In an empty shopping mall, Rainbow Dash searches for solace. She finds Applejack instead.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 23rd May, 2020
- offline last seen Sep 30th, 2022
Fiddlesticks
i choose defeat. i walk away.
Fiddlesticks
Joined 23rd May, 2020 ·
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Sequels1
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Fiddlesticks · 1.4k words · 40 0 · 699 views
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I don't think I really understood this, but I really liked it regardless.
Have a thumbs up.
:)
Pretty sure that Lightning is supposed to be Rainbow, unless Rainbow spontaneously became Lightning Dust for a second.
That aside, this story is wonderful. You set the tone well with the dead mall imagery, which I'm a fan of dead mall stuff anyways. These spaces that were once full of life, now just these empty cathedrals worshiping capitalism.
How does a writer that’s literally brand new, come out with a first story that rivals Anyone You Want Me To Be in one-shot deepness?
This makes my first story look like a piece of garbage, to be fair, it kind of is, but still, some of my best stories don’t hold a candle to this.
The tone was fantastic, and the implication that Applejack is dead was very well-done. It not only explains why Rainbow Dash felt lost, but why she suddenly disappeared at the end.
Considering this is a first story, and it’s amazing, I’ll be following you. You might have more to you than you seem. Or, you’re just a person with a natural talent for writing. Whatever the case, fantastic story.
Haha, I can tell this is not your first time writing - you do it very well.
this was stunningly beautiful and I was actually crying at the end there. I’m just wondering if this a multi-chapter tic or one shot? 
Excellent work, and welcome to fimfiction! Unless for some reason you remade from an old account then, welcome back!
This is a great story, I really love the imagery and the metaphors you used
is just one example of many brilliant paragraphs.
The story definitely leaves me with a lot of questions, which I'm assuming is the aim. I think the only thing I can really say critique-wise is that the bit where Rainbow flies up to the second story and back down feels really redundant. I get Rainbow's kinda meandering around before she gets to the food court but she basically flies up, stands for a minute on the second floor, and flies down xD. Kinda funny to picture.
Wild theory time! So, my first impression was that Applejack was dead, as did somepony else feel it seems. The mall may function as a kind of in-between, like purgatory I guess but maybe not quite. It's a place both dead and living can come, and if they connect right, they can see one another. If AJ is dead, than I think it's possible Rainbow is coming there because she can't deal with that fact, and perhaps it's even possible AJ is purposefully staying until Rainbow is ready to let go of her. Because I think AJ is that kind of pony.
I did also wonder about the possibility of Rainbow being the dead one but it didn't quite make sense to me. But, I do have a even wilder theory that Rainbow is kinda... Trapped in another dimension kinda, or another universe, because Equestria doesn't really have malls quite like we do. So one has to wonder where she could possibly be. She could be entirely imagining these meetings with Applejack to cope with her situation.
At any rate, excellent work! Look forewords to more in the future!
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but I’m interested to see where this goes!
Good theory! I still think it’s that first one you said because, yes, AJ is that kind of pony.
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What if the author just comes in, releases a fantastic story, and just disappears.
That happens far too much.
Wow... This left me feeling some kinda way
As a fellow author who enjoys placing Rainbow Dash in abadoned malls in the middle of nowhere, this story captures a very particular feeling that I honestly don't think there's a name for. It's that general sense of uneasiness, and yet of familiarity, that one feels in a place that should be bustling with life, and yet... Isn't.
I'm not going to try to guess what this fic "means" because I see you've posted a sequel, and my theories will likely change after that.
This is really beautifully written ❤️ I'm going to be saving it to read again later, when I need to disappear for a while.
this has got me FEELING things ..,,, the love..(?). , the yearn,,,, oh man oh MAN
I'm curious is there a reason all your fics are exactly the same length?
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the more we change, the more we stay the same
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Just did some digging on 1375, turns out it's known as an "angel number" with a very specific meaning. Here's a passage from a rather sketchy website I found on it:
So.... Idk what to do with that exactly. The meaning definitely applies in my eyes (especially considering Fiddlesticks' response), but I'm also inclined to believe that the number will only truly have a clear use/meaning at a later date.
