctly...Who are you all and what is my business here?"

The lavender unicorn frowned, feeling hurt "You don't remember us? It's me, Twilight Sparkle. Me and Spike let you stay with us to help you learn magic."

"It would kill time, and I would incorporate more knowledge and fruitful information into my mind. Many ponies should read for the sake of understanding what needs to be figured out in their lives, including certain conundrums that plague their daily routine..."

"Y-Yes! That's a plausible reason for reading! Feel free to look at any book you like while you're here!"

Another one. Ulquiorra felt uncomfortable by this sudden happening. He looked around himself, but then stopped when he noticed the orange pony about to speak "An' Ah'm Applejack! Me an' my little sister found you in a snowstorm a few days back! We introduced ya t' our family!"

"So yer th' new feller Applejack an' Applebloom were talkin' 'bout! Good t' see ya, sonny!"

"...You regard me as a son...Are you my mother?"

"Granny Smith's not yer mother, silly!! She's our granny!"

Ulquiorra flinched when he heard his voice again. Hearing his own voice again had filled him with confusion and faint guilt.

Wait...Confusion and guilt?

This wasn't possible. As he recalled, Ulquiorra did not hold any feelings that were related to the aspect of a human heart, yet he is witnessing them within himself right now. He shook his head and looked at the pink pony, grinning as she introduced himself "And you remember me! I'm Pinkie Pie! Don't you remember when I tried teaching you how to laugh?"

"Okay, Cuaty! Since I'm gonna be teaching you about laughter, it's only wise that we coach you in the basics!!"

"You mean how to laugh?"

"Yes indeedy! Smiling is one thing, but everypony loves a good laugh once in a while, and so should you! Now, let's get started! Show me...a smile!!"

Ulquiorra stifled a light grunt. Whatever was happening seemed to be having a serious effect on him.

"This is wrong...This is all wrong. What is going on with me?"

He couldn't wrap his head around why he's alive, why he is currently a pony, or what his connection was between the ponies in front of him. The cyan pegasus spoke up with narrowed eyes "You'd be stupid to forget about me! I'm Rainbow Dash! We raced and you somehow beat me with your Sonido!"

"Have you been teleporting this whole time!? That's cheating, you know!!"

"Judging by the distance, we are over the western edge of Whitetail Woods, correct?"

"Yeah...why?"

"Then I was correct in my judgement that this particular area we're hovering is the race's checkpoint?"

Ulquiorra was getting flustered and gradually irritated by these constant images and voices lingering in his mind. It gave way to more confusion over the fact that he continued to inwardly flaunt feelings he never beared in his time as an arrancar. The next pony to speak was the white unicorn, who frowned sadly "If you're struggling to grasp any of the memories we've spent together, then let me remind you that I'm Rarity." She smiled at him "I was quite overtaken by your appearance once we've met."

"For heaven's sake, Pinkie! Don't pester this...this...dashing rogue..."

"A pleasure to meet you, darling! My name is Rarity! Pinkie Pie has informed me that you have amnesia, and let me be the first to give you my condolences..."

"Of course...Much appreciated."

He stifled a light grunt when he felt another image. Ulquiorra could not remain here out of wishing to be away from all of this, yet he needed the information so he knew the proper action to take. He willed himself to stand still as he watched the yellow pegasus take a few steps. Tears were welling up in her eyes "Y-You don't remember me? It's me...Fluttershy..." She muttered sadly "We fed my animals together..."

"Oh, isn't that just wonderful? I think they like you now!"

"I believe they're still cautious of me despite my display of kindness..."

"You're not happy about this?"

"Perhaps they could see past my appearance and accept me as their friend if I manage to visit you more often..."

"That's good to hear from you, Cuatro...I think you did well with helping me feed the animals. This is a good start for your lesson on kindness!"

Ulquiorra held a hoof to his temple as he felt more strain on his mind. This had to stop "Enough..." He said as he regained his composure, not letting the past images bother him "I've gathered your names, now explain to me the reason as to why I'm here..."

Twilight frowned "We don't even know that. You just popped out of the blue."

"She means the Everfree Forest, if you're wondering!" Pinkie interrupted obliviously.

Twilight continued "We thought you were a lost piece of Equestria's history until we brought you to Princess Celestia. Even she didn't know about you until she went through your memories!"

Applejack spoke up "She let ya stay with us so y'all could start a new life in Ponyville! We've been trying to dig up yer past ever since!"

Spike piped up "You've been gathering different words by the passing day! Like when you said Ichigo back at the day spa!"

Pinkie chimed in "Or when you said Hueco Mundo back at the library!"

So they know of his place of origin and the one opponent that managed to best him through unexplainable means. Ulquiorra wondered if they knew as much as this Princess Celestia "How much of my memories have you collected?" He asked inquisitively.

Twilight stared back at Ulquiorra "Not too much. Most of your memories were discovered on your own..." She said as she felt her heart sink.

Ulquiorra looked at Twilight "I see...It's best to say that your goal is now meaningless since I've acquired all of my memories." He looked behind himself "In fact, my very presence in this world does not make any sense whatsoever."

Pinkie widened her eyes "What are you talking about!? You're here because your our friend, remember?"

Ulquiorra shifted his eyes back at Pinkie "And you expect me to accept that as a solid fact related to me being here? Unacceptable...I shouldn't be here, nor can I condone it..." He thought back to when he was defeated by Ichigo; He remembered him wanting to properly kill him in order to end the fight and have him emerge the victor, only to be refused of his request while he faded into oblivion.

All this had happened, yet he is alive and breathing in a different form. Why?

Twilight felt her heart twist itself upon seeing the strange alicorn act this way 'No...No, this can't be true! Princess Celestia told me that if I performed the spell, it would boost my chances of making sure he wouldn't forget us!' She shook her head "That's not true..." She called out to Ulquiorra "That's not true and you know it! You've done plenty of things with us, and you enjoyed our company! This isn't like you just to brush us aside like insects, Ulquiorra!!" She said with narrowed eyes.

Rainbow Dash nodded "Yeah! This is all stupid! Why don't you just come back inside with us and forget that all of this even happened?"

Ulquiorra turned his head to face Rainbow Dash "You expect me to forget this event when I'm currently witnessing it? What do you take me for, Rainbow Dash?" He watched Rainbow Dash bare her teeth and twitch as she growled.

Applejack frowned "C'mon now, Ulquiorra! This is all gettin' real silly! We might not know it, but y'all 're here in Equestria fer a reason! An' ya found it while ya had amnesia!"

Ulquiorra gave a light scoff "You must remember that I had amnesia when this happened; I wasn't myself...Therefore, your argument is invalid..." He watched Applejack recoil at his statement.

Pinkie, throughout the conversation, felt her spirits dampen the more she heard Ulquiorra give off cold remarks to her and her friends. She tried to ignore it all as she forced a laugh "Good one, Ulqui! You had us all going there for a second! All this meanie talk and you were just kidding around! Maybe that session of laughter actually paid off, huh?" She said with a hopeful grin. It vanished when Ulquiorra's soulless eyes landed on her.

Ulquiorra could not put up with Pinkie's words "I am not 'kidding around'. All of my words have been both solemn and eloquent to each of you, yet you all choose to disregard what I say."

Rainbow Dash snapped "That's because we all know it's a load of horseapples!! You're not the alicorn we know! You're just acting like we've never met before!"

Ulquiorra stared at Rainbow Dash "You are correct...All of you are nothing to me now...Accept that fact and move on." He ignored Fluttershy beginning to bawl.

Spike felt himself tear up "Wow...Now that's just low..." He uttered in disbelief.

Rarity gasped "The cheek! Are you not listening to yourself!?"

Pinkie began to sniffle as her mane and tail mysteriously deflated until their puffiness had vanished; Her coat darkened in hue while this happened. She now had a straight mane hanging down over her saddened head "T-Take that back..." She whimpered as tears rolled down her eyes.

Ulquiorra watched Pinkie wallow in sadness. For some reason, he began to feel guilty again. Considering it as a distraction, he replied "I will do no such thing...These are facts. You would be wise as to take them to heart..."

Twilight was torn between breaking down into tears or spouting angry words at Ulquiorra over the damage he has caused "Are you insane? You mean to tell me you don't remember any of the times you shared with us? You're just thinking it was all just some kind of farce!?"

Ulquiorra stared at Twilight and how she was having trouble with her emotions. The more he stared, the more he was unaware of the next image that played out in his mind.

"Tears? Twilight, why are you crying?"

"I-I'm sorry about this, Cuatro! I only came here because I-...because I was worried about you!"

"Worried? Why exactly? I've told you that I wanted to practice my magic at a safe distance...I didn't want anypony to get hurt...Is there something else to your worry?"

"Cuatro, the only thing I'm worried about is...is what might happen if your memories return! I couldn't bear to wonder what would happen next! I can only hope if you even look at us the same way the moment that time comes!"

This mishap was worthy of punishment courtesy of Lord Aizen. These images continued to pool in his mind, and he couldn't fathom why. He felt a small pang of guilt and sadness in his heart as he stared at Twilight.

"No...This is-...This is another distraction...This was why I despised feelings...What was I thinking?"

He never hesitated in his thought, nor did he ever falter when processing it like this. Was this the cost of maintaining emotions? The former espada continued to stare at Twilight as the wind continued to blow past him in the night "I don't know what you're planning, but it will not work...Not on me...I've made myself abundantly clear that you're all nothing to me...Simple as that."

Twilight bared her teeth "What about Princess Luna!?!" She barked.

Ulquiorra widened his eyes at this. Something about the mention of this 'Princess Luna' had struck a serious nerve inside of him. While it was frustrating, he was beginning to grow more curious with all of these ticks that went on in his conversation with his supposed 'friends'.

Twilight felt tears stream from her eyes "I said what about Princess Luna?" When he had no answer, she continued "Back when you lived with us, you told us all that you've made a promise: To protect us from any danger no matter what the cost. Princess Luna gave you the drive to make that promise! You made a promise to us...to Ponyville...and to her!"

"Thou hath shown great promise as a friend and a considered thyself a protector of those thou deem most dear to thy heart! Thy strength admirable, thy devotion commendable, and thy commitment to our night most astounding! And for those facts alone...We would gladly dub thee Sir Cuatro, the Moon Shield!"
_____

"Luna has bestowed a title upon me out of both the goodness of her heart and her judgement of my character...I must be loyal to those that I hold dear..."
_____

"Ever since I've arrived, I never thought myself to belong here in Ponyville or the rest of Equestria due to both my appearance and shaded background, but with the help of my friends, I was lucky to be accepted by you all. To show you all my gratitude, I won't back down from this challenge. I will do my best to ensure Ponyville's safety and make it to where all of you won't be subject towards Goldoa and his destructive nature. This I swear to you all..."

Was this all for real? Did Ulquiorra honestly do all of this while he was in a state of amnesia? All of these images were clouding his mind, hindering his calm, and crippling his judgement. He placed a hoof on his temples once again.

"Make it stop...Make it stop!"

The former espada never thought that he would shout at himself in his mind. It was as if these ponies were playing a very astute mind game with him, and they were starting to win.

Twilight hyperventilated, but calmed down as Ulquiorra looked confused. She held a smile while more tears streamed from her face; it was laced with a disturbing mixture of sadness and false hope "You knew that this was all pointless the moment you got your memories back...All this time, you were trying to come up with an excuse to leave us all behind when you knew all about what we've been through together. Just come back inside the castle and we'll call it a night..."

Ulquiorra stared at Twilight and her friends. Every little thing that emerged throughout his conversation had taken a toll on his mind. The worst part was that it was growing to pass off as profound truth. He took a step back, causing Twilight's smile to vanish.

Applejack's eyes widened "Ya wouldn't..." She uttered.

"Don't..." Twilight said in a leveled tone "Don't you do this to us...You heard what I said, didn't you?" She stared at Ulquiorra, who took another step back as she spoke "You're making a mistake you'll regret for the rest of your days...You know that. Just stop all of this and come back inside...Cuatro..." She whimpered Ulquiorra's former alias as more tears streamed from her eyes and pierced through the snow on the ground.

Ulquiorra felt his heart buckle at the mention of 'Cuatro', and took more steps back "Don't you leave us..." Twilight continued as he backed up "I mean it...Don't leave us..."

Twilight trembled in anger and sadness as she called out to him "I said don't leave us!! Stop this already and come back to us!!" Ulquiorra stopped, not by Twilight's request, but of his own accord. He then performed his Sonido, blurring out of existence in front of everypony's eyes. Twilight hung her head briefly as she bared her teeth, then flung her head towards the heavens.

"ULQUIORRA!!!"
_______

Ulquiorra reappeared a good distance outside of Canterlot; His head was hung down as he stared at the endless blanket of snow below him. Never had he felt this way in his entire life. He didn't choose to look up or behind him when he simply trotted ahead while he pondered the reason for his existence; All while more images swam through his mind.

"I feel as if-...as if I should go back...But I can't...I made this choice, and I must know my reason for existing in this world..."

The thought of Ulquiorra currently living in a different form had taken priority over his newfound frustration. What divine power granted him the opportunity of starting all over? Why does he even exist upon the knowledge of his death in his previous life? What did it all mean?

He stopped when he noticed the bark of a tree in front of him. Ulquiorra raised his head to see that it was a lone tree in the snowy field. On the tree were the words 'Tia + Lulu, Best sisters' carved in the bark. He stared at the words, and then an image popped in his mind.

"This is where we spent most of our youth when we're not busy at the castle...Tia and I, we would usually play here sometimes."

"I see...It is a good place."

Ulquiorra continued to stare at the words, and then brought a hoof onto the tree, sliding it down slowly as he caressed the cold bark. He mysteriously felt a faint sense of nostalgia and longing while he did so, and when Ulquiorra stared at his limb, he finally recalled one of his own memories.

"I see now...What I hold in the palm of my hand...is a heart..."

The former espada drew back and stared at his hoof. Absolutely nothing was resting on it while he examined it.

"I can't believe I thought such a thing back then...Or was I wrong? Was a heart not in my grasp, but inside of me this whole time?"

Ulquiorra had yet another conundrum to worry about while he stood with his mixed emotions and images. But they had to wait when he detected a presence behind him "Why did you follow me?" He asked, not facing who was behind him.

A few feet away from him stood a midnight blue alicorn with a starry mane and tail, staring at Ulquiorra with stoic eyes and a small smile "If we remember correctly, thou wished for us to find thee if thou did not return to our chambers..."

Ulquiorra stood, then looked down "I have...haven't I?" He asked halfheartedly.

Luna chuckled "Well, we suppose not, since it was 'somepony else' that requested this from us..." She saw how Ulquiorra did not move or respond from her quip "Applejack told us everything, since Twilight Sparkle was incapable of doing so...we know that thou art confused beyond belief." She gave a sincere smile "We had a feeling thou would flee to this very spot of thine own accord..."

Ulquiorra stared at the tree "I...remembered this spot...You showed this to me, didn't you?" He questioned hesitantly.

Luna nodded "Then there is hope..." Ulquiorra turned his head to give Luna a sideways glance "We've heard that thou art having trouble distinguishing thyself between the memories that thou hath acquired and the memories spent through thy amnesia. We've come to enlighten thee and set thy mind at ease..."

Ulquiorra turned and faced Luna "And how do you propose to do that?"

Luna only smiled at Ulquiorra "Come to us..."

Ulquiorra stared at Luna, and decided to comply since he had nothing else to lose. He slowly trotted towards her until they were facing each other at a closer space. Luna closed her eyes and activated her horn, and a magical field began to surround them both, startling the former espada as he darted his head around.

"What is going on?"

When the field subsided, the scenery around Ulquiorra and Luna had changed. Instead of a vast field of snow, they were surrounded by a vast and cratered land composed of dust; There was a faint glow around the land and in the sky, which had more brilliant stars. His eyes widened when he noticed that instead of a moon in the sky, there was a planet.

"It cannot be..."

Ulquiorra looked around, then noticed Luna standing in front of him with a smile as her mane and tail flowed in a nonexistent breeze "Congratulations...Thou hath earned the privilege of being on the moon."

The former espada stared at Luna with his widened eyes "How is this possible?" He asked with surprise tinted in his usual tone. It was disorienting to be on the moon, yet at the same time he felt a sense of excitement from it.

Luna shook her head "Nevermind how...What matters is our method of enlightenment..." She took a step forward "Ulquiorra Cifer...Would thou do the honor of dancing with us on our precious moon?" She said as she looked into his eyes.

Ulquiorra tried to figure out the meaning behind Luna's stare, and an unknown force beckoned for him to accept her offer. He took a step forward "Very well..." He uttered unconsciously.

Luna's smile widened, and she nodded to Ulquiorra. To him, it must mean that she wanted him to begin the dance. He took another step forward, only to have his partner step back; he performed the same action with the exact results. The former espada decided to back up a few steps, only to have Luna approaching him. He tried sidestepping to see that his partner was mirroring his actions. While he looked into her eyes, another image unknowingly played out in his mind.

"Horseapples! What kind of crazy talk is that? First of all, you're an alicorn, silly! You're like, the strongest kind of pony there is! Secondly, who said you DIDN'T have friends?"

"What are you-"

"We're your friends! Since the moment you met all of us! We're really happy to have you here, Cuatro!"

Ulquiorra felt deterred in mind, yet he continued to dance with Luna. He began to circle around her, and she did the same as they twirled about on the moon. The former espada saw Luna stop circling with him and stopped parallel to his left, sidestepping with him as another image came to his mind.

"I...Forgive me, Luna...I'm only confused about all of this information. Your sister doesn't trust me?"

"It would seem that way, yes...And she would not fully reveal to us as to why. But thus far, while thou art so different...thou show great promise as a friend..."

Another mention of friendship. While he danced, Ulquiorra ended the sidestepping and faced Luna as they stepped back and forth while gazing at each other. Without warning, the princess of the night approached Ulquiorra and rested her head under his chin in an embrace while they danced. At that point, the former espada's eyes had widened as one last scene had played in his mind.

"But what I'm grateful for out of all of you combined...is that you've let me discover the true meaning of a heart...For that, you all have my deepest gratitude. I'm happy to have you all as friends..."

At that point, Ulquiorra had stopped dancing, ceasing his movement and catching Luna's attention. She broke the embrace and gave Ulquiorra some room as she examined him. Luna was touched at what she saw.

In front of her stood an alicorn with penitent and watering eyes. He leaked genuine tears as he held a look of realization. Ulquiorra looked down at the stains he had made in the ground.

"Tears...Am-...Am I crying?"

How this was possible did not matter to Ulquiorra anymore. What mattered now was that he now realized that while he was without his memories, he had discovered the true meaning of a heart with those that he had considered his friends and that the one standing in front of him - the mare that he loved dearly - was the one who had opened his eyes when he was blind to it all. He stared at Luna as more tears streamed down his face "Luna...I-I'm sorry..." Ulquiorra said, nearly choking up in his apology.

Luna stared at her beloved alicorn with a relieved smile "Welcome back, Moon Shield..." She replied softly. Luna approached Ulquiorra and embraced him while he let out more of his sadness and regret.

The full moon cast a brighter glow over the sky that night. In Canterlot Castle, Princess Celestia stared up at the moon from her tower, smiling warmly at what had caused the moon to do so.

To be continued...

Author's Note:

Well, the meaning of life IS 42 :derpytongue2:

I really had some of you going with this chapter, didn't I? Didn't I~? :ajsmug:

Okay, probably not SOME of you :trixieshiftleft: But hey, looks like our little espada saw the error of his ways after all, eh? :pinkiehappy:

Enjoy this chapter, friends! Peace! :twilightsmile:

PreviousChapters Next