EDIT: new thoughts occurring along the "angel" school of thought. In early passages of the bible, God is described creating the world, including details about what he did each day. Many people know the quote "and on the 7th day, God rested".
Anywho, Fiddlesticks is updating every four days it seems. Here is what happened on the fourth day of God creating the world:
(from a summary website, not the actual bible)
Normally, I doubt this would hold much meaning, but in the context of mlp it certainly makes me think of Twilight, Luna, and Celestia. Obviously we haven't heard anything from them so far... but maybe we'll see something soon.
EDIT EDIT: Might be worthwhile to comb the installments for typos. Oftentimes messages can be encoded into writings using typos. I may give it a shot later today
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Second, that’s all kinds of interesting. I don’t I will ever not be surprised by this author’s very intricate details - it’s all so well thought out. Makes you wonder what other seemingly small details contribute to our solving the mystery! And, for me, it’s quite the challenge to write with a word limit, but they’re sticking to 1375 words every time, and the quality of each chapter is still great!
First, props to you for digging around and figuring this stuff out for the rest of us - it’s highly appreciated
I think it makes sense because each of the characters we’ve seen so far have been gently guiding her, like the angels in that description do, to keep at it. Ahhhh this keeps getting better and better! Thanks again for that piece of info Mushroom!
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I thought the same thing, that the other ponies in the Mane 6 were acting as angels directing Rainbow Dash to the best possible future.
How come these stories get better the more you look into them?
But for the record, I did some poking around, and whatever poetry Fiddlesticks has posted doesn’t appear in that unbroken form anywhere else. So that’s unfortunately unsolved.
We're back, gang.
Unless Fiddlesticks has pulled some INCREDIBLY fancy hoofwork, this original chapter is unchanged, as the ever-familiar wordcount is precisely the same.
I think we'll have to stay vigilant a while. Assuming we have the information correct, we should have access to some unpublished content fairly soon.
That, or the latest comments from Fiddlesticks' are drawing us into a circle. The story ends the same way it begins... Over and over.
But, somehow, I don't think that's it. Rainbow was supposed to make it out, right? There was a light at the end of the tunnel. An end in sight.
And I'm especially reminded of Windy's comments regarding having "been through it before, a few times at least". If she'd been through it before, then surely she'd returned?
What does everything think? Is this over?
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check the blog posts. something you pointed out a while back makes a little return.....
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already there.
count it out.
talk it down.
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Seems like an ending to me but it is strange that it’s only 500 words - less than half what a normal chapter would be. And why is it called “Number one”? You think that instead of the end this is a prologue type thing? Maybe this is what started it all.
*Contemplative head scratching
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There's more hidden messages, here. Try clicking around a little more in the latest releases... I'm finding some more mysterious messages
Nevertheless, I liked it a lot - but it’s hard not to like Fiddlesticks’ work
. I wonder if there’s gonna be a 500 word piece for each installment, or if this is the only one.
Your thoughts, guys?
We’re back, to where it all began. The mall. Like Dawn said, it seems like this serves as a prologue. It’s what happened before all this.
Regardless if we’ll have more mini-chapters studying Rainbow, this series is fantastic. Fiddlesticks did more than write stories, they used FiMFiction and made it part of the story. Everything from the word count, to using the unpublished view password features that nobody ever uses, it’s like they know exactly how FiMFiction works.
And that ending, we’re back to where we began. There seems to be a couple morals here. Provided that this is the last installment, history repeats. The cycle continues. Also, Applejack’s mentions of a secondary moral, don’t let change change you, is also another fantastic moral.
Whatever happens next, if anything at all, know that I’ve eagerly read all of these and will eagerly continue.
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Really? Haha, and here I thought the mysteries were coming to an end! Seems like they’re just getting more mysterious. Thanks for the heads up
I’m confused about the story